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lol. really? cuz the donkeys sure look like they're enjoying themselves.....

I have no problem with "normal" porn.

I have a theory on this, my dh can look at whatever he likes, as long as he brings himself home to me. I think the whole thing is kind of funny, myself, but if he enjoyes it I'm not going to make him stop. Unless there were ever a day that his porn hobby turned into an adultry situation then it would be over.

I agree with you on the child porn, and animal stuff. Nothing sick, but just normal bits...whatever floats his boat.

I think the funniest part is when guys sit around together watching porn. I mean, what do they get out of that? It's not like they are going to whip out their own bits and go to town while enjoying a naughty film with their buddies all sitting around, are they? So why watch something that is going to get you all excited in a room full of other guys and not be able to do a darn thing about it? I could understand couples watching it together if they both enjoyed it. I just don't find it that interesting.

I'm a prude...I personally do not like it, do not want it in my house, do not want DH around it (not that he would - we're a prude-couple).

It just makes me way uncomfortable.

No porn. At all. Ever. It's against our beliefs as Christians. And believe it or not, it's more of a struggle for ME than it is for him! But I am very blessed to have a husband who feels this way and is committed to honoring the unique and sacred bond that exists between us. :o)

There is a two fold answer to this
1) what consenting adults do for teh viewing pleasure of another consenting adult is adult business and the adults in question are responsible for it... in other words if it is between adults (not babies, children or animals)... it is there business, however

2) I loathe the industry for making it so easily accesible to children, for filling up mailboxes around the world of people of various ages with links... this makes me very angry. I know this is true because I manage a computer lab for high school students and I hate having to figure out how they get past all my filters and such.

Also, I am not to keen on the way some porn has made women look... e.g. very stupid, bimboesque, things of this nature... but, sadly, I guess that would not be too interesting to a man for the most part, though I have heard that there is a company or two that are trying to change that image... needless to say, from what little porn I have seen, it is all pretty weak and just plain silly.

But how can you tell that no one is getting hurt..?

If I honestly thought that all women (and boys) in the porn industry were working there because they were happy, healthy, self-assured young people who'd made an educated decision to take up this career, then I'd probably be happier about it. But many studies seem to indicate that this isn't the case... Also, if I thought that they all were aware of the costs to their bodies that endless DP scenes will produce and were choosing to take part in these scenes willingly, I'd probably be more relaxed. Never mind the bimbo images - I'm more concerned that modern porn teaches young men and women that very vigorous and violent anal penetration sans lube is normal, and will not have dangerous health repercussions.

I just think that this is still an industry which preys on the vulnerability of young women - and young men - and hence it gives me the heebie-jeebies to think of my husband getting happies by looking at it.

NO WAY! NADA! EVER!!! In colledge(sp) hubby was addicted to the nasty stuff. It took years for him to be free from it. As christians also it is toataly against our beliefs. I think it is demoralizing to women. Were more than T and A!


With digital imaging, there's no reason why he needs photos of anyone other than me, right?

I'm not a fan of it per se, but what he does in the privacy of his computer is not my business - unless he's paying for it! LOL.

They're just pictures.

I'm not a big porn consumer, but put me in the porn-is-OK camp (assume we're talking regular ol' porn here—not child pornography, not snuff films, not obsessive consumption of 8 hours a day of porn, etc.). It gets the job done, doesn't it? I don't see much difference, really, between "quality erotica" like Anais Nin's stories, cheesy Victorian erotica, Penthouse Forum letters, porn mags, modern erotica, XXX movies, or softcore porn on cable. I don't use each variety equally, but they all serve pretty much the same purpose: to put you in a sexy frame of mind and nudge you toward sex with a partner or with yourself.

I know i'll be in the minority here, but I actually like some porn. The videos are too comical for me to watch b/c I end up wondering things like, "Would it hurt to have that waxed?" and "Boy, that really looks uncomfortable." But I do like the pictures.
I was raised in a "It's a SIN!!" environment, but I don't think it really is. (Is there an 11th commandment about it perhaps?) But then, I don't think a lot of alleged sins really are sins. Bigamy is a great example. Everyone from Abraham to King David had more than one woman, and they were just fine. There is no monogomy commandment that I've ever seen.
But I'm rambling. If you think porn is sin or wrong, where do you draw the line? What about women in swimsuits? Lingerie? Tight-fitting clothing? For most guys, it's all the same. In fact, my husband prefers magazines like Maxim that aren't "porn" because he says "They leave something to the imagination." If the goal is to keep your husband from lusting after other women (which is the "sin" part I suppose) then you may as well advocate that we all start wearing burkhas. Men will lust after whatever they see. Back in the day, it used to be women's ankles and hands (it was scandalous to show your ankles.) I don't really think it matters what you show them. If the woman is attractive, imagination will do the rest.

I personally don't care for porn because it just seems silly to me. I can't watch the stuff and take it seriously. But...the hubby loves it and it keeps him from wanting some from me everyday, so that's just fine with me. Heh.

I'm split between two camps on your polls. I'm not for banning the stuff. Freedom of speech is alright with me.

On the other side, I'm very strongly anti-porn. I agree with some of the other posts about how it portrays women. I'm a strong feminist, and I think that porn has several different ways that it creates negative impacts. The women in the industry are often abused. The image of women is very bad in the movies. But really, it is that these films treat women entirely as objects, and teach the men who watch them to treat women totally as objects. I say movies more than images because you could have just a hot naked girl sitting there and while it's objectifying, there's no context. Images can do this as well, but the movies build a strong and consistent context of objectification.

If the objectification/degradation/humiliation of women weren't part of the turn on, why put it in there? If a guy (or girl) gets off watching two people go at it, that's fine. So make porn with people just having sex. But that's not really what is in these movies. It is regularly men being superior, telling women to serve them, and doing sometimes quite humiliating things to them. When there are multiple people involved, it is even worse. Several men abusing some women for their pleasure is not a good picture. A man taking several women to bed to have them serve him is just as bad. I mean, seriously - if a guy likes to watch some other guy ejaculate on a woman's face, how can that be considered as ANYTHING other that a turn-on from watching the sexual degradation of women?

When porn ties sexual gratification to female subjugation, it's not healthy for anyone.

In this sense, gay porn is better (and I mean male gay porn, not some creepy guy watching lesbians – like real lesbians are actually like that. pffffph.). Some of it still ties humiliation/abuse of ones partner to sexual gratification (or, I suppose, perceived power to virility), and that is bad. However, 1) the removal of the gender issues maintains some sort of equality that is absent from hetero porn and 2) a lot of gay porn does not contain a power imbalance between the partners; it shows equal desire and participation.

Would I get mad at my husband? Well I certainly wouldn't like it, whatever it was. Depending on the content, there would be various levels of upsetness (ranging from "why the hell do you want to look at a picture of some naked woman with poofy hair and bad shoes" to "if you really think THAT sort of movie/image is ok, we have some very serious problems" to, of course, "LEAVE" if there are children/animals/illegal-type things).

Just curious.
Christianity prohibits porn? I'm not disagreeing with this, but can you point me to a chapter/verse?

I like visual porn. Not movies, like Jesse I find them too comical, but pictures. I like more "intelligent" porn, nothing weird, but something fun or artistic or intentionally campy. I like Suicide Girls, and Burlesque strip shows (which, granted, are not porn but theatre). I like Sweet Action Magazine which has pictures of lovely skinny boys taken for women and gay men who don't want to look at beefcakes, but the boy next door. And they run articles about how to give good handjobs!

I think the interesting thing about porn is that most women get their "porn fix" through erotica or romantic literature. Harlequins are the biggest seller of any book ever, and people (women mostly) sure as hell aren't reading them for the stories. So if women can read about heaving breasts and quivering thighs and warmness spreading down there why shouldn't men looking at their nudie pictures?

So yes, porn is okay for me, for my boyfriend, for whomever.

Well the definition of "consenting adults" is the one that gets me. Many of the women in the porn industry are being exploited. Is it really true consent if the alternative to being in porn is having your family starve because the wages in Russia are so low and opportunities for women are so few and far between?

I cannot simply look at porn without wondering how the woman came to think this was a good choice of career.

Interesting... I note that your poll results indicate that most people are perfectly fine with it... yet... most of your commenters seem not to fall in that camp. Hmmmm. Are those who are fine with porn not wanting to comment for fear of being lambasted???

Here's some interesting facts for you. The U.S. of A is the world's largest, per capita, consumer of porn. (I recently read a long complicated thesis on the matter...) Interesting given that I'm sadly bemused by a culture that deems it ok to watch grand scale violence and still call it family entertainment, while the site of a penis on film is somehow considered obscene. Insanity in my books... but then I don't live there.

Travel to say... Europe... where nudity is considered just a part of... you know... LIFE... the consumption of porn drops dramatically.

Or how about THIS one... oh I'm going to get blasted for this... I just know it... but I can go dig out the very current internatinal study that was published here in the Canadian media if you insist, but... as access to internet porn increases... ready for this?... the rate of violent sexual crimes.... DECREASES. Something about frustrated sexuality, maybe?

Sexuality is the single most basic aspect of humanity... it's necessary... it's up there with say... breathing... as far as propogation of the species goes. So the more that healthy expression or visual depiction of sexuality is deemed 'dirty' or 'immoral'... the more the business is driven underground... well... the more abuse that takes place in its production.

And please... let it be understood... of COURSE I'm ruling out children... or physical torture... yes... those things do occur... and that's not porn...its criminal violence and has absolutely nothing to do with healthy expression of adult sexuality.

Porn is just a part of life... it ain't going anywhere... and while I may occassionally browse boobs and vaginas with my dh just for shits and giggles... I say, make the industry transparent so as to protect those who work in it. There's no use demonizing it.

Ok... you can bring it on... I'm ready...

I look at porn on occasion but Im not engrossed with it. Hubby never seemed too interested in it but I don't think it'd bother me as long as he didn't prefer porn to me. He has never treated me as less than a lady (even when I belch).

As for porn that I do/have watched (and it aint often) is only girls with girls. I guess because the porn with men always make it seem like she's an object for him to use whereas with women it's more mutual. No, I am not bi nor have a desire to be with women, it's just a preference when I watch porn.

Child porn, animals, and cruelty are completely out as far as I'm concerned and a person who gets off on those has deep and serious issues.

I like porn. There I said it :o)

I like pictures, not movies. And personally I'd rather look at pictures of girls than guys ...naked guys are just weird looking. That doesn't mean I haven't seen or wouldn't watch a movie. They are rather silly. What about the written word? Sexual stories? Are those considered porn? I like those too. Helps with fantasy play in the bedroom. Its something we use together as a tool rather than my husband sneaking off to view it alone.

Used to not bother me, used to think of viewing boobs and bits as totally normal male impulse that shouldn't be discouraged. Now I see it differently. What changed my mind? Really not sure, maybe just getting older and developing a broader perspective.

The stories behind the real live women who pose nude are not that clean and happy. I do think there is exploitation going on, and I would not want to gain pleasure from someone else's suffering. Just because a woman willingly agrees to be photographed, and even makes a lot of money at it, does not mean that on some deeper level, she is not being exploited and harmed.

Secondly, humans are easily desensitized. After a while, boobs and bits just don't satisfy anymore, and then it's off to hard thrusting, brutal handling, degrading talk, etc. And then after that doesn't work anymore, what then? One thing leads to another. I'm not sure that frequent viewers (as opposed to occasional viewers) can remain satisfied with boobs and bits. In fact, I think studies have shown that porn appetites escalate. That's my point, in case I wasn't being clear.

I differ from people in my religious sect when it comes to nude art, however. A painting that depicts the human body as a glorious creation is a thing of beauty--but that is very different from a photograph of a woman posed in a physical position that is clearly sexual and very often degrading and crude looking. Also, even if a model posed for a painting, the end product is still far removed from her. A photo of her, however, is just too close for my comfort.

I think it is normal for men to want to see nude women. I don't think less of men for this, but I do expect them to practice restraint. When we are walking down the street and we see a pretty or sexy woman, I always point her out to my husband if I see her first. He LOVES me for this! I see nothing wrong with him appreciating other women's beauty, as long as he loves me. I never thought it was anything special, but he told me that women in his past were so insanely jealous, he thought he had died and gone to heaven when he learned that we could enjoy seeing a pretty woman together. I guess that is our "outlet" for him, which I find acceptable. But, no porn.

No problem whatsoever with (adult) porn. I quite like it myself once in a while, especially gay male porn. I have also written a lot of erotica over the years. But if my husband wants to look at porn, or if I do, I think it's perfectly okay. We're both adults. It doesn't get in the way of our relationship.

I'd feel differently if there seemed to be an addiction problem, but there doesn't. On either side.

Porn (the normal kind between two consenting adults) doesn't bother me. My h can watch it for all I care. As for people being exploited, that's a point, but so are Walmart employees (not to mention the people in South East Asia that produce for Walmart). And buying a Oriental rug knitted though child labour is probably worse from an exploitation standpoint than buying a porn cd in the US.

O.K. Someone above needs the scriptural reference that prohibits porn....how about thou shalt not covet in Exodus from the ten commandments? That's a basic one, but the sad fact is that we become dependent sometimes on things like porn for arousal. Also, the habituation can be a hinderance to the intimacy between man and wife. It also holds up an unreal picture of man or woman to behold and that's just twisted. I mean, nobody looks like that! Except on the North Shore.

I was able to replace every vision in my mind's fantasies with an image of my husband and I'm so happy I did. It's so exciting that he is my mind porn, now. I don't want to look at clone look-alikes, I have my knight in shining armor.

I enjoy it and watch it regularly with DH. We have even made and shared our own. I have no problem whatsoever, as long as its between consenting adults. We dont watch it because our sex life is absmyal (sp?), but because we both enjoy it.

Like anything, in moderation, it is a-okay with me. I don't really mind having a little pick myself once in awhile :)


ummm. kiddie porn...What about that picture of your kids in the right hand corner of the screen.

I just want to say, that it offends me. They were not consenting infants. They did not sign a release saying their bare asses could be exposed on the internet to people all over the world. They are being exploited!

I admit I like soft core ADULT pictures.

I have no problem with porn. I like to read it occasionally, watch it every once in a while (although it gets laughable once I've gotten off). I don't care if DH loks are naked women, porn, goes to nudie bars, etc. Perhaps I would feel differently if he were the kind of guy who did it all the time but he isn't.

Fisherwife, thou shalt not covet? I can look at a naked person without coveting them, without wanting to 'have' them.


It's a sad, sad day in this world when someone can look at a photograph of two adorable children and say that the image offends them.

I'm guessing you are from the U.S., where attitudes toward nudity are twisted, in my opinion. Since when does nudity automatically equal "sexual" or "offensive?" Bizarre. I mean, "God" made us in "His" image, right?

Anyway, I'm extremely liberal on issues like porn, sex trade, etc.

Acceptable but only if he shares. lol That is to say, I would find it creepy if he was looking at it behind my back, or whatever. But together, sure! And for the record, we haven't partaken in quite a while. I'm pregnant therefore deemed untouchable. Oy vey!

I'd say that Egg Donor has only been exposed to bad porn movies. There are some in which the woman is seen to experience pleasure, and it's not difficult to try envisioning oneself in the situation. It's not all 100% anti-woman, exploitative, designed-only-for-male-viewers. Yes, plenty of porn movies may be icky to the average woman, but some are pretty damn juicy.

And I sure as hell hope ktcakes was kidding, as there is absolutely no sexual content or intent in the pix of Adam and Kate. Nudity does not equal porn.

V, v interesting that a couple commenters, presumably women, appreciate gay-male porn. I haven't seen any man-man movies, but you're bound to have some fine-looking male specimens. All the same, I think I prefer any porn to include a woman (or women) getting some.

I think picture porn like what you described is a bit silly, but then I am a woman so I guess I don't get what a still picture can do for a man who is into that sort of thing.

Now video porn, that's where it's at! LOL. If I had a partner who was into it I absolutely would not mind. I would also not mind if s/he wanted to share it with me ;).

Have you been talking to Janis lately?


I don't like it. It perverts the mind, and that is never a good thing. JMHO.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that KTCAKES was being sarcastic/joking...settle down Mollie. :)

Knowing Kate, I am QUITE sure that she was KIDDING!!! Since I am a Molly, I felt the need to defend Kate and let you all know that every Molly or Mollie out there in internet land is not so wadded up. (joke!)

As for the porn debate, I am against it, but have to admit to reading sexy romance novels and jumping DH after he has gone to bed. If he knew what started the fire, he probably would let me read more often.

I did read an interview of Ted Bundy the crazy serial killer that said he started with looking at "soft" porn as a young adult, got hooked, and things just kept going wrong from there. That is scary to me (although he obviously had other screws loose.) DH isn't interested, and you bet I'll have all sorts of blockers on the internet when the little boys in my house start using the computer.

BOy, I really hope that KTCakes was kidding. It would be terribly sad if someone actually felt that way of a sweet baby pic!

Not a fan of porn. Not judging others, can only speak for my case. But I know that I would be upset and insecure of my husband felt the need to turn to porn. That would indidcate to me, we had a problem.

Just me. Each to their own.

DH and I have looked at porn together and alone. Recently we used it for our "on demand" days when it's just too much and we are just too tired but it's ovulation time and we gotta get it done. I recently found this article about how different types of porn affect sperm production..."Men who view pornographic images of two men and a woman produce better-quality sperm than men viewing pornographic images of just women, an Australian study reveals."

Here is a link to the entire article:


Two observations:

1. I'm a little skeptical about the husbands who supposedly have no interest in porn. I bet they like it more than they're letting on.

2. Sharing porn/erotica as a couple is excellent, yes. But hello-o-o-o! It also comes in handy for solo action, for a man or a woman. I'm surprised by the number of commenters who say they don't want their husbands looking at porn alone.

I used to think that porn was harmless.

I once found my husband's porn while cleaning out the closet--computer printouts of stories of outrageous tales of housewives entertaining the plumber, the mailman, and the pizza delivery boy. I chuckled and put them back exactly where I found them. I completely forgot about them for at least 5 years.

One day after we divorced, my daughter forgot to name a file when saving it, and forgot what folder she put it in, so I searched the hard drive for "untitled." I found HUNDREDS of files named "untitled" in nested folders named "untitled" with the parent folder in one of my ex's "documents" folders. They were all text-based porn about cheating wives.

I now realize that his underlying jealousy issues were fed by his consumption of porn, and I had NO IDEA. In hindsight, his previously tolerable behavior worsened when we got internet access, and I always assumed it was because he didn't like me having conversations with old college buddies etc. (although he did like being able to monitor them!) Now I think he was reading his porn and imagining me screwing taxi drivers, personal trainers, and the super (ugh), and was eventually unable to tell reality from his fantasy world.

I think that porn is perfectly fine if it's something that interests you, but I find it kinda boring. Porn movies make me laugh a lot and don't really turn me on, but pictures can be intriguing.

Not sure.. not into it myself and while I know hubby sometimes flips through a playboy or penthouse at the firehall, in general, in our situation, I think it is pretty harmless.

Would feel pretty differently however if hubby was into hard core stuff or any of my kids decided they wanted to do it for a living!

Porn is evil in any form. Satan's way of destroying our societies. It is filthy and is the filth that builds up in the gutters and sewers. Damnation to all those who even think it is okay for it to be looked at.

First of all, I'm fine with porn, I'm fine with my boyfriend looking at porn. Forbidding porn sounds fairly big-brotherish to me. Although most of my fantasies now feature my boyfriend, I defend to the death the right to think about Brad Pitt instead :-P

I would say that most free straight porn is misogynistic, but I also think that attacking porn while ignoring the rest of our cultural inputs is misguided. I find most of the adverts in the average "Cosmo" or "People," and even on network tv equally damaging and much more prevalent. (On the cover of a Teen vogue a few months ago I saw the line "Mary-Kate to Beyonce: which body do you want" this was several months after Mary-Kate was hospitalized for ANOREXIA) (Don't even get me started on sitcoms. . . ) While porn is generally sought out with a specific goal in mind (getting off) the negative stereotypes of women in advertising create the background of our lives: they are inescapable.

As for email inboxes: use spam filters, they're easy, effective and getting smarter all the time.

Concerning unrealisic body images: you're far more likely to find the jiggle of cellulite in a porn search than flipping through channels on cable. I've certainly had bad body image problems in the past and I was greatly comforted by the fact that men get off to women with many physical imperfections. It also helps to remember that a man's favourite boobs are always attached to the woman he loves, regardless of how saggy or tiny they are. :)

Finally, it is true that many women are exploited in the production of porn. To combat this I would suggest intelligent purchasing. I try to avoid buying from companies that bust unions (Walmart, Nike), likewise I would encourage everyone to avoid buying porn from the producers of "F*ck Sl*ts IV." There are a few new porn companies that have quite enlightened attitudes towards safe sex and female sexuality. Suicide Girls and Comstock films are both places to get exploitation free porn. There's a company in Santa Monica that only films sex scenes with obvious condoms and no risky sex practices.

Anyway, hope this posts ok.

P.S. I think ktcakes must have been joking. It's an adorable photo.

P.P.S. what does "dh" stand for?

whew, T! Call off your dogs!

...but not my bare baby ass. That would be disgusting and perverted.

As someone who lives with six roomies and the BF, AND has a stack of porno mags in the bathroom...Obviously I have no problem with it. When I see that BF has been visiting naughty sites, I tease him, then make sure that he is alllllll sorts of taken care of. I've never had a problem with it. Dare I say I enjoy it? I do! Gay, straight, kinky, whateves, as long as it doesn't involve kids or animals, I'm all for it. (my female roomie likes it too, she is a BIG fan of taking erotic photos.) We're just all dirty birdies like that.

Okay, okay, never mind. I got the inflection all wrong, ktcakes.

I guess I get a little overwrought about these things, since I know of several people who have gotten in hot water at the Fotomat for bathtub shots of the kiddies, etc. It just seems like in the U.S., at least, Big Brother is going a little bonkers in the name of "child protection," in some cases even revoking custody when doting parents who love their kids, bits and all, try to immortalize their flesh on film.

I am all for kids under the age of six or so running naked at the beach, as well. But I felt terribly self-conscious even letting my 12-month-old run naked on the beach in Naples, FL a few years ago. There's a real campaign against nakedness in America, and it makes me sad and frustrated.

Sorry I got my knickers in a twist, ktcakes. Mea culpa.

I have to say, I'm a fan. I like porn...especially when my wife and I watch together. She enjoys it as well, though I dare say not as much as I do. I think she enjoys me enjoying it. (Makes sense?) I don't think she minds that I enjoy a pic or two now and then by myself, especially during those times when she's not interested (Rosie and her five friends just can't do the job right without some visual help). I would guess she doesn't mind because she knows I wouldn't trade her for all the naked women in the world.

I don't believe it should be legally restricted and I'm all for people having a great sex life. I just think that the USA's depiction and expectations of girls/women has gone askew. Porn, strip clubs, movies, magazines, TV etc. has put unattainable goals on females. While I agree about the two consenting adult thing, I find it interesting that only one Jenna Jameson comes to my mind. I would feel badly about supporting a porn company that prohibits condom use. Supporting any company that puts people at risk for death is just inexcusable to me.

Love it! Thank god for porn. I'm actually the one that INSISTED we get some. In fact, I encouraged an ex to get some and now he has about 40 movies he keeps in a suitcase. Oops!
But really, porn is great. Obviously nothing involving animals and kids, but I don't consider that porn, I consider that evil, and people who watch that sort of stuff need to be medicated and put away.
But normal porn is great, and by normal porn I mean vaginal, anal, oral, maybe fisting..but that's stretching it..literally! (Haha)
I'm not into things like golden showers or foot fetishes, or anything incolving actual pain. But we have about 10 "normal" porn videos under the bed. I don't mind my boyfriend getting porn or watching porn, I think it's healthy. And really, porn is great for those dull grey afternoons when you feel like a nice cup of tea and a good orgasm. With or without the boyfriend!

I was gonna say what Egg Donor ended up saying. She also probably said it better than I ever could have. Basically: I don't want to have anymore policing or restrictions of our freedoms (god knows we have enough of that in the US as it is), but I strongly suspect that all those "consenting adults", particularly the females, usually consent without really knowing what they're getting into. And a lot of them, though technically "legal", are just barely adults.

That said, I've been known to partake of (and enjoy) porn videos. It depends on the video. If there's too much humiliation involved and it seems degrading, I can't detach myself enough to stop thinking about the poor girl I'm witnessing the (actual) humiliation of. (Porn stars can call themselves "actors" as much as they want, but everything that's happening is *really* happening, so as far as I'm concerned, that's not "acting".)

It would be interesting to conduct a study on the suicide rate of female porn "actors" in the US and abroad, and also what percentage of them abuse drugs or engage in other risky behaviors. Also, it would be interesting to find out what ages most of these women are when they start out -- the US military, for example, loves to snag young 18-year-olds because that age just so happens to be the age of peak adult physical performance with a very maleable and trusting mind.

Very interesting topic you've brought up, Tertia.

omg, you're so funny Tertia. One minute it's baby clothes, the next it's porn. To be perfectly honest, Hubby and I both enjoy watching porn together and apart. We own about 50 DVDs.

Porn's fine by me. We SO need to update our collection though - we haven't even graduated to DVD from VHS yet!!

I have been thinking abt porn for a while now - oh look at this sentence - and have realised a few things. Took me a while bcs I'd never really seen it and now have had the channels as part of the whole package deal for a while so I decided to inform myself.

Agreed on animals and minors, absolutely.
I find most porn dull. I have seen some Brazilian one and that's a bit different. They french-kiss, hug and cuddle, and sometimes the women have genuine orgasms.
I've never seen gay porn and would like to - once an Anthropologist... - but girl on girl I find just boring, and faking I find just boring, and sex tends to look ridiculous when seen from the outside, all spidery and silly.

As for the consenting vs exploitation, well,Claire's said it, if we're only considering sexual exploitation, fine, but how abt, say, GAP clothes made by children
in sweatshops in Asia, and bread baked by illegal aliens for a pittance, and coral necklaces and and? And I have seen a good number of older women in movies, so they must be getting something out of it. Since the industry is here to say, I worry more abt the AIDS and Hepatitis B statistics than the exploitation itself. As w prostitution, it should be medically monitored. I HATE that they use a condom and then the women swallow the sperm. Bcs, as we know, sperm is ALWAYS free of the virus.

I doubt it that Ted Bundy became a sociopath bcs of porn, that anyone becomes twisted solely bcs of porn. Porn may help trigger something but really, there has to be highly faulty wiring or horrific experiences to go w it. Slay me now: I think one of the reasons we in Europe fear the US at times is that it is a deadly powerful country with a very puritanic, morally ambiguous and often hippocrytical mentality. I for one am happy I can still take pics of my friends' naked toddlers without having the dogs sicced on me. I think it makes a difference who is the recipient of porn, also culturally.

OTOH, I do agree that we've become desensitised, and that it places an unbearable burden on many when porn is not rightly decodified. That is, most women do NOT have 3 orgasms when a men so much as breathes on their nipples and so on.

I like Shelly up there, by the way. We haven't had enough of the Inquisition in my Iberian family, always good to see the seedlings alive and thriving.

Porn has a way of creating a *norm* for women (meaning a specific way that women are supposed to look). It fits right up there with models. The vast majority of women (90% or more) do not fit this body image, and never will. By creating these images, we are damaging both ourselves and our children.

Also, porn tends to degrade women. It has been proven (via experiments) that men who watch porn are more likely to state they want to rape a woman if they had a chance and/or admit they have raped a woman. Also, men who have watched porn are more likely (again, experimentally proven in a psychology laboratory) to be generally abusive against women (more so then against men in the same situation).

It's kind of scary...

My husband used to watch porn. After talking to me and after taking a Women's Studies course, he has stopped watching porn altogether.

I don't dislike porn in itself--but it bothers me that only the men really get to have orgasms (for the most part). Women "perform" but not in a way that is naturally sexual--in a way that is very contrived. For many women, real orgasms actually take time and may not be as "camera friendly". I think I would like it better if I really thought the women were having a good time. They just seem like they are working too hard and I find it disconcerting.

Most sexual things can be empowering as well as exploiting--it is two sides of a coin, and unfortunately, we tend to largely see the exploitive side of sexuality in porn. In my opinion, porn doesn't have to be harmful to women, but a lot of it is. It frustrates me that for all the wide variety of porn out there, very little of it seems to capture empowering, orgasmic, natural women.

Now seeing that would be sexy.

I am sure all you ladies who love porn would be *thrilled* if your daughter chose to let some guy ejaculate all over her on camera. It would be news for the Christmas letter!

Dear Friends and Family,

We are so proud! After barely squeaking through high school, our Britney has made the decision to join the sex industry as a porn star. We were relieved because it means she can stop stealing from us to buy her drugs! Anyway, her first DVD is now in adult video stores. It's called "Daddy's Little Girl."

Because it is her decision, we support her all the way. Even when the pizza delivery boy used a large pepperoni to do you-know-what-to-her, she LOOKED like she was enjoying it. That's the important thing!

Support her career, her drug habit, her bleak future, and her clinic bill by buying her DVDs in the coming year. They will arrive in plain brown wrappers, a surefire sign it is something to be proud of!

Britney's ultimate dream is to be on the pages of "Playboy". She can't think of a better way to use her gifts and talents than helping fat, putrid, perverted middle aged men or teenage boys get off in their bathrooms. For every happy, well-adjusted man using "Playboy" as entertainment there are 10 perverted weirdos. We are comfortable with that. We hope you are too, otherwise you are all religious prudes.

Parents of a Porn Star

I am wondering how people feel about strip clubs, lap dances and the like. Isn't that part of the whole "adult" industry?

personally, I don't like any form of porn precisely for the exploitation factor. Maybe because as someone who was sexually abused as a child it makes me feel victimized all over again.

oooo Mopsy - that was very enlightening and totally another way of looking at this. I wonder if it's one of those "it's ok as long as it doesn't affect me" type things because I would be horrified if my daughter... yuck - I don't even want to go there.

I am not a fan of porn of any type. It's not because of religious reasons or moral reasons. It just brings very uncomfortable feelings in me almost nauseated. I don't know where or why these feelings come from. My dh (to my knowledge) doesn't use/view porn. If he does he has never and I mean never once in 23 years of marriage ever made reference to it.

Autoeroticisim, aka getting your own rocks off, has been proven a very healthy and NECCESSARY part of any person's life regardless of the level of sex and intimacy in their relationships. AND Some people are visual.

ME I read erotic lit...really really BAAAAD erotic lit...sometimes fanfiction erotic lit of characters on the TV I'd like to see get it on. My husband, wants to look at sexy women, whatever.

I am usually home when his playboy subscription comes to our door and I read it first. Yes, I READ Playboy, in fact it has more articles than pictures if you haven't picked one up lately, AND they are about politics and movies etc. Also, as an artist I frequently run to grab the playboys to figure out how to shade or draw a part of the body.

Men who already don't have some kind of issue with sexuality, or oh say the drive to kill like Ted Bundy mentioned above, KNOW what they are seeing is faked. My husband FREQUENTLY points out the playboy centerfolds with a "Oh my GOD her boobs are REDICULOUS, you'd think a plastic surgeon would first have to SEE real boobs to be qualified to make them." And we laugh about their stupid hair and their dumb costumes as well.

I think porn is perfectly fine. I also know that while people out there are being exploited (there are lots of jobs where people are exploited) there are some women who came into it honestly and now make more than any Man EVER could in the industry (I read the book Thinking Triple X).

Mopsy, your letter is dead on! It makes it pretty obvious that enjoying porn is only possible if you are willing to divorce yourself from the reality of that porn star, who is a woman with a personal, human history. And objectifying women is what pornography is all about. Where did the feminists who fought this battle so valiantly lose us? At times in the past, I had also found myself thinking "well, if it is all between consenting adults, both actors and viewers, then . . . " It sounds cool, anyway. Seeing it from the perspective of ourselves as parents of daughters sure does put a different spin on it.

Good lord Mopsy.

If my daughter, as an adult, wanted to pursue a career in porn, I'd be rooting for her the whole way.

I enjoy sex, I'm not ashamed of my body or what it can do, and I'm not against my daughter having those same feelings.

I am not a "fat, putrid, perverted middle aged men or teenage boy", I am a grown ass woman who enjoys herself sexually. Thank god for legal porn. Thank god for having a husband who I can explore my sexuality with, a husband who never ever makes me feel like a whore for loving him and loving myself.

Going anon for this one:

Mopsy, my COUSIN was in Playboy, Miss April 1998 if you want to look her up. Everyone in the family knew about it, the magazine and the video were both on dispaly at a family party. She is now a successful actress starring in a daytime TV show and in an summertime evening reality show. No way in hell was that woman ever exploited. Not to say it doesn't happen, but many of those women (especially in the higher-end mags like Playboy) use soft-core porn as a jumping-off point for a modeling and/or acting career.
p.s.- that woman with cum on her face? Goes home to a nicer house than you or I.

Despite being generally very pro-sex I must admit that I feel divided about porn. Although I think it can be very sexy, like other people who've commented, I have concerns about the unrealistic expectations and attitudes that it can foster. Generally I prefer homemade or gay porn to the commercial hetero stuff, which just always seems incredibly plastic and false to me.

Now what brought on THAT question? Okay okay, I'll answer. I like porn, but my husband can't look at it unless he looks at people less attractive then me. I KNOW what I look like and it would be too easy for him to come to his senses.

So I can look at any porn I want, but he can only look at ugly women who are bigger than me.

:-) Okay, neither of us really look at porn much anymore. That could be because we hardly have time to do what we would be looking at, so why waste that time finding pictures/movies of it?

I hope Miss KT keeps her eyes closed when she's naked in the bathroom. Wouldn't want her to offend herself.

The babies tried to sign consent but they just chewed on the paper instead.

I think it's acceptable, as long as it's in the comforts of home and not, say, at a resturaunt. I figure the people in the pictures/movies were willing to do this so people could see them, so why not? I personally watch the movies because they are silly, I find them very very amusing.

Food for thought, let's take mopsy's letter and instead of it being about her daughter, let's make it about her SON. How would THAT letter read?

And also, here is your shocker of the century. My STBXDH is a sex-story writer for the largest web distributor of porn in the United States. He makes $11/hr.

I have no problem with it as long as it's in addition to, and not instead of, enjoying each other. Actually, I don't think the bf had ever seen a porn movie until we bought a couple together. And I know he's never been to a strip club- though he is showing some signs of being willing to go with me.

"I enjoy sex, I'm not ashamed of my body or what it can do, and I'm not against my daughter having those same feelings."

MollieBee, for those of us who consider our bodies and our sexuality private and holy, is your implication that we are unable to enjoy sex, and are ashamed of our bodies, and ashamed of what it can do, and uptight about our children enjoying a healthy sexual relationship?

wessel, I was wondering the same thing...

I’m sort of in the Egg Donor and Monique camp in that I feel that there still is a lot of exploitation in the Porn industry but I also feel that there are exceptions (Jenna Jameson to name one) and I myself watch porn with the Hubby on a regular basis (Playboy Channel). It’s funny with my ex I was much more disturbed with him watching porn, a combination of I was much younger/more insecure and it was something he didn’t share with me so it came across as something more forbidden/dirty/secret. With my Hubby I find even he picks up on it when things “feel” a bit exploitive and we both get turned off (change the channel) or we often laugh and point out when there’s bad editing or applauded when we see real boobs.

As far as porn and feminism goes; I thought feminism was all about having the opportunity for women to make decisions for themselves and to not feel guilty about those decisions (among other things). There are women in the sex industry (porn, dancing, prostitution, etc.) who actually willing go into it and who don’t feel exploited and who actually feel empowered by it. Now granted I feel those women are in the minority but I do know they exist. I actually have a friend who is currently dancing in a strip club, she’s an over 40 former model and still incredibly beautiful and she tells me that at times it makes her feel fantastic that at her age that she’s still got it going on. But on the other hand she has admitted that it’s not always an ideal job and she’s seen some very negative things both on a personal level and more so with some of the younger girls she’s worked with.

I don’t know in America it seems all to often that sexuality is deemed wrong/sinful but our pop-culture is full of sex & violence and somehow that’s ok. When I was growing up my dad had no problem with letting us watch T&A movies on HBO, stuff like Porkies, and I even remember watching Benny Hill (the British version with boobs aplenty) but my brother and I were never allowed to watch movies like Friday the 13th or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, even stuff like Rambo was frowned upon. I’m not sure if my mom knew about our movie viewing but for what it’s worth my brother and I both grew up with healthy ideas about sex (well I can’t say for certain about my brother but my SIL indicates that things are just fine) and we’re both non-violent.

I like porn, I like and and don't mind if my husband looks either. It's fun and it spices things up!

No child porn/animal/sicko stuff here, just plain old porn, mainly girl/girl.

I found dh looking at porn online and wasn't bothered in the least. It's NORMAL!!!

Why, Sarcastic Journalist, how did you know I had such lovely supple skin, a puckered butt, and many folds in my thighs?

First of all, your blog was blocked to me at work on the day you posted this; the message said it was because it was porn. Gee, wonder if that goes on my log anywhere? Um, thanks!

Second, I don't care if DH wants to look at porn AWAY from me. I don't care to partake, too. I would feel like there was a reaction expected of me, and I wouldn't be able to fulfill expectations. I think porn is boring. I'd be really truly trying to read the articles.

Third, if I was going to look at porn, it would have to be still print, where there is plenty of airbrushing. I'm so spoiled by what women's legs look like in magazines, when I see a real leg with jiggle (such as my own!) I find it unappealing.

Fourth, if you'd pay me enough, I'd put my jiggly body on display. "Enough" for me might be 'way more than Mopsy's Christmas letter example, but for a high enough price, say a cool $500,000 after taxes, I could be convinced.

I wish that my husband would be more interested in it. I don't mind it- I think its fun to do different things to keep the marriage alive and young. But, my husband is a good Christian boy- and doesn't want anything to do with it- not sure if its because he's scared that he may start to rely on it or become addicted to it as you often hear about... So, for me, I'd rather have a husband not into it, than a husband that was TOO into it.

You know well yourself what happened, when that "innocent" porn was my issue with a now Ex-husband of mine.
I say NO to porn, there is no way I'd believe "no one will get hurt." There is a porn and there is erotica ("intelligent" porn?). And there are the limits.
And I have to point out here, that people who say Yes to porn must only speak from experience (it did not hurt them personally). Otherwise it is called ignorance. Same way fertile people saying to infertiles "just relax".

Does porn simply mean sexually explicit (are medical text books porn?) or does porn mean something about the intentions of the maker or expectations of the viewer? Is it possible for a sexually explicit film, made with the intention and hope of arrousing the audience to *not* be porn? If not, when does a film cross the line? Tits? Bush? A clit or cock?

I'm just asking? ;-)


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