When is it time to ditch the bikini?

WARNING: DRUNK POST (Owner under the influence of two (2) glasses of wine and can not be held responsible for any unintentional offense caused, and/ or any spelling / grammar errors. This includes misplaced apostrophes.)

One of my biggest fears is looking like mutton dressed up as lamb. Can’t think of anything worse. Always feel so sorry for those older women you see dressed up like teens, desperately hanging on with their false fingernails to the last scraps of their long gone youth.

Not that one has to look like a dowdy old librarian with sensible shoes (not that there is anything wrong with librarians or sensible shoes. Some of my best friends wear sensible shoes), but there comes a time where you have to admit that certain things / fashions etc are no longer appropriate.

So, about the bikini. When are you too old to wear a bikini? Or does it not have any thing to do with age? Is it more about body shape or size or taste or what? Or doesn’t any of that matter?

I bought a new bikini a few months back. I had to, the old ones were so well worn that the elastic in the pants had just about totally gone and things were gaping that shouldn’t gape in public. Not that I minded terribly but Marko wasn’t too keen on the gaping bits. Personally I found them quite damn comfy. (Sister Mel is going to come in here and tell you how bad those old bikinis were. But they were comfy! So what if I had to tie the bikini top together with a knot! I loved them!)

I’ve been wearing the new bikini because (a) I felt thin enough to wear it and (ii) I haven’t ventured out in public in it. I used to wear bikinis; back when I was thin and young and before infertility-induced middle aged spread. But lately, I’ve been feeling old and not so thin.

Up until now, I’ve resisted buying a one piece bathing costume. It seemed like the final nail in the coffin of my youth. But then I had this surprise pregnancy with the unsurprising weight gain and well, I bought a full piece costume. I just couldn’t face being in a bikini, not in public. Not now.

I intend losing the weight again. Next summer I’ll be 39 years old. I wonder whether it is time to pack away my bikini for good or doesn’t age matter? Should I just not care and remember that I am G&D, even if it is more on the inside than the outside?

Tell me, my dear friends, when is one too old to wear a bikini?

Comments

[thrice]

I don't think it has to do with age. It has to do with muffin tops, tonage, stretch marks and the like.

[SarahD]

Good question. I'd say, it's fine as long as you feel comfortable wearing it and are honest about how it looks. It's not like 1 pieces cover THAT much more, right?

Never did wear a bikini. I grew up in a v v strict "happy clapper" (as you would say) household, and that was not allowed. When I finally moved out, I tried some on, and after 20+ years of no sun on my stomach, the blinding light of my whiteness was just too hilarious! Since that attempt, I've taken to wearing tankini tops and boy-shorts so I can move around more. Sitting with your legs "just so" at the beach is v annoying.

[JenC]

My mom is 52 years old and still looks great in a bikini. I'm 34 years old and have never felt very good in a bikini, even before the twins. So, my opinion is go for it, age doesn't matter.

[victoria]

First of all, T., you're NOT old. 39 is not old. And look at it this way: you're younger today than you ever will be again so why not kick up your heels? ;-)

Second, bikinis are not synonymous with youth, or at least not for me. They're synonymous with tight tummies. (I've never been able to wear a bikini even once in my life. I associate bikinis not with "young people" but with "people who don't carry every spare milligram of fat precisely in the pouch under their navel and nowhere else," as I do.)

So if you can pull it off, more power to you! You're plenty young enough, and hot enough, to wear a bikini. Go for it. (Besides, you'll be kicking yourself in 15 years if you don't make the most of what you've got now.)

[Heather]

I agree - age has nothing to do with it. It's about your confidence level. If you're comfy, who cares? I wouldn't leave the house in anything less than a mumu if it was up to me, but DH won't have it. He thinks I look better since gaining the baby weight, etc. I've still got about 25 pounds to go before I am back to pre-pre baby weight, but I am 90% sure that will never happen due to body changes - like hip expansion. If I were to be 110 pounds again, I would look wicked sick all the time and that's just as bad as being fat, right? So yeah... Long story short, shake what'cha momma gave ya'! I'd say, judging by your photos, you're still okay in a bikini. :-)

[binkytown]

I say go to the Tankini- it's just right. Not as baring as a bikini but not as dowdy as the one piece..

[lydia]

tankini, baby, tankini. You can get them where there's a little skin showing, but not too much... still wearing a two piece but not showing all the fun bits that maybe you don't want to show, ha. Also, the little boy short bottoms are very cute, and hide the tops of the thighs (v. important for me, at least, as that is the least attractive part of my leg).

[Rhonda]

I have never, ever felt comfy in a bikini. If you can carry it off, then do it. If you don't, then not.

And there are lots of lovely non-dowdy one-pieces, so don't knock 'em if you haven't tried 'em.

[blackbird]

80.
I'm pretty sure it's 80 - unless you are uncomfortable with the way you look or feel before then.

[Summer]

I recently took a vacation to Florida and saw women of 80+ wearing bikinis. Yes, they had loose skin, but I still found myself thinking that most of them looked pretty damn good.

I don't think I'll ever stop wearing a bikini. There's too much difference between my top size and my bottom size for me to ever find a one-piece that fits and flatters.

[Laura(southernxy)]

Tertia - if you want to wear a bikini, then by gosh, wear one. We sticks-in-the-mud and overly self-conscious people can enjoy your free spirit vicariously.

[Suzie-Q.]

We all cringe when we see a guy in a tiny Speedo even if he is in shape! I live in Florida where the 80 year old women may have the bodies to pull off the bikinis, but, sometimes it's a little creepy/scary to see their faces and liver spots!!!! I generally agree with the "to hell with them" attitude, but, for the love of god... we don't want to scare other people off the beach do we?!
I, personally, have turned to the new 2 piece bathing suits that are in style that have halter tops and bottoms with little skirts covering your thighs and butt. They are really very cute, and, you can hide an awful lot under those babies (tummies, backs, thighs and ass!).

[21stCenturyMom]

If you've got the body, wear the bikini.

Kids is not a limiter - look at this (she has 3 kids)

http://www.ironman.com/thumbs.php?w=200&i=/ironmanlive/races/2007/arizona/1bc10c54e87db6bcf397f6829d52925e.jpg

[erin]

First off you are YOUNG! 39 is a great year, defiinitely one of my best! Enjoy it to the fullest. My experience with bikinis is this - I have never felt comfortable in one - not because of odd body shape or anything, I'm tall and in pretty good shape - but I DON'T TAN. At all. It's embarrassing to be so light reflective! I always felt like a glistening white whale hiding in the shade and there didn't seem to be a good reason to subject others to my freaky white glow. Years ago I actually had someone ask me if I'd been in the hospital for some time because I was so white! I have several girlfriends (we are in our late 40's) and they look great in bikinis - but they tan like goddesses. I am so jealous;) Just do it, you look great!

[Carrie Jo]

Age really has nothing to do with it. I've seen plenty of 20-somethings who have no business in a bikini. But yes, the tankini is totally the way to go. It's the perfect compromise and they're really comfy (most of the time).

[Author Mom with Dogs]

When you don't think you look good in one anymore.

[Stacey]

Tertia -- If you've got the body, go for it! In the pictures that you post of yourself, you are thin and gorgeous, so I would think you definitely have some time left to flaunt what you've got!

But, please -- for the love of God, get that Barbie one-piece off of Adam!!

;-)

Stacey

[Wenchy]

a) You look just fabulous.
b) Age has nothing to do with it.
c) When people point and laugh....mmmm re think bikini idea.

[evie]

I am almost 42 and am in the best shape I have ever been in my life. I lost about 80 lbs. last year once I got off the infertility rollercoaster. I've been doing yoga and pilates and running a lot -- (you know obsessive-compulsively to get rid of those 'I'll never have another baby' feelings) so as a result I do have a six-pack ab -- something I never had in my 20's or 30's. I so want to wear a bikini, but I have those little "twin skin" marks around my belly button from having twins and several gross scars from all the laparoscopys. So I compromise with a tight tankini that still outlines the six-pack but doesn't show the other marks. The only ones that gets to see to see my killer abs up close and personal are my kids and my husband. And they are all sick of me holding up my shirt to say "hey look at mommy's six pack!

One thing I did do was get a suit from Victoria's Secret that has the push-up bra built right in. With that puppy you can't tell I nursed twins and my boobs are shot. That suit was the best thing I ever bought.

[Judy]

Definitely not an age thing, but more of a tone issue. If you are fit and your skin isn't like an elephant's around your middle, then why the heck not? I'd love to be in a bikini this summer, but that would involve saying goodbye to about 35 pounds and quick here. And brownies. Brownies would definitely have to go. Don't know if I can say goodbye to brownies just yet.

[kay]

There ARE clothes that are not to be worn once you are out of college. However, the bikini is not one of them. Go for it!

[megan]

hmmm. . .i'm a librarian wearing three inch heels today!
go for the bikini!

[jen]

Personally I'd rather one of those all in one Victorian bathing suits that cover your arms, legs, and any other part of your anatomy other than your head. But then I am 6 months pregnant and looking it. Even a pregnancy 1-piece scares me. Erk. (My husband takes my son swimming, I refuse to go to a public pool in anything less than a tracksuit!).

If you've got it, flaunt it. I've not been able to wear a bikini since I was about 7, but my sis is only 2 years younger than me - and 2 kids down the line, she still looks a total stunner in a bikini. It's all to do with body shape, body confidence and the inbuilt ability to carry it off.

From the photos of you so far, I can't see why you can't wear a bikini. Ok so we might hate you for looking G&D in a bikini at 39, but that's our problem and it's mainly jealousy!!! Assh*le.

If you're comfortable, go for it. I wish I was/could.

[carol]

I think it's about how you FEEL AND LOOK in the bikini (or 'young people's clothes). I have never and don't think I will EVER wear a bikini and I'm 24... I wouldn't feel okay and I am not even sure I'd look okay. So if you look and feel good in it then do it...

[Bec (and Charlotte)]

I am 41, fit and fabulous and I wear a bikini. I might add it has enormous push up strength and padding but I don't care. I don't have a muffin top or stretch marks so maybe I wouldn't wear one if that was the case.

[Working From Home Today]

You're hilarious! Feel free to post drunkenly anytime.

On the bikini front, I'm afraid I can't help. I haven't worn one since high school and given my current level of fitness and this lovely northern clime, I'd only look like a marshmallow wearing band aids.

And that thought has just inspired me to have two glasses of wine of my own.

[ann (fchen)]

seriously, do you really get tipsy (drunk?) on 2 glasses of wine? are these ginormous glasses you're drinking or standard 4oz (sorry, can't do the metric conversion)? :)
ps - i think that there is a certain age that women should stop wearing bikinis, i'm just not certain what it is yet.

[rebecca]

my dads sister is 44. she's not overly thin, but she's not huge either. and she still looks great in a bikini. i don't think age has anything to do with it, but more so your comfort levels.

[Flicka]

Well, this advice may not be worth much as I am actually a librarian who is even at this moment wearing sensible shoes! But press on we must, so I have to say that I agree with the first commenter...it's more about muffin tops and ooze than about age. If you feel G&D enough to wear a bikin then girl, go do it! And post pics, please!

[Simone]

A sleek black one piece with plunging neckline (halter) is G & D. I will never wear a bikini when I can look this classy in a one piece.
Although, if you feel comfortable in a 2 piece, you be the judge....if you think you look OK then you most likely do.

[Jazz]

I have a mix and match of tankinis and bikinis. Depends if a fat day or not. HOWEVER, check out www.wholesomewear.com :-)
www.dailycandy.com says.....Crash dieting. Painful waxing. Tedious full-body sunblock application.

Getting yourself swimsuit ready can be such a drag.

No longer: The hottest suits on the beach this year leave everything to the imagination. WholesomeWear, a line of swimwear for the modest beachgoer, offers three kick-ass styles that “highlight the face, rather than the body” — ensuring all eyes are on you.

The knee-length, short-sleeve designs truly blow the lid off conventional notions of sexiness. The Culotte style with elasticized waist gives you shape without clinging; the Slimming Swimmer creates that sleek killer-whale silhouette you’ve been coveting.

[Suzie-Q.]

Just took a peek at www.wholesomewear.com and i think they should change their name to www.mormonwear.com .

[Pickel]

I just found you and I want to say that YOU ROCK. If you only lived in the Windy City! Please look up my blog and keep track of what we are doing (and of course, the fundraiser!)

Pickel

www.pickelspearls.etsy.com

[Anne]

Here in Hawaii people live in their bathing suits and age (and often size for that matter) is no reason to stop wearing a one so I say go for it. A lot of people here who wear bikinis are very active surfing or canoe paddling and while they may not have perfect bikini bodies fit is very important. My current favorite suites are by a local designer and she make something that is sorta like a tankkini, she call them apron tops (hate that name). A halter top with a little skirt hides a multitude of flaws but you can still tan your belly if you want.

not the best photo and naturally the model looks fab, but you can get the idea
http://www.honeygirlwaterwear.com/cart/view_picture.phpf_image=517&f_product_id=571

[Anne]

found a better pic
http://www.honeygirlwaterwear.com/cart/product_detail.php?f_higher_category_id=2&f_category_id=16&f_sub_category_id=&f_product_id=55

and the part I love best she's got suits for the little ones as well, really makes me wish I had a girl.

[Andy]

Don't go bagging the librarians, on our days off we do get to ditch the sensible shoes LOL ;) I can no longer wear a bikini due to a stomach that looks like a racoon on cocaine was let loose on it (ie you can hardly tell the skin from the stretchmarks). I actually prefer a one-piece now, especially as it holds your tummy in place and you can get some really nice, dare I say, sexy ones. But if you are comfy in your bikini and your friends and family don't disappear up the beach with you or start handing you a sarong - then go for it.

[akeeyu]

I say avoid the issue entirely and go nekkid.

[Overwhelmed!]

I don't think you're ever too old to wear a bikini, if you feel comfortable with your body in one!

This reminds me of the age old question...when are you too old to have long hair? I've had people tell me that I'm getting to "old" for long hair. I'm 38 years old. I don't care what others say, I love longer hair! :)

[Sister Mel]

Thank you, thank you for buying a new bikini. (Tertia keeps all clothing for at least a decade)
I think we need to be more like the European and South American women. They stroll around in just bikini bottoms, pubes sprouting out the side, boobs a-flopping and just not caring. OK, that visual is a tad nasty...yuck. But really, just don't care. Full pieces are for our fifties, I agree with the tankini girls. In fact I bought you the flippin' tankini top, a whole 33 ront! I think once you have your boobs done you will realize how good your body actually is. You are G & D. Mom actually said when in germ infested Montague, that for years she covered up because of stretch marks (your fault) and now looking at all these other women, could easily have worn a bikini.

[Boulder]

I say you keep wearing the bikini for as long as 1) you want to, or 2) until Kate looks at you and rolls her eyes with disdain. Or Adam's friends stop coming to your place to hang out. If they all want to hang out at your place, you still have it going on, and Kate will be grateful to have your gene pool.

Life is too short to worry about anyone else's opinion until the two kids have one. That is the only time to consider it.

A long way off, darling.

[Alley]

Only when you stop feeling confident and gorgeous in it. I have never had the confidence to wear one but I envy all those woman who do (even, nay especially if they're not perfect!)

Go for it and damn the man! :-)

A

[Jen]

I see people mentioning stretch marks as a reason not to wear a bikini.
I've got a MILLION stretch marks, but finally feel like I"m at a point that I CAN wear a bikini this summer.
Stretch marks be damned! :)
Go for it!

[Melissa]

As long as you feel comfortable and good in it, wear it.
I personally like the tankini.

[Stephanie]

My personal thought is that there is an age to stop wearing a bikini. But then, thinking about it while reading the comments...my sister still wears a bikini, I think, and she's 46ish. one of the few pics we have of my Oma is in a bikini, and she was in her early 50s. Both looked fab, and I wasn't put off by it at all. So I don't know.
I do know you can get some very sexy 1 pieces. i have one that's a halter, where the top is in two pieces from my navel. High legs, too, so it's not matronly at all.

[danette]

Bikini's are there to show off great figures. Sometimes they get worn by the odd shapes too, but what's the use of wearing something that shows off your worst assets?
I'm 100% for older people wearing bikini's too - given that they look good in them. But to me a young out of shape person wearing a bikini is just as bad as an older person doing so.
The only difference being that age usually causes the fat bits to be more flabby.
If you feel comfy & feel that you look good in your bikini, go for it.

[angel]

i think it has less to do with age and more to do with what one looks like... i was last bikini material when i was about 12, LOL!

[Kelly]

Last year, I bought a bikini, and decided to wear it for my husband. I am so self-concious about being seen in public in one, but my husband told me not to be modest, and to buy one. Once I got it, I got so nervous about wearing it to the beach, but I didn't want to waste the money and NOT wear it at all. So, for his birthday, I wore the bikini for him THE WHOLE DAY! Only taking it off when we left our apartment. He was amazed that I chose to wear that with nothing else on while he was in casual clothes...jeans and a t-shirt. I guess the things we do for our loved ones! I felt awkward having him stare at me all day and drool while I would be sitting on the sofa watching television or reading my paper in my bikini as if it was just my everyday wear! One thing I will say: his gazes and stares filled me with some confidence, and any woman can tell you, it feels good to know you still have it. I am only 30, and now I know that I at least look semi-good in a bikini!!