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Hats off to you for giving mothering the recognition it is due.

No matter what kind of mother - new, trying, at home, working, etc. - it is all the toughest occupation in the world.

(Yes, we use the phrase here in US, but not often any more.)


PS - I think this should be published, even if it will simply go to your head & make you all the more popular.

Wow - that was incredible. I love it. You've given thanks to us all. Thank YOU Tertia...

Dads who do all this should be thanked too.

Great post!

Great post, T! And, I love the last one...my mom is the mom who I admire the most ever ever ever. She's a trooper. I don't know how she did all this and turned out as sane as she is!

I'm crying. OK, I'm also hormonal, but still, I'm crying. Thanks for reminding me that even when I feel like "such a mom", I'm still G&D!

Thank you for including me too, you know my history and I feel special because of today's post.

Thank you T.

I also admire and love my Mum very much. She raised four children as a single parent, we all are productive adults who would do anything for each other. When my children were born, she moved back so that she could have a close relationship with them. When my son died, she was my strength, even though she was grieving her grandson and her close relationship with him.

Hats off to mothers who have lost a child at any age, who continue on the path that is before them, who can still see beauty and goodness in the world, even though their world has been shattered.

This is the poem I put in the paper for David's first year memoriam. I found it after a search on the internet, no idea who wrote it, but it conveys how I feel:

'We are connected, my child and I, by an invisible cord not seen with the eye. It's not like the cord that connects us until birth, this cord isn't seen by any on earth. The cord does its work, right from the start, it binds us together attached to my heart. I know that it's there though no one can see, the invisible cord from my child to me. The strength of this cord is hard to describe, it can't be destroyed, it can't be denied. It's stronger than any cord man could create, it withstands all tests, can hold any weight. And though you are gone and not here with me, the cord is still there but no one can see. It pulls my heart, I am bruised...I am sore, but this cord is my lifeline like never before. I feel you are with me each step that I take, bound by the cord that no one can break. I am thankful to God, he connects us this way, a mother and child, death can't take it away.'

"Mother", what an awesome word.

As a young and single Mom, I thank you Tertia.

Hats off to you as well :)

That was beautiful. As self-appointed Defender of Stepmoms and Stepkids The World Over, it made my heart glad to see that we were included on the list. It is so wonderful, I wouldn't trade for the world getting know and warp my girl the Diva, but so may well-meaning people say offhand things that hurt. I hate the term "your own" for example. My stepdaughter is my own. Just the other day, my father-in-law said I was "going to be" a great parent. He's a wonderful guy, we're really close, but I corrected him. It's close, as I see it, to what adoptive moms get, at least at first. The well-meaning comments about having your "own" baby, etc., are insanely hurtful and undermining to parental confidence.

I have been with my now-husband since the Diva was 9 months old. She's puked on me, seriously did not sleep through the night until she was two (night terrors/evil streak), and one memorable day, she fired me (evil streak). She was three. I am her parent. I am not her mommy and she will never call me such, but she's my girl, and she knows this. She'll be 5 in September.

Great post! I am partial to the single moms. It is truly the hardest job in the world, I'm sure of it. And also, I'm in awe every day of my Mother who raised SEVEN while working (full time) for most of it. Oh and with no help from my piece of shit father. GOD BLESS HER! :)

Great post!

Oh and we do say hats off here too...never heard "big up" though.

Very well put! It's amazing the insight you gain while being a mom. I am beginning to realize I was a very self centered person before kids. (A very nice person, but I really had no clue!)

Bravo..Fab post Tertia.

I don't think you need to worry about being as great a mom as your mother. You already are.

Very sweet.

Oh, I'm crying. What a nice post. Sometimes I still forget that I get to call myself mom.

Great post.

I fit into some of those categories. Im a half single mommy, a young mommy, a sort of step mommy, a working woman mommy, and a tired new first time mommy!! LOL Tertia I'm so happy for you that you have your twins. I hope and pray that you will get a second chance of babydom. That is if your still interested in the whole baby process lol. Sometimes I wonder and look around I know I am pretty mature for my age. I look at friends that have babies and I shake my head the girls have no jobs, dont even want to bother getting a job, are very promiscous, and the list goes on and on. Its just not fair to ALL The GREAT WOULD BE WANT TO BE Moms. Aaaaaahhh so deep Well just typing away and wanting to tell you I love your site. OKIE DOKIE BYE

Hats off to YOU, Tertia. Working mom to twins. I know I couldn't.

The pain of possibly never being a mom visits me occasionally but I'm glad to be in a place where I have nothing but joy in my heart for those who "make it".

My sister is a single working mother to 2 demanding kids with a demanding job and I think just about every day "I don't know how she does it".

What I mean is, I don't know how she does it without feeling that life dealt her a kak blow. Well, she I'm sure she feels it but she never says it. Hats off to her too.

I hope you give yourself a Noddy badge more than you feel the tug of 2 commitments. I.E Providing financial security for the benefit of your babes vs being there everytime they open their eyes.

One day they'll write the same glowing tribute that you wrote to your mom to you. NO QUESTION.

I think "big up" is like a hip-hop thing. Though I'm about as hip hop as the easter bunny.

Lovely post today. I miss my mom so much, living half way across the country. I'm doing everything in my power to move back toward home. sigh.

Wonderful post T.

And I am going to add a Hat's Off...

To birthmoms. For giving of themselves so selflessly the most precious gift of all.

P.S Tertia se vir die mense hulle moet in zoom n paar keer op die map en nie ons plek steel nie. Kliek oppie Zoom in goetjie mense!

Wow, I didn't even know I was hormonal today until I read your post! Someone turn the waterworks off, or I'm going to have an entire office questioning me.

As and adoptive mother, I'm glad that we got our own separate category. I sometimes don't feel like I belong in the "Mommy Club" because I don't know what it's like to be pregnant (beyond 6 weeks), to give birth, to see them smile for the first time, their first steps or their first words. My kids were adopted at 22 and 28 months old. For me, the hard part was remembering why I loved them while they kicked, hit, screamed, bit, pinched, spit, clawed, heads turned around... while they were still testing to see if I'd keep them around. I didn't have that precious newborn image to fall back on, and that made it hard. A year and a half later, I have some sweet memories to fall back on, but those first 3-6 months...

Hats off to you, Tertia, for reminding us all that no matter what words come before "mom" in our titles, being a mother is very hard, but very rewarding work.

Actually, my company has employees give each other "Hats Off" cards, so I'm on board. :P

I thank you, too,for the separate "Adoptive Moms" category. I also only know what it's like to be pg up to close to 5 weeks only, but did get to bring my baby home at 4 weeks of age. Still, the assanine (sp?) comments we get *are* different than the ones biological parents get, so it's a wee bit different.....

This was a beautiful post!!!


Thank you for the hats off to step moms. My step-mom "inherited" me at age 14 and was that ever a tough time figuring out how to deal with me. But she always handled it with grace. She is not a "replacement" mom, but I now consider her one of my best friends. Yay for all moms!

Hats off to all of you awesome women!!!


What about Hats Off* to the mothers of Heavenly Angels?
(Mother to the beloved Karra-Lynn May Peters 5-23-02 to 7-12-02)

Oops,I'm a blind idiot!!!,Sorry Tertia for missing the one about the mothers to lost children.
And thanks for including us as well.
I certainly hate when dummies in the world,don't want to acknowledge some of us just because our child(ren) are not living. A mother of a heavenly child is no less than a mother of an earthly child. Again,thank you so much for including us too.xxxx

Thank you for posting that!!!

That was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.

And hats off to the mothers of preemies or sick children. They persevere through the stress and the worry and can't be with their kids all the time. Extra hats off to any mom with one kid (or more) in the NICU or other hospital area, and other kids at home. Splitting their heart into two and trying to keep it together.

Hats off to moms who want to be moms again, but can't make the parts work again.

You surprised me with how many other categories I could fit into: the single, practically step, experienced, stay at home, old mom.

Very thoughful. Thanks.

I can't believe that, in my crazy thanks/rant, I forgot to add this:

Hats off/big ups to grandparents who raise grandchildren. I was not raised exclusively by my grandparents, but we lived with them my formative years and Daddy worked third shift (insert country song here), and they were my main influences.

Looking back on it, we were insane and I don't know how my grandparents did it, with an acre for us to get lost on, a cedar tree they were always calling us out of, and ONE channel. So I have a big soft spot for those wonderful people who, in their golden years, raise the next generation.

Hats off to you for acknowledging us all so brilliantly and lovingly. As a once new mom, a young mom, an experienced mom (now), a mother of lost babies, and a working mom, I salute you. I can't imagine all you went through to have your wonderful children (all of them), even though I've followed along with you through it. Hats off to you for your bravery, determination and resiliance in your motherhood. You are an inspiration to us just as we are to you. Thanks for the acknowledgement of motherhood. It is greatly appreciated.

Well done, T.
Where would we be without moms? (ja, ja, I know...)
Everybody! What are you doing reading this! Go and appreciate a mom immediately!

As always Tertia, you are more than eloquent. I love it.

Hats off to you my dear!

I hope you have a G&D week.

Smooches to your babes...

As a gay, first time, current foster but soon-to-be-adoptive mom who's lost one child to miscarriage, darlin', you made my freakin' day.

Thank you for including all types of moms. Hats Off, Kudos, Big Ups and Props to Moms!!

Wow, that's the first time anyone included me in the "mom" catagory (I'm a stepmom)
Thank you!

Rather classy of you, the addition. I am learning a lot through reading her since Grrl pointed the way.

I think it is classy too Tertia.

I was especially moved by:
because some of you didn’t get the chance to experience your darling baby’s first few days, weeks or months, that must hurt.

in your original post. I am adopting a 9 year old girl, and it does hurt that I missed 8 YEARS of her life.

Thanks for this post Tertia.

I am a single mother of twins with no help.
How about saying "Pants off" instead and some hottie guys may just do it and actually make me feel special?!!

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