The anti blogging movement

Blogging is an absolutely enormous phenomenon and growing hourly. In fact, it is growing every second. Technorati, one of the foremost blogging tracking tools, said the following in its April 2006 report:

New blog creation continues to grow. Technorati currently tracks over 75,000 new weblogs created every day, which means that on average, a new weblog is created every second of every day - and 19.4 million bloggers (55%) are still posting 3 months after their blogs are created. That's an increase both absolute and relative terms over just 3 months ago, when only 50.5% or 13.7 million blogs were active. In other words, even though there's a reasonable amount of tire-kicking going on, blogging continues to grow as a habitual activity.

 Blogging is huge. And like any popular trend, it comes with its naysayers and critics.  Everyone loves to be a critic. The criticism levelled against blogging and those who blog are many and varied, but I want to deal with just two: The disdain aimed at the millions of ‘insignificant’ blogs on the one end of the spectrum and the ruthless condemnation of some of the more ‘popular’ blogs at the other end. 

I read a magazine article recently where the writer of the piece was bemoaning the fact that the blogging phenomenon meant that anyone who had anything to say about anything at all, could say it and say it in excruciating detail.  Suddenly everyone was a writer. The author of the piece said that it was like reading the most mundane minutiae of someone’s diary. She asked who cared what the person did yesterday or the latest, greatest achievement of their kid? There are literally thousands of bloggers out there who blog about their kids, or about the mundane details of their daily lives. Who cares about that stuff? My answer to that is: they do! The bloggers who write about the minutiae of their lives care!  And perhaps so too do their family or close friends. Or perhaps no one other than the writer herself cares.  Perhaps it is exceedingly boring to read. Perhaps it is incredibly badly written, but no one is forcing you to read. Don’t like it? Don’t agree? Not sufficiently entertained? Click away.  Why should the fact that someone is blogging about their dog / kid / knitting hobby impact your life in any way?  There is not a finite number of allocated blogs out there – these so called boring bloggers are not using up any space that could potentially be yours.  And yes there is a lot of crap on the Internet.  Which is why you have choice and subscriptions and aggregator services.  So what if only one person reads it? The worth of someone’s blog is not measured on how many readers they have.  It is measured on the value it generates for them!  And if other people find the content interesting, engaging, entertaining and worth a repeat visit, then that is just an added bonus. Remember, one person’s boring is another person’s pride.

 This kind of scathing criticism is often levelled at the so called “mommy bloggers.  Apparently mommy bloggers are boring and one-dimensional and fundamentally insignificant in the grander scheme of things. Again, my argument is: don’t like it? Click away and don’t come back.

 The whole anti mommy blogging movement is hugely interesting. Who or what is a mommy blogger anyway?  If the definition of a mommy blogger is someone who blogs about their kids, then that infers that there are shitloads of mommy bloggers out there, including those who seem to hate everything the ‘mommy blogging’ phenomenon stands for.  If you blog about topics other than your kids, are you still a mommy blogger?  It’s just a label, and doesn’t really matter, but what does interest me is how much hatred is levelled at the mommy blogger movement.  And fair enough, some of it might be deserved. Not so much the fact that these women choose to blog about their kids (don’t like it / find it boring – click away), but rather that the fact that there are some not so nice women out there; a bit of elitism here, a bit of self-adoration there, a sprinkling of the occasional narcissism. Again, don’t like it / them / their blogs: click away. Just like in any sphere of life, you will get the not so nice people and people you don’t get on with. Hopefully in real life you would choose not to associate with those people you don’t like. I would find it very odd if you would choose to have a relationship with someone you clearly hated.

 The thing that amuses me most is how much hatred there is for the mommy bloggers who seem to achieve success in either one of two ways – financially and / or in terms of popularity / readership (what the fuck does ‘popular’ mean anyway – popular in terms of what?  Who cares?)  BTW, both of which I haven’t achieved – not nearly ‘popular’ enough, am v small fry, and certainly not making a living off my blog, so this post is not about me or my blog.

 Why does it upset some people so that there are women out there who make money out of their blogs? Or whose blogs attract a large number of readers? The fact that they blog about their kids is incidental to me.  Why aren’t the mommy bloggers who have just a handful of readers or who don’t make any money out of blogging any better or worse than the bloggers who do?  Both the popular and the hardly-read bloggers blog about their kids.  What is the difference? The popular bloggers do not post more intimate details about their kids; in fact, I would argue they probably post less intimate or private details about their kids exactly because of the large number or readers they get.  With popularity come crazy stalker types and dedicated haters. If the only difference is that the one lot get paid to blog (either through that Clubmom or Alphamom thing – don’t read those so not sure how it works, or through ads on their blog or selling T-shirts / calendars / whatever), then how is that worse than the hardly read / relatively unknown of blogger?  Why is it ok for some people to blog about their kids but not others?  I’ve heard the argument that these so called ‘popular’ bloggers are “exploiting their kids for financial gain” – what a load of crap! Why is the one type of blogger “exploiting” their kids and the other not?  What is the cut off number of hits or revenue that defines the line between exploitation and simple mommy blogging?  Perhaps I am being naïve, but I don’t understand it. If there is any contempt to be levelled, it should surely be directed at the supposedly hapless consumers of whatever it is the blogger is offering rather than the person who is entrepreneurial enough to make a buck or two. 

 Look, I’ll be honest and say that I don’t read most of the popular mommy bloggers out there. Firstly because I honestly do not have time to read any more blogs than the handful I currently read, and secondly because many of the bloggers aren’t the type of people I would choose to be friends with in real life.  Nothing against them personally, but they just aren’t my cup of tea.  I do find some of them slightly annoying (just as annoying as some people probably find me), but I wouldn’t for a moment accuse them of “exploiting” their kids just because they were sharp enough to make bucks out of their blogs.  They are NOT making money out of their kids; they are making money from the fact that people choose to consume and support the stuff they write, which just happens to be about their kids.  Good luck to them. I hope it works out well for them.  Hell, imagine not having to work and making enough money to live off your blog!  What a win! I would LOVE not to have to work.

 I suppose at the end of the day it comes down to personal taste.  It is highly unlikely that I am going to find the majority of the 57 million blogs out there sufficiently interesting / entertaining / acceptable in terms of my own internal standards to even want to know about, never mind read. But that doesn’t mean that anyone who wants to blog shouldn’t blog; or do with their blog whatever it is they want to do.  If they are popular enough to attract many readers, good for them.  . If no one other than their mother reads their blog, then that is just fine too. And if they manage to make a few bucks out of their blog along the way, then aren’t they the clever ones. Good luck to them.

 Live and let live. And if you don’t like it, just look away.

Some more blogging info here and here.

Comments

[Essi]

I blog to take the piss out of myself and to give my friends and family a good laugh.....And everyone else can kiss my terribly sexy, yet poorly written arse!

[MsShad]

Under no circumstances is my blogging about my dogs boring.

Absolutely impossible.

I blog in order to remember later on. How I wish I had had blogging available when my son was born 25 years ago. I'd LOVE a record of his special moments.

[anne nahm]

I think a good deal of people are very reactive to the idea of mothers being anything but warm, caring, and devoted to their own children. Doing that and nothing more, day and night.

Realistically, most of us know mothers are flawed and multifaceted humans doing things other than mothering.

However, on a gut level, the shards of our own long-gone childhoods scream out when we see moms doing non-mom things. Women who are just minding their own business, doing human things often gets smacked in the face with the strong emotional reaction of people who expect them to be fufilling the Maddonna image.

Unless, of course, the woman is doing something that *I* think makes her a bad mom. Then she is just dead wrong and deserves punishment. Ha!

[Aurelia]

I am sooo with you. How is this any different than Erma Bombeck, or any of the 1000's of MSM depictions of kids and parenting? Only because we actually portray life as it is, not sugar coated and filled with BS for mass consumption. On our blogs, sad things happen, real people die, get divorced, and go through illnesses. We get to share lots of happy things, but a happy ending isn't always perfectly guaranteed in 60 minutes or less.

I do find it odd that people hate others for having even a tiny bit of money. Some of us have money, and some of us don't. It doesn't always mean a better outcome for IF or miscarriage, much as we'd like to think it would. For some illnesses it may, but I've met wealthy couples who have gone through endless IVF and never succeeded. Yet, I've met other couples at the low end of the spectrum economically who manage to have healthy children simply by chance, or because they happened to meet a certain doctor, or live near a certain hospital with the right NICU facilities.

We all do the best we can, and throwing darts at each other doesn't help one tiny bit.

[Brooklyn Girl]

Amen, sister. I don't get the vitriol directed at some bloggers--and mommy bloggers in particular.

I blog for myself through blogging, I somewhat unexpectedly found a community of (mostly) women whose lives I enjoy reading about and who help me feel less alone with the struggles in my own life.

Yes, I navel gaze. Yes, I obsess about the minutae of my own life--that's why the blog's there. As far as I know, though, I don't actually compell anyone to read it....

[Jenn]

So with you. I hate when people talk about "exploitation" because you talk about your kids and may even post their pictures. Do people know what real exploitation is? I think we love to use hyperbole in language, and this is just one example. This whole "privacy" movement irks me to know end. Like privacy is the most important thing in the world. They got rid of picture taking day at my kid's swimming lessons to protect the privacy of the other children. What???? I just think there are weirdo people on the Internet just like there are weirdo people in real life -- and by talking about your family or posting your pictures, or my placing ads that earn you cash -- what do people think is going to happen? I mean realistically -- not in a paranoid sense. I think you open yourself up to some nasty comments -- but realistically, little else. And while on one level I find trolls amusing, I do wonder what makes them post what they do?

[karyn]

I use my blog as more of a personal diary. I used to keep a journal, but somewhere around my second degree my writing turned to shite (I blame it on my fast talking professors). Now that I type more quickly and more clearly than I write, I like to keep a record of my thoughts on the computer. Blogging was the easiest way to set that up.

And yes, I write about my kids. I don't use real names, I don't use photos, I don't blog for money. I just do it for a way to write, mull over, and remember. And while it is likely not interesting to anyone else, that's okay. I think if I had lots of readers I might be less forthcoming, and seeing as it is a place where I can write about all the crappy moments and days, I want to be able to keep thinking out loud there.

Only two people in my real life know about the blog, and I don't think that they read it anyway.

I agree with what you have written, T. Who cares who reads what, who is "popular", and what people write? I have checked out many blogs. Some I check daily to see if they have updated, some weekly, some every couple of months, some I don't go back to at all.

Reading "mommy blogs" has made me want to be a better writer. They have made me realize I am not alone in this weird world of parenting. They have been so helpful to me at my lowest moments, and entertaining at my highest.

[baggage]

I love blogging. Not only because it makes me feel better about things in life, but because it is a great way to record down what I'm thinking and doing. Sure, I could do it in a diary and stick it under my pillowcase, but through blogging I've met some really nice people and am able to get responses to some of my thoughts..even if the responses are "wow..that is a huge mistake."

Seriously, with that many blogs in the world, it is easier just to move on if you don't like what you see. Why not? If I stood on the sidewalk and told you about my life was you passed by, you could stop and listen or you could roll your eyes and keep going. Either one is fine with me. It's the same with blogging. And if someone paid me to wear a t-shirt with their company on it as I stood on the street, you could still keep walking or talk to me. It makes no difference.

[houstonmacbro]

well, as usual big money is moving into blogging and if it can't sell, they denounce it.

keep blogging about whatever you feel you have to say.

[margalit]

I believe that the big detractors (trainwrecks, VA, etc.) are people that have some mega problems of their own, and need to pick on the blogs that are successful, popular and earning money so that they can boost up their own self-esteem for their crappy blogs. Let's face it, most of the blogs (and I'd include mine) are boring to everyone but a small subset of readers. My content can't be interesting to people who have bad feelings about teenagers, single moms, and disabled people, for example. Why would it be? That's what I write about. Oh, and local political stuff.

My hit count isn't as important to me as the community I'm building with other bloggers. Plenty of very 'influential' bloggers hate me and I hate them. So what? It's natural that everyone isn't going to get along when there are millions of us doing the same thing.

I think many of the new blogs die quickly. There are tons that appear and they stop being updated within weeks. I don't think the technorati count is even remotely accurate. I have several dead blogs out there, for example, that I've never bothered to kill off. Some still get hits even though I stopped posting months and months ago! I would guess that many bloggers have a sandbox blog for practicing their html and design skills, or for keeping private stuff for friends only.

Interesting thing about blog money. Club Mom recently fired some bloggers and halved the pay of most of the other ones. It's a goner site...too hard to navigate and boring content. They paid one person $1K month to introduce new info on the other blogs and she doesn't even TRY to keep up. How she hasn't been fired is beyond me. Professional blogging is a JOB. I do it on 2 other sites. I have quotas and I have content that is acceptable. If I screw up, I'm outta there. Just like any other job. I think bloggers that are being paid are seeing that they have to do what the company wants them to do, and that's sort of anti_blogging, but that's how it goes!

[Clarie]

I don’t support the unchallenged right to publish stupid, racist, bigoted, ignorant blogs. They should not be ‘ignored’. Words are very powerful, surely if you think your writing is worthwhile enough to flash to the entire world – then you’re robust enough to endure negative comments or critique? Of course if goes both ways, compassion, tact, diplomacy are very good too, I can’t abide the flaming and bitching.

I also get a bit ‘ho hum’ about ads. I feel that a good blog is a blog written with complete honesty (isn’t that the ideal form?) Blogs with ads obviously have an agenda. They want me to buy whatever it is they’re advertising – maybe they even want me to feel a certain way, so I’m more inclined to buy whatever it is, sometimes when a blogger (with ads) writes something topical or inflammatory I think they’re being disingenuous, but hey I don’t blog – what do I know?

[Jenn]

After years of infertility I still can't believed I've become a paid "mommyblogger". I totally agree with you though, don't like it, don't read it.

[Kirsty]

A lot of the criticism of mommy bloggers that I've seen has been from men and the sexism has been thinly veiled at best. One dominant attitude seems to be 'these women are just writing about their kids and their homes and their lives and obviously that's completely unimportant and boring - why don't they engage with the real issues'. I actually think that real women telling the truth about their lives can be a radical thing. Of course a lot of the mommy blogs are boring but like Tertia said, if that's the case you just walk on by. Unless you're in certain sections of the media, no one is sitting you down for 8 hours a day making you read them.

I really don't understand why people complain about lots of blogs being boring - it's not as if we're paying for them. Unlike many other forms of entertainment, you haven't usually paid anything to read them. There's no license fee, no subscription or cover price and generally, vast sums of public and private money haven't been spent making blogs happen. So apart from the small amount that you've spent on electricity and your internet connection, blogs are pretty much free entertainment. The person writing the blog has probably spent more on it than you have and even their hosting fees are probably minimal unless they're incredibly popular.

So why bitch about it? I just don't get it.

My blog is probably read by about 40 - 50 people tops. Occasionally I'll get linked somewhere and I'll get more. But I don't blog to get readers and most of the time I don't consider myself a writer. I blog to remember my life. Sure, I could do that in a private journal and for some stuff I do, but I like the sense of community and the conversations that occur whilst blogging. Quite a few of the people who read my journal are people I know in real life, while others are friends of friends or complete strangers. A couple of people that I met through blogging have become real life friends. So to me it's mostly a social thing with a bit of 'here's my life' thrown in. It's also a good way to find out what's going on. I tend to get my news far quickly through blogs than through the mainstream media.

[Kirsty]

Another thing: I think that blogging can really encourage activism. I've seen a huge amount of charity work happening in blogging circles and a lot of it has been for small scale projects or charities that wouldn't stand a hope of getting recognition in the mainstream media.

There's also a lot of radical information exchange. I've found out about tons of things that never make it into the mainstream media, not because they aren't important but because they're just not the sort of stories that the MSM is interested in reporting. Sometimes that's radical or fringe stuff, sometimes it's good news stories, sometimes it's just funny stuff from the other side of the world that I wouldn't otherwise see.

Also, I find that I'm much more likely to read a real person's account of their life than I would an article in a newspaper. If there was a column about South Africa in my newspaper or an item on the TV, I might read it or I might not bother. But I'm always interested in what Tertia says about SA because I have an existing relationship with Tertia. I know about her kids, I know what she looks like and quite a few of her opinions. So when she tells me about SA I listen and I become better educated because of it. Of course, Tertia's view of SA is not the only one and I'd be foolish to rely on just her view if I was trying to form a coherent view of the place but it gives me a little slice of understanding at least.

[Egg Donor]

I agree with MsShad - my blog about my dogs is absolutely fascinating. To everyone. Living and dead (yeah, it's so good that I'm certain ghosts read it, too).

I have so many blogs that I don't even know how many there are - a dozen maybe? 15? Some of them are completely private. I have one where I logged all the food I ate (and it helped me lose 20 pounds). No one reads that. Most of them are read by no one except me, and that's fine. I use them as a journal I can write in and read back any time from anywhere.

Of course, the egg donation blog is read by a lot of people (if I'd ever get motivated and post again, it would be read by more).

But the dog blog. No one can resist it. It's that good. Way better than yours, Tertia. Way better.

;)

[Beth]

I just started blogging a couple of months ago. I don't do it for others (or I try not to). I do it for piece of mind. So that my stress is out there instead of being locked up inside of me.
There have been good aspects to blogging. My mom who lives on the other side of the country says she feels tuned into my family by simply reading my blog. She feels closer to my boys and she feels closer to me.
I don't care about the critics, screw 'em.
I just know that blogging has opened up a new and better world for me and it has brought my family together in ways I never expected.

[Judy]

Amen, sistah.

I started my blog almost 2 years ago after my second son was born. We moved away from family, which was a huge adjustment, and the blogging idea just helped to smooth over the gap a little. Anyway, that's what mine is for - family and friends.

And, I don't have a problem with people who use their blogs for other reasons. That's called freedom of speech. A wonderful, beautiful thing. Like you, if it is something I don't like, I don't read it, and I hope people do the same with mine.

[K]

i blog because i live far from home. that's all. i am not a writer and don't try to be. but my blog isn't private, either. if someone enjoys reading my blog, cool. if not, then they should feel free to move along. that's what i do!

[e]

Hear Hear!

*clicks away*

;)

[marta]

I do think that some of those mommy bloggers are manipulating their kids lives: some of the things they are sharing with the whole internet are quite embarrassing/private, and I feel some bloggers are too eager to have an audience, and willing to explain 'whatever' about their kids in order to get hits. The bussiness aspect aggravates this.

I see it as the papparazzi phenomenon: if you sell your life and pictures to magazines, and you become a public person, you inevitably lose privacity and become a target for criticism. An adult can accept this knowingly, but I don't think they should expose their kids to that.

Personally, I wouldn't post about my toddler first enema to get some bucks.

[Chickenpig]

I don't care what people say, mommyblogs, and hobby blogs, and pet blogs all perform a valuable service. I'm a mother of twins who can't get out very much, who doesn't have a job to go back to, and whose friends have been scattered to the four winds. There are times where I would feel totally alone and isolated without the blogosphere. And that isn't even as important as the support I found while suffering through years of IF, surgery, and a miscarriage. How would I find people I could relate to in person? Walking down the street pushing a double carriage with a placard around my neck "Hey, I'm a mother of twins conceived after years of infertility, want to chat?" All I can say is, thank whomever I found your blog, and the others I read, I'd have lost my sanity years ago without them.

[SCY]

Ultimately each and every person has a choice - read or don't read. It is really that simple... one chooses to read the blogs one likes or not...

Nuff said! ;)

[Ellen]

The ironic thing is (am I using "ironic" correctly here? I am always screwing that up) that while I can easily stop reading the blogs that annoy me, I find it hard to "just look away" from the blog critics. It's one of those uncomfortable things that I've realized about myself recently-- I'm drawn to blog drama. ("Hello, I'm Ellen. And I am drawn to blog drama.") Even if it's to defend a blogger I like from the vultures, I still feel slightly icky after getting involved-- or even reading it. It's my own fault. I don't have to read it, I don't have to go there. I CAN just look away.

More and more in life, I'm just realizing that life is simply too short to wallow around in negativity and criticism. It's easy to do at the time, and makes you feel that you are just a tad better than Mrs. X, but in the end, you really are the person who loses out. Every time you wallow, it affects who you are-- your soul, your friendships, your innocence-- and before you know it, your heart is in a big stinky muddy pit.

You know, I don't know that I wrote this rambling comment as much for your post, than just for myself. Thanks.

[spit]

I read all sorts of blogs, and enjoy them, to hell with the "naysayers".

[jenny]

I don't understand people who hate on other bloggers. Just don't read them, a blog is so easy to ignore - why read ones that you hate?
You are one of the few bloggers with children who I read. I think I prefer to stick to formally infertile "mommy bloggers" so as not to get sideswiped with the ease of fertility that some people are blessed with.

p.s. - any word on how to get a password for Karen's blog? I do miss her and little Maya. I am so sad that she was the victom of a hate site, the comments people made were worse then what the site itself said.

[Kirsty]

p.s. - any word on how to get a password for Karen's blog? I do miss her and little Maya. I am so sad that she was the victom of a hate site, the comments people made were worse then what the site itself said.

Oh, is that what's been going on with Karen's blog. I've been getting a password locked message and been completely baffled by it. It sucks that she would get hated on.

[Lala]

AFAIK Karen is taking down her site and the password is in place until she copies her archives then *poof* gone for good.

[Manuela]

Brava, Tertia. You know I have your back on this one.

I think the only thing that is hated more than select bloggers by some of those trash-blog sites, is the COMMENTERS on said site. After one of those sites tried to take a run at me I've vowed never to go back... EVER. No matter how many hits I see from their site, I will not dignify a place that is based solely on the notion of disrespect. Anyhow, as I started to say, I've seen them attack bloggers in the past, and then when a certain thread would run out of steam or support, they'd switch to attacking the people who comment on the blog instead. It's all just so sadly desparate. Particularly since the people who frequent these sites go out of their way to hide their true identities. There isn't even any integrity behind their attacks, you know?

BAH! I'm so done even thinking about them anymore.

[Shandra]

I dunno. I like blogs - reading them and blogging some myself. I really do. I like the people I've 'met' (or in some cases met) that way and I love reading about details of people's lives and how they express them. I read blogs that speak to me in some way and ignore the rest.

At the same time, I think criticism is fine and appropriate for things that are placed in the public arena. I don't mean people have to enjoy rude comments on their blogs (delete or ban is fine with me). What I mean that if people are talking about blogging or mommy blogging or whatever in general and levelling general criticism - that's fair. I may not agree with them, but I think it's how things work when they are made public.

I may have developed a bit of a tough skin on this 'cause of being a professional writer but - the thing is, some people are not going to like /whatever/ and part of putting it out there is dealing with that.

I think writing back is just as appropriate, so props to you.

[Kez]

Karen's (Naked Ovary) last post was that she was winding the blog up - not because of any bad thing that had happened, but because she felt that she had said all she wanted to say. The site was password protected the next day for her, so she can organise her archives, and then it will be taken down for good.

It's a happy ending folks - she has her adorable Maya at last, and is riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after.

[Becki]

I am, by sheer good luck, one of the ClubMom bloggers who makes a few shekels off my writing. I had no idea I was so reviled! It almost makes me feel important.

I agree with you, Tertia: nothing is easier than ignoring a blog you don't care for. Why not live and let live?

[Paige]

Tertia,
You must understand that critics are writers just like you. You say if they don't like your blog don't read it. I say, if you don't like their comments, don't read them. Critics do provide interesting social commentary and they are not going to go away. I know when I wrote a book I got some positive and some negative criticism, but I didn't tell all the negative critics to just not read my book. They had a right to read it and comment.

[Purple_Kangaroo]

"Boring and one-dimensional and fundamentally insignificant in the grander scheme of things" . . . yep, that's me. Don't know why people keep reading, but for some strange reason a few do.

Excellent post; thank you for it.

[angel]

heh heh... i blog because i love being the centre of attention- and because i just know my life with my son is fabulously interesting and everyone can learn from me!
mwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!
comments, comments, comments... gimme comments!!!