The book

It’s out! The book is out! Although only locally I am afraid. For all the non-South African residents, please hang in there and hold on to those kind promises to buy the book, I am working my ass off on getting the book published in the rest of the world. I am hoping to have it available internationally by the end of the year.

But as of today, I am officially a Published Author.

Please carry on reading for details on where to buy the book (order online here), what it is about and for some of the early reviews and endorsements.

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                            Description

                        

                         This is the heartbreaking, exhilarating, devastatingly funny story of Tertia Albertyn’s battle with infertility. Tertia wanted a baby so desperately, that she went through nine IVFs. Most people give up after the third.

I don’t think I am being brave at all. I am just too terrified not to try again.

In her worst nightmare she could never have imagined that making a baby would take her four years, each treatment bringing her and her husband Marko closer and closer to making a family.

During Tertia’s journey everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Until, finally, everything goes just right.

Tertia is as hilarious as she is irrepressible, as approachable as she is knowledgeable. If you are struggling with infertility, have triumphed over infertility of have felt empathy with someone who is going through this experience, you will find a friend in Tertia.

More on the book here

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The endorsements

I sent the book to two people to review, and both people loved it. They are both psychologists. Here are their reviews:

 
Dr Sheila Faure, specialist in perinatal psychology:

‘So Close is a compelling and inspiring book for couples who are struggling with fertility difficulties. It is also an invaluable guide for those who care about them. With unflinching truthfulness, Tertia Albertyn describes the crushing cycles of hope and despair entailed in infertility treatment. At the same time, the book resonates with a wicked sense of humour and is an extraordinary testament to the power of mother love.’

 
‘Dr D’ (Dorianne Weil), well known clinical psychologist:

It is rare and an honour to witness and participate in a journey written from the point of view of participant and observer. It is only with the highest level of self awareness and insight that it is possible to BE your story, open your heart and mind and invite others in.

This is a ground breaking documentary for anyone who travels this route and anyone who wishes to understand. Most of all it is for everyone who feels they can’t do it again. Not again, whatever the ‘it’ is……. usually another IVF or some invasive treatment that has taken its toll financially, emotionally, socially and sometimes spiritually.

It is Tertia’s story - but it’s everybody’s story about possibility even probability, courage, tenacity, determination and the undoubted value and healing power of support.

And then, from my Doctor.

Dr Sulaiman Heylen, MD, Cape Fertility Clinic

Infertility treatment is different from other medical interventions, the stakes are so high and the results so unpredictable, which makes it all incredibly difficult to deal with. Tertia Albertyn's book gives an accurate, first person description of the ups and downs of infertility treatment. It will provide great help and inspiration to couples struggling with infertility, and is also a source of information for those wanting to understand people affected by it. Tertia's book is a harrowing reality show between two covers and will appeal to anybody who appreciates a real story that comes straight from the heart.

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The initial reviews:

Janine's blog

Marc's blog

Mel's blog

Cherryflava

Women24

Chilibean

Coral

iweek Download i_week_article_2.JPG

 

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Where to buy the book

The book available online here – Loot or Kalahari.net

The publisher’s website

In store at Exclusive Books this week!

And it should be available at other bigger book stores like CNA and Wordsworth etc

Rest of the world, its coming, soon!

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Some thoughts from me

I have been so so sooooooo excited to tell you all about the book, but I haven’t wanted to say any thing until it was available. I think we ended up with a great tag line – remember how I was struggling to find the perfect tagline, well my lovely editor came up with the idea. The tagline suits the book perfectly:

So Close: Infertile and addicted to hope

(I do give Julia credit in the book for coining the term “Hope Addict”, thanks Julia!)

When you click on the links at the end you will see the cover. Remember how we spoke about the cover as well! Well, you will be happy to know there is no picture of a baby on the cover. When I first saw the cover I didn’t like it. I felt it was too light, too ‘chick lit’, but the cover grows on you and I love it now. It has actually turned out even better in print, the blue is softer that shown online and the spoons are embossed metallic silver, v cool.

The manuscript I handed in to be edited is different to what has ended up in the book. And it was hard for me to go through that process. My fault of course. The brief was for a 70,000 word manuscript. I wrote 112,000 words. So they cut; a lot of stuff. The original manuscript was a lot harder, rawer, more full of pain, but having earned my school fees by going through the editing process, I now totally agree and support the decision the publisher made to lighten the script up a little. It is still me, it is still my voice, but it is not as raw and sore as before. They cut some of the really raw, pain filled parts. And rightly so.

The book is very sad in places, of course it is. It is impossible to tell the story of Ben without being sad. But it is also funny, hopeful, entertaining in others. It will lift you up, and then make you come crashing down again, only to lift you up in hope once again. I wrote the book purposefully like that, to reflect what it is like to go through the ups and very downs of infertility.

I am really proud of the final product. I can’t wait for you all to read it. You will be able to buy the book through some of the online links I will add, but it will be so expensive with the shipping etc, please wait until the book is published in your country (and on Amazon). I promise to make sure that it is! Soon, hopefully.

I feel so, I don’t know what. Proud, excited, petrified, sad, happy, exhausted, rejuvenated, amazed, happy. I can’t believe I have written a book. I can’t believe I was afforded the opportunity to do so (Thanks Michelle, you are fabulous). I can’t believe I stuck to it, that I actually did it. I am a terrible procrastinator and a lazy asshole, I am very proud of myself for having done this. Having a signed contract with deadlines and delivery dates helps, hugely ;-)

But mostly I feel so emotional about it, not about writing the book but about reflecting back on what I have been through, possibly for the first time in it entirety. I’ve suppressed so much of what happened. I can’t actually believe I went through what I did. I can’t believe I made it out the other side.  I never imagined I would ever have been able to survive what I did. I had no idea I had so much inner strength. I am so immensely proud of myself.

I’ve been petrified about the book coming out. So much so that I haven’t let anyone read it, besides those who had to, like my editor and the reviewers. But I haven’t let Marko read a single word, or my mom, the two people closest to me and who know most about my journey. I was so shy about the book, so scared they would hate it. So scared that it was shit, that I couldn’t write to save my life (thanks you one or two who wrote that I can’t write, you certainly know how to lift a person up). I am still shy and extremely nervous that people will hate it, but the significance of what this is all about is overshadowing that fear, at least a little. I am proud of myself, I am proud of the fact that I have written this book. If people hate it, well then, so be it.

And to be sure, not every one will like it. I swear a lot in the book. I had no idea how much until the one reviewer said “I loved the book so much I didn’t even mind the swearing”. Oops. I say ‘fuck’ a lot in the book. But lets be honest here, infertility is fucking terrible, it is hard not to say ‘fuck’ a lot when speaking about it. Plus I am totally honest about how I felt at the time and about the decisions I made. That is bound to piss at least a few people off. I am sure I will get judged for some of the decisions I made.

I am so excited, I can’t believe I have actually done this.

This is a hugely emotional, significant moment for me. This is not just about writing a book, this is certainly not about making money (South Africa is a tiny, tiny market, if I sell all the copies of my first print run I will have made the equivalent of one month’s salary!! Which is why I must get the book published internationally.) No, it is not about any of that. This is about remembering and honouring all the children I have lost, especially my son, Ben. The book is dedicated to him. It is also about Adam and Kate, about what went into their making. It is a journal for them as well, it is also their story.

It is also for my friends, family and colleagues to hopefully help them understand a bit about what I went through, to help them understand why I was the way I was. I hope that reading my story helps them understand a bit more about me, and a bit about what it is like for many other infertile women out there. Because this book is dedicated to all the infertile women, all over the world. It is part of my promise never to forget, to continue fighting for recognition of the issues that infertile people face. It will hopefully help them and help educate others.

And lastly, the book is my final ‘fuck you’ to the shit I went through. Fuck you fate, I never accepted your initial plan for me.  You tried your best to beat me down, but you never did, you came close, but I stood up every time and carried on fighting.  It was so hard, there were so many times when I wanted to give up, there were so many people who said things like “maybe it is not meant to be’, ‘maybe God doesn’t want you to be a mother”. There were so many, many occasions of inordinate bad luck, of terrible misfortune. There were so many occasions where I came so close to rolling over and dying. But I didn’t. And this book is my release note, my parole letter, my graduation certificate. 

It was damn hard, it nearly killed me, but I made it. And I am so proud of myself for doing so.

Thank you to all of you, for every thing. Much love to you all.

- - - - - - - - -

My new project

All of this has given rise to my new project, Nurture Egg Donor Program.  South Africa's premier egg donor program.  Please see Nurture's website for more information about our egg donor program and to view details on our available donors. Although we work with any reputable fertility clinic, the majority of our donations take place at Cape Fertility Clinic.

www.nurture.co.za

Comments

[Kez]

Congratulations Tertia!!!

If you ever write another book, I think the tagline should be "Fuck you, fate!". Loooooooove the tagline for this one though.

And the cover!! It's fabulous! I think it shows that there is a bit of humour in the book. Are there any photos in the book?

Well done, woman.

[anne]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

This is wonderful! I can't wait to get my hands on a copy.

Oh, and the tagline is perfect! Brilliant.

Rapt for you Tertia. Well done YOU!

[Robin from TLOL]

Congratulations Tertia!!! Absolutely tremendous! LOVE the cover. Now I can't wait to get my grubby little paws on my very own copy.

[MollieBee]

Congratulations, lady!

[gkk]

Well done Tertia, you must be so proud of yourself, and I imagine a little scared to be sending your baby into the big wide world. If your blog is anything to go by the book is sure to be fabulous! Can't wait to get a copy.

[Rebecca]

How EXCITING!!!!!

Congrats Tertia. I am so thrilled for you!

[bartscamille]

YOU DID IT!!! Congratulations! I'm proud of you! May it sell MANY, MANY copies and help many, many people.

Camille

[Amber]

You should be VERY proud of yourself. Will be patient until it is my turn to read it. Very happy for you sweetie.

[lyns]

ive been a lurker for a long time...but this is too awesome not to comment!!! Congratulations...!!!!!!!!!!!!! and thank you for giving the world something for women who have gone through it all, or are still addicted to hope...xo lyns

[shinaidy]

Good girl!! Coming out of lurkdom to say congratulations.

Can't wait to read it.

[Amms]

Another lurker here (my my we are coming out of the wood in this post) to say congratulations and well done!

[Bridgette]

Cngratulations Tertia! I am so proud of you. Good job!

[becky]

Warmest congratulations, Tertia! You are amazing.

[Jen]

Congrats T!!!! I will be in S.A in two weeks and can't wait to get my hands on a copy!!!!

[leigh]

Congratulations !!!!

I love your - "Fuck you fate!"

Thank you for your openess and honesty and for sharing your journey. I have been immensely lucky and have had no personal experience with infertility. You have opened my eyes and have helped me to be a better friend, collegue, acquaintance to women who are suffering from infertility.

I think also, that this has carried across to other areas as well. I now think much more carefully before I speak, especiallly about any issue that could be potentially be sensitive or hurtful to others. Thank you for that and .... wallow in all those fabulous feelings - you sure deserve them.

[Charmaine]

Congratulations Tertia! You are going to help so many others with this book go on and realize that they too can go on. I can't wait to get a copy! Congratulations, you should be so proud of yourself my friend. Charmaine

[karyn]

Well Done!!

Can't wait to see it over on this side of the pond.

[Carolyn]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I'm so happy for you, Tertia, and I can't wait for the book to be published in the U.S. so I can get my hands on a copy!

[Leggy]

Congratulations- you must be so proud. That is such an incredible accomplishment.
I can't believe we have to wait so long to get it internationally. What about auctioning off a copy? I'd bet there'd be dozens of readers willing to donate to something for the chance to read it sooner.

[renee]

Well done you!!!! What an accomplishment, you must be so proud to achieve this (plus work, plus be a wife, and a mother - you're amazing).

Not too fond of the cover, but know it will grow on me when it's sitting on my bookshelf! Loving the tag line though.

Oh you really are a STAR.

[Working From Home Today]

Tertia, you are inspiring. Fantastic job!

[Sally]

Fantastic, Tertia!

I'll be sure to buy it once it is published in my neck of the woods.

[Carrie]

Congratulations! I am really looking forward to being able to get the book. Way to go!

[Jacqueline]

Congratulations! You are an amazing woman, Tertia! :D

[KellyH]

Congratulations! I can't wait to get my own copy.

[Lynnette]

Author! Author! Congratulations, Tertia! I can't wait to get my hands on a copy!

[Heather]

Congtats Tertia! What a wonderful gift to have shared with the world! I am anxiously awaiting the opportunity to read it for myself.

[shauna]

Oh WOW- Congratulations!!!! That is such an amazing accomplishment, and I am so SO excited to get my own copy in the (hopefully) near future. I've been such a lurker, but just had to give out a giant YAY for this bit of news!

[Wenchy]

VERY happy and proud of you.

[Stephanie]

Congrats! Looks awesome! But I have to say, those don't look like spoons swimming across the cover... ;-)

[Trish]

Wow - that really is fantastic Teria - well done!!!! I can't wait to read it and pass it around to family and friends!! I can't say thank you enough for being the voice of all us infertiles, especially here in SA.

[Binkytown]

I'm so fucking proud of you! Sending the most heartfelt congratulations. Way to go girl.

[anne nahm]

It moves me to tears when somone takes something so gut wrenching awful and makes it into something good to help others. Congratulations!

[Sonia]

Congratulations!! Fantastic!! Well done!!

Congratulações!! Fantástico!! Parabéns!!

Regards from São Paulo, Brazil.

[baggage]

Congratulations!!! That is awesome.

[Cristy]

Tertia I loved this entry and as soon as I can I'll be buying your book. the cover looks great. You don't know me at all, but after being through your archives and watching Adam and Kate grow up I feel a part of your life and I'm soooo happy for you.

[Charles]

Way to go girlfriend, ya done good. Today South Africa... tomorrow the world! Kinda weepy right now.

[Alchemilla]

Good for you, Tertia. Damn right you should be proud. Like the others, I think the cover is great - really clever without being at all pretentious - and I'll buy it when it becomes available in the UK.

[MsShad]

Those reviews made me well up with tears.

[Elizabeth]

I am so in awe of you, Tertia. You put it all out there and you keep on going no matter what comments or criticism you get from random strangers on the Internet or your book editor. You're a plucky bird! ;-)

I'm in the U.S. and I would love to buy a copy of So Close when it comes out here. Your reviews are f*cking awesome. If anyone ever tells you you can't write, you need to grind those reviews into their face while chanting "nyah nyah nyah" with your tongue stuck out.

[Liz]

What a brilliant accomplishment! Congratulations!

[ChelC]

Ex-Lurker says:

CONGRATULATIONS! I found your blog about... 2/3 months ago (from Julie's blog), read it all, and now I am in love with you and your family. Kate and Adam are the cutest things ever, and you aren't to bad yourself ;).

Congrats on your book, can't wait to get a copy out here in Canada.

[Lauryan]

Congrats Tertia!! I am off to Exclusive Books tomorrow morning (Monday) to buy it...

Thank you for having the courage publish your story - your emotions! I am sure that it will touch many hearts and heal many heartaches around the world!

congratulations again! :)

[Crystal]

Damn it, I don't want to wait for international release!! Is there anything we non-SA peeps can do to speed along the release? I am dying to read your book!

Congratulations, Tertia. This is definitely something to be proud of!

[jen3]

I'm the lone one out (obviously). What IS that on the cover?? It looks like a bunch of sperm - but closer examination shows teaspoons ... is one full of sugar?? Clue me in.

Awesome for you & for all the people 'round the world who will gain strength and courage from reading about your experiences. Most importantly - God Bless little Ben ... what a beautiful tribute to dedicate your book to him.

[sabrina]

oh WOW - this is great - i can't wait until we get it here in the states - i will order it immediately! i can't see the cover, could you scan it for us please? CONGRATULATIONS!!! you're an author!

[Colleen]

You did it! Tertia, you're an inspiration on so many levels. How you found time to write a book while being a wife, a mother to twins and while working full-time, I have no idea. I'm so happy for you and can't wait to buy a copy!

[korin]

yeah!!! i am so proud of you, and so excited!! can't wait for intl' release!! as usual, this post made me cry!

[Karen]

Maybe I am a little (okay, a lot) weepy because of my situation right now, but this post made me cry. Yay, Tertia! I am so happy for you, and so proud of you. What an amazing thing you have done! And how gorgeous and divine you are. I love you to little bits.

[Emma]

I'm really happy for you! I vividly remember the day I got the first copy of my first book and it made me so anxious of other people's opinions on it. Are you? I really hope you'll enjoy all the attention and publicity over the next few months & can't wait to get a copy and then come to South Africa to get it autographed :-)

[mar]

Bravo Tertia!! What a great accomplishment! Must have been so difficult to write (but maybe a bit cathartic too??) - no wonder you've felt stretched in all directions these last few months. I'm sure it will be a lovely tribute to Ben, Kate and Adam, and to all those out there who have been touched by infertility.

Congratulations!

[Sheridan]

Congratulations! An amazing effort. V v proud of you.

[luolin]

Congratulations, Tertia!

[Peggy]

Congratulations!!!!

[jenny]

Why am I crying? I am so happy for you but it's not just that. It's the justice that you do for all of us. Your promise to do your best to make the path a little easier for those who follow behind you, it really touches me. I can't wait to get my copy. I'll probably bawl the whole way through it, maybe I should get it on tape.

[j]

Congratulations Tertia! That is a wonderful accomplishment. I am about to write a book too, only mine is about the law of Directors and Officers Insurance, and the only people who will buy it are librarians for big law firms, and maybe some law schools. When I was in the throes of infertility, a friend and I talked about writing a book, but never got off our duffs and did it. You really should be so proud of yourself. I can't wait to read your book!

[katrina]

Congratulations Tertia! I can't wait to read it, it had better get to Amazon asap. You deserve to feel very proud!

[nancy k]

congrats, tertia! well done, luv!

[Dani]

Chills are running from my scalp to my toes for you. Not to mention the tears running down my face...

Why am I crying? I knew you could/would do it.

xoxo

[juliette]

CONGRATULATIONS! You truly are inspiring; you achieve so much!!!! I simply can't wait to buy your book; I hope it doesn't take too long to get here to Australia. Fantastic job; I hope you celebrated with some MOET or similar!! Hugs fr J xxxx

[z.]

The doctors' reviews are fine but you know whose opinion I'd want to hear? Julie's, c'mon Julie! Give us your opinion

[Twocatmommy]

Huge congratulations, Tertia! Well deserved. Can't wait to read the book.

[malone]

Congratulations! I am sure it is wonderful and inspiring. I'm looking forward to reading it and passing it on to others.

[Leah]

Congrats!!!!!!!!!

[kathy]

Hi,
I live in Australia and have just ordered in on line. Not very expensive at all. Can't wait to read it.

[Janine]

Yayayay. Going to buy copy toDAY.

[Anna]

Congratulations, what a fabulous achievement!

[Mariluz]

I've been a reader of your blog for sometime and this is only the second time I comment. I *JUST HAD TO* break my silence to join the chorus of CONGRATULATIONS! -- What a big accomplishment! Not only have you achieved your long-time wish of motherhood...but you also have your own book of your amazing journey! I *SO* admire you! I'm hoping to have a copy of my own in the future!

[jade]

congratulations, tertia. i can't wait until the book is available in australia or maybe on amazon, i definitely want to get a copy!

[Boulder]

I'm so fucking happy that your fucking book is fucking out now.

And I'm so fucking proud of you!

xoxo

[Marc]

Congrats, busy placing my order on kalahari as we speak... Well DONE !!!

[Scout]

Congratulations! I will see if I can find it this week.

[paola]

Am beside myself with admiration. How you have achieved all this with twins and a job and a husband and still remained sane is beyond me. HUGE congratulations!

[aliasweepingwidow]

Move over Anne Lamott!
Congrats Tertia...to put your soul down on paper is no mean task. I can't wait for the opportunity to read it.
smooch,
vicki

[Kim]

congrats. I am looking forward to reading it too. Do you think we can buy it from one of those book stores and have them send it overseas or would they only send it in SA.

[Geek's Girl]

Congratulations Tertia!

Now when will you be signing books at Exclusive? I want to be sure to put in a day's leave and get in the queue early :-)

[Andy]

Congrats Tertia - can't wait to read it.

[Sheena]

Tersh, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

its been so long since i signed in and checked up on you, and something this morning told me to have a look. i'm so glad i did. you always said in them days you wanted to do it, and look now, you did!!!!

Well done, girl. will stop in @ exclusive on my way home and see if they've got it in yet.

With lots of love and regards,

Sheena fm Dbn... come on, u remember me.

[Croupier]

Published by Oshun publishing--Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of love and fertility. I cannot think of a more apt publisher. Cheers.

[Mac]

Congratulations Tertia!

So glad my parents and brother moved back to SA, between them they should be able to get me a copy :)

[wealhtheow]

Congratulations Tertia! The book looks beautiful, and I can't wait to read it once it comes out in the States! Adam and Kate will love reading this when they get older!

[JDEgirl]

Oh Tertia - so proud of you and for you! Didn't really hit me what a huge accomplishment this was until I clicked a few of the sites that are selling it - ohmygosh!

Can't wait until its available in the US - and then you'll come do a book tour, and we'll all line up around the block to throw rotten fruit at you...oops - I meant...lavish you with gifts...no that't not it...I think I meant ... we'll line up around the block to meet you in person and get your autograph!

[JennyK]

Congratulations, published author. Now you HAVE to let us know when it will be available to those of us in the States.

BTW, did anyone else see a small, blurry image of the cover on one of those sites and think they were sperm?

[spit]

Congratulations!

[sheilah]

Did you include that picture of you holding Ben during his last moments in the book? Or did they not use any photos. The words you wrote to Ben were beautiful but when I look at that photo I am a slobbering fool.

I hope it gets published in the US soon.

Oh, BTW. You *can't* write. Asshole.

[Carrie]

Congratulations!! I can't wait to read it. The cover is lovely. Oh, and the teeth look great, too!

[Mira]

Congrats on the book!!! Couldn't wait and ordered the book from Kalahari even though I am as far away as Denmark. Can't wait to read it!!!

[SarahD]

Banner day! Best of luck on the sales, I'm sure they'll be fantastic!

[abogada]

Congratulations! I can't wait until it is available in the U.S.

[Mel]

You are SUCH an inspiring Woman! Infertility, loss, babies, a book... You are a rockstar and I cannot wait to read your story, Tertia!

I agree with the commenter who said you should auction off a copy or two-I'd bid on it.

[cath]

congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAY

[Mandy]

I'm so thrilled and excited for you!!! I can't wait to read it.

[Alexandra/Infertile Gourmet]

I was planning on commenting earlier and i think I did not get to it....the baby started crying...:)

congratulations Tertia..I am so happy for you and amazed at your beauty (despite the minor olive..I am a full fledged olive myself) and accomplishment ;) THis is so exciting and I cannot believe one of my friends is an author! Yeah! I cannot wait to read it. May I have your autograph please!

[scott]

Well done, author lady. Neen has already boosted your bank account by ten bucks. Can we have an autograph?
Can you get us a book deal? Huh?
Sigh. Envious now.

[steph]

Congratulations!

Thank you so much for the gift of your blog and now the book.

Once again you reveal yourself in this post--revealing another side to you that is wonderful to feel, with you and for you.

You really are a gifted writer and it's particularly cool what you have to say. I can honestly say that you have made a difference in my life. You give me a daily reminder to be more the woman i strive to be.

Thank you.
steph

[Kay]

Thank God I'm not the only one who thought the spoons were sperm! LOL!

If I can get a second away from refreshing to see if Maya's picture has been posted, then I'm going to run a currency calculator to see how much it would cost in USD.

Congrats!

[bad penguin]

Tertia -- that is so cool! Congratulations on being a published author. Now, please make it available in the US. :)

[Sharon]

Hi Tertia, I have lurked on your site for over a year. I came along not to long before you had the babies! I just wanted to delurk and say a huge congratulations on your book! Be very proud! I am looking forward to it being released internationally!

[Jennifer]

I'm so f-ing proud of you I can't stand it! I don't even "know" you but I've been reading your blog for so long now I feel like your pal. I have to go call my mother and tell her what you've done. She's going to be proud of you to! yeah you!

Jen

[Sami]

Tertia - I cannot wait for this to come to amazon so that I can purchase it as I haven't figured out the currency exchange rate. I'm sorry you were scared to show it to Marko and your mom... I am sure that it is gorgeous and divine just as you are and the book is something that you should be proud of. Congratulations!!!!