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I'm glad Kate and Adam are a comfort - sometimes pain is so great nothing helps, other times you just look at your living children and realize what a miracle they are.

I once read that the from a neurological perspective, the cure for grief and depression was gratitude. I've tried to focus on my children and my gratitude for their presence in my life ever since then. It really does help the hurt.

This shouldn't have happened, though. You deserve better.

I will think of you today.


Oh, this is all sounding so achingly familiar. When this happened to me I too was feeling very pregnant, nauseous and with terrible heartburn. It happens because the placenta is still growing and developing even though the fetus is no longer viable.

I too decided on a D&C. It seemed quicker and easier and meant that I could start to let it go sooner. I'm glad that they'll be running tests for you. They'll be able to tell you whether it was caused by a chromosomal abnormality (which was the case for me), which is just a piece of bad luck which can happen to anyone.

Please email if you want to chat to someone who has been through the exact same thing (it even happened at about the same day of pregnancy).

Tertia, I went through the VERY same thing in the fall. I am so sorry for your loss. I colored my hair darker, too. Lots of love to you and the family.

T - I don't check in with you (your blog) as often as I use to, life keeping me busy and life was treating you well so it has been easy to come and go. So after a long absence I'm here reading this and aching for you, and don't feel bad b/c I'm crying a little to. I wish there was a way to make this better.

I just want to hold you tight until you say "stop it." I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

big warm hugs from me T ..sore heart & lump in my throat.. :'-(
[I really hope this gets lost in the comments but I've been here too, very few people know about it. Been there in sterile purgatory hovering somewhere between my body & hell being 'scraped'. Life is a funny old thing: I got hyperfertile + Rh negative (very humorous!) the irony is heartbreaking.] thank you so much for being so inspiringly brave.

Thinking of you, T.

Best, MiM

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