So Close

Grrrr!!!

My one night away from the babes and I COULDN’T BLOODY SLEEP!!!  WTF!

I woke up at 3:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep.  Eventually at 5am I gave up.

I should have taken a sleeping pill.  Damn it.  Next time.

Waiting for Marko to call me and tell me how the night went.* 

I miss them. 

*Apparently it went really well. They didn’t even miss me – surely (don’t call me Shirley) not.  Am indispensable.

Your blonde, buxom, botoxed babe here

It went v well. The Botox wasn’t that sore but the fillers hurt like hell. The clinic was really posh.

I don’t look v different. Actually I lie, the fillers have made a big difference – the crevice between my eyes – much much smoother. But apparently it takes a few days to see the difference with the Botox.

And that’s it really. Almost a bit anti-climatic, after the build up. But perhaps it will feel different once the Botox starts working? He didn’t go mad at all, he (the Dr) said he’d rather do too little and top up, than do too much and have my face frozen. Makes sense.

And that’s it really. I better go pack my suitcase.

Be good while I’m away.

Xx

Oh, and lastly, I’ve been teaching the babies self-defence. Adam is doing Karate and Kate is doing, um, Scary Shouting. Which is a South African form of martial arts.

V scary.

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Download video10.3gp

Admin

Next few days v busy for me. So wont be posting much. Do have one spare post I might do in between.

Tomorrow is B day – the day I give in to society’s negative attitude towards aging and sell my soul to the devil by getting my maiden Botox fix. Am v nervous and also v excited. Will ask the Dr to do the before and after pictures for you. Gawd, hope its not a total fuck up.

Then, on Thurs morn at sparrows fart I leave on an overnight business trip – a night away from the babes. Have organized the babe shift with military precision. All bases covered. Will miss the little fockers terribly.

Will only be back Fri eve, so potentially no blog post till then. Although I will probably have to sneak in quick update on Botox situ before then. Can’t leave you hanging, wondering if face frozen into permanent expressionless stare as result of my vanity.

Realized this morning that am v focused on the ‘B’s. Braces, Botox, Blonde and Boobs. What a shallow, vain person I am. Terrible Muriel.

Wish me luck dear hearts!

Book for ART / adoptive babies

A darling friend of mine has written a wonderful book especially for babies who joined their families through adoption or ART like IVF etc.

Please have a look here

My babes - the literary types

I just want to tell Julie and Julia and the rest of you 'oh look my kid can sit / crawl / walk aready' types - your babes might be able to do that, but can your babies read??  Huh?

Well mine can.  Here's proof.

And Kate got her first doll today, her daddy bought her a doll and we have named her Sarah.

Dissenter vs Troll

What’s the difference between a dissenter and a troll, you ask?

It’s often not what you say, but the way you say it.

A dissenter is someone who disagrees with what I have to say, and they tell me so in no uncertain terms, but without attacking my character, being ugly or calling me names. Some of my best (blog) friends are dissenters*. 

A troll is someone who appears to be unable to disagree without attacking. They seem to like to hit where it hurts, to find a vulnerable spot and to take an inordinate amount of pleasure in sticking the knife in. There is a very ugly side to a troll. Trolls do not like conversation, they like to attack, hit you where it hurts, and then run away.

It’s the difference between saying “I don’t agree with what you are doing, here is why..” vs “You are a terrible person for doing that, *I* would never do that, MY way is the only way, if you are not just like me then you must be BAD”.

I often wonder if the narrow-minded, closed world view of a troll is not an indication of their inherent paranoia that if they do not defend their own beliefs, their point of view, by attacking others with contemptuous indignation, that maybe, heaven forbid!, they might just find out that the alternative view point has merit, or ever worse that their way might not necessary be the best way. And where does that leave them… No moral high ground, adrift in a sea of equality, of multi cultural, multi facetted diversity. Must be really scary for someone who bases their sense of self worth on the assumption of superiority of belief.

Your way is the way that works for you, if it makes you happy, then I am happy for you. If you are a SAHM, a working out of the home mom, a breast feeder, a bottle feeder, a fertile or an infertile, if you think Botox is the Devils Spawn or you think it is fine for me, not for you thankyouverymuch, then good for you.

As I’ve said before, many times, the world would be an exceptionally boring place if we were all the same, with the same views, beliefs and opinions. Diversity is fantastic, lets celebrate our differences and welcome the opportunity to learn from each other. Lets do it in a way that welcomes healthy debate, intelligent conversation, and if not consensus at the end of the day, then an agreement to respectfully disagree.

As for my blog…. dissenters welcome – trolls not.

Oh, and lastly – dear Mollie, I might be an asshole, but I am YOUR asshole.

Smooch!

* My other blog friends are assholes, but in the nicest possible way.

Time Out

That’s it. I’ve had enough.

Sorry, but even an asshole like myself can take so much crap before it starts to become just a little unpleasant.

I know you get tired of me apologizing all the time – but I am not apologizing this time. 

I have nothing to be apologetic for. This is me, this is my life, this is my opinion, this is my world, my blog. If you don’t like it, then move on. I am not perfect, I have never said I was, I have never pretended to be any other than a normal, flawed, trying-my-best-in-my-world human being. 

If what I have to say upsets you, please do yourself a favour and don’t read my blog. Really. Why put yourself through all the angst if I upset / annoy / offend / irritate you so much. Just don’t read it?

If you want to disagree with me, please do so!! I have always welcomed all points of view. But really, there is a respectful, grown up way to say things. Lets have a debate, a discussion; lets not have ugliness – is that really necessary? And you know when you are being deliberately nasty, when you are trying to get a dig in. Does it feel nice to try and hit where it hurts? Leave you with a sense of satisfaction? How does it make you feel inside?

Then, if some one does disagree with me, or even if a troll does a nasty drive by, please don’t be nasty back. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I really can defend myself. Most of the time I just let it go. Other times I will mail the person privately and we will discuss things civilly. Please, no name calling, no commenter bashing. What is does do is discourage people from ever disagreeing with me – how will I ever learn that way? Imagine a world full of people just like myself – how horribly one sided and narrow. Please allow people to disagree with me. And also know that not every one will like me or what I have written – that’s ok. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.

I have only ever deleted comments twice, once a long tine and one today. Both times was when the commenter had something nasty to say about someone besides me. Say what you want about me, but I wont stand you saying any thing nasty about any one else. 

Armchair critics – the world is full of them. It’s so easy to point fingers. How comfortable are you with who you are? How comfortable would you be sharing your thoughts and views with strangers? Would you be able to tell the world how you really feel inside? 

Look, I fully understand that this is an occupational hazard of blogging – you go public, you get all sorts of interactions. You ask the question, you should be prepared for all types of answers. And I am. Which is why I ask the questions in the first place. It is my style, I ask questions, I like debates, I engage in conversations. If you’ve raised a dissenting view, have I ever told you that you were stupid / a bad mother / an idiot / vain etc? 

But just as in my real life, where I wouldn’t put up with people attacking my character, or any one else in my life, I wont put up with it here. 

I blog to engage in conversation. I want to converse with you, to debate, to talk, even to disagree. I honestly don’t have the time or energy to have a fight. What the fuck for? It’s a fucking blog for goodness sake. It’s not about world fucking peace or something of any great significance. It’s a journal, about my life and my world. You’re welcome to participate, you’re even welcome to disagree with me, you’re not welcome to attack me or any one in my life.

If you think I am bloody mad for doing Botox – say “Tertia you tired old ‘ho – are you bloody mad!! I would never do it”. I’m happy, you’re happy, we are talking, disagreeing, conversing and not an ounce of nastiness. See – easy. 

Anyway, forgive the rant, I don’t want go on and on about this, I know how boring it is to read. I’ve just really had enough of the melodrama. 

What is about the Internet that brings out the worse in people? 

I’m tempted to close the comments – because I don’t want more melodrama, or more commenter bashing. But I wont – I trust you ;-)

End Rant.

Happy Birthday Rose!

It is Rose’s birthday today – and although her religion doesn’t celebrate birthdays, I am going to treat a little any way.

I’ve got her a gift certificate for her birthday and we are going to go out to the mall today and go have some nice lunch somewhere and then go spend her gift certificate. The four of us, myself, Rose and the babes.

As for her boob fund – I’ve asked Boulder to transfer the money across to my brother’s account and he will transfer the money to my account. After fees and duties, it will be about $2700, I’ll put in the rest to get it up to the required amount – but THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!!!

You guys are wonderful, your generosity and outpouring of love and support for Rose has been heart warming. Without your help, I am not sure she would ever have been able to get the funds together.

The operation is booked for November 24^th. Naturally we will let you know how it all goes.

Edited to say:

We had great fun today, Rose, myself and the babes. 

We had a fun lunch and the babes were v well behaved.

Here are some pics from my cell phone

My face, my body

Firstly, a warning: I am in a BAD mood. I am hungry, and I can’t find the key to the cupboard at work so I can’t get to my cereal. Its 10am, I’ve been awake since 5am and I haven’t eaten. I get v v grumpy when I am hungry.

Ok, I decided to eat something first and then write this up, feeling much better now. In fact feeling sleepy, I feel a nap coming on zzzzzzzzzz

When I first read some of the responses to my Botox post I get a little peeved. But then I reminded myself that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I did ask the question. So fair enough, I should expect various different views. Although, as always, there is a nice way to say things, even when you think I am being an asshole (thanks Pepper) and there is a not so nice way to say things. Hmm.

I’d like to, if I may, address some of the issues raised.

Firstly, Botox is not plastic surgery. It is anti aging procedures that involves a few injections. The boob op will be plastic surgery. If I do it. 

Secondly, it is going to cost me about $300. It is not a huge expense or else I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Then, let’s not make this decision of mine to invest in some Botox and / or other type of thing a political issue. A few of you have mentioned society’s view on aging etc etc – this has nothing to do with it. I couldn’t give a flying fuck what society does or does not think. This is about me! It is about something I want to do. Not because I am sitting here hacking at my wrists with a blunt butter knife because I am getting older – hell no. I am doing this cos its fun, cos I want to! I am 36 for goodness sake!!! I am not old.

I am not doing it because Marko wants me to. He just laughed when I told him I was going to have it done and said “you don’t need it my darling, but if it makes you happy, go for it” – which is his stock standard reply to all my mad schemes I decide on.

I am also not doing it because I am unhappy with my looks, or that I think I ‘need’ it – I’m G&D for goodness sake. I am no Heidi Klum, but I am pretty ok for me.

I am doing it for a few reasons – because I can, because it is going to cost me next to nothing, and lastly, because I want to, just for the hell of it!

As a matter of interest, why is doing Botox any different to wearing make up? To having your eyebrows died? Isn’t that also enhancing your looks? When does it become “not being happy with what God gave you?”

What about dressing up nicely? About Wonderbra’s?

Where is that fuzzy line that says ‘you can wear make up, have your brows waxed and shaped, shave your legs, wear Wonderbra’s but once you inject some botox in your frown lines you are teaching your kids bad things and not being happy with what God gave you’?

You know, sometimes you / I just do things because we can, and because we want to. For no other deeper, societal or political reason.

And I want to do this, just for fun, just for me. That’s about as deep as it gets.

Might not be your idea of fun, and that’s fine. Thank goodness we are all different – imagine what a boring place the world would be if we were all the same.

Botoxicated!

Guess What!!!

I am so excited.

A while ago I was going through my phone book on my cell phone, and I came across a number of a guy I studied with, we did our MBA together. We got on really well and were quite friendly on course.

But, as life happens, or rather as infertility happens, we hadn’t seen each other or spoken for the last six years or so.

So I called him up to say hi and have a catch up. He is a medical doctor and he told me he was going into anti-aging medicine!! What a complete win. We said the usual ‘must do lunch sometime’ and that was that.

Anyhow, he called me up last week to say ‘lets do lunch soon’ and we met yesterday. So after catching up, I asked him more about his work. I then said to him ‘if you had to do some work on my face, what would you do’, expecting him to say ‘oh, a little line here or there’. After detailing the various anti aging procedures he would suggest for about 15 minutes (only joking), I said to him ‘ok, how much’.

Long story short, he is going to do the Botox at cost price and he is also going to do some “fillers” – whatever that might be. I will be participating in a trial, which means no charge for the fillers.

I am v excited. And a little nervous. What if I come back with a permanently surprised look on my face??? Oh well, at least I will look youthfully surprised.

It’s a complete win. I am going next Wednesday.

So, phase II of the Extreme Makeover is about to commence. Phase I was/is the braces, but that’s taking quite long. Still haven’t got them on. I think Phase III will be the boob op. Oh, no, what about the highlights!!! Oh well, that fits in somewhere between Phase I and Phase II.

So, would you do Botox if you could? What do you think?

(I just know I am going to hear various horror stories of how a friend of a friend did it and their whole face collapsed……)