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Water?!?! Are you taking Kate out for midnight Skinny Dipping or something? Who the heck cares about the water?

(oh yah... remembering it's HOT there now... not frigid like in the States. LOL)

Anxious for Adam to get his cute tiny butt home. ;-)

XOXOXO
TSB

I read your About page, and my heart just hurt for you. How wonderful you must feel now to have two babies! Congatulations, and I hate burping babies, too!

Baby love,

I promise you, the first three months are the worst. It will get better. It will.

(Not that I have been there myself. But I have seen it many a time, and I have it on good authority from those who have been there.)

Tertia-

Come on in girl. If we must suffer, you must suffer the cold with us my dear. We promise that as you slowly go under you will feel nothing. Heee Heee. You'll get the hang of it in no time. Minutes seem like hours (unless you are sleeping), hours seem like days and days like years.

Welcome to our swim club. Didn't we tell you it was great!

All I can say is that the first month I cried every. single. day.
By the end of the second month I was more comfortable, but still overwhelmed and exhausted.
Once they start smiling and actually interacting with you it definitely makes you feel more like a mommy and less like just the feeder, nappy changer, rocking machine.
I think the turning point for me was around 6 months when they learned to sit on their own. It takes the pressure off you when they can entertain themselves a little more. Now, at almost 19 months, I enjoy sitting back and watching them play with one another as well as on their own. This age presents it's own challenges, but overall I am happy to say the water warms up quite nicely given time (and experience).
Congratulations to you!

I second the interacting post. Their smiles will warm up the water. ;-)

Hi Tertia,

Just de-lurking after reading up on you from time to time, and then really coming back today. I just wanted to congratulate you be-latedly on the birth of your beatiful twins. I've been doing some catch-up reading, and I can't get over the road you've traveled. I too will remember Ben and Luke, and admire what you and your family have been through. The way you've written it here is amazingly honest, real, humorous at times, and touching. I'm grateful to have found your space on the web.

Have fun getting wet tonight. Nothing like bring tossed in without a wet suit for warmth (or heck, a flotation device for 3am feedings and changes that last till 7am) but to go with what has been mentioned above - it will be better in 1 1/2 months to 3 months and you'll sailing!

I know you can do it! Take care!
Becca

Oh, the first three or four or five months.

Yeah, I didn't look back on those times fondly until the kid became a teenager and he's seriously irritating me right now. The only way I keep from wringing his neck is remember the halycon days of his first year.

In fifteen years you will think the same way - these will be the halycon days.

It will get better.

Thank you so much for the updates!

The water just takes a while to warm up, is all. I know you are tired and overwhelmed and scared you are doing everything wrong, but rest easy in knowing that every single new mother feels exactly the same way. Once you get into a routine (even if it is a routine of not having a "routine" per se) you will start to feel less overwhelmed and nervous. Once you get a hang of the basics: feeding, burping, changing, bathing, these things will become second nature and will not frustrate you.

I love that you can now be called "Mom". You will get countless advice from people and everyone wants to help you enjoy your new babies as much as possible. The best advice I can give is that it will all work out. Cry when you need to, feel like a failure when you need to, and ask for help when you need to. Nobody will ever think less of you for feeling overwhelmed, they will be happy you asked them for help/advice.

Oh, and the burping? I never really burped my kids. One belched like a champ all on her own, and the other doesn't really burp at all. In fact, at 12 months old, he is the least gassy kid I have met. I actually notice if he burps because it is such a rare occurance. So maybe Kate isn't much of a burper?

Oh, and if the ugly colic (said in a whisper so Kate won't hear me)ever rears its ugly head, email me. I have stared that demon head on and survived, as did my daughter, which is the more amazing feat.

Love, Karyn

I totally agree with "even if it is a routine of not having a "routine" per se". It's amazing how total kaos becomes the norm, and you're ok with that!

In a few weeks, this time will be a blur.

I don't know which one of us cried more during the first 6 weeks of my daughter's life (my daughter or me). My husband went so far as to say she was "bullying" me.

It gets better. I PROMISE.

As a mom of twins YOU CAN DO IT!! Bloody hard in the beginning but so worth it.. At the time I had a 4.5 year old too. The catch word around our house was ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. (I think it also helped that I learned with my first born that they WILL survive and a messy house is a GOOD thing, means you are tending to your babies and not trying to be supermom!)

Congratulations on your wonderful misery, haha. Delurking to say I'm glad to hear your normal complaints of parenthood. It's so great to hear that your worries and struggles now are the common ones of every mother with a new baby. Looks like you've made it to that water, and I'm sure you'll learn to swim in no time. Congrats!

aww honey, you are doing a fine job and will continue to do a fine job when adam gets home!

One day you will find yourself telling Adam and Kate the story they love to hear again and again: the first few weeks with babies. "And we really didn't let you sleep at all?" I have no twins, no, but I have a daughter who was premature (32 weeks, 1200 kg) when her elder brothers were 3 years and 1,5 years old. I was so tired I could have slept in any position - if they had just let me.

The first few weeks are a blur, don't worry, we've all been there. All of a sudden you will find yourself the competent mother of wonderfully developing kids. You won't know how you got there, and you don't believe today you will ever get there. But you will. I promise you that in about four months you will find yourself dishing out advice and encouragement to new mothers.

I know it's hard, I remember my frustration and feeling of being inadequate. You have my and every other mother's empathy. And I envy you for these magic times that are still ahead. Love and blessings to all of you.

PS: MORE PICS!!!!

Hmmm...the water warms up eventually, but you may be too tired to realize it. LOL And just when it gets nice and cozy warm, Adam and Kate will enter a new phase, thus thrusting you back into the ice water yet again. It's a constant challenge to stay afloat, especially the first few months.
Hang in there. Adam and Kate are very lucky to have you for their mommy.

Tertia,

I don't have twins, but let me tell you a schedule is the best thing to get things warmed up. Do bath at the same time every day. They will set up there own eating schedule and set up a bedtime routine. With mine, I would give a bath, give a bottle and rock him to sleep. It got to a point where the bath would just make hime sleppy because he knew it was time for bed shortly. Also, during middle of the night feeding, get a very low wattage light bulb to put in a lamp. Just enough to see to get to the crib and stick a bottle in Kate and Adam's mouth. Too much light will wake them up and keep them up. This really worked well for me.

Sorry if this is assvice. I am sure you are doing a fabulous jon already though. You will be and old pro before too long.

Love ya!

When I first brought my first baby home, it was so overwhelming....what I did was not allow myself to think more than ten minutes ahead.

Within about six weeks, things got into a routine and I was okay.

You will be just fine.

I guess it would be rude to run around the edge of the pool, waving my arms, yelling, "Everybody dunk Tertia!"

Thinking of you and your babies.

Tertia

Hang in there, the intial water is cold but you know what, it does warm up! You are doing a great job with kate and will do the same with adam!

Go with your instincts, and may God continue to bless yoru family

YES! The water will most definitely warm up in a couple of weeks. I'm assuming that when you add another baby into the mix, it just might get a LOT colder for a while there, but I trust that having twins isn't different than having a singleton in that while it may be very hard and overwhelming at the beginning, eventually you find your groove and things settle down quite nicely.

Thinking of you! Oh, and more pictures, pretty please! ;)

I can totally relate! The first few months were an absolute blur and I could not believe this is what I had wanted so desperately. I couldn't get my twins on a schedule in the early days and felt each day was just absolute chaos. For me, smiling and cooing made some difference but it really changed at about 6mo when they crawled and babbled and were more like real people. We are closing in on two now and this second year has been so much more fun and rewarding.

Hang in there! It will get better. One day at a time!

Alix

Yes, the water is ALMOST unbearable the first two-three months. My twin boys will be one on Feb.10 and the trauma of the first bit is still fresh. Like others have said, having a fairly tight schedule is what kept me sane. I woke 'em every 3 hours during the day to feed and after like, midnight, I just let them sleep. (Yeah, right.) And I kept them awake after each feed (except at night)for as long as possible. (diaper change, rattle, clothes change, whatever...) Honestly, after 6-8 weeks, they would only be up once between 11 and 7. I could handle that. By 4 months, they were sleeping 8 hours or so, with 4 naps during the day. We're now down to 2 naps and about 10-12 hours at night. There is light at the end of this tunnel.

As for burping, they will burp on thier own, eventually, if needed. It's not like they will explode if you don't pat them for hours. At this age, I would stop feeding every 2oz or so and burp, but they didn't always do it. You can even just rub thier backs and they may burp. Don't sweat it. This too shall pass.

Anyway, this is probably enough preaching for one day. So thrilled for you and your babes. They are precious. Don't feel badly if you cry everyday in this cold water, I did. Just wanted to let you know if I can make it, you SURE can. You are one strong mama.
Take care, the water will warm up.
Kathy

Of course the water will take some time to get used to, sweetie! Trust me (and you can have this confirmed by the comments received): there are no new moms who feel like they know what the hell they are doing. It is scary and brand new and exciting and exhausting and wonderful and a shitload of other things all at once.
But you can do it. You have already shown yourself to be an amazing woman, one with strength beyond comprehension and grace and beauty to boot. Just know that sometimes it will suck, and that is OK. Ask for help when you need it, cry if you want to, and realize that a lot will be trial and error. You won't break your babies. You will learn together.

Love to you and the babies...can't wait to see more pictures!

Tertia, the best advice I ever got was to wait 8 weeks. At 8 weeks everything will settle down. If you can just make it to 8 weeks you'll be golden.

Of course, I got this advice when my son was about 18 months! But I did put it into practice for his little sister... and it was true. By 8 weeks she was acting like a normal baby instead of some alien child who refused to sleep when it was dark out.

8 weeks.

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