Blech. It really sucks being the new kid. I don’t know anybody; nothing seems to work, I
have no idea how to use the systems that are working (I only managed to figure out the phone system at 4pm yesterday!)…..
woe is me.
For 90% of the
150 people who transferred across to IBM, things have gone smoothly. It was an easy transition: you went from being a domino developer at the
old company to a domino developer in IBM. 90% of the staff still report into their same
boss and work at the same desk in the same building. (IBM has taken over the lease of our building
as there are more of us from the old company than there were IBM’er in the
region). Easy. Life goes on pretty much as it was before,
albeit with a few process changes and a new emblem on the door. However, for a handful of us who were in
non-technical roles like Sales and Marketing, the swap across wasn’t as
straightforward.
IBM is a lot more
complex and process driven than my old company. Understandably so. With 350,000
people across the globe, you have to be process driven and it is impossible to
escape some degree of complexity and yes, even bureaucracy. One can’t really argue against it too much;
they clearly are a very successful company. And they have done this type of transition
many times over.
Still. It still sucks being the new kid.
I am one of a
handful of people whose life has changed completely by the move across to IBM.
I have a completely new role, a new reporting line, and a new office location. And I don’t know how anything works. I felt like crying at the office yesterday,
but I thought I better not cry at my first day at work. They would think I was a total fruit cake /
baby. (I think I might be hormonal though, I am not normally such a big baby)
It’s just little
things: like accessing certain systems,
understanding how the telephone system works, getting assigned an extension and
PIN number …. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure IBM has an excellent orientation
programme, I am just an anomaly in terms of role change / remote location /
cost centre allocation / general gorgeous and divineness. Although I don’t feel particularly G&D at
all at the moment. Instead I feel very
spare part’ish and very lost. And to top
it all, it is IBM’s financial year end, so everyone is understandably snowed
under with targets and deadlines. I hate
bothering them to ask things like “excuse me, would you mind showing me where
the internal mail goes”. Sigh.
But! It will get better. Of course it will. I just hate not being on top of everything. I hate not knowing how everything works. But as Marko reminded me, I felt the same way
when I joined this last organization five years ago. My first time in IT. I was just as frustrated
and lost then.
In the meantime,
I’ll just battle along bravely and do my best not to cry in front of my new colleagues.
It is going to be a big enough shock to
them once the real Tertia comes out. (A “fuck” slipped out quietly yesterday,
hope no one heard. Better than a 'fart' slipping out, I suppose.)
a fart you could blame on someone else tho I mean the new kid wouldn't fart so early on.
Sorry you are feeling fragile I hope things settle down real quick and your back to being a G&D desk jockey in no time :)
Posted by: Jen | 13 December 2006 at 06:40 AM
Aw :( I'm doing temp work now so it's like a new job every week. I feel for you. :( You'll be gorgeous soon enough and your new co-workers will say. "Hey where's this lady been for the last five years!?!?!?"
Posted by: Cristy | 13 December 2006 at 06:41 AM
Shame Tersh - that's horrid. I know that feeling well. You will become number 1 gorgeous and divine employee VERY soon. Promise. Love you. Hang in there.
Posted by: Bee | 13 December 2006 at 09:09 AM
Oh God Tertia, I SO hear you. I just started a new job two months ago, and am STILL trying to figure out how things work. It DOES get better, though. I promise. Why now I only want to cry about once/day! That's real progress.
Posted by: Sara | 13 December 2006 at 10:40 AM
OMG, what are they going to do when they find out that not only are you G&D, but that you are a famous author, and that you have one of the most well read blogs on the internet...
Posted by: Louise M | 13 December 2006 at 11:08 AM
Change, even good change, is hard. Hang in there, you'll have them eating out of your G&D hand in no time!
Posted by: Robin from TLOL | 13 December 2006 at 02:33 PM
I feel for you! Hang in there and pray for silent farts...at least for a little while longer.
Posted by: Judy | 13 December 2006 at 02:44 PM
Being the new kid sure sucks! BUT remember that soon enough you will be the old kid on the block and any new kids will adore and look up to your G&D self... As they say - this too shall pass! Take care and enjoy the challenge :)
Posted by: SCY | 13 December 2006 at 03:07 PM
Awww hon. Sending smooches - being the new kid totally sucks. Hope that it all settles down in time for you to relax for Crimbo. Just make sure you don't eat beans for dinner ;)
Just think - it could be 10x worse - you could be one of those 90% developing in Domino ;) Bwhahahahhahahaha!!
[I used to work/PM/develop a system developed in Domino. No dissing your wonderful company, but.... ARRRRRGH!]
Posted by: Jen | 13 December 2006 at 03:56 PM
Hang in there, Tertia. It'll get better.
Posted by: victoria | 13 December 2006 at 05:09 PM
Just think of all you've been through- this is only a blip, right? Just say that over and over until it's really over or you truly believe it! ;) On another note, does anyone know what's going on with the Ovary's site? I can't get on anymore...need a password?
Posted by: Jen | 13 December 2006 at 05:36 PM
Well, the good news it that usually when you start a new gig they don't expect much from you, so, consider it a vacation of sorts!
Posted by: Suzie-Q. | 13 December 2006 at 06:42 PM
I think it's the "little" things like not knowing how to use the phones or the internal mail that are the absolute worst. They're things you will assume you will be able to do, you'll think "I'll just pop this in the internal mail for so-and-so" then suddenly there's s screeching of mental brakes as you come up against the giant brick wall of "how the fuck do I do that?".
Moving from the UK to the US it has always been the supposedly little details that made me feel like a complete fish out of water and make the prospect of running home to mummy and daddy and a much less well paid career seem a little more pleasant. Things like getting contraception, I assumed it would be easy: call doctor, see doctor next week or so, get prescription. Nooooo, I had to make an appointment for THREE MONTHS away because it wasn't "urgent". Finding a mending kit: went to department store, asked for haberdashery department, got blank look, explained what haberdashery is, got further blank look, left store. Tried craft store: lots of embroidery thread and sewing supplies, no handy mending kit. Gave up and called my auntie, who told me what type of store to look in.
I didn't know what brand of anything was the "good" brand, or the one I'd like, food shopping was full of "wait, I can't get xxxx here?" moments. Not to mention NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND GOOD CHEESE FOR TWO YEARS (until someone told me about the non mainstream supermarkets).
Posted by: Rosemary Grace | 13 December 2006 at 07:59 PM
I hear your frustrations - have been there and done that(yes, it does get better, eventually and before you know it you are part of the furniture). You have a beautiful blog!
Posted by: NMOTB | 13 December 2006 at 10:30 PM
Maybe this website will be your "way out" of having to deal with the change. I know how stressful they are...
BTW - what happened with Karen? We miss her...
Love, K
Posted by: K | 13 December 2006 at 11:36 PM
Far better to be the new woman who swears than the new woman who's always letting farts slip out. You'd totally get a horrible nickname for that. Ms. McStinky. Assy McBurble. Tertiass. "Beans" Albertyn.
Posted by: Orange | 14 December 2006 at 03:52 AM
I went to look on Karen's site and it's password protected now? Is she completely privatizing her life? Tell her I'm sad to hear it, but understand if you would please. I'll miss her and little Maya
Posted by: Cristy | 14 December 2006 at 06:59 AM
hey t.
please find out if karen over at NO is ok...and if internet common folk are allowed to receive a password.
and send our support
and kick any nasty flaming trolls
thanks
queermom
Posted by: queermom | 14 December 2006 at 07:46 AM
I cried at work the other day. Same job, which I love, but boss is teaching me new stuff and my brain was melting.
It will get better, it always does and then you laugh at how nervous you were back then.
I've been mia (due to aforementioned new work stuff) what's up with Karen?
Posted by: spit | 14 December 2006 at 07:57 PM
Karen is fine. She just decided to close down her blog and password protected it long enough to do something with it (I forget what but she mentioned it on her last unprotected blog entry.) I think she mentioned perhaps starting another blog at another time...
(just a longtime blog reader of hers...maybe the G & D Tertia knows more.)
Posted by: connie | 14 December 2006 at 08:50 PM