You are THE most disobedient lot EVER.

 

Bloody hell, but you are a disobedient lot. 

 

No, you may not commit suicide, decide you are gay, choose to abstain or opt for your trusty vibrator.  You HAVE to pick one. That is the rule. 

 

Don’t make me come over there and hurt you.

 

Oh, and funniest comment ever:

 

“I gotta tell ya, there's a reason I'm 44 and still single. THESE ARE ALL THAT'S LEFT!!!”

 

Hahahaha! 

 

Comments

[Susy]

I voted for D as well. But seriously, I think I'd rather have an average woman than any of the sad excuses for penis attachments mentioned here. Tertia, you should get a job on the creative team for a mercinary service!

[Cricket]

With my engagement truly over and knowing that these are my choices, I want to change teams now more than ever.

[C.]

I agree with the 44 yo single lady. 31, single and happy that way. There are a few other categories that could be added:

Candidate E - Pompous asshole who is always right and everyone else is wrong, oh and he knows every celeb. You know the kind you want to push out of a moving car doing 80 mph on the expressway.

Candidate F - The moron who is so insecure he must compete with a woman to prove he is better at EVERYTHING!

[One of Two Mommies]

Hey, no fair, what if we actually ARE gay? I'm happy I'll never have to face any of these choices! I'll take my partner anyday! If I had to pick one of your men (gag) I'd guess I'd chose B (although I had to cheat and imagine it was a woman in order to stomach actually selecting one).

[Laura]

Sheesh! Thanks for making my husband look pretty awesome today. Think he's going to get lucky tonight just to get the images of A, B, C & D out of my head!

[cursingmama]

Once again I state - what do you expect from a bunch of people that endorse your use of the word fuckerama.
Thats why I chose "B" and killed the bastard off with my mad baking skilz

[kel]

Such a tough choice. I went with D. Artists are passionate right?

[K.]

how about: i don't even miss sex that much?? ;)

[Tara]

I can not even answer I hate them all.

[projgen]

Man, you're mean. Okay, I'll take 'a' and hope that he understands the concept "size isn't everything" - he can compensate by letting me drive that car.

[Foster]

Dude, you seriously write THE most repugnant poll choices EVER! BLECH!!

[Sharon]

Damn, Tertia!

By a process of nauseating elimination I ended up with Candidate B - Mr. I'm Dying. I figure with my psychology background I can try to come up with something. I would start by taking away all of the medicine and see if he really would die.

Candidate A - Mr. Small Dick, too many down sides, but like the thought of the car. Maybe I could take a road trip and never return.

Candidate C - Mr. Mouse, sorry, but MIL broke the tie. Simple as that.

Candidate D - Mr. Useless, okay for a friend, but not as a mate for the rest of my life. Those types will suck the life right out of you.

As for the poo in the shoe - too funny.

The farting incident was sooo funny. I tried to read it aloud to my husband and between the tears in my eyes and the cramps in my side I couldn't get past when you two jerked your heads to look at each other. I would have died if I were you or the wife.

Maybe that is my way out. If I died laughing I would not have to choose either candidate.

[meg]

I picked B...he seemed the least annoying of the lot and since he would be at the doctor's office or in his sick bed most of the time the chances are the highest that he would leave me alone. OR, I could tell him I have "THE CLAP" (or probably just the sniffles would do it) and then he would leave me alone for sure.

[wix]

okay, okay, dammit. i guess i'll pick D. at least maybe i'd get some good short story material out of the pairing, and possibly throw the last of my morals out the window and take up with a more talented friend. or something.

[GZ]

I'd go with C. No mother in law could be worse than the one I've got...

[Adi V.]

I picked B as he would be both the easiest to get rid of and has the best stash of goodies. Chronic pain anyone? There are days I'd kill to get my aching lil mits on some of the good "pills and potions" without spending all frickin' day explaining that, hardass that I am, if I actually admit to being in a lot of pain then something as mild as Vicodin will simply not cut it.
No, wait! On second thought I'll keep him around and just start switching out the good stuff with sugar pills. That way I'd have a constant supply seeing as male hypochondriacs get better drugs than women with real pain.

Adi V.