It was close, but my ass is much better, thank you.

 Thank you for being so concerned about my ass. You, Julie, Chantal at work and my little sister Nina are the only ones worried about my near fatal brush with severe septicaemia of the right butt cheek.  You kindly and caringly enquired about the state of my ass; Julie listened in minute detail while I described how the area went from red and weeping, to green and scabby, to blistering and flaky.  Nina offered to take photos of it and Chantal kindly agree to have a look at the wound in the office today.  Apologies to Dave and Frans who were in the office at the time. Hope the sight of my naked ass wasn’t too traumatic.

 As for the rest of those near and dear to me …..  not a word of sympathy, not an iota of concern for my affliction.  Sob. Marko in particular, has been especially uncaring. I even had to put my own ointment on my ass!!!  I nearly died, you know!! Unfeeling bastard.

 The spider infestation got a lot worse before it got better. Thank goodness you persuaded me to see a doctor.  The antibiotics started working yesterday and I can already feel the difference. On the road to recovery. Near loss of right butt cheek averted.  Crisis over. Phew. Nearly had to redo entire wardrobe to accommodate cheekless ass. 

 Will do a Rose update tomorrow.  Sorry it is late but the butt incident left me traumatised and incoherent(er).

 PS Even sister Mel, who is notoriously unsympathetic when it comes to family illness and ailments (you’d be dying and she would tell you to go take a pill and go lie down) was impressed at how serious my wound was!  (I made her look too) Tell them Mel, tell them!

 

Comments

[surviving motherhood]

Glad to hear your ass is getting better. Spider bites sounds nasty and painful but at least you got to traumatize a few people with it if nothing else. got to be worth something right?

[Dani]

"Nearly had to redo entire wardrobe to accommodate cheekless ass."

LOL! Nearly had to change my undies for that one!

I'm sorry no one was kissing your ass while you were dying. :( Poor dear.

[Jodie]

Assless is so Posh Beckham and so not in this season. Glad you got to keep yours.

[Sara]

Oh dear. You wouldn't be nearly as funny with half an ass.

[Nickie]

It sure would have given you an excuse to go around making half-assed comments though!

Glad to hear it's getting better.

[Becki]

Just so you know--if it ever came to that, I would donate part of my own ass for a transplant. I have plenty enough to share.

No "piece of ass" jokes, please...

[kerry]

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... the Oscar goes to...............you and my husband, you poor dears will have to share.I am happy that your bum is better ( as no doubt your nearest and dearest are as well, not to mention and a few close coworkers and all of us... your faithful blog groupies... lol...
I really enjoyed the write ups and the brave photograph!
Poor mortified Marco....

[Orange]

Just imagine. If you hadn't seen the doctor in time, the asshole's asshole would have had a new asshole as a neighbor. That is too much assholery by far.

[e]

I've noticed the way you switch between "arse" and "ass". Are you trying to keep us all happy at once? I think you should come right out and say whether you're an arse or an ass woman.

[projgen]

That's going to be my new insult to people: "You cheekless ass" heh

So v glad to hear your ass is intact. It's bad enough we're going to have to refer to the Great Ass Incident of 2007. Imagine if we had to refer to it as "When Tertia Lost Her Ass"