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Of course you love her - ginormous eyes and all. :) It'll get better. Meanwhile, how I love to hear of such normal things as burps and nappy changes.

It will get easier, Tertia. They haven't sorted out night and day yet, and they will, soon. They'll still wake up then, but not for long, and you'll get feeding them half asleep down to a fine art. My twins are 14 now, so I can tell you with certainty, that this bit doesn't last. Now I'm lucky to get their attention at all!

Be kind to yourself. You are doing a fine job, and there will be sleep again, soon.


Hang in there. You are doing a fabulousjob. I am very impressed that you still have the energy to update your site. That's gotta say something, right? Your babies are gorgeous and like everyone has told you a million times already...it will get easier and better.

Dude, mine is broken too. Isn't there some kind of a warranty? I love her so hard it hurts, but damn, it's been one hell of a year. Other Mommies, tell me 3 is a better age...please?

It feels like it's going to last forever, doesn't it? As if you will NEVER have a full night's sleep again. But you WILL, promise. And when that time comes, you will be yearning for those early baby days (daze?) again and looking back with more fondness than you can imagine. Sounds crazy, but it's true.

You're doing an amazing job - I truly admire you!

Tertia you're an inspiration - keep on keeping on and you're doing a fabulous job.

HA! I will not tell you how many times I've said to my DH " infants are only so cute because it's their only self- defense mechanism!"

Otherwise, I'd have traded mine in for a cruise with a good spa before they were 2 weeks old!

Hang in there...i know it's rough but it will get easier...that's why they're so cute, to keep you from returning them! ;-)

"leaks, sqeaks and moans" is such a great string of words.
Keep going slugger!


I just found your blog and will read it more. I have read a bit. My fraternal twin girls will be 3 on March 1st. They were born at 31 weeks and just over 3 pounds each. We conceived them on Clomid. They came home after a month in the NICU at 4lbs 5 oz each. They never slept and wanted to eat every 1-1/2 to 3 hours but never at the same time.

My Mother in Law, husband and me finally took shifts but some nights I only got 1 hour of sleep. Looking back, I would have made my husband get up more. I was a zombie and too tired to cry. Probably had a touch of PPD but not willing to admit it. They both ended up with colic which was horrible - very stressful on my marriage. My MIL became one of my best friends (never thought that would happen) - she was so supportive and said the things I needed to hear. She also stayed about half the week for the first 3 months.

My friends didn't understand especially those who had infertility issues as well. I loved them but it was so overwhelming and my friends just wanted to hear how perfect everything was. Eventually, that's what I told them.

I went back to work when they were 4 months old. They went to daycare and were sick the first year. I really don't remember much of the first year.

It does get easier but it takes awhile. Once the sleeping gets better, everything gets better. I did find a twins club when they were a month old and that was the best thing. The women in my group understood how I felt (and about 1/2 had went through infertility treatments). I also have a smaller group of twin mom friends that have kids within a few months of my kids' age. They have been wonderful and so supportive.

The girls are almost 3 and things are great (and I mean that too!). I wish you the best of luck! You will do great!

Take care,

One day soon (soon being a relative term) you will wake up with a start, look at the clock and say "oh my goodness, they've both been asleep for 5 hours straight, something dreadful must have happened" and you will go look in their crib, and they will be sleeping peacefully.

And then your life will begin again.

It really is a mystery how we survive these early days. Around 5-6 weeks, Kate or Adam will smile at you -- really smile at you -- and it will all be worth it.

I'll be honest. The first 4 months with my twins are a blur of crying, theirs and mine, exhaustion and wondering why I thought twins would be fun.

Now that they are older, they are so much fun! I would not trade them for anything in the world. But I would never want twins again. LOL At least not newborn ones.

Now I know why my friends with twins laughed at me when I talked about how wonderful having two babies at once would be. They knew... I was clueless. HAHA

Hold on Tertia, it will get better. I promise.

You're doing great. Sometime after their first big growth spurt, you'll shake your head and cry at how far you've all come and it'll be fanstastic. Hang in there. We're rooting for you.

I swear by the three things helped me, and my preemie was born a few weeks before yours (but then, I only have one). The tea I emailed you about, swaddling and a bedtime bath. I posted a similar thing on my blog and I was told to read Elizabeth Pantley's book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"... you can get the basic idea on Amazon.com... it has some good ideas.
Here is wishing you sleep soon!

OH! I totally did the bedtime bath!!! I would give dd a nice warm bath using the soothing lavendar bat wash and then a nice warm bottle. Knocked her right out!!!

Hope you find what works for you Tertia. The kiddos are gorgeous!! You're doing great.

I don't know anything about this, just thought I'd offer my support. Hang in there and keep doing the blog thing!

Nobody call me a bad mother for saying this, but when Xavier was brand new I would sleep sitting up in bed holding him on pillows. The trick was to get the pillows positioned right so that he wouldn't go anywhere. He never rolled off and I woke up whenever he moved anyways but I got some much needed rest that way. I stopped even trying to lay him down because he just woke up immediately anyways so there wasn't any point. Hang in there mama, you're doing great!

Hmmm if I had a dollar for everytime I threatend to trade my two in for a better model I'd be a rich lady by now!

You had so much encouragement... so now I dare to tell you the terrible truth (DONT read on if you can't stand it yet):

since my eldest was born (and he's 15 by now), I never had a full night's sleep any more. Even after my children finally learnt to spend the night sleeping. It was too late. My sleeping patterns are simply ruined.

I get up at night, I tuck them in (the boys are taller than me by now), I count their breath, I make sure there's no boa constrictor sitting on their beds (they would love it!) and I stare at the moon, the stars, you name it. I sleep for max. 4 hours at night.

All those years of disturbed sleep broke some little spring inside me that tells me "now it's time to sleep". I will doze off on the sofa, the kids around, playing. But in my silent bed, no chance. I can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep, impossible.

I wish I could give you these waking hours and hold your babies (oh I would LOVE to!). Life is so un-economical. And I wonder whether there are other mothers with a similar syndrome... it's really weird.

And I wish you from my heart that you will go back to normal sleeping patterns ASAP... love to you and your gorgeous babies.

I swear that Mother Nature makes babies as adorable and lovable as they are with good reason. If anyone else kept us up all night, we'd throw them out the nearest window.

There's a better behaved model? Sign me up!

Baby Sit Ups!

Lay Adam on your lap. His head at your knees, feet at your belly. Hold his torso and slowly pull him up and back down like he was doing little baby sit-ups. Best way to work out a burp and get a toned tummy. What more could a baby ask for?

I haven't read all the comments yet, but with my little boy I learned that the less eye contact I made with him the better the chance he would fall asleep. I know you love to look into her ginormous eyes, but that might be actually stimulating her and keeping her awake longer. I remember months of putting my little guy down and not looking him in the face at any cost! I hope you get some sleep soon, I only vaguely remember that phase, I'm now into the transition from crib to big boy bed, and trust me you don't sleep then either!!! We were probably up at the same time last night, sadly my little one is 2 years-old!

I remember when Christian was about 3 weeks old. He made strange noises, he was hard to burp, he was breathing very loud, his left eye started leaking, and there was a strange rash on his face. I was convinced I had broken him! I only had him 3 weeks and I broke him already. He got better and quieter, and your two will too. In the words of my Pediatrician, "You guys are just working out the kinks"

I meant to add that we have gas drops here in the states (mylicon drops) ask your ped about them. here we can get them over the counter in any drug store.I can'y live w/o them. my baby is a very hard burp.

My frequent refrain on days when I am exhausted or too frustrated is that I would like to trade them in for the same make and model with a better attitude.

Any mom who says they don't reach this level of frustration is lying through her teeth. We all hit that point. The difference is the good mommies work through it...we vent to our parteners or friends and then we get back to being a mom. You are good mommy.

I recall a night when my little girl was about 3 weeks old... it was about 3am... she hadn't been to sleep yet, my older son would be up in about 3 hours... in my state of exhaustion I burst into tears and yelled at her, "Please go to sleep!" Funny, that didn't work. But she did get the hang of it... eventually... and became a champion sleeper. Kate will too.

There's nothin' like a good poop.
Hang in there, sister.

now...not that I have the full picture, but can't your husband do some of the burping and bottle feedings? I was always the one up in the night caring for the baby, unless he needed to nurse...i couldnt do that!
I hope you have support, that's all.

they are probably still too young for this, but if CX is not wanting to sleep, i will lie with him (i'm on my left side) with his head in the crook of my left arm, his body facing me. he'll feel all over my face and pull my lips and talk, but if i pretend to sleep--someone else said this, too--he will eventually get the picture and nods off.

cherylb and i did more or less the same thing. the thing i used was a boppy--the breastfeeding pillow--although it has a bajillion NOT FOR SLEEPING notes all over it. i would lean up against our headboard/wall, put CX on my lap, nurse him until we both fell asleep, and that was that. if he so much as stirred an eyelash, i knew about it.

i know it's rough right now. it will get better.

Do you have that expression in S. Africa about selling your child to the gypsies? Very un-PC. Anyway, I used to tell my son that he was v. v. lucky that gypsies were too smart to buy a kid who cried as much as he did.

Sounds like you're doing a great job.

I am a lurker, but I can identify with your pain somewhat. I just wanted to tell you that it is totally normal to feel the way you do. I gave birth to my second child in June. I love him tremendously, but it has been rough. I honestly don't remember the first 3 months of his life, except for in glimpses. We moved out of our home 2 weeks before he was born, my huband was returning to school to do a residency. He left the day after I came home from the hospital. My newborn, by 22 month old, and I were shuttling around in different relative's homes. Then at 2 weeks, I moved halfway across the country with the babies to join a husband always on call, never at home. It was very difficult, and I have struggled with enormous feelings of guilt. I constantly feel like one child or the other is being slighted in some way. I never sleep, still when he is 8 months old and she is 2.5. It is difficult. But one big hug or smile and all the frustration disappears. Plus, I am at the point with the baby that he is a HUGE amount of fun. My favorite thing is watching the children interact with each other. You will get there - it takes time. And you are normal for wishing for a glass of wine and some sleep! Hang in there!

Ahh yes..cuteness. That's their defense mechanism...otherwise, humans would have died out long ago ;-)

It will get better. The first smile is on its way - you'll want to sell them less frequently then. Then its sitting up, crawling, walking, talking (wait until they say mama). All of the good stuff will come and these really hard days will be a memory. From my experience the first couple of months are just crap. I didn't know what I was doing, my daughter was so new - just getting her to burp , eat, sleep was a daily struggle. I thought I'd never get through it, I wanted to give her to someone competent because I knew I wasn't good enough. She's 3 1/2 now. She survived, I survived. I know everyone says this, but you will look back on this time in amazement and pride because you got through it and on to the better stuff.

I was always in charge of the sleeping, while my daughter's other mom was in charge of the feeding. (Not exclusively, of course, but we specialized.) When I was silently BEGGING the kid to fall asleep, and wondering why you can feed a baby and change a baby but you can't "sleep" one, I learned from some other wise person, about how to get them to close their eyes. If you put your finger in the middle of their forehead, and draw it down, over the tip of their nose, their eyes follow it, and very often close. If you do it, slowly, softly, several times, it's a relaxing sort of petting, and it can really get the kid to close their eyes and nod off. I couldn't believe I actually finally knew a "mom trick" that worked fpr me.

Good, good luck. This time will pass.

When my daughter was brand-new, I actually, in my sleep deprived state, called the hospital to ask if I could bring her back.

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