Unwell and v relieved I don’t have a newborn to take care of.

I think I have Congo Fever or something.  I feel absolutely terrible. I have these horrible waves of nausea, accompanied by terrible stomach cramps and a heartburny feeling.

 No. I am not pregnant. I have been on the pill for almost two months (to try and get rid of that damn cyst) AND I am infertile. So even if I did manage to ovulate by some miracle, I would actually have to had sex on that particular day (highly unlikely), and any way the poor little embryo wouldn’t have too far to go as my one tube is blocked as well.  Have I mentioned I am infertile?

 No, I think it is either Susan the Unwelcome Cyst, or otherwise a stomach bug.

 Whatever it is, I am NOT amused.  It reminds me of that dreadful morning sickness.  Without the accompanying bundle of joy.

 Speaking of which, one thing it did make me realize is how absolutely mental you lot must be who have a small age gap between your kids; I don’t how you do it. Imagine having horrible morning sickness when you have a 20m old to take care of…….  *shudder*. I lay on the couch most of the day feeding my kids chips and junk food.  Not really (well, ok, the chips part is true). I keep looking at my kids and thinking “this is the age gap between some people’s kids”.  I take my hat off to you, you deserve a fucking medal.  My kids are still such babies, they need to be picked up, held, helped, diapered etc, and then to have a newborn on top of it????  My god, it makes the nausea even worse! 

 Really, I don’t know how you do it.  You must be Super Woman. Or super crazy ;-)

 Well, that’s it from me.  Apologies for the dreadfully boring post.  I am off to lie in bed and groan quietly to myself while I try not to puke.

Comments

[Laura(southernxyl)]

I'm sorry you're sick, Tertia. This too will pass.

My grandmother had 8 children, they lived on a farm and everybody had to work in the fields right down to the toddlers. The latest baby was put in a wheelbarrow with a couple of toys and kept under a shade tree. She had a set of twins among them, too. My mother, with the perspective that came with caring for the ones who were much younger, and later her own, asked how her mother had managed twins with all that, and she said that one newborn takes all your time so two can't possibly take more.

But I'm with you. I had just one, and I remember looking at her when she was a toddler and asking myself HOW anybody takes on a newborn and that too.

[Beth]

My IVF twins were 17 months when I got pregnant by some miracle all on my silly own. If it weren't for helpful grandmas nearby I would have gone insane by now. The diapers for three kids at once are enough to drive a person crazy. We take it all day by day though.

[Rebecca]

Ha! I have a baby that just turned one and am seven weeks pregnant with her little brother/sister-- yes, it *is* a bit nerve-racking (read: absolutely terrifying) to think of what life will be like with a 20-month age difference between them. Sometimes I find myself feeling almost panicky over it, because I know they're going to want different nap times, different dinner times, different things to eat, different activities, all at the same time... oh, just don't get me started, or I'll need a valium.

At the same time, though, I really do think that later on it will pay off tremendously. My closest sibling in age is seven years older than me, so I felt more like an only (and lonely) child growing up-- I never had anyone to confide in or giggle with at home (I know, cue the violins, LOL). Whenever I see other families with siblings close in age, they're usually very close; and because of my own experience, I really want that for my kids.

Lastly, I've always had this vision of a houseful of laughing children, and frankly, I'm already 27 and I know my fertility will start declining in a few years. So if I want a houseful, I've got to hurry!

Besides, it's so much fun to make them... :)

[jenny]

I agree with you, how does anybody deal with pg during toddlers? My sk's are only a year and half apart each (3 of them). Imagine a 3yrold, 1 1/2 yr old and newborn? My god! I hate to say the ex is a tougher woman then me but there is no way I could do it.

[Stefanie]

Not sure how I could have passed it all the way to S. Africa, but I had it Friday and Saturday. Dh has it today.
Hope you feel better soon.

[Stefanie]

Came back to add, we just found out the my son's kindergarten teacher is pregnant and due in March. She has 19 month old b/b twins. I'll find out how she handles that!

[shannon]

Funny, you have this post. This subject has been on my mimd. I have an 8 month old preemie (5 month adjusted) and I am 13 weeks pregnant. We went through four years of fertility treatments for our son. This one was quite a surprise. They will be 14 months apart-developmentally 11 months apart. My son probably won't be walking by the time his brother or sister comes. Oh yeah, we are "transplants" we have no family in the area. I'm scared to death but I know it will work out somehow.

[Liz]

Get well, we want to see less vomiting, more cute A&K photos. :)

[ewe_are_here]

heh heh. We actually planned for roughly a 2 year gap. Number 2 will be arriving when my boy is 22 months old. It may be a bit tough for a while, but we hope the closeness in age will allow them to play well together. Luckily, no morning sickness, though...

[J]

Check for meningitis - I'm sure you heard...

[Amy]

I've got a 13 month old daughter, and am 11 weeks pregnant. We were planning on having more kids, but not right away. On the one hand, I'm lucky because my daughter still takes naps, so I can lay down with her during the day and rest, too. I'm also MUCH more relaxed about this pregnancy than I was about my first, and I'm sure that will carry over to taking care of the new baby, too. But, yeah, at times, the thought of having two babies 20 months apart scares the bejeezus out of me. When we found out, I said to my husband, "I JUST got my shit together with this one, and now we're going to have two???" Hahaha... We'll just take it one day at a time, and it'll all work out somehow. The people I've talked to who have kids that are close in age say they wouldn't have done it any other way, even though it was a lot of work.

I do think it would be a bummer to finally get one kid out of diapers, sleeping on her own, independent, etc. and then to start over with a new one. At least this way I'm still used to not sleeping...

I can't imagine how you manage twins. If anyone deserves a medal...

[Tara]

Congo Fever?

You do not have an age gap between your kids...

You could handle an age gap I am sure

[Jenn]

I have a 30 month old and am due for eviction any day. I have had "morning sickness" almost every day of the last 38 weeks. Without suitably gorgeous and divine husband I would not have survived.

Have no idea how one does it with an even younger child. At least mine can tell me what she wants.

[Judy]

Feel better soon Tertia! Hope the sickies go away soon! Is Adam sleeping any better???

[Addie]

So, so sorry you're feeling crummy - but I completely appreciated this post - IVF baby #2 is arriving via scheduled c-section on Tuesday, and my 19.5 month old IVF baby #1 is a turbo-charged wonder - not exactly sure how we're going to cope, but as I just turned 40 a week ago, waiting to space them out any further (as if this were something I could have actually planned anyway, given it took 5 years to have #1!) wasn't in the cards...totally grateful for our good fortune, totally terrified about what the next few months are going to be like!

[jodie]

You're hilarious, T! You have TWO kids THE SAME AGE and you wonder how people handle a toddler a newborn?? I think you'd do fine ;) My two are 3 years apart and that would be the minimum I could handle I think. My oldest was toilet trained and really helpful and independent when my youngest came along.

Hope you feel better soon.

[laurie]

you missed 3-4 years age gap between children on your poll--I would choose that. And, I love the above comments--the zero age gap is really rough! You didn't even get nine months between children like others who have theirs "close together" (and then have the gall to claim its just like having twins!) Two children, including those who are twins are always at different "stages", just like close in age siblings. They often need different size/type diapers, diets, emotional support, medications, etc. etc.

Tertia, if you can handle zero age gaps, you can handle anything.

[Kerri]

I got pregnant again when #1 was 8 months old and then #2 was a month early so that makes them 16 months apart! It was close and it was busy but it was OK. It has taken me 6 years to have a third! This time it is divine! #1 is now 8 and she is mini me! She takes and walks the screaming baby on her hip,changes nappies and they both play with her while I'm making dinner so she is entertained.
This time it's almost easy!
What I will never understand is how you or anyone else manages TWINS! Two newborns would do my head in! Two nappy changes, two mouths to feed, Two screaming babies in the middle of the night! I just can't imagine how anyone does that!
Hats of to you and yours my dear. Hats off.

[JennyK]

When mine was 20 months old, her brother was already here.... But thank God I never had morning sickness! Hope you're feeling more like yourself soon.

[juliette]

poor love I hope u feel better real soon!!

[Amy]

My kids are 18 months apart - got a positive pregnancy test the day my oldest began walking. I also babysit twin boys since they were 10 weeks old. The twins were much easier as infants(although I only had them during they day!). The twins napped together, ate together, and when they were tiny would both sit in infant seats to be entertained. With my boys, I had a mobile toddler to chase while trying to nurse a newborn, two nap schedules (toddler once/day, infant twice/day), and having to constantly watch the toddler to keep him from hurting the baby. As they have gotten older, though, they are great companions for each other and my kids vs. twins seem about the same.

[Tessy]

When #3 was born, I had 3 kids under the age of 4. My eldest was 3yrs 8mos & my daughter was 15 (they are 25 mos apart) months when the youngest was born. I found out I was pregnant with #3 on my eldest's 3rd birthday and my daughter had just turned 6 mos 2 days before. We wanted another, but hadn't planned on having one that soon! I remember sheer and utter exhaustion and not thinking I would make it to 7:30 when they would go to bed and I could pass out.

Now they are 4 years, 21 months and 5 months. It's not too bad really (or perhaps I've just gone insane from it all).

[Chrisha]

Sorry to hear your sick. Sounds like a classic Stomach virus to me though. I do hope you feel better soon!!! And yes,how do they do it? I have a very large gap between mine 3 1/2 years and 5 years,so they are 11 1/2,almost 8 and my baby is almost 3 and it KILLS me. I ask my little sister EVERY DAY how the fuck she does it. Imagine having one and then another 18 months later and then another 19 months later?!?!?! Hell with how she does it. I wanna know WHY she did it? Needless to say she has a 3 1/2 yr. old,a 1 1/2 year old and had her newest baby on July 7th of this year.

[SpaceMom]

Hope you feel better soon.

Yes, Sometimes, we are insane

[Elle]

I have an 18 month old and am 8 weeks pregnant. I feel like crap but am fortunately not puking 5X a day like I was with my first. I also work full-time. I find the time is flying, I don't have the time to sit around and dwell on the pregnancy like I did with my first. Luckily my husband is great and has picked up my slack. I feel guilty that I don't have the energy right now to play with her as much -- but I know this phase will pass soon. I think an age gap of 3 years is great but this is otherwise perfect timing for us so who am I to complain.

Now I don't know how *you* do it with TWINS!

[Priscilla]

Hey, Tertia. Hang in there as best you can. Being sick with little ones running wild is hard. Have you tried any herbal tea?

Jul was 3 and Caer was about 4 months old when I found out I was pregnant with Junket. A slight wobble in my calendar skills, but I can't today imagine my world without a Junket in it. So, for the 3rd time in 4 yrs, I was back at the endocrinologist each week getting progesterone in oil shot into my buns, holding an infant and trying to bribe a 3-year-old to stop wall-climbing for just a few minutes. There was no family help at all, so those years were physically exhausting. And, with three girls, the teen years were emotional devastation that came in waves.

Caer was about 3 and Junket 2 when I got sick one day. I set them up at the kitchen table with art supplies and paper and was lying on the couch, listening to them and trying not to spit up. They got too quiet at one point, and I had to get up and check. Caer had gone in a drawer, gotten out the kiddie scissors and had cut off half of Junket's hair. There was nothing to do but get the camera!

[angel]

ooooh- feel better soon...
i am very excited- i have ordered your book and eagerly await delivery!

[Shannon]

Sorry you're not feeling well, Tertia. I hope that you are feeling better soon. I've been sick in much the same way for the last 3 or 4 days and it's all you can do to stay conscious, not to mention taking care of a little one (or in your case - and I can't fathom it - two of them. Take care of yourself, Tertia. Let Marko take over as soon as he gets home and you put up those feet, make yourself a hot toddy and go to sleep for 12 hours or so.

[Claire Fontaine]

I only had one child but often pinch-hitted for a sister with two hyper toddlers. The little stinkers were a snap. It just took prioritizing, letting some things go. Like eating. Going to the bathroom (and not just the quick tinkle,) bathing, answering the phone. Little things. Took me just two days to realize that cereal and milk makes a fine dinner, one green Ked and one red one is only embarrassing the first time, your skin stays much softer when you only wash up every other day.

Get your rest, Tertia, and keep your own lovey close by.
Claire

[anna v]

There's a year and 6 days between me and my sister. My mother swore twins would have been easier because at least we'd have been doing the same thing at similar times.

FWIW my sister and I loathe each other so having kids close together is no guarantee that siblings will be close.

[Chickenpig]

I must be totally insane. My boys are only 9 months old, and I'm thinking...When would be the best time to thaw those frozen embryo-cicles? I hear from several mothers of twins that went on to have a singleton that the single baby was a breeze after having two at once, even having two other toddlers to take care of. My mom had 3 almost exactly 22 months apart (breast feeding worked wonders for her regularity) and she tells me every day she watches the twins that it isn't as hard as having two babies the same age. When you have one that is walking and toilet trained, or close, and past being fed every two hours, it is a whole different ball game.

[KellyH]

I know a lady whose 2 girls are 10 months apart. TEN MONTHS. And she had horribly complicated pregnancies and had to be on bedrest, etc. Makes me cry just thinking about it.

[Melissa]

I'm pregnant with my first. I can't imagine how my mother did it but I was only 10 months old when my brother was born. The doctor told her not to bother taking me off the bottle yet, because I would still it from him. But I guess my dad was a lot of help. And of course there was grandma. But still picture it a 10 month old and a newborn.

[whitney]

I gotta say, I have 2 girls 21 months apart--had all kinds of fertility problems with the first and wasn't careful after she was born.....her first birthday present was finding out I was pregnant with her sister!! It was so difficult at first, but now they are 3 and 4.5 years old and best of friends. They entertain each other so well!!

Sorry you are sick!

[Lauren]

Hey T,

It isn't that bad - especially the m/s when you can't even pick up your kids because of a cerclage for 6 months.

I look at it as getting all the little kid stuff out all at once instead of stretching out the pain. You also get all the fun stuff too.

I'm so glad I'm pregnant now when they can't remember how little I can do with them then when they are older and would really know how limited I am with them.

[Suzie-Q.]

Ummmm.... i'm thinking you have totally mastered twin mommyhood to be perplexed by those having babes close in age... mine are 30 seconds apart. Does that count as close?! How far apart are yours???