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Tertia, if you can't cook even 2 minute noodles, what do you eat?

Have you really, your entire adult life, eaten every single meal at (or from) a restaurant?

I thought you were all thrifty and didn't like to splurge on extravances. Doesn't the expense of having others prepare every single meal for you start to bother you?

peace, Tertia,

LOL you remind me of my father teasing my mother saying she could burn water when they first married (she's a great cook now, self defense, us kids would've gnawed her legs off...).

And my mother solemnly always turned to us and said, "you can't cook out the kitchen", meaning we were chained to the stove when we learned.

When I lived in Puerto Rico, the only time I left an egg on when I cooked and left the room, I came back to a charred ceiling like your rental. (crazily enough, everything else was okay, and the ceiling later flooded anyway, so no loss...) 'S Okay, not everyone can cook! Then who'd eat the food?


I set a small fire in my kitchen while trying to make iced tea. I'm happy when I can manage to boil pasta without the water all boiling away and the pasta burning on the bottom of the pot.

I guess you lost that damage deposit. I'm not going to repeat my story about cooking away Hubby's favourite spatula and melting it to the bottom of his favourite pot. It was humiliating enough the first time. A box of cereal is about the best I can manage.

Victoria, are you taking into account the cost of wasted ingredients in ruined meals and repair/replacement costs of damaged kitchens? As another non-cook, I can safely say the collateral damage in the kitchen really does add up. I don't know about where you live, but my nearby grocery store sells cooked chicken that is cheaper and tastier than if I prepared it myself.

Being a fellow non-cook, I commisserate. I have the good fortune of having a husband that was a chef for 10 years, and he has taught me a few things, like making white sauce, which I'm very proud of. Otherwise, I can do the pasta thing not too badly,
and basically most things in a box with detailed instructions are fine. Otherwise I just get my husband to direct me as to what to do. So that if it is a flop, I can blame him!
I just don't get the "passion" that some people have for cooking.
For me, the simpler the better if I have to make it, but I definitely appreciate good food made by someone else!

The pic of the burnt stove says it all. ;) Let other people cook and take charge of other parts of your life. Seems safer for all concerned!

I love how your sister says "forking easy", for some reason that makes me laugh..

I don't really know what 2minute noodles are, are they like Ramen noodles? My kids love those too..

I don't have a burnt kitchen, but I did have a potato explode in the oven. Wish I had taken a picture. I cook like you do, I know exactly how you feel.

I didn't know the latch on the oven wasn't some fancy locking the door mechanism and latched it - I now had a large ham in the oven until the oven reached over 600F and incinerated it and then cooled down. The stench was unbearable and thankfully insurance covered the cost of cleaning and de-stenching the house. I have now since learnt my lesson that I do not own a self cleaning oven. I can however cook, just don't give me new fangled thingies without manuals.

so will you at least share the recipes with us?

OMG. I thought the pic from the kitchen was a joke. V. funny.

Can you please post the recipes? Some of us would very much like to give them the college try.

A recipe you don't want, haha.

Beer Bread

Mix rogether in a disposable bread pan:

3 cups self-rising flour
4 Tablespoons sugar
1 can (12 oz) beer
4 T melted butter or oil

Bake at 350 for 1 hour. Can drizzle more melted butter on top before baking for lovely (but optional!) brownimg effect.

Homemade bread at its easiest.

Now go burn it! :D

oh i much prefer your recipe!!! i can see a woolies food shop from my kitchen window!

love that picture!

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