Firstly, the whole pg I was dying to say “I never bled, not once!” Which is v unusual for a multiple pg and an IVF pg. I never said it cos I was scared to jinx things. But I can say it now. Guess what! I never bled once the whole time I was pg. Cool huh?
Then, have you noticed that I never refer to the babes as ‘the twins’. I never call them that. All the books say that you shouldn’t call them ‘the twins’ cos you need to recognize them as individuals and not just as twins, blah blah fishpaste. But I haven’t not called them ‘the twins’ cos of that. I think because their conception was so scientific, so ‘on purpose’ that I think of them as brother and sister rather than twins. I don’t call them the twins, I call them the babes, the critters or occasionally as the little fuckers. Marko doesn’t like the last name. No idea why.
Then, some of you might think “That Tertia is such a sweet woman, she never bitches about her in laws, her siblings, her friends, her boss, her co workers etc”. There is a reason why folks. And it is not because I am sweet. Far from it. In fact you probably never thought I was sweet at all. Assholes.
People I can’t speak about:
The In Laws – SIL reads blog
The siblings – BIL, sister and brother read blog
Parents – see above, siblings would tell
Friends – they all read my blog
Husband – SIL might tell husband
Co-workers – co-workers read blog
Boss – boss doesn’t read blog or else I might get fired. But co-workers might tell boss.
My old RE – he reads my blog. Or at least he used to when I was a patient of his. Hi Doc!
Julie – Because I am pretending to be BF’s with her.
So I am reduced to speaking about me. And being v sweet about every one else. Damn. That’s the price you pay for being out the closet.
Whatever you call them, they're adorable. Oh, and FIRST!
Posted by: mary | 20 April 2005 at 02:07 PM
I call mine yard apes, no neck monsters, and once in awhile little jerks. Therapy isn't all that expensive.
Posted by: Lisa V | 20 April 2005 at 02:23 PM
I sometimes think that we should all create a new anonymous blog space where we can bitch about those people in privacy. Esp. the husbands. ;)
Posted by: LPF | 20 April 2005 at 02:39 PM
Tertia-
I am a twin, all grown up now, and I don't think being referred to as "the twins" hurt me one bit. I think it actually made me feel more special. Anyway - the only thing I REALLY wish that my parents did differently about raising twins was to have either 1)placed us in day care or a play group while we were little or 2) not separated us when we started school (school policy). Because Mom stayed home with us and we didn't socialize with other kids much, we were ill-equipped to deal with social interaction at the age of 6. Plus the shock of suddenly being separated was a bit traumatic.
Anyway - I love your blog and read it daily. Good luck with the babies! Look forward to hearing more about your adventures!
Posted by: Alisa | 20 April 2005 at 04:06 PM
I can sooooooooooo relate you and your non-postage about your relatives...I'm in the same boat. MANY MANY MANY MANY times I have wanted to just spew on my 'puter about my ILs (mostly my SIL - DH's side) and my brother, but heaven help me if I do because every last relative of ours reads my dern page! So, I just have to verbally hash it out with DH, and he's not near as much fun as my online friends!
Posted by: Judy | 20 April 2005 at 04:32 PM
My mom was friends all through school with identical twins named Jane and Jean. They used to say, "Oh, if you can't remember which one I am, don't worry--just call me 'Twin' and I'll answer!" Can you imagine the strange sense of self you'd have to have to be at that point as a 14-year-old? Yikes.
Posted by: Moxie | 20 April 2005 at 04:44 PM
I haven't ranted about my relatives yet even though my two-month-old blog is anonymous. You know, these people just aren't that fascinating! But I reserve the right to trash them on occasion, since I doubt they'll be reading my blog...
Posted by: Orange | 20 April 2005 at 05:01 PM
me too, Tertia- I told too many people about my blog ( I just wanted someone to read it for heaven's sake- no one needed to pass judgement! My mother once e-mailed me that I shoudl delete a post because it pretty much wasn't ladylike. I didn't even respond to the e-mail let alone delete the post!)- you can always rant andraver then just put it in the hidden posts- that way you have it, even if the rest of the world doesn't :-)
oh. I never bled either lol!
Posted by: Lou | 20 April 2005 at 05:05 PM
You're welcome to bitch about my relative. I'm rich with material for you...
Posted by: socal | 20 April 2005 at 05:31 PM
I've told way to many people about mine, too!
Posted by: Debe | 20 April 2005 at 05:55 PM
I have the same problem. And my sister has been being such a beeyatch to me as of late and I have no outlet for it. sigh.
Posted by: Alana | 20 April 2005 at 05:58 PM
Hee, hee, you're funny. I loved that you won't speak about Julie because of the pretending you do. Don't feel bad I pretend to like her too! Heh, j/k
Posted by: AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch | 20 April 2005 at 06:45 PM
Right on, sister. I have a world of things I wish I could blog about the two weeks my mother spent with us after the baby was born. But my sisters read it, and loose lips sink ships, if you get my drift.
I might just have to start a nightmare blog (aka "the blog nobody knows about").
Posted by: Ellen | 20 April 2005 at 06:53 PM
I'm still cookin' mine, but I am referring to them as "the twins" already (or "the freaks" as the odds of my having identical twins at 44 is just that, FREAKISH... but co-workers began looking at me oddly, so I stopped).
We are also struggling with the whole name concept: current twin theory is don't name them anything too close or cutesy (okay, but what about the same beginning consonant?). Adam and Kate works very well. Both together as a unit and apart as individuals.
And then I think why am I struggling over the best name for these children when the chance of Baby A keeping the name given at the moment of birth are somewhat haphazard given that there are times when I probably wouldn't be able to keep my shoes straight if it didn't hurt to put them on the wrong feet?
I think I'll just stand over their crib at 2 months and say, "Okay one of you is XXX and one of you is XXX, work it out yourselves". Oh dear.
Kel
Posted by: Kel | 20 April 2005 at 07:11 PM
So you mean when my Mom called me Fuck Face...she really loved me?
*sigh* I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside now!
*wink*
I'm outed too so It's hard to write sometimes.
Posted by: Terri | 20 April 2005 at 07:37 PM
big sigh. my sister is on many of the same boards that i'm on. god, she's a fucked up mess. and i can't say a word.
Posted by: tiana | 20 April 2005 at 07:53 PM
i am not out about my blog, except to my father. he's the only person i know who reads it.. besides friends i've met through my space. i don't dare to put it in my signature in my email, as i sometimes write bad things about folks in my community.. and being that i have to work with them, i don't want it known what i REALLY think about some of them. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha okay, its not that bad, but there are days when i want it to be! seriously, though, it is my place for my mind and then to have folks in the community make comments, it would make me feel rather self conscious.. i'd have to filter it.
Posted by: brooke | 20 April 2005 at 08:49 PM
My father always called me the rotten child. That's what I call mine.
But always with love.
You need to set up another blog to whine about all those people without your picture on ie!!!!
Posted by: Scully | 20 April 2005 at 08:53 PM
But - but - I read your blog, and you're always saying mean shit about me.
Asshole.
Posted by: Mollie | 20 April 2005 at 09:02 PM
blah blah fishpaste!
lol!
Posted by: usako | 20 April 2005 at 09:31 PM
I have the same problems...Some of the people I so dearly want to bitch and complain about...read the blog...and if they aren't the actual person...then in most cases, they're directly connected in so way.
Grrr Gotta hate it...
About the twin thing, I don't have twins but I think you've chosen a rather wonderful way to talk about them. hehe And of course, the simple fact that you will encourage the individuality is awesome. You & Marko are such wonderful parents!
BTW I think the "blah blah fishpaste" statement was quite hilarious too.
Posted by: Blondie | 20 April 2005 at 10:23 PM
I have an idea! Why don't we complain about our relatives on *each other's* blogs so our unsuspecting kin won't, um, suspect.
My sister was bitchy and guilt-inducing and made me cry on the phone Sunday. There, I've said it.
Oh, and Tertia, you could probably refer to Adam and Kate as "the ankle biters," and they'll still grow up to think you're divine.
Posted by: Becki | 21 April 2005 at 07:16 AM
I think it would be counter productive to write about families and the effed up crap they pull.
Best to just shut up about it -- tho I really never shut up about anything.
Posted by: blackbird | 21 April 2005 at 01:03 PM
It's quite funny how when people look at your new born and say "he/she looks just like the wife/husband/in laws/postman/co-worker etc" when actually all new borns actually look like scrotums.
So my point is you should embrace the name calling while you have the opportunity. How often in life do you get the chance to call someone a "little fucker" with no chance of getting poked in the eye with a sharp object?
PS: Don't bitch about me. I know where you live.
Posted by: BIL | 21 April 2005 at 01:15 PM
I rarely refer to mine as the twins either. I usually call them by their names or the kids. As a matter of fact, when people ask me how the twins, I instantly respond with "who?".
Posted by: Kim | 24 April 2005 at 01:15 AM