Adam update

As you know, I took him to the OT on Monday and it didn’t go so well. He was having one of his moments (probably brought on by the lack of sleep) and didn’t want the OT near him. Sigh. Anyway, we are going to take it very slowly and build it up to a point where he happily interacts with her.

Then on Tuesday I went to go see my lovely Paed. He is such a divine guy. I wish there was an award I could nominate him for or something. He is the most hardworking, dedicated doctor I know. He is always working, always. Love that guy. Adam was actually so funny. Because he can sometimes have a bit of a freak out with doctors and OT’s and hairdressers (i.e. anyone who wants to fiddle near him), I try to prepare him as much as possible. So all the way on route to the doctor, we go over the story of what is going to happen at the doctor.

“We are going to the doctor and he is going to make us feel better. He is going to look in the one ear, and the other ear, and then he is going to listen here, and listen there. And then he is going to feel under our chin, and then look in our mouth. And then we get a lollipop!!! YAY!!! We love that doctor, he is so kind”

The kids LOVE that story. We have to say it over and over.

So when we got to the doctor, Adam made the doctor go through the process exactly as described. He pats the doctor’s chair and says “Sit here doctor, Adam sit here”. And then through the whole spiel.

Anyway, nothing overtly wrong with Adam that he can find. His tonsils are very enlarged, but not infected.  Adam always has huge tonsils. He did have a slight ear thingy (too much negative pressure on the one Eustachian tube), for which he prescribed some meds that can be given at night because it makes him drowsy, praise the lord!

So our sleeping thing has been a little better. Only one or two night wakings, and not too restless sleep.

I am going to take him to the ENT though. Many of you have suggested it, and I really think that his adenoids might be enlarged. He is just too noisy and nasal at night for things to be normal. Problem is, the ENT is so booked up, that it is going to take me a while to get an appointment. But I’ll wait. I have one for three weeks time, hopefully I will get in sooner.

Then yesterday was the psychologist appointment and this woman was absolutely divine as well. She made me feel so much better about things, and about myself. She was positive and very reaffirming and basically said that I am doing the right thing, which is always nice to hear.

She said that the main focus for the moment should be the sensory stuff, and that one of the coping mechanisms I should employ to help him handle his environment is to prepare him for what he is about to experience. By doing the story telling stuff I had instinctively been doing already. “We are going to be going here and then we will be doing that etc”

She also said that I shouldn’t put him in a crèche before 3. Which took a lot of pressure off me. Silly huh. That I feel such pressure by other people’s expectations. The OT has also given me ‘permission’ to keep Adam’s dummy for as long as he wants it, as he needs it for self-soothing and regulation. Yay!

Anyway, I feel much better about everything now. I feel as if I have a team of people behind me, supporting me.  It is hard not to doubt yourself, especially when people around you are saying “oh, there is nothing wrong with him, he’s fine”. Yes he is fine, but with some intervention he can be even more ‘fine’.

So, that’s the update re Adam. He was a total enema yesterday afternoon, and I lost my cool with him. Which is really fantastic. Good mother, huh? Wonderful. But as the psychologist said, some things are due to his sensory issues, and some things are just normal two year old pain in the ass stuff. Well, she didn’t use ‘pain in the ass’, but you know what I mean. Yesterday we had a wonderful combination of both. Precious moments. NOT. Plus he headbutted me by accident. On the mouth and my teeth went through my lip. Now I have a swollen lip with a lovely scab on it. French kiss anyone?

The joys of parenting. And I want another one? I must be mad. Actually, I got a note from another one of my doctors (I seem to collect doctors as friends) who had read my blog for the first time. He emailed me to say that he has changed his mind about ever having kids after reading my blog. My kids as birth control. Yip, can see that.

Oh, and because I am a total weakling, I gave Kate her new duvet this morning. She was in heaven. Couldn’t help myself, I felt so bad that Adam was dragging his new duvet around everywhere and loving it so much.  Please pray that I haven’t just completely ruined all chances of keeping her in the cot in future. 

 

Update: As I posted this note, I got a call from the ENT to say they had a cancellation, could I come in now. So of course I did. Adam has glue ear again, which means grommets (tubes) for him. The operation is booked for next Tuesday! While he is under anaesthetic, they will check his adenoids and tonsils and if those are problematic, the doctor will remove them. Am beyond nervous. My little baby under the knife. Shudder. 

 

Comments

[Woody's Girl]

Aw, what a totally cute picture of Kate! I'm glad you went ahead and gave her the new covers - so fun, spoiling them! She clearly loves her girlie bedding.

You are so fortunate to have fantastic doctors, Tertia. It's wonderful to have professional input, affirming many of the things you already *knew* by instinct. Motherhood is a constant learning process, all the more challenging when you have two (or more!) children with different needs and personalities. I find that I have grown so much as a person, being a mom - my girls require me to stretch to better myself every day (and I mean that in the best possible way).

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you are getting a *bit* more sleep!

BTW, my DD#2 had her tonsils AND adenoids removed just last month, as they were both so large they were causing her breathing/sleeping problems. Snoring was my biggest clue, since she never had the typical telltale illness(es) usually associated with enlarged tonsils. I hope your ENT is able to determine if Adam might need surgery to help him sleep better.

Keep us posted!

XXX
Jennifer

[Bianca]

Oh Tertia - you have made her whole year!! Look at that beautiful, shining, glowing, precious face. Even if you have ruined your chances of keeping her in her cot - this photo is worth it.

Yey for all the docs and Adam - he is such a star.

XXX

[Natt]

I feel your pain with the split lip - George did the same thing with me last week, blood everywhere and a scab for a week. What is it with boys and headbutting?!!

I think you are doing a great job with Adam and the OT/Paed/ENT. Its a mums thing to worry and get as much advice as possible - I'm on first name terms with my GP now over the phone with no introductions I ring so much. I know mostly about trivial things, but every little thing can have an impact and I always want to be safe than sorry.

And Kate really does look beautiful snuggled up in her duvet!!

[char]

Hi Tertia
You are a great mom! I know sometimes people make the stupidest comments on your blog, and it must surely make you feel some level of insecurity because their opinions on parenting are sometimes so vastly different and opposed to eachother. BUT - you're the Mama! You get to decide what's best for YOU and for YOUR kids. You go, girl! Good for you, for getting all those appointments for little Adam. And just so you know, there are bunches of us who think you're one fab hip mama, and can't wait for our little babies (by some miracle!) to arrive, so we get to experience that bliss of motherhood and sitting up nights like you've had to! :o)

[e]

My son used to jump up whenever I leant over him. Needless to say, I got a few fat lips before sussing that one... And lucky I wear glasses, or it would have been black eyes as well...

[Pam]

I think the trip to the ENT is a great call - I don't think such noisy sleep is normal either. Did the dr. say anything about the huge tonsils? Friends of mine had a very noisy sleeper (she also got strep alot though) and the dr. said, when removing her tonsils, they were the biggest he'd seen. No more noisy sleeping/snoring after that.

[thrice]

The three week wait for an ENT appt isn't so bad. It will be here before you know it.

Chuck had a problem with the paed office. Would cry, sob, ugly-cry from the moment we arrived until the moment we left. I tried tried lolipops, candy, etc. nothing would calm him. Paed suggested getting him a doctor's kit. I did. And an Elmo with his own stroller. Chuck was able to use his doctor tools on Elmo, before the next appt. We took Elmo, stroller and Dr. bag to the next appt. The paed checked out Elmo first, then checked out Chuck and there wasn't a tear to be seen. Paed appts have been fine ever since.

[Liza]

Awww, look at little Kate with her duvet!

One word of advice with the ENT--if they want to take out Adam's adenoids (which two of mine have had done and it stopped them snoring so much), ask about doing the tonsils at the same time even if they don't appear to be infected. They'll most likely have to come out sometime anyway, and having had them out as an adult I can honestly say that doing so is more painful than childbirth--it's a lot less painful for kids, and I had it done the "old-fashioned" way, so with the new laser techniques, etc. I'm sure it won't be bad at all for Adam. Often they don't like to do tonsils in children under three, but I would at least ask since you'd be saving him an anesthesia (I have two with pretty severe sensory issues, and they're gigantic livestock-enemas when they've had anesthesia, WHOOOO are they horrid! Not that I blame them but god did I MENTION how AWFUL they are? Plus, you know, best for health, etc.). He really might sleep better without that extra stuff cluttering up his airway, but kids with sensory issues tend to take a lot longer to sleep through the night. I haven't offered up my opinion of what you should do about the sleep, because you're getting quite a lot of advice as is, and in the end you have to go with what the experts tell you and what you personally feel to be best and can live with. My little one with the worst sensory issues slept in the bed with me as an infant; they just seemed to need that. You also have to factor in the effect on the family as a whole, though, and what you can all healthily and happily deal with--it's far better to keep the family unit "healthy" than to give any one particular member EVERYTHING they want/need. Interpret that however you wish, but as an example one of my children was recommended for DAILY therapy at one point, and after considering the time/energy/money impact on us all I determined that it just wasn't feasible and gave myself permission not to feel bad over it. And I second the OT on the "dummy"--if a child has sensory issues then parenting them is different from a child without, and they often need some help self-regulating and calming themselves--until Adam has had enough OT and life-experience to feel less assaulted by the world I think it would be cruel and overly hard on the entire family to withdraw something that brings him such comfort--I've got one who is almost two and still has the "dummy" in the mouth 90% of the time. I don't know if that one has got the sensory stuff going on or not, but they do have a lot of unpleasant medical things going on and I think it entitles them to a little "baby vice."

[Judy]

You owe me a keyboard, when I read about your "long wait" for an appointment being only three weeks, I spewed coffee all over the place! Three weeks would be a dream come true if that's all we had to wait here!

And congrats for not only getting the 3 weeker, but getting in THAT VERY DAY and having the procedure scheduled in a week! I'll still be waiting for a call back from the nurse at that time...

[Ally]

If the tonsils are not infected but still enlarged, that's an indication that they should come out. It's normal for them to be enlarged while infected, but not when he's healthy.

For us, adenoids ended up not being a factor with snoring - it was all tonsils. Good luck - recovery from having the tonsils out can be awful but with your health care system they may not send you home as soon as they did with us. Jamie would not drink anything and it's my feeling that only nursing kept us from going back due to dehydration.

[DüneSieben]

My kids have done the tonsil/tube-thing sooo often! Even the one with the hydrocephalus. Went all well!! I'm keeping my thumbs crossed for Adam!!

[jodie]

Love that photo - Kate looks so thrilled!!!!!

Very happy about the dummy advice because it makes me feel better that my daughter with sensory issues had hers until 4. And damn did it make life easier when she had that dummy!

I nearly spewed my drink too hearing you had a 3 week wait - it would be 3 months here! And that's with the private system.

So glad you're getting Adam checked out - for him, and for your own piece of mind. I've often ben told by health professionals that you have to deal with any medical issues first, before you can start on behavioural stuff. Adam is a gorgeous boy and I'm sure life will get easier for both of you as he gets older and you all learn how to navigate his sensory issues.

[Coral]

You are doing so well!! You are a great mom!!

[Wyliekat]

I had my adenoids removed (and tubes put in) as a kid and it really helped. Prior to that, I was in the doctor's office every week with a new and special infection.

I remember being in love with the flannel deer pjs they first issued me at the hospital and being very upset when they wanted to switch it with a plain green gown, which prompted the "lovely" nurse to tell my mother I was spoiled.

Geez. It was a comfort thing, woman. Who in their right mind would prefer a plain green gown?

Anyway, I remember clinging to certain things and ideas for comfort. And it really wasn't so bad.

[Reese]

Delurking to say good luck to Adam and that you have some seriously adorable kids. :-) You're doing a great job!

[ktjrdn]

Tubes weren't much of a big deal with mine. And they helped immensely. Hope you have the same outcome.

[tess]

having grommets hasn't made jasper a better kid, but his hearing is better.

kate looks absolutely thrilled, you totally did the right thing.

if adam needs his tonsils out, please have it done. my brother (35) didn't get his done when he was a kid and suffers all the time with tonsillitis. his throat is disgusting, white with stringy gobby things stringing from the massive missile tonsils and he's constantly on pharmaceuticals which makes him cranky because it means he shouldn't drink. horrors! can you imagine condemning adam to that life?

xoxo

[goodsandwich]

You know, my friends' little one had enormous tonsils at this age too (also no infection problems), but the size alone destroyed his sleep because of breathing problems. They were stressed-out zombies for 2 1/2 years, but when the tonsils came out he magically could sleep. Not saying it's a cure-all for Adam, and the grommets may do the trick (bless that ENT), and of course your docs have already considered this as they are much smarter about these things than I. But still, it's something to consider.

Tess, GROSS! :)

[Wenchy]

Such a gorgeous picture of your girl!

[Carrie Jo]

Nothing you've said about Adam is in the least bit surprising. You totally are doing everything right. You have wonderful mothering instincts. Good job Tertia!

[Laura(southernxy)]

Kate looks THRILLED. What a cute picture.

You know, I think it doesn't hurt kids to see their kind, patient, loving mommy reach the end of her rope just every now and then. It keeps us human and teaches them that they can only push us just so far.

[Rivka]

I'll second the other mom that said to have the adenoids and tonsills come out at the same time. No reason to have to worry about putting him under a second time around that way.
Does Adam seem to gag more on gooey food, like pudding, yogurt, stuff like that? Cause when my son's tonsills were really big, gooey food like that would get caught in his throat and make him gag. He was a much better eater after the tonsills came out.

[Ginny]

Tertia, I love your blog, I read it every day, and I think you're a brilliant mom. However, I think you're over-stressing about your kids.

Please don't take this the wrong way, and do take it from someone who has been through the wars with three difficult, non-sleeping, constantly snotty, blocky-nosed,wheezing toddlers who never slept through the night, not once.

I also climbed on the endless treadmill of paediatricians, ENTs, OTs, physios, etc. Each one of my kids was hospitalised with severe bronchiolitis (one with pneumonia) and each one spent days and days in hospital, as a toddler, gasping under an oxygen tent. After that, it was five years (each) of snot, wheeze, gasp, retch, and, on one memorable occasion, six weeks of whooping cough. I was a nervous wreck.

Then the oldest turned six, and the second turned four, and it was as if the sun had come out. All snot-noses and wheezes disappeared, as if by magic. They are now sixteen (gulp!) and fourteen (blimey!) and the youngest is eight (amazing!). They never get sick. Their noses don't run. We haven't been to the GP for three years. They eat their greens. They go to bed on time, and sleep through the night. They only come into our bed about once a night (each). If you think it's bad having a toddler in your bed, try having a sobbing sixteen-year-old who has been rejected by his girlfriend and is thinking of slashing his arm with a razor to express his anger.

I'm not saying you shouldn't take your kids to be checked out by specialists. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel infuriated and maddened - and terrified! - by their various aiments. What I am saying is, don't be afraid, don't get too stressed out by this all, and don't lose your head. Keep your fantastic sense of humour. All this will pass, I promise you. In ten years' time, you're going to be reading back on this blog thinking, God, why was I so afraid?

Hope this helps.

Love, Gin

[Suzie-Q.]

Yay for Kates bedding! Good for you for doing all the right Adam stuff and {{{{Big Hugs}}} re; surgery. Hoping all goes well...
Re; head-butting, mine got me good when he was 1 and broke off a top front tooth. A year, $10,000 in dental bills and multiple surgeries (including bone grafting, implant, crowns for 3 teeth so as to match and a laminate) i finally am smiling again!
I feel your pain. Literally!
;)
xoxo

[Beth]

Tertia, so glad to hear you've had so much progress this week with doctors etc.

My youngest had tubes put in when he was wee -- he absolutely needed them, and after getting them he finally walked (couldn't before, as he was too dizzy), and talked.

[Amy]

All the best with the surgery for Adam (and YOU, gawd, have never faced hospitilization with any of my kids. TOUCHING WOOD.) Glad they will be investigating and dealing with the other issues, if need be, at that time. May as well bite the bullet and get it all over with right?

Thinking only the most positive for you and yours.

[Dondi Tiples]

Kate looks like she's in heaven. Good for her! Can the pillow and coverlet get into the cot? Maybe it'll make a good transition later from cot to big girl bed.
Meanwhile, I'll be praying for Adam. As all mothers of toddlers say (even those with sensory issues) "these things shall pass". You came through ok, I'm sure Adam will make it through with flying colors.
Take care, God bless and kisses to your wonderful kids.

[Kristin]

I agree with whoever said about getting the tonsils out. I'm 37 and I should have had mine out when I was a kid, but the doctors refused (I was in a small hick town) and I suffer from strep throat at least 4 times a year now. Also might want to get them to check for sleep apnea. If he's that restless and awake that often and that bloody noisy, he may have apnea.

Good luck with your surgery Adam! Just remember to make sure they give you lots of popsicles and ice cream if they take your tonsils :-)