Marko is not a big
book reader. In fact he has only ever
read one book in his life. Books are not
his thing. However, he will obviously
have to read my book. Or else I will
have to kill him. Slowly and painfully. I am sure he wants to read the book but because
he is so not a book reader it is going quite slowly.
To be fair, I wouldn’t
let him read a single word until I was ready, and then last Friday I thrust a
copy at him and said “Quick! You better
read the book before anyone else does!” I think it is important that he reads the book before other people do
(too late already, the asshole!) and also forewarned is forearmed. He better know what I said about him in the
book.
He is now on page
32. The book has 288 pages. And he is afraid, very afraid.
After reading the
first 32 pages, which only took him about 700 years, he is decidedly nervous. He said “my mother is going to read the book! And your mother!! I can’t believe you wrote
all that”. He is only on page 32 people,
he ain’t seen nothing yet.
I gave Rose a copy of
the book and when Marko found out he nearly had a heart attack. “She is going to read all about me, um, and the
sperm sample thing, OMG, I can’t believe you wrote about all of that!!!”
He is only on page 32.
The poor, poor man*.
So, if all my copies
are sold out, I think I will know who went around frantically buying up all the
books in store.
*I really don’t go
into too much detail about him, I spend much more time speaking about what I went
through rather focusing on him, but you know me, no holds barred. I am probably the most un-shy person when it
comes to this kind of stuff. Poor
Marko. Isn’t he lucky we didn’t use sex
to conceive, or else I might be writing about that ;-) Hey, at least I didn’t put naked pictures of
myself or him in the book. Well, not A
LOT anyway. And really, what is a little
sperm sample between friends.
I'm slightly surprised that you allowed yourself to jeopardize your marriage by printing a book about yourself, your husband, and personal stuff without showing it to him first. I'd be terrified to poublish anything w/o asking my dh.
A few months ago I was featured on a video interview for an organization that finances infertility treatment for jewish couples and in it I inadvertently MENTIONED my husband (something about feeling sad that he had to go through so much). He coudnt forgive me for MONTHS!! "Why did you have to drag my name in? Now all my friends will think I'm an object of pity." bla bla bla. men!
On the positive side, I'm afraid I'll just have to go and buy your book. During my 9 years of IF I DEVOURED infertility books. I bought tons. If you wouldnt have used curse words I couldve recommended it to my A TIME buddies, they are always looking for infertility novels. But since you did use curse words I can't recommend them - very religious people who would easily be offended.
I'll let you know what I think of the book! People keep begging me to write a book, because even my pregnancy is like an 80 page saga, SO MUCH was going on. But I will never publish a book, although I did write my pregnancy saga in my blog.
Good luck!
Posted by: mindy | 01 August 2006 at 03:41 AM
"jeopardize your marriage" seems a bit extreme. They are obviously still having a laugh about it from the tone of this post. And he, of course, knew she was writing it. It is not as if you thrust a published copy of the book at him and yelled, "surprise!".
Posted by: Auburn | 01 August 2006 at 03:54 AM
I agree with Auburn....jeopardize your marriage - a little extreme! I'm not writing a book, and don't intend to, but my husband doesn't even know I keep a blog. And if he did, he wouldn't read it anyway, probably like Marko. I don't think that, or Tertia, is jeopardizing my marriage.
Oh, and by the way, Tertia, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! :)
Posted by: Pam | 01 August 2006 at 04:07 AM
Ok, I'll bite..... What was the one book Marko has read?
Posted by: Louise M | 01 August 2006 at 04:50 AM
When I told Todd I was going to write a book about our experiences he said, "People read stuff like that?!"
Ah, men. I certainly didn't marry a literati.
Posted by: Julia | 01 August 2006 at 04:52 AM
Well, have him write a review in 2035, when he finally finishes the book, okay?
Posted by: Judy | 01 August 2006 at 05:10 AM
I was at a local IF support group one time, it was all women except one hubby who came along with his wife. We got to talking about dx and such, and realized that ALL of our hubbies had been to the same urologist, and we got to talking about the appointments and how this doctor was feeling up our hubbies right in front of us, and how they had the special room for the samples, and how all funny that was, this poor man looked like he wanted to die! They never came back. LOL!
Posted by: Andrea | 01 August 2006 at 05:10 AM
I'm also curious to know the name of the one book Marko has read.
Tertia, I live in the U.S., but I must have me a copy of that book ASAP!!!
Posted by: GZ | 01 August 2006 at 05:22 AM
I think that if all the copies of your book sold over night it would be because we north americans have figured out a good cheap way to get our hands on them...
Posted by: anotherjen | 01 August 2006 at 05:46 AM
Men are so hilarious! I guess it's OK for you that you had to spread your legs to the world during IVF and pg, but one little page about sperm collection makes him squeamish lol.
My Dad published a book years ago, but it was BORING, EMBARRASSING and an absolute STINKER. I saw it at the local newsagency in the bargain bin for $1 and I bought all the copies to spare him, and our family, from the humiliation :)
Now your book on the other hand will run off the shelves because you are a terrific writer and loved by so many. Marko will have to fight for his copies ;) Let us know what he and Rose think of it!
Oh and "jeopardize your marriage" - best laugh I've had all day. Backed up soundly by the "curse words" comment. Fucking hilarious!!!
Posted by: Jodie | 01 August 2006 at 07:39 AM
Ha ha ha - my husband would react EXACTLY the same as Marko if I ever wrote a book about our IF experiences. I will force him to read yours and tell him I want a detailed review - I'm guessing after reading your book he'll have a whole new perspective on being embarrassed about IVF!!!
Posted by: Trish | 01 August 2006 at 08:20 AM
Eh, Mindy, I'm religious, and I'm not offended. I've heard worse language from some ultra-ortho rabbis. It's all context.
That said, um, poor Marko ;) He has no real defence, though - I mean, you've been married how long? You'd think the poor guy would know you well enough to know that you'd write a little bit about him!
Posted by: projgen | 01 August 2006 at 08:37 AM
I must admit I would never publish anything concerning my husband without his prior approval. If I write anything he may be worried/offended/upset about on my blog I´ll run it past him first and will moderate it or remove it if it upsets him. "Keeping it real" in the blog world comes second to maintaining a happy relationship and it´s simply not worth the risk to me. He, of course, shares the same courtesy with me.
Posted by: DrJ | 01 August 2006 at 09:28 AM
He better not buy all of the copies! I want to read it too (or at least pages 1 to 32!)
Seriously, if he was actually concerned about the content, I'm sure that he would have asked to read it before it was released. It's not like the man doesn't know that you're outspoken as well as G & D. While the details may have him cringing from time to time when he sees them on paper, I'm sure that he's mainly incredibly proud of you,both for writing the book, and for the incredible courage that you've shown throughout your journey.
Posted by: Sara | 01 August 2006 at 10:19 AM
Sheez, Tersh, I am not sure if I have the guts to buy this book. Part of me is terrified it will suck me back in to the "dark side". Part of me wants to devour the pages. You know what I mean. I have nothing witty to say (shocks you to the core, I know) but to let you know that am so damn fucking proud that I know you, lady.
Love
B
Posted by: Bianca | 01 August 2006 at 01:23 PM
alright ladies, i'll tone down the rhetoric. Not really jeopardizing her marriage; I couldnt think of the appropriate phrase to write, maybe "risk getting her husband really made at her and getting the cold shoulder and silent treatment for a year." Better? :)
Progjen, You dont know atimers I guess. Ultra ultra religious. (I too flinch whenever I see a curse word.)
Posted by: Mindy | 01 August 2006 at 03:31 PM
Wow. Jepardizing your marriage? That's a little harsh. My fiance knows I keep a blog, but really..he doesn't care. He doesn't read it. It's funny to me, because if he kept a blog I'd be constantly refreshing.
And I for one am glad you put curse words in it. It's real. It's you.
I also am curious about the one book Marko has read.
Posted by: baggage | 01 August 2006 at 04:19 PM
ha ha!!! Very funny T. Be nice to my boyfriend. xxx
Posted by: mel | 01 August 2006 at 06:57 PM
I am sure Marko may say those things, but I'm sure he is so proud of you for having the courage to share your story with the world! So many people say "One day I'll write a book blah blah blah..." But you - Tertia - you've actually done it!
You could also tell Marko that you mention him because you love him, and to females we mention those we love! :D (Then offer him a fabulous Friday night *indoors* and I'm sure he won't worry about it anymore... hehehe)
I'll be good to have a male-based review too for your book... you do realise that your book will speak to man and women who are living through the infertility nightmare??!!??
Posted by: Lauryan | 02 August 2006 at 10:12 AM
Ok, so I thought this would be the best place for me to post again.... I finally got my grubby paws on my copy of your book! :D (I had to order it from my local Exclusive Books as they were still unpacking it!!) And so I went along today to get it... I'm only on page 13 and already I have laughed out loud several times... esp at the bit about choosing your specialist (LOL) and the woeful loss of your would have been shoes!! (teeheehee)
The other thing that INSTANTLY caught my attention was the bit about you on the back cover.... Genteel Appreciation HAHAHA... I'd LOVE to know who wrote that bit about you... ;)
Anyways - just wanted you to know that SOMEONE else has indeed purchased the book and hopefully one day when you are a world-famous author and can retire, I hope you name a part of your Vineyard after me... ok, maybe just one tree/vine thingy... ok - how about a grape??!!?? :D
Posted by: Lauryan | 07 August 2006 at 07:13 PM