Miscellaneous

Re the make up thing

A few of you asked ‘what does Marko think’.  Marko says he doesn’t like lots of make up and that I am perfectly fine without make up / dressing up.  BUT… whenever I do the make up / dress up thing (i.e. for a function) he always remarks how nice I look.  Which makes me think that even though he says he doesn’t mind and that I don’t need make up, deep down he might actually prefer me that way?

And although I would never do something ‘just’ for someone else, I do want to be attractive to Marko. I would hate it if he never made an effort at all. 

You guys are right though, I do feel better when I have at least made a bit of an effort to dress up slightly.  I suppose I need to do it for me.  We will start off slowly with better fitting clothes and MAYBE some light mascara. 

Re the pill thing

How long before your body gets used to the pill?  Not how long till it’s effective, I know that, but how long before your body gets used to the hormones?  Because I am HIGHLY irritable at the moment and I know it’s from the pill.  I recognize this feeling, it’s a PMS feeling.  And unfortunately it is solely directed at my husband.  And actually my barking homosexual dog who wakes my babies.  Those two always bear the brunt of my PMS induced irritability.  Being PCO means that I only get my periods once a year (when not on the pill) so at least they are spared my moods.  However this pill seems to be making me feel like this all the time.  For their sake I need to know if this is going to sort itself out soon?

Re the work thing

I go back to work on Tuesday.  It is making me feel miserable.  Combined with the pill induced bad mood, I am not a lot of fun to be around.  Blah.

And that’s all I have to say.  My bad mood is preventing me from saying much more that doesn’t involve swearing.  Off to kick husband and/or dog.

Comments

[K]

I think the PMS-type side effects from the pill depend on the type of pill and how you personally react. For me, tri-cyclics made me crazy cranky. I switched to the patch, which is the same steady dose of hormones throughout, and I felt like a normal happy human. If what you are using isn't working for you, you could always ask your doctor if there is something different that might lessen your side effects.

[Leigh]

WOW - I'm first up.... just wanted to say HI, and still keeping up with all your news. Am sure you will get back into the swing of work really quickly!!! Good Luck. Go easy on the dog!!

[Leigh]

Damn.... just too slow on hitting the post button!!!

[sk]

I am also PCO and the mood swings never went away for me while I was taking the pill. I'm no longer taking it and I feel better most of the time. I just started my PCO medications again yesterday and I must say they are affecting my mood horribly. Damn hormones. Those babes of yours are beautiful!

[j]

Oh, sorry you're going back to work Tuesday, but it really won't be so bad. My first day back to work after my first maternity leave was surreal. I remember going into some stupid card store and buying my son a very silly squeaking bird toy to bring home. I had a big lump in my throat. Funny, one of my girls was playing with that toy this morning. It no longer squeaks, and it is a bit sad looking. By the end of the first week, life was already feeling back to normal again. You'll probably have some sad moments. But don't feel guilty if you have some good ones too. Like thinking, OMG, I'm eating lunch IN PEACE. Reading a trashy magazine, or talking to a friend. WOW! I remember how to do this. It is okay, enjoy those moments. And remember your little guys are getting lots of love and attention while you are gone.

[Wendy]

I have PCO as well and had to try three different types of Pill before settling on one that didn't make me so crazy. I am on Mircette (actually Kariva but same dosages etc) which I think is only available in the US, but what is really important about it is the type of progestin used. It's desogestrel, which is in several types of Pill. The ones that made me insane were Ortho Tri and Yasmin. Give it three cycles and if it's still bad, ask for another type to try. It was so worth it for me. 1st time commenter, by the way, I adore your site.

[Jessica]

Or maybe the NuvaRing, if you can get it over there in the wilds of Africa. It's a constant dose, like the patch, but it's internal, so no lint-sticky places, and if I recall correctly the dose is even steadier. I switched to it from Depo, and it's waaaaay better. Way.

[Janis]

Another PCOSer here. I cannot tolerate the pill at all. It makes me absolutely vicious. (it's either the PCOS or I am really *that* much of a bitch)

I'm not too worried about getting pregnant with hubby's sperm. Antibodies, minute count, little motility, blah blah blah. But I am scheduling him for an SA with the RE soon just to be on the safe side.

If it comes back with better odds that the last go round (lss than 2% chance of getting knocked up on our own) then I will be looking into other options. I just am loathe to go on the pill.

Why can't there be a pill for men? Why dammit? Why?

[Janis]

Another PCOSer here. I cannot tolerate the pill at all. It makes me absolutely vicious. (it's either the PCOS or I am really *that* much of a bitch)

I'm not too worried about getting pregnant with hubby's sperm. Antibodies, minute count, little motility, blah blah blah. But I am scheduling him for an SA with the RE soon just to be on the safe side.

If it comes back with better odds that the last go round (lss than 2% chance of getting knocked up on our own) then I will be looking into other options. I just am loathe to go on the pill.

Why can't there be a pill for men? Why dammit? Why?

[Vicki]

Finally a topic I can comment on :-) I have PCOS too and started the pill last October. The first two months sucked (the second sucked much less than the first). I was cranky, irritable and my boobs hurt. But since starting the 3rd pack everything was great. Hang in there, it does get better!

[toni]

I have PCOS too. I would give it at least 2 months... Some of the BC pills gave me morning sickness, hot flashes and side effects for a few months. I had to switch a few times to find some that didn't make me crazy depressed.
good luck

[Melissa]

Hello! The babes are beautiful! I was a total lunatic for 4 months while on the patch. I switched to a non hormone IUD and it has been smooth sailing ever since (well, mostly smooth, you know what I mean). I love the IUD. The only negative side effect is that my periods are a bit heavier. Can you get IUD's in SA?
Melissa from NY

[Judy]

I vote for a man pill myself. Someone let me know when there's one available and I'll have sex again.

Gotta run - 6 month old running the keyboard and it ain't pretty!

asdiwn nftnl ipwoooooooooooooooooooo

[sara]

Pill thing- they say 3 months. I'm inverse. I'm WONDERFUL for 3 months, then however long after that I suck. I break out, I get moody, I cry, etc.

So being irritable in the beginning is a GOOD sign. Because if you're not, then you've got problems coming up down the road. :p

[sara]

You might also want to look into the funky gel insert-ring thingmabob, it's supposed to release a more steady stream o' hormones and reduce the insanity brought about by quick absorption via one's stomach.

[Jessica]

Sara--the insert-ring thingmabob is the NuvaRing, and I think it's great. They even have a little program you install on your computer that tells you when it's time to remove and insert a new ring, in case you're likely to forget.

[parodie]

The general advice is to give your body 3 months to adjust, and if you're still feeling awful after 3 months, to try another pill.

Some pills are worse than others - for example, I know a lot of women who found Alesse was horrible (made them antsy, just generally cranky and miserable). It did the same for me, and when I went to the doctor and complained about it she said that most ppl she knew had had similar problems.

So you may need to give it time, or you may need to try another pill (or, as others have suggested, and IUD, or the patch, or NuvaRing, ...).

Good luck!

[Sarah]

Oh Tertia I feel for you. I went back to work two weeks ago.

I find once I get there, it's not bad. Only leaving is painful.

I hope as easy a time for you.

[Kristin]

Never commented before, but I just have to speak up about the pill. I was on it for a couple years, and for me, the bad side effects never went away. I was terribly bloated, 10-15 pounds heavier than normal, weepy/bitchy and had no sex drive. I also cramped and bled most of the month. And yes, I tried all different formulas. Some people say it's great for them, but I don't think it's a wonderful birth control method for everyone, even though doctors will try to convince you it is. (If you ask me, it's a great birth control method for men. Period.) Seems to me that if your bad symptoms continue, there's no reason for a person who rarely ovulates to go through all that. There are plenty of methods, although slightly less convenient (for the man), that don't screw up your body chemistry and have the five gazillion side effects (some very dangerous) of the pill.

[malone]

This is my third week at work. I don't want to be home full-time, but I don't want to be working full-time either. Work is great in the morning - I feel like I am on vacation - but by 2pm I am dying to see my girl. I can hardly stand it, my insides hurt. I have left early almost everyday. I am also pretty sleep deprived as I no longer get my afternoon nap. While I love my job I am currently trying to see if there isn't a way I can find a more flexible job that still pays enough.

I don't mean to make you depressed - just that you aren't alone if you miss your babes.

Luckily for you Kate and Adam are with people they are familiar with and who love them so you wont be disrupting their schedule so much. My little one is adjusting to daycare and the guilt is killing me.

Good luck - I'll be interested to hear how it goes.

Malone

[Sara]

(remove NOSPAMPLEASE to unmuck email)

1) is he remarking on how nice you look because he knows you put a lot of thought and work into it and appreciate feedback? Just because he remarks on how nice you look when you've done it all up *doesn't* mean he doesn't think you look nice other times.

2) Just to put this out there, the Pill made me crazy. I had wild surges of irrational anger for 2-3 weeks out of every 4. It was awful. Plus, as a bonus, no libido whatsoever! It didn't get better, in fact, it got worse. I would give it a bit longer and then talk to your doc about trying a different pill. Some are better/worse than others. For me, the ones that didn't make me crazy made my breasts swell up like awful, painful, water balloons. And killed my libdio. My husband was never happier than the day we decided to look for other methods.

3) Its awfully hard, that first day. and the second. And the third. But it does get easier (if not all the way to easy), and having good care that you trust is key to that.

[e]

Pill=horrible. I never got used to it. The women in my family seem to have a real problem with it. Like morning sickness 24/7 +irritability for the whole time I'm on it.

[susan]

T, maybe I missed something (I did read your reasons for going back on the pill post) but did your doctor specifically recommend you going on the pill? Because if you only get your period once a year, I'd say the chances of you getting preggers are very slim. Why be on the pill if it causes this type of mood problem?

[rebekah]

I have tried almost every pill on the american market. The last one i was on was "Cyclessa," it was shit. I started crying when my microwave defrosted my chicken too much! But now I'm on Estrostep and I freaking love it. I don't know what brands you have in SA, but I would stick with low-dose in combination with either triphasic-dosing(gradual increase) or constant dose. Estrostep is triphasic, but a good constant dose (sorry don't know the actual term for it) is Yasmin.

P.S. we need more baby pictures. I'm going into cuteness-withdrawal, woman!

[Ally]

No advice on the Pill. Going back to work sucks rocks but eventually it will get better. Took me four months, six months post-partum.

One bright note, with the in-home nannies you won't have the daycare pick-up and/or drop-off time eating away at your time with the babes.

[Libby]

Tertia,

I just wanted to comment about your return to work. I'll be frank, it was v v hard for me. My first week back was hell, and I was very depressed. I cried every day. However, as the days went by things got easier and I felt more comfortable leaving her with the sitter. I think that you have an advantage, because you have Rose, whom you are already comfortable with, you are not wondering all day wether she is taking good care of them. You already know she does. Additionally they are in your home. That is a big, big plus (in my humble opinion of course), and as far as I can tell the babes are not having any kind of issues with feeding or the like (my baby would not take the bottle).

In any case, I just wanted to let you know that I understand how hard it is, and how you have no choice. I did not have a choice either and it sucks. Just like people told you that things would get easier when the babes where 12 weeks old, I tell you that things get easier after the first week or so back at work. I still hate the fact that I cannot be a SAHM, but I am doing the best I can and my daughter is happy and healthy (she is almost 3). You are an excellent mother, your babes are G&D and I wish you all the best!

[Tessy]

I am supposed to remind you to address the Afrikaans vs English thing.............

[Lou]

my body doesn't get used to hormonal bc. I get grouchy or I get sick and throw up.

[Jael]

Another PCOSer here - I had good luck with yasmin and loads of trouble with any of the tricyclics. Everyone is different - you pretty much have to keep trying different formulations till you find the right one.

Unfortunately for me every pill I tried killed my sex drive (even with high testosterone levels?? figure that one out).

It was like night and day coming off birthcontrol pills for the first time in YEARS. I was like "hey! so THIS is what's been missing!" Still haven't gotten the level of sex drive I had in my 20's - but at least I have one now!

Anyhow - if this pill isn't working out for you ask your obgyn about switching to a new one? My assvice for the day ;)

[Kristen]

Pill: I'm with most others, give it 2-3 months, and if it's still making you nuts, try another type. I just went through this with my HMO -- I was on a particular brand (Orthocyclen, which is similar to OrthoTricyclen but steady dose instead of increasing each week), and loved it. Boobs went from B to C cup, and if I was moody or had a low/high sex drive at certain points, it was at least predictable. I got the OC through Planned Parenthood when I had no insurance. Then I got insurance, ran out of pills, and needed a GYN exam anyway; they told me the HMO pharmacy didn't carry OC, try Levlen instead. TOTAL DISASTER! No sex drive unless I was late taking a pill, and I'm convinced it aggravated my stress-induced depression. Two months later, I begged for them to switch me back. Turns out OC is on the "special order" list, and as a substitute it costs me 3x as much as the Levlen ($5 for 2 months vs. $15). So worth it though, started my OC again this week, and I feel so much better (and I've got a sex drive again)!

[metamanda]

i agree on the tri-cyclics... they made me so subtly, mildly depressed that I didn't even realize until I switched pills (because I had switched insurance) and suddenly felt good. insidious little f*ckers. i'm doing pretty well on orthocyclen, which has very low hormone levels. I was a little, though not terribly, off for a couple months, and then fine. Even now, I am paranoid that they are doing something subtle to my mood, so once or twice a year I go off for a month or two just to see how I'm doing. good luck!

[Egg Donor]

First, please don't kick the dog! It's like kicking a baby - he doesn't know he's misbehaving. At least Marko can defend himself!

I hate the pill. I signed up to be an egg donor and I didn't hear anything from the clinic for 9 months. At that point, my birth control Rx ran out and I turned to DH and said "What a perfect time for you to get that vasectomy!" So off we headed to "the snip". After telling the doctor "Yes, we know he's only 25. Yes, we really don't want kids," he snipped away. "Finally," I thought, "Freedom from that freaking pill!!" I lost about 7 pounds, felt great all around. Then, the clinic called to sign me up for my first cycle. That meant getting back on the pill. I am on my 6th donation cycle now, with no break between them (I donate, go on the pill for a month, and then donate again the next month - god I'm popular..ok...my *eggs* are popular). Basically, I've been on this stupid big dose pill for over a year, combined with giant hormonal swings from the gonal-f and repronex. I'm still going to keep donating, but damn if I won't complain about it!

Self-centered rant over, I'm sorry about all your sadness and irritation. I hope you can take a lovely afternoon for yourself before then - have a nice lunch, treat yourself, and prepare for what comes next. I'll be thinking of you...

[Lily]

never got used to the pill. can't take hormonal b/c. makes me incredibly depressed/angry/pms-y all the time, no matter what pill or shot it is.

[RegularCinderella]

Okay, this is so far OT...but I missed the homosexual dog story...and this little part of me just NEEDS to know why...

I'm another girl who can't take the pill...I was a crying, screaming, bitchy, psychotic mess while on most of them. Lot's 'o' fun, I tell ya.

I couldn't see close up of your babies. *Sniff*

[S]

I went through several pills before I found one I could live with. I started with the low dose brands because too high a dose can cause lots of symptoms in itself. Alesse caused BTB and one other made me a complete nutball. I remember crying about tacos for some reason. And in my experience, chances are if you're seeing major symptoms initially, they're not going to go away in 2-3 months. Just switch to another brand with different versions of the hormones and save yourself the time and misery. The one I have now (Mircette) had absolutely NO side effects, which was great, and I would try others until you find one that does the same for you. No need to be crazy.

[elizabeth]

I agree with everyone who has said to give it a shot for a couple more months and then see about switching. I tried three kinds before settiling in to something tolerable. Also, your hormones could be reacting especially strongly because they are not yet straightened out from pregnancy and childbirth. (My son is nine months and I have yet to have a period, so it can take a while.)

Good luck going back to work. I agree with the woman who said not to feel guilty if you end up enjoying some parts of being out of the house. Of course you will miss Kate and Adam and feel sad, but you know you are doing what is best for you and them in the long run. Plus, you get to eat with two hands! In silence! Yay!

[Neety]

No, no, not the dog Tertia! Maybe husband, (gently) but not the poor homo-dog! :-)

My body gets used to the pill pretty quickly and I don't really get any side effects. Although I do get headaches in the week I get my period, pretty much every day.

Also, I heard that the pill might make my boobs bigger - but after 8 years on the pill, I'm still waiting...

[Christel]

Will be thinking of you on Tuesday...

[Tatiana]

Hope you'll get used to being a working mom very soon. There are some positives in that, I promise!
And if your husband takes notice in you going an extra mile to be Extra G&D, than do make that effort of a little mascara and a pretty dress.
Love

[Ute]

As for the pill, I never "got used" to any pill I felt miserable with in the beginning. I always had to change brands until I found one I was comfortable with straight away. Hopefully it'll be different for you.

[Sarah]

Joining in on kicking the pill: assvice alert. Ortho Tri ruined me. It was only the miraculous putting two and two together--that I'd been batshit crazy since switching from biphasic--that saved me. I only gave it two months, but I've heard many stories about tri-phasics and how they make you angry and depressed.

Good luck going back to work! I'm sure you'll handle it with grace and humor, just like everything else.

[becky]

I'm PCO too, and you may need to be on another pill. I don't know which one they have you on, but for me the low dose pills worked best: Ovcont 35, Diane 35, Yasmin. Most recently, my doc put me on the Nuvaring (we were taking a TTC break to get my hormones under control). I LOVED the nuvaring! REALLY low dose, and you just stick in your hoo haw for 3 weeks and forget about it! You take it out for a week/month to get a period. Taht's it! So easy and you can't even feel it in there. You can remove it to have sex if you want, or you can leave it in. *Most* men say they can't feel it. My hyperaware husband swore he could, so I'd just take it out for lovin'. Anyway, you might want to look into the Nuvaring because it's good for us PCOSers.

[Michele]

I've spoken with several people who have had crazy reactions (as in they feel crazy) to the pill after having a baby (myself included). Have you tried the nuva ring? It's wonderful!

[sara]

I second the vote on estrostep--it was the pill that made me the least icky. It also.. err. made the libido go rather.. *snicker* Insane. Let's put it this way, if it has the same impact on you, and you decided to ever go off of it, Marko would buy it on the black market and put it in your morning tea.

[Health Nut]

Do yourself and your family a HUGE favour and get yourself the Mary-Ann Shearer Books. I was placed on Yasmin after being on Minulette for 15 years and begain to feel bulimic from all the throwing up, sorry to sound negative but Yasmin is pure poisen to your system, and actually any form of contraceptive pill is. Mary Ann deals with the Endocrine system and as radical as she seems, and as difficult it is to digest her very honest approach to health, it will save your's and your family's lives in the future. She bases her theories on the Endocrine system (our body's hormonal system, we have dozen's of hormones to make our body function properly, not just the reproductive ones we all know) and even though it takes balls to read her findings, it is the only way to go. She has recently written a book on children too, VERY VERY interesting read. Her site is www.mary-anns.com. I can vouch for having lost 12 kg's in four months, and never felt healthier and better in my life, not to mention have a normal period with NO, I repeat NO PMS whatsoever, my migraines have totally dissapeared, and I don't suffer the depression I have suffered since my teens. My husband suffered panic attacks and since the change in our diet he is 100% fine. Take a look, hope it helps.