If possible, do you think you could you poo at home?

I work in an open plan office environment. It’s not quite the cubicle maze / Dilbert-type set-up, but it’s open.  And I share it with quite a few people.

Which causes me great amounts of distress at times. Like this morning. At 10am someone decided to have fish for breakfast / brunch / early lunch.  Fish! A big plate of stinky fish! I do not want to have to breathe in stinky fish fumes at 10am in the morning.  I know it’s selfish (shellfish – hahaha!) but I hate it when people eat stinky food at work.  And even worse! When they heat up their stinky food in the communal microwave and I have to put my food in there afterwards – fish flavoured warm milk! Gross.

 And while we are at it, how about stinky poos in the work loo?  I know that if you gotta go, you gotta go, but can’t we have an arrangement where as a rule, poos are done at home, unless there is an emergency?  Even worse than the fishy air pollution is being practically asphyxiated with someone else’s poo fumes while trying to pee.  I try not to breathe in, but it is damn difficult to pee and hold my breath at the same time. Please people, poo at home!

 It is hard enough to deal with rush hour traffic, noisy offices and work pressures, but it is the smell pollution that really spoils my day. 

Comments

[jenny]

We actually had so many complaints about stinky food smells in the microwave that they forced people to go down to the cafeteria for anything like popcorn or fish. They said the communal microwave was only for heating up things like water for tea or a muffin, not for cooking food. Stinky fish in the microwave sounds like a universal problem!

As for the poo at work, I avoid it at all costs. Ughhh, I hate it when you go in and someone is shamelessly pooing. At least try to find a remote bathroom if you have to do it.

[Tory]

The problem here is people not flushing properly. As in, they don't make sure everything is... ah... completely gone down the drain. So the next person comes in to... um... floaters, and brown water. Yeah.

[jennifer]

I'll add this to the list - people who poo and then empty the entire can of air freshener in a vain attempt to mask the smell. All you end up with is floral poo smell that lasts far longer and gags and chokes you far worse than plain poo smell.

[Ellen]

I totally do not understand the Work Poo. But then, I didn't understand why those infernal breastfeeding working women had to hog the bathroom three times a day for a half an hour with their pumping... until I became one of them. Then I was like, "Anybody wanna MESS with me and question my right to the bathroom?! Huh?! Huh?! Nah, didn't think so. Hummph." But in all honesty, I never did a Work Poo.

[Orange]

I once worked with a woman who stunk. The smell was bearable if you were just passing by her desk and didn't inhale, but if you went in the loo within a half hour after she'd gone in, the smell was unholy. It was beyond poo stink—more like the gaping gates of hell had unleashed the funk of moldy flesh, crotch rot, and unwashed asscrack, with a soupçon of poo stink as the piece de resistance. It was not possible to use that bathroom right after her, no matter how full your bladder was. You'd go downstairs or you'd just come back later.

[daysgoby]

Orange - I don't know where you live, but that woman? Has been my boss.
And the worst thing about it?
She didn't like aerosols (she was pseudo-crunchy-when-it-was-convenient) so we had some sort of lime oil squirt crap that if you sprayed more than 1/2 a squirt would perfume the ENTIRE office for hours. And it didn't cover the smell. So the ENTIRE office smelled like lime-scented stinky-poo-woman.

I agree. GO HOME.

[Liza]

Absolutely! I work in an open-plan office, and someone came and re-heated and ate a greasy fried fish sandwich on their (early, still morning by my standards) lunch, and THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT!
And the pooing? Fortunately my office possesses a rather remote, private bath located far away in the on-site child care's nursing center, where one can go to make such deposits, although even that is prone to abuse: the nurse kept having people come by and take her personal magazines off of her desk and in with them for a poo, and of course who in the world wants THAT magazine back? She has started putting her magazines away in her file cabinet and leaving pamphlets on hygeine-related subjects in the "loo" as a public service/punitive measure. I know this because she and I are friendly--I myself live across the street and have never had an emergency so dire that I could not wait until my break and go home to conduct such business.
And might I just add in a plea (in this most public of forums) for a world-wide cease-fire in the area of seat-sprinkling? For crying out loud, employers and businesspersons, keep your toilets clean enough that people aren't afraid to sit. And ladies? Unless there is visible reason not to, you have got to start trusting enough to just sit DOWN. One sprayer ruins it for everyone, and there is nothing so unpleasant as sitting down in warm droplets of someone else's pee (unless it's trying to take a potty-training, seat-clutching toddler to the bathroom and finding the seat thusly bedecked), so of course any violation of the cease-fire could make everyone gun-shy and jeopardize the entire undertaking. Seriously, we should pick a day for this, arm ourselves with purse-packs of Clorox wipes, and go forth and change the world. WHO IS WITH ME???

[wookie]

I'm all for common courtesy, but do you guys have germ-phobias or something? Because this seems a bit on the irrational side.

Everybody poops. Everybody farts. I can see your point about stinky food in the microwave, and also feel that if you sprinkle when you tinkle, you need to wipe the seat down afterwards. And I do feel it is inconsiderate to everyone you meet if you do not follow basic hygiene like bathing and brushing your teeth, especially in an office environment. Taking public copies of magazines or newspapers in with you? Eww. Please bring your own reading material.

But everybody poops. Some people with conditions like IBS probably poop more often than you do, and therefore will leave the bathroom a little stinker than you'd like. But before you get your panties all in a twist, consider that unlike smoking (which is a habit and an addiction), pooping is a basic biological function and you're sounding really quite anal-retentive and self-righteous to give it this much air time.

Your poop smells too. And not everyone has the luxury of waiting until they get home for your convenience, and it's foolish to pretend that anyone could.

Besides, the door handles and water taps are probably covered with a far higher concentration of germs than the toilet seat (even with urine.. urine from a germ standpoint is actually pretty decent). The skin part of your bum doesn't have many germs on it, but your hands do, guarunteed.

[Occasional toilet user]

It's probably not possible. I think that's partly why they invented toilets and then installed them into public places.

[JMW]

I completely agree about the stinky fish though I have probably been guilty of that sort of thing on occasion.

But to me, pooping is a call of nature. When it's time to poop, you poop. That's what the bathroom is for. People should make sure the seat is clean, that's only common courtesy, and light a match afterward if necessary.

[Shandra]

I'm with wookie on this one, as much as I think you're great Tertia.

Fish seems excessive, but people do need to eat too.

It's also a very cultural thing - the smell of a hamburger was incredibly gross to a co-worker of mine who was Hindu and vegetarian and had not grown up aroud beef eaters, but curry was a normal part of his day.

Either food's allowed, and it might smell, or it's not. Personally I think offices should have a separate lunch area and /force/ people to go there and have a break, but that's because I think people need breaks to be effective more than anything else. :)

[paola]

You really are a bit anal aren't you ;)

[Laura(southernxy)]

Do y'all not have vent fans in your bathroooms?

Most of the time when you see a fine spray on the toilet seat, it was thrown up when the toilet was flushed. There is a fair likelihood of germs in that, so you should wipe it off before you sit.

[Janie]

I used to wonder why people pooped at work. Until I had a baby. I'm often the only person home with the toddler (no live-in help here)and sometimes at work is truly the ONLY time I can have an uninterrupted few minutes to go. Work pooping has become a luxury. :)

I also agree that when nature calls, you should answer it - you can cause yourself problems by holding it in too long.

[Kathy B.]

How do you control when you go poo? Maybe I'm not normal, but when I gotta go, I gotta go! (Just curious.)

[Suzie-Q.]

Ummm.... i know it is off topic... but, i wanted to wish you a happy birthday!
hee hee!
xoxo

[coral]

We used to have a girl who was making the most toxic smells in the toilet - yuck, thank heavens she has left, someone else can worry about that smell clinging to them!

Happy birthday!!

[Alchemilla]

Tertia,

I also am with wookie on this. You mean you're only supposed to pee in work lavatories, but save your horrid poo til you get home from work? Golly, who knew?

Having grown up in a family where any bodily function was something to be embarassed about, I became ashamed, outside my home, to even ask where the bathroom was. Even just to pee, don't even mention poo-ing. I would plan my drinking to minimise the need to have to ask where the loo was. Very healthy.

After years of furtive embarrassment, dainty pretence (poo, moi? oh no). chronic constipation, etc., I met and married my husband, who shares none of these damn fool insecure taboos. It was an education for me.

As were all the alternative health avenues I pursued tying for a baby, where I learnt that good nutrition and proper elimination of waste has major health benefits, affecting far more than fertility, and for me these outweigh any delicate considerations of the inconvenience of momentary odour.

I am now really conscious to praise my 8-month old for pooing (well done! good job!) so as not to pass on the curse of the guilty surreptitious pooer.

Poo happens. And actually, it's very good that it does. I know that the smell of anyone else's poo isn't exactly one's own fragrance of choice, but I'm really surprised that you feel so strongly about this - especially considering all the nappies you must have changed recently.

Totally with you on the smelly food at work though - that's a personal choice, easily avoided with little sacrifice to the offender, and it just isn't considerate.

[katie]

I have absolutely nothing wrong with my bowels - in fact, rather the contrary, I'd say. If you are able to keep it in till the end of the day every single day, go and see the doctor, you have chronic constipation.

[Amy]

I agree to an extent. If you can HELP it, try to wait unti you get home. I also think that if you gotta go, then hell yeah, you gotta go. I try my best to be quick, flush as soon as possible, and air it out if I can. The ones that take half an hour, with a magazine? Seriously... wait until you really gotta go, and get it done and overwith. How about the ones that get it all over the damn bathroom? Wtf is with that?!?! I work in a fast food restaurant and have to clean the toilets. People that are SO crude as to make a poo-disaster all over the room? Don't go out in public. And I KNOW it is not a child making the mess, and even if it was, I would expect an adult to come out to apologize for the mess. Sigh

[Rachel]

I grew up in a house with one bathroom, so we were all taught the courtesey flush early on. As soon as the intial bomb's away (so to speak), flush! It greatly minimizes the smell and then you can finish and wipe without giving the others a nasal break down.
As far as people at work with smelly lunches, it grosses me out more hearing the loud smacking and chewing than smelling their leftovers. We have one person who smacks, chews and sucks fingers at her desk while reading gossip on the internet. Close your mouth and use a damn napkin! EWWW!

[anon]

I do suspect that waiting-to-poop people are more likely to take longer to poop, thus requiring lengthy reading matter in the restroom. For me, pooping is not something I can hold until the end of the work day, but also something that really doesn't take that much longer than a peeing visit to the restroom.

[Meg]

Wow, Tertia, can you really hold it in all day?!

Sometimes I can just go in the morning and not need to go again until that night, or the next morning. But on other days - even when I haven't eaten anything dodgy - I have to go 2 or 3 times during the day. (Just short visits of 3-5 minutes each time. Being sick and needing to sit on the loo for 15 minutes is a different story!)

I leave home about 12 hours before I get home again at night. It's an awfully long time to wait! Every person at work who I know well enough to talk to about this sort of thing, they all regularly go at work. I know the smell is a MAJOR issue sometimes, but what choice do we have? I'm in awe of people who can actually hold off for an entire day - or maybe those people have very different working days from me.

[Jodie]

Well now. A doctor told me that pooing several times a day or once every few days was fine - if it's normal for you. I go every second day. I can easily hold t in until I get home and never once pooed at the loo at school, or at work.

I agree, if you need to go you need to go. But some people turn it into an event! Do not read a magazine in there. Do not make phone calls in there. Just poo and go!

A girl where I work actually heads off to the toilet every lunch time with a can of air freshener. I guess that's considerate, but I'd die of embarrassment!!!

[Chickenpig]

The only time office kitchen and bathroom smells bothered me was when I was pregnant. Are you sure you're not knocked up? ;)

After changing the diapers of countless babies while working in daycare, and now two babies of my own, and taking care of 4 cats and two dogs, I can honestly say there isn't a poop smell that could offend me that badly, it's just a smell after all. It's the actual handling of the nasty that it's a true gross out. Now, if I could only get the twins to poop when their dad is home....

[kathleen999]

I'm in the "do it, it's natural" camp. For heaven's sake, holding it in is very bad for you. When you have the need to go, that's when you are supposed to go.

Maybe people who are that smelly when pooping are eating some horrid food. I would consider that the issue rather than the fact that they pooped. Healthy food isn't going to cause super-stinky poop unless the person is ill themselves.

And get some fans in your bathrooms! There should be vents and auto-freshener systems to make it smell better.

I agree with the concept that there should be a space for each function: food should be heated/eaten in the cafeteria/break room, and pooping should be done in the bathroom whether at work or at home. That's why we have bathrooms at work.

Stinky people just need to bathe daily and drink water to clear out the toxins.

[WendyNoel]

perhaps lots of youir trama could be cured with a nice can of air freshener? oui?

[HeatherG]

Smells don't bother me at all and I'm not a germ freak. My irrational fears lie in a different place.
I think it comes from living 20 years with an intellectually disabled sister. I'll leave it to your imagination what poo and women's issues have cropped up... regularly.
I do like to hear about your thoughts on this issue and will have to be more careful how I eat, microwave, poo, etc. in the future.

[Meg]

In total agreeance here. I practically constipate myself rather than stink out the work loo. A few years ago my sister's work they had a phantom bogger in the male toilets. He would totally destroy it and some of her friends were trying to work out who it was. They gave up the day the guy some how stepped on it and tracked all over the floor.

[Nicole]

yeah well my sister is one of those people who have an unbearable stench. she smells like rotten ass, and corroded vagina, but the weird thing is... she showers twice a day. i dont understand it but somethings wrong...

[Paul]

This is an old thread, but I want to respond becuase I have had it with office nazis. Eat your food in the cafeteria, that is where it belongs. For those who complain about the smelly food in the cafeteria, tough!
This is the 21st century, and we all have diverse workplaces, and along with that comes diverse foods. If you have a microwave for reheating food, you do not have the right to tell people what foods they can reheat and what they can not. Imagine if muslim workers complained about the hot dogs and the BLTs their coworkers ate, or the vegans complained about the beef eaters. Get over it. I am into a healthy lifestyle, and I eat fish. This really seems to annoy the excutive secretary at my workplace. I even went to the kitchen on the other side of the building to eat my lunch, and she still beaches about it. If I were Asian, she would be looking at an EEOC complaint right about now.

[Megan H]

I don't even remember how I stumbled upon this thread and didn't realize how old it was until I read the last comment, but thought I would post a response. I do try to hold my business until I get home, but sometimes you just gotta go. If I do need to go it is usually about an hour or two after lunch, so I can usually wait the few hours until I do get home. Although this can backfire as it did once for me about a year ago...I had been holding it several hours with all intention of going at home but, alas, a traffic jam on the highway and no restrooms nearby... talk about a dilemma! Well, suffice it to say, this poop wasn't waiting any longer and it pushed its way out into my panties uncontrollably. I couldn't believe it! Fortunately it was a firm poop but still. Any similar experiences?