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LOL- no cooking gene-just trial and error. Safest bet is in the middle
If you're sauteing/browning something (mushrooms, mince) then high heat for a short timer- turn the heaqt way down when it's browned/sauted. I personally have done lots of trial and error on this- ask my mother, she needed alkl new pans when I was a teenager. Usually I'll do on high for a couple minutes,then turn it back to a lower temp, somewhere in between.
French toast- I'd go medium or high, to quick faster. Sadly, with all these things you can't walk away- have to keep checking every half minute or so, to make sure you're getting browned, not burned. Maybe some people "know" how long they can leave it- but I certianly don't, and in my case an unwatched pan WILL burn.

Woo hoo, first poster! Riddled with errors, though, damn. Most are spelling, but this sentence should read:
"French toast- I'd go medium or high, to cook faster."
Too early to think!

It is all trial and error. Until you get more experience, just start stuff on about medium, and adjust if it is burning or cooking too slow.

French toast (eggy bread, we calls it in this house. does exactly what it says on the tin): I have a electric hob, with knobs that go up to 6. I generally cook it on 4.5 - 5. You do have to flip it often. Put the soggy eggy bread in the pan (this is where it helps to have the heat fairly high), wait till the egg sets, flip it, wait till that side sets, then continue flipping it every so often until it's brown on both sides. You don't get so much egg leaking out that way. We eat our eggy bread savoury, and to add extra B Vitamins, and taste, I usually spread each slice of bread with Marmite (replace with whatever revolting yeast based concoction you have in SA) before dipping it in egg.

Bolognese: I do this. Fry onions, garlic, etc till pale brown, then add meat. Brown meat (do NOT go on internet while this is happening!! You will regret it. It speak from experience) in pan. Add tomato, tomato puree, herbs etc... cook on lowish heat for 30-35 minutes. Put spag on to cook after 20 mins of simmering.

Mushrooms: dunno. I never touch them if I don't have to. This results from my mother trying to poison me at the age of 7.

To answer the ??:
Muchrooms: slice, pop into tin foil with some butter, salt, pepper/herbs if you like and wrap up. Hand to Marco to BBQ.
Put a dash of oil into pan, fry onions until golden brown. Remove from pot. Pop in mince and cook until drier, brown and loose bits.Add onions and other stuff.
French toast:
Depends on the thickness of the bread. Go medium heat and for a little longer, until it's brown and cooked through.

There are online cooking sites, that have a max of 3 or 4 steps...maybe try those out when you can have a glass of wine and not want to throw it..GOOD LUCK!

I think you shouldn't worry so much :) the stuff will get cooked one way or another. When in doubt, put on medium and leave while you write more blog entries for us. To check if it is done, poke around to see if it stopped moo-ing. Serve with lots of tomato sauce if all else fails.

If you really, really don't like cooking, has Marco perhaps shown any interest...

Trial and error. I finished college unable to make cook outside of a microwave. I think the biggest hurdle jumped was deciding not to care how it turned out. "I'll cook this and we'll try it and if it's gross, we'll heat a can of soup/cook something frozen." Giving myself an allowance to waste food in the name of learning to cook really helped to make it not so scary; I'm not making "dinner", I'm making "first attempt at dinner."

Another big help was getting recipes from my mother. She's very easygoing about cooking, and she explains things like they're easy. "Mix this, that and the other. It wants to be stirred [constantly/not at all/when the spirit moves you]. Cook until it looks, smells and tastes done."

Her blanket wisdom: "When it starts to burn, turn down the heat. If it's too thin, mix some water and cornstarch and add that. If it's too thick, add a little water. If it tastes bland, start sniffing spices until you find the one that smells like what you're cooking. Add a pinch of that."

Oh, bless your heart dearie. I guess cooking is something you either love or hate. I love it; I love unraveling its many mysteries. When I started my cooking sucked. But to turn out a lovely meal is a true expression of my creativity. It is an art appreciated by the eye, nose, and palate.

Shrooms - I'd cook them at a medium temp for quite a while. I assume you are cooking in butter or olive oil (I am determined to shoot every person who call it "evoo", so you are forewarned). Maybe also wine, garlic, or other flavors? The longer they cook, the more time they will have to absorb the flavors. I don't put the lid on the pan as I generally want the liquid to evaporate.

Mince - not sure what you mean by "the mince". Do you mean onions/garlic/veggies that go in the sauce? We call that "the onions and garlic and veggies that go in the sauce". Heh. I would cook this at a medium high heat longer than you think you should. The longer it cooks, the more flavorful it becomes. Browned is good. Poke at it a lot with a spatula. Then add the tomatoes "and shit" and lower the heat and cook for a long time. The longer the better. Until the texture is just right, not too watery, not too thick. You could go with the lid for this one, depending on how much liquid you started with.

French Toast - fast and high. Otherwise it is soggy and gross. I'd cook it on one side, then flip and cook the other. You shouldn't have to flip back and forth. The less you manipulate the bread, the better.

A rule of thumb: Use the lid when you want the food to absorb the liquid, such as rice. Don't use a lid when you want the liquid to evaporate and the flavors to concentrate.

Another rule of thumb: When you are cooking big things, like french toast or chicken, manipulate in the pan as little as possible. When you are cooking little things, like mince or shrooms, manipulate frequently.

Forgot to mention Jamie Oliver. He is a UK chef who took upon himself to reform the nation's (disgusting) school lunches a couple of years ago. He swears by liquidising (steamed? roasted?) veg and hiding it in the bol sauce alongside the tomatoes. Things like squash, peppers, aubergine, would work I suppose.

Mince: brown on high heat first. I then remove it into a sieve and pour boiling water through a couple of times to remove some of the fat. Fry veges on medium(onion until clear not browned, browned onions are for Indian cooking) then add mince, tomatoes, etc. Cook on low heat for the longer the better, adding water if it gets too thick. Secret ingredients are 1 tsp sugar. Make a huge amount and simmer for over an hour then freeze in portions.

French toast: I find in my "non-stick pan gone bad" that a longer time is better and only flip once.
Roast potatoes are the same, long time (40 mins) before first flip reduces sticking.

Mushrooms: I find microwaving them the easiest, knob of butter and then 1 minute, check, then more if required.

For large chunks of foodstuff (French toast, steaks, etc), the goal is to flip as infrequently as possible while still avoiding burning... that way, you get a nice, deep sear on each individual food-region before moving on to another.

Catastrophically-delicious mushrooms covered here.

I like baking french toast rather than frying slice after slice. This recipe is very good: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_36124,00.html

Allrecipes, and the NYTimes and Youtube of all things now have videos to go with recipes. My freaking life saver...I have now learned many things.

Yes, I still am a so-so cook, but am getting there.

One tiny idea? When I kept burning everything, husband told me it must be my fault for not watching. Many fights later, we called the oven repairman. Turned out the temp control was broken, and the temperature was wildly swinging 100 degrees either way from the setting.

We now have a repaired oven, and surprise, I'm a better cook! :)

Now to buy a new microwave, hehe

Did you see the article on the front page of the Web version of the New York Times how more and more married couples aren't sleeping in the same bed anymore? I look forward to your blog about why you hate sharing a bed with another grown human!

not to do with your questions, but to do with the general topic. My mother in law recently gave us a big flat bottomed cast iron type saucepan with lid. We've been using it lately to make the easiest meals - you chuck into the pot nice spices - oregano, thyme, chicken spice if you want, a bit of salt, some chopped up hard veggies - carrots, potato, sweet potato, some whole chunks of garlic, some olive oil, and some chicken pieces. if you want you can also chuck in a bit of flour, and a tiny bit of water. Mix it all up, slap the lid on, put it on high for 5 minutes, then turn it down super low, keeping the lid on the whole time, and let it cook for quite a while - say an hour. Take the lid off at the end once you're sure it's done, and let it cook for about 5 minutes on higher heat to get rid of any excess liquid. This is a really easy way of cooking things, especially making roast veg in the winter, and works really well for people like me - I am also completely deficient in the cooking gene, hate paying attention to things, and am not a natural. So if I can do this sort of recipe, so can you!

Just to let you know that you're not the only one who is crap at cooking and doesn't really enjoy it. I always wondered how my friend could make the same meal I made but hers tasted so much nicer than mine - exactly the same ingredients! But then I had a thought the other day - it is maybe a little like making a sponge cake - you have to put the ingredients together in the right order otherwise it is a flop - same ingredients but different chemistry or whatever - I guess that is what you learn from experience. The only tip I have to tell you is about mushrooms - don't wash them with water before cooking as they suck up water like a sponge and that's why you can end up with loads of water in the fry pan. Good luck.

Not so long ago, I could have burned water. I have learned how to cook mostly through trial and error and burning quite a bit. My husband is always very quick to offer 'suggestions' on how to make things better. As far as a roast, though, I would suggest a Crock Pot/Slow Cooker. Put it in with spices, cover in water, and cook until it falls apart. If you want, add potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery or whatever you want to add. Pretty easy, and hard to burn. If you cook too long, it just falls apart a little quicker.... no way to burn.

Buy a big crock pot. Put a big roast in the big crock pot. Add one cup of water over top. Add a tsp. of onion powder and 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon of salt over top of the meat. My crock pot cooks a roast on high in about 6 1/2 hours.

Optional: In the last hour of the roast cooking, add in sliced carrots and potatoes. Within seven hours, you'll have juicy meat, soft potatoes and carrots; add some sliced bread, and you're set!

My husband and I are constantly busy, so this is a favorite of ours. It has that home-cooked taste, without the home-cooked time. We also do this with pork chops. For that you only need 1 1/2 - 2 hours (depending on the amount). Basically you dump the chops in with a bunch of BBQ sauce and let it go. They come out moist and infiltrated with BBQ sauce. Buy potato salad and french bread, and you've got a filling meal.

I am totally not trying to be a smarmy asshole here--this is an honest question--but isn't this what cookbooks are for? Maybe you have had bad cookbooks in the past. Some are vastly better than others at explaining what you need to do and why. I am not a brilliant chef and I have no magical cooking gene, but I find that if I follow the instructions (recipe) things generally come out right. And usually they will tell you what heat to cook things on and that sort of thing.

I like the Cook's Illustrated cookbooks (such as The Best Recipe), but their approach is very detailed and they love to go on about all the different things they tried that *didn't* work--so I am not sure if their stuff would be good for a beginner or not. But I am sure your readers could recommend a million other good sources.

Online recipes are iffy because the quality is so uneven and the instructions aren't always very detailed.

Tertia, do you have any cookbooks you like? If not, my suggestion is to get a good basic one and follow the directions in there, they usually are pretty specific about what temperatures to use, what things should look like when they are done, etc. Following along step by step can be quite soothing too. If you are worried about making sure meat is cooked properly then a meat thermometer can be a huge help. The biggest thing to remember is, just like anything else, cooking takes practice and patience. Don't be too hard on yourself, just keep trying and eventually you'll realize you are doing it without stressing.

Here's what I tell my sister:

Mushrooms - put a bit of oil (butter, olive, canola) in the pan over medium heat (4-5). Cook and stir about with a wooden spoon until they smell like you want to eat them. Some people will say to do it on high heat, but you'r more likely to burn them.

Bolognese (which we call 'spaghetti sauce' here) - put in the mince (ground beef to us Yanks), cook on 4-5 in a large skillet. If it's in a big clump, use a wooden spoon or spatula to break it up and turn it as it cooks. The easiest thing to do is add everything else after it is already done. (Otherwise you have to watch carefully for burning again). Add tomatoes, sauce and/or spices after it's done. Heat it only long enough for everything to be hot. (You can cook it longer, but why? Again more opportunity for burning.) If you need to, you can put it down to 2 or 3, cover it and let it cook for an hour, but you have to stir it every 15 minutes or so, so that the bottom doesn't burn.

Some recipes will have you cooking bolognese for 4-5 hours, but that's for the very very authentic Italian and picky people, who are used to cooking for all day. Do what you have to do to get it more or less right and on the table. You will all be much happier.

French Toast - Again , do medium heat (4 or 5). You need to stay at the stove while they cook. Place the eggy bread in an already hot skillet. Leav it until the frist side is golden and toasty (check by lifting a corner with a spatula and peeking) when it's toasty, turn it over and do the other side. Remove from the skillet.

I hit the button too soon.

Do the best you can. Don't make it fancy. Don't let it burn. Just keep it simple.

oooh, this is so interesting to me. i think cooking is a pretty instinctual process. i think all of those voting for "trial and error" are right on the money. i also think that whether or not cooking comes naturally to you has a lot to do with what type of learner you are. i'm not an educator, but my mother is, so i think i'm influenced by her opinions on things like these. i like cooking, sometimes love it, but DO NOT do it on a regular basis b/c it's just too much bloody work. i go from eating progresso soups out of the can, to full on, full scale whole days in the kitchen, trying out recipes from my subscription to gourmet. it's all or nothing for me. and also, i'm a very end-goal oriented person. which is to say, i learn best when given the result i'm supposed to acheive and stumbling along, learning as i go, until i reach it. (i'm specifically thinking of doing things like learning new software programs. i can't stand sitting through classes on what to do but if i'm given rough guides and a project, i'll learn as i go.) i'm not all that concerned with what's right and wrong, as far as process is concerned, as long as i get to where i'm going. and i think people who like to cook may be of the same ilk... and have probably suffered through many an inedibly burnt mince in their day. i'm guessing that you may like to know the "right" way to do things as you go? perhaps starting with cooking things YOU love to eat, and trying to work with how you know they should be in terms of taste, doneness, etc. will get you over the hump of what's right to the point where you're willing to take a raw vegetable and just sort of play around with it until it becomes something edible. and i really don't mean to be irritating with these comments. i'm just thinking that with how capable and successful you seem to be in other areas of your life it may be more of a learning preference more than anything else that's preventing you from really loving to cook. or, you know, go with what jill has to say. she seems to have it pretty much on the money. good luck! :)

The answer to all of your cooking questions that you need at this time are in a book called "Now You're Cooking" by Elaine Corn. It's an amazing book for people that don't like/don't know how to cook. It seriously has instructions for french toast, frying an egg, etc. You don't have to like it, but at least you could not be as nervous about it. Trust me, I sympathize with your plight.

What the heck is "mince"?
Really. A few people above have guessed but it will drive me crazy not knowing. Do you mince (cut very very small) the "mince"? Thank you!

Oh, mince is ground beef? Huh. I pegged that one wrong. I figured it was "minced stuff", like aromatics.

And as long as we're specifying terms, all Americans are NOT Yanks!

In that case, cook it on medium till browned, drain the fat by tipping the pan up at a slant for a while (prop on your cuptowel), then add the sauce and cook till just so.

All you wonderful people who keep recommending cookbooks are so sweet, but you really have no idea what it's like to truly be a dud in the kitchen ;)

I've tried every "you CAN cook, really you can, you kitchen imbecile!" cookbook out there, and I've still managed to mangle just about everything I make, including making a sautee out of Hubby's favourite spatula. Or was that a coulis? *sigh*

I do, however, know that you should flip French Toast only once. I know this because I've watched Hubby do it lots and his French Toast is da bomb!

Hmm, if cookbooks are too difficult (although that "Now You're Cooking" one recommended above sounds perfect), maybe classes? Not gourmet classes, but around here at least there are people who do relatively simple ones (or could be paid to do them, especially one-on-one). Perhaps those who aren't cookbook types prefer to learn by doing? Much more visual and tactile, and you can ask questions.

I wonder if Rose is a good cook, and could she teach you?

Myself, I hate the "trial and error" approach because I can think of countless permutations of how to do things--so there are way too many trials and errors before I get things right!

If you can get an older version of the Betty Crocker Cookbook - say 1990 or older - they have a lot of instructions for really basic things. I don't know about the newer versions, I prefer my old faithful 1970's edition but I can work with the one I got as a wedding present in 1991. I couldn't fry chicken to save my life until I finally got smart and looked up the instructions - and followed them to the letter. I'm not a great cook by any stretch of the imagination, but I can do the basics now. I still have to look up the recipe for french toast every time though.

If you are afraid food will get burned, put it on medium heat. And to cook things that need to be flipped, eg: french toast, poke chop, you usually cook until one side is done, then flip to the other side.

Sorry you are so stressed about cooking. How do you feel about crock pot meals? toss stuff in turn on and wait till it's done. Crock pot cookbooks do tend to be pretty basic most of the time and give how long to cook things for. Also Many cooks don't sook w/o a glass of wine in hand. Quit worrying about perfect and go for good enough. Then talk to Marko ask him what he would have liked different. Try it different next time. Old cook books seem to be easier. Also look for a place that gives cooking lessons or a person! Do you have a neighbor or friend that cooks? Worst case find a good brand of frozen stuff to fall back on when you need it.

Or trade Marko something he wants to get him to cook. :)

Tertia, cooking is one of those things where you get two cooks into a room and they will have two vastly different opinions and they will both be right. There is NO absolute "right".

So, relax! It's all trial and error.

Having said that, The general rules I have learned for adding things to the pan are:
Heat oil first.
Sautee chopped aromatics (onions, garlic, ginger if appropriate) first, just until they smell nice.
Add meat and/or long-cooking vegetables next. But not seafood
Ground spices next if appropriate. Sauces too.
Delicate vegs and leafy spices (oregano, basil) last of all because otherwise they'll disappear. Shrimp and seafood counts as delicate so it gets added almost last because it cooks in a flash.

So by that rule (which has no nice acronym, sorry) this is how I would do a Bolognese: onion & garlic first if I'm bothering with it. Then I brown the meat (when I do it with meat; half the time I don't), then I add the other stuff. What is the other stuff? If you're talking fresh tomatoes, go low and slow for a long time. If you're talking stuff from a can/jar, then it's already cooked and it doesn't need more than "until it's hot". Lid on, though, otherwise it'll splatter. Plus you can turn the heat lower with the lid on. If you're adding basil and whatnot, stir it in about 5 min before you bring it to the table.

Low and slow is for soups and stews. Lid on, generally speaking. Fast and high is, in my experience, only for things that are in bite-sized pieces (e.g. stirfry). Or if you honestly want to cook the outside only and leave the inside basically raw (or for really delicate foods like shrimp or fish).

Anything cut bigger than your thumbnail will need medium heat for longer. How long? For anything that isn't meat, just cook it until you think it's edible. For meat, get a meat thermometer (you can get a carving-fork that has the meat thermometer built in--I love those!) and use it as your guide.

My family likes their french toast very moist (saturated with milk/egg batter beforehand), so I go for medium heat/long cooking french toast so it's cooked through. Fast and high is for french toast that is barely-dipped or sliced very thin. I flip it several times, but that's just me.

I can't cook mushrooms fast & high without burning them, so I go for low & slow, with a pinch of salt to help them wilt and a glug red wine. But other people like fast-cooked mushrooms.

hey tertia - to get some vegies into your kiddies without them knowing, grate up some carrot or whatever vegies you like into the mince after you brown it. then cook it all together with the sauce and it disappears into the mince and becomes impossible to detect. STEALTH VEGETABLES!!

Apparently the cooking gene skips a generation -- my Mom was a great cook -- as is my daughter. I am lucky to be able to boil water for pasta. (But am top-notch microwave warmer-upper.)

Daughter can actually eat a dish and figure out what is in it by taste then recreate it! I am quite impressed.

You're supposed to know these things because you've been taught. If no one's ever shown you how to cook, then you need to read cookbooks and watch cookery programmes.

The absolute best are Delia Smith's 'How to Cook' books.


They are designed to teach absolute beginners to cook and go through every little basic technique in minute detail. From how to boil an egg. Literally. And her recipes are so infallible I defy even you to balls them up.

I will email my infallible recipe for roast chicken in a separate email.

Amazon has James Beard's American Cookery http://www.amazon.com/James-Beards-American-Cookery-Beard/dp/0316085669/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-5282120-9555258?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173703581&sr=8-2
which gives the most basic recipes for the kitchen challenged. Do you want to know how to hard boil an egg, which shell slips right off? Or do you want to know how to make a roast seared on the outside, but medium-rare on the inside? Mushrooms, mince(chopped or ground meat)and french toast answered too. Explicit, basic instructions for the anal-ly inclined.

Really? Bolognaise sauce over french toast? Is that, um, good? Together?

I agree with "put it on medium" and then adjust, if necessary. Also, you can look for one of those cookbooks designed to teach men to cook. Very basic. That might be a start.

Or, just order takeout a lot or have others cook for you. You're nominated for a writing award--let the little people cook. ;)

When in doubt, do medium heat. Almost everything will do fine.

Here's the trick with mushrooms. If you want them soft and liquidy, put them in a cold or slightly warm pan and cook on medium low heat. If you want them browned and not floating in a pool of liquid, heat your pan up to medium or medium high, then put them in (with butter or oil, of course). They will be lovely and sauteed.

If you enjoy eating, you need to learn to cook. I don't cook for the process, I cook so I can eat wonderful tasty things. I can't imagine eating bland/processed/convenience foods all the time. That's no way to live!

No one's born knowing how to cook, it's all a learnt process. If no one's ever taught you, then you won't know how, it's as simple as that. But learning to cook basic, tasty food is not all that scary and it is possible to learn, although it's also possible that you may never really like doing it.

I'd recommend Delia Smith's Complete Cookery Course, she's very good on the absolute basics and she walks you through the steps and explains a lot of the theory but in a really understandable way. Also, if you really can't cook at all then Cooking In A Bedsit is a great primer because it's aimed at college students so it assumes no previous cooking knowledge.

Don't start with a roast unless you've got a bunch of pre-made veggies that you can just whack in the oven, getting a load of veg and meat ready at the same time is not a beginners skill. I'd start with stews, soups or something like spag bog.

Quick and easy spag bog (as spaghetti bolognaise is often known in the UK):

Chop one onion and lightly fry in some olive oil. You want to 'sweat it' over a medium to low heat until it's translucent and soft, this takes about five to ten minutes. If you want to add vegetables (mushrooms, peppers etc) add them now and cook for a further ten minutes, turning the heat up slightly. I usually leave the pan lid off unless I want a lot of liquid from the veg. If you've got lots in the pan at this point then empty it out into a bowl and turn the heat up high. Add your mince and brown it until it's all brown and crumbly.

Put the onions and other veg back into the pan and turn the heat back down to medium. Add garlic to taste and a jar of bolognaise sauce - there's whole shelves of them in the supermarket with oregano or other flavourings or you can get the fresh ones in the fridge compartment. You can use tinned or fresh tomatoes and your own mix of herbs but most of the prepared jars are fine and it's one less thing to worry about.

Stir everything together then cook on a medium to low heat for half an hour or so. Check for taste, adding extra salt, pepper, garlic or herbs as required. If it's looking a bit too dry stick some red wine in there - I know you've got some kicking around! It it's looking a bit pale add some tomato puree.

Now cook up some pasta in a big pan of boiling water. You can use fresh or dried - dried takes longer to cook but there's not a lot of difference in taste and it's a lot cheaper. It'll tell you on the packet how much you need per person, measure it out if you're not sure (I always have to and I've been cooking for years). Cook for as long as it says on the packet.

Drain pasta, put back in pan, pour sauce over pasta, stir, stick in bowls and grate cheese on top, eat with lots of nice red Italian wine.

There's a recipe with photos here:

I think one of the most important things to do with cooking is to allow yourself plenty of time, if you wait until everyone is already hungry and you're tired and stressed then it's far more likely to go wrong. With spag bog you can prepare the sauce earlier in the day, stick it in the fridge and then reheat it while you're making the pasta (pasta doesn't reheat so well, so it's best cooked fresh). Things like soup or stew can be made well in advance and in fact are often better when they're reheated.

Yeah, I forgot that most people do not make eggy bread with my homemade bricks. I need to flip it often just to tenderise it.

So, I take back what I said: no flipping flipping, OK?

If you can make french toast try this -- instead of just one slice of bread make a sandwich with cream cheese blended with berries as the filling. Just mash together a packet of cream cheese with whatever berries are fresh and good, add a splash (like a teaspoon or so) of vanilla, a couple tablespoons of sugar, and maybe a dash of cinnamon if you like that. Mix all that together and make a sandwich with it. Dip the whole sandwich in your egg stuff quickly -- I don't let it get all soaked and soggy, just coated--and fry it up (I go for a medium-high heat so the eggy bread part cooks through without burning the outside of the toast. If you have to flip it a couple of times no biggie but I usually just peek underneath to see if it looks done.) When you finish each sandwich just pop it into a warm oven on a platter while you finish frying the others. As easy as regular french toast but more fun!

Elle, that sounds perfectly delicious.

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