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Hi Tertia,

And, guess what *you* will be doing today?? Go fetch yourself a nice glass of wine, run yourself a bath, and then go to sleep!

You know, a friend of mine (whose daughter is now three) told me that she caught up on all the latest music videos when her baby was born and wanted to stay up all night and sleep during the day. Anything good on late-night TV in SA?

Thinking of you, and wishing I could help in person! Hang in there, you'redoing a fabulous job!


I'd keep them busy during the day doing chores - never too early to learn to keep a type A room, drawing you baths, fetching you glasses of wine, peeling you grapes. Then they'd be exhausted and sleep at night. Frankly, don't see why you didn't think of that before, must I tell you everything???

Babies are TOUGH! Sleep deprivation is the worst. My daughter (now 2) was SO tough I swore I would never, ever have another. She didn't even sleep through the night until she was 18 months. But now (after 8 months of blissful sleep) I'm already sentimental about when she was tiny and I've started to think I might like another. Definitely a design fault (or nature's way of making sure the human race doesn't die out!)

You might want to try co-sleeping with your babes. We co-slept with our daughter until a few months after her 3rd birthday. I found that other than the sheer pleasure of having her close and knowing she was safe, it made nighttime wake-ups much easier to handle. Less disrupting to both the parent and baby. And babies usually sleep better when they're physically close to a caregiver (as you've clearly already found out). It also helps prevent SIDS as the babies take their breathing cues from the co-sleeping parent. I'm sure this is a bit more challenging with twins, but it's something you might want to consider. Related to this you could check out James & Martha Sears books which talk about attachment parenting (including co-sleeping) and a host of other baby issues. I found their advice to be very useful and down to earth and really connected with what our instincts seem to be telling us to do with our babies. I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago (a friend turned me on to it) and am really enjoying hearing about your experiences. I went through 4 miscarriages to have my daughter and finally carrying a baby to term and raising her has been the most wonderful (and challenging) thing I've ever done. Although having to go through a lot of difficulties to have a child does make you feel incredibly grateful to have one finally, it doesn't change how hard it is to do it. You're doing an amazing job and your love and passion for those babies is what will make the difference. A good friend of mine had twins at the same time I had my daughter and she definitely had a harder time than I did in the beginning, but things did eventually get better. Keep asking for help and cut yourself a lot of slack. FYI, my blog which talks about me and my daughter is yikes.typepad.com/meandmygirl/

Oh girl - complete assvice comes to mind and I almost typed, "Get those kids on a schedule and you'll all be happier." Then I realized that they ARE on a schedule - just not the same one as you are. And if I were you it would be impossible for me to spend an entire day waking them up from a perfectly contented sleep just so they would sleep at night. I do not envy you this, sweets. Ok, well, maybe only a little and that's just because my womb has been empty so long that it's now coughing up dust bunnies but c'est la vivre, eh?

good luck - get the nanny to watch them sleep today and have that wine and nap you so deserve!

I was re-reading my journals from the first year and realizing/admitting that I totally lied to you. The water was fucking freezing. I'm going to try to post about this one of these days. Meanwhile, keep your sense of humor, and try not to fantasize about running your car full-speed off the highway and into a lamp post, as I apparently did, just on the off chance that death might offer me a little rest and release.

Does your nanny have any suggestions about how to get Kate and Adam to realize the error of their ways, and reverse the pattern? We never had the day-for-night reversal problem, but there has to be a solution, dammit, there just has to be.

One last set of dirty words: co-sleeping. Family bed. Anything to get yourself some sleep. Need inspiration? These are BF photos, but you get the basic idea:




Good luck, Tertia. It really does get better. Just keep your head above water, and call for the lifeboats as often as you can.

Can we change our chant from HBIJ to WBB (wine bath bed)?

I don't think you meant your post to be funny, but it did make me laugh. Keep on keeping on. The best is yet to come.

Tertia ... Do you have a baby swing or a bouncer(what we call it here in the usa)?

Im not sure how big they are now since they were preemie, but if they have decent head control, you can prop them up in the swing, maybe not the bouncer yet, and put blankets aroudn them.

Just for those few moments of sanity! Hang in there, you are doing a great job with those darlings

Tertia-Don't know if I have commented here or not. First, congrats on those 2 delicious babies of yours! When I look at their pics my 19 month old says baby-nice. :) Second, just hang on you too will get the amnesia once you catch up on your sleep. It took me about 8 months I think.

Are the babies sleeping in seperate cribs? Many times folks find that with their twins for the first few weeks / months they sleep better if sleeping in the same crib, its like comfort to them i suppose ;)

Can't offer a single piece of useful advice. Just want you to know I wish I could be there to help a bit.

Amnesia is a good thing sometimes. (Speaking from personal experience here.)

You'll write here about the stuff you do want to remember, and the rest? It will all melt into a haze of vague memories.

Promise. xoxo

I have been lurking here for about a month and enjoy reading your posts. Congratulations on your beautiful babies. Both of our children (3 years apart) were terrible sleepers. We ended up letting them sleep with us, which has its ups and downs. But sometimes it was the only way to get some sleep. Our kids slept in our bed for 18 months and then moved to their own big kid beds. If that doesn't seem like an option to you, have you thought about putting them in the same crib? Those vibrating bouncy seats are great too.
Best of luck to you. My son is 23 months and it seems like a blink of the eye since he was born.

I just get the sweetest picture in my head of you sitting there holding your little angels in your arms/lap.

No assvice...just wanted to let you know of the beautiful picture you planted in my mind.

Uggh! I'm so sorry!

Frankly, the only way you could really make them happy right now would be to put them back in your tummy. They're not used to having needs; they come from a place where all their needs are met before they're even aware of them. But this is quite temporary.

Several weeks from now, you'll they'll start smiling at you (and Marko and each other). Not gaseous grimaces, but real, social smiles that acknowledge you. You think your heart is big now, make room.

hey tertia. i can give you the age old....its ok to let babies cry. if they are burped, fed, changed then let them cry. yeah right!
i have no real advice. but ill keep you in my thoughts! i know the beginning is soo hard. good luck!

T - What I do remember is that it didn't take Luke very long (less than 2 weeks?) to figure out the difference between day and night. Hopefully Kate and Adam will get with the program soon. Hang in there!


I remember a particular day after my son (2nd child) was born. I was alone at home, and my goal, my desperate and very odd goal, was to clean the basement. I really really wanted to clean the basement. My son would fall asleep in the baby carrier (a bjorn) and then, I would run upstairs, and try to put him in his basinett. Then, I'd run downstairs to the basement, and try to clean, and he would wake up, in 10 minutes. I tried this about 4 times, before finally giving up.

What I remember about this is the sense of desperation that I couldn't clean the basement, but really, the problem was the total inability to do anything, even for 15 minutes, that didn't involve him. So, we're with you; we understand. We knkow it doesn't mean that you don't love Kate & Adam. It's just really really hard in the beginning.


PS: and, I could never get the "sleep when they sleep." business. First, I couldn't fall asleep on command, in 2 hour shots. Second, I had all that e-mail to answer :-). Third,, it was my only time for myself, in which to eat, shower, and, yeah, clean the basement.

You, too, should be sleeping dear! I promise it will pass. They'll figure out their days and nights before too long! At least until their teenagers and want to revert back to sleeping all day and up all night.

Tip for you. I bought a rocking recliner chair that was super comfy. They are huge, and can easily fit a child on both arms, and you, all snuggled together. My dauther is now 18 months, but we still use today to snuggle. Don't worry about the fear of "dropping" the babes-won't happen. As a new mom you are now so in tune to everything-every little sound, movement. You could be in a different country and get a sense that your baby needs you.

Best of luck to you. It is tough, but so worth it. And the newborn phase doesn't last forever.

You're doing a wonderful job. Your babies are lucky to have you. You're simply doing a great job, the best there could be. And to keep us updated, too! Just amazing.

How is Marko coping with the requirements of his new role of pater familias?

In twelve years, Kate and Adam will read this post and giggle. In twenty years, they will read it and give you a million hugs. I promise.

As I've never had twins I won't attempt to offer you assvice. But I will offer you my good thoughts and wishes to you that your babies will let their Mommy sleep sometime soon!

Not that you need any more advice, but I'd hate to know something that might help and not share it.

Firstly, I highly recommend the co-sleeping. I've done it with my son and I can't tell you how much it helped us both. I set up a really safe environment (firm bolsters, no way the blankets could cover him, etc.) and within a couple of weeks we were in symbiosis as far as wakings and stirrings went. Now, after 14 months, I will never regret this decision.

Secondly, you might want to consider a swaddle (if you haven't already) such as with a blanket like the Miracle Blanket (www.miracleblanket.com). My guy lost the ability to sleep at about 3.5 weeks because he just kept waking himself up. The swaddle SAVED OUR LIVES. You also may want to pick up the video of Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby On The Block. It sounds like a load of hooey but he's got this method of jiggling the baby's head in such a way that it triggers a calming mechanism and they can stop crying and go to sleep. I'm not kidding...it also saved our butts.

At any rate, I hope YOU can get some sleep soon, and please pardon me if this information is completely unwanted. It just really worked for us when our guy would NOT sleep at all. Kisses for your demanding little ones....

Never had twins, but couldn't have made it through without my son in my bed. He slept so much better that way, so I slept so much better. When it was time for him to go into his own crib, he let us know.

Want to make yourself feel better? When my son was 17 days old, he hit the infamous 3-week growth spurt, and only wanted to nurse. He'd have a big feed, be fine for 10 minutes, and then start screaming again like he was hungry (which he was, but I didn't know that and thought it was impossible). I tried everything else but feeding him, and finally in desperation wailed at him "Why am I not good enough for you?!!!" It was really one of the worst moments of my life--here I was with the one thing I'd always wanted, and now I was a failure at that, too. Fortunately, a friend with three kids diagnosed the growth spurt and told me just to feed him whenever he seemed hungry even if it made no sense to me, and when I did that he was happy as a clam.

But that one incident is pretty much all I remember from the first six weeks. It's really like sticking your head in a blender.

I've been lurking for ages, but I thought I'd delurk to say that YOU are wonderful, and are doing a great job with your beautiful babies.

I don't know if this counts as Assvice or if it's just a product suggestion, but... My daughter is three months old, and just this week we've moved her from a "sidecar" co-sleeper to her own crib (on the other side of our bedroom, but still). We didn't want to co-sleep completely, as we were afraid of rolling over on her or smothering her with the covers (or freezing without the covers), so we got the mini co-sleeper by Arm's Reach -- it's like a three-sided crib that attaches to the side of the parents' bed, so the baby is in her own space, but very close to the parent for feedings, comforting, and monitoring. It worked well for us during these first few months when she was up all the time (she was full-term, but only 5 pounds, 2 ounces at birth -- that's what, about 2.5 kgs?)I got co-sleeper online -- can you order from Amazon.com in SA? It's also here: www.babybungalow.com/arreaccosvar.html

The mini one fit perfectly next to the bed, the regular-size one is pretty huge, but might be a good choice for two babies to sleep in at once (a friend of mine with preemie triplets discovered that, during their first few months, the babies could only sleep well if they were all in one crib. Even if he and his wife put them down in separate parts of the same crib, after a few minutes the babies would wiggle themselves until they were lying against eachother in the same formation they'd had in the womb. Amazing.)

Until they get this night-day thing worked out, help 'em by keeping the curtains open when they sleep during the day--don't make it artificially dark, in other words. Then when they should be sleeping, i.e. at night, make sure it's nice and dark in there. It'll help set their little circadian rhythms.

I don't remember much from the first six weeks either. That you're stringing complete sentences together is a great sign. Hang in there...

Geez, Lylah, triplets? I shudder to think!

Tertia, could you *be* more divine? I mean there you are, exhausted and you still take time to write for our enjoyment.

Biological amnesia? design error? OMG that's so true! I can't believe you are *that* funny unintentionally. If so, you might want to consider a career in stand up comedy.

Not only are you funny and divine but incredibly generous to share this with us.


That sounds exactly like my first few weeks with my daughter except the whole TWO BABIES part. Mommies of twins deserve a medal. You are doing great. Your description is right on - about the inconvenient sleeping and the mommy who just wants to rest and is so exhausted, and especially the part about not remembering the first six weeks. My daughter isn't even two yet and I can hardly remember her first six weeks.

Kate and Adam will get over the vampire phase soon (soon being a relative term), and will do most of their sleeping at night. My girls slept better in the beginning when I put them together in one bassinet, or the short way across in one crib. They were so tiny that they actually fit. And touching each other seemed to satisfy that need they had for human contact while they were sleeping. And swaddling helped, too. I loved when they slept together like that. I even sometimes just stared at them instead of sleeping. God, how stupid is that? I especially loved when a stray part of one would wander near the other's mouth, and there would be a suckfest. I often found one baby with a wet spot on her head where the other had been chomping.

I've heard the first three months of a child's life referred to as the "fourth trimester" and it's so true. Those first few months have a lot more in common with the physical demands of being pregnant than they do with the next 18 years of raising them up right.

My son flipped over from sleeping all day and up all night at around four weeks old. Over the course of two days/nights, he flipped his schedule. Until then, the only thing that kept me sane was sleeping during the day with him.

Hang in there!!! You're doing great!

Tertia, well done on the BOB Award (http://www.blogmechanics.com/bob/). It probably doesn't mean much now when you have two screaming kiddies, but after you've had some sleep maybe you can sit back and think, oh, that was nice.

I'm no doctor, but it sounds to me like they are jet lagged.

Babies are pure evil. Really - don't let the chubby cheeks and fleeting smiles fool you.

When my son was first home from NICU I used to put a heating pad set to low down in his crib (cot) when I was holding him feeding him, then, when I transferred his sleeping self to the crib (removing the pad just seconds before lying him down), he transferred from warm body to warm bed, and didn't wake up.

Worth a try - anything is worth a try until they get their days and nights worked out.

It sounds like they've gotten their days mixed up with their nights. I think there are some strategies to try and remedy this...I just don't know what they are! Not very helpful, huh?

The URLs were broken in my comments section, so I'm posting a different link. I've been pointed in the direction of TinyURL but it might just be fun for folks to see moms nursing multiple babies in a whole heap of different positions (I like the woman sitting on the beach myself--yee gads).


i used to sleep sitting up with CX lying in my lap or with his head on my shoulder when he wouldn't sleep in his crib and was too small to sleep between us. you may be able to doze that way, which isn't the best but it's better than nothing. if either of them twitch, you will likely wake up.

Poor things!! (all three of you).

Its not just that they're lonely in their bed. Its that at some point they all wake up and realize that the world is a big, cold, scary, place compared to the warmth and confinement of being inside you. And they have hunger. And have to wear clothes that chafe and feel funny.

And they're not done baking yet. I don't mean that they were preemies -- *all* humans are born a good 3 months before they really should be, developmentally. This is a good thing for mom, because they usually fit through mom's pelvis. but it means they're sent into the cold, cruel world without the nervous system to deal with it. :(

I second the cosleeping suggestion. At this age it is NOT a bad habit, it is a lifesaver. There's no such thing as spoiling them, or even teaching them bad habits, at this age. There's just getting them to sleep by any means neccessary, and geting yourself the sleep in the process. Cosleeping occasionally, or even nightly, right now doesn't mean they'll both be in your bed when they're 3, or 2, or even 1 year old! You really can move them at any point - I had mine sleeping *mostly* in the crib by the time they were 4-6mos. We also did lots of co-napping.

If that doesn't float your boat, then I also agree that a good tight swaddle is the way to go. Keeps them from feeling so uncomfortably "loose" out in the world.

Maybe motherhood is really like cooking lobsters from a cold pot? You just don't notice the water heating up around you, but it very slowly does?

I've completely blocked out the first 6 months of my son's life so I'm no help at all.

All I could do was be up with him and hope one day I could sleep again.

See. I'm not helpful at all.

Thinking of you.

Ha, ha, ha - I am truly laughing with you and not at you. The water is still very cold, our sweet Tertia. You will find your groove - I promise!

I have such sympathy for you and the hard adjustment you are making to new motherhood. I'm two months from going through that myself (albeit with just one baby), and I only hope I can handle it as well as you're handling it. You should read the following post on another blogging mother's blog regarding the hard time she had adjusting to life with a new baby. First of all, her blog is very interesting to read overall, but this one entry in particular made me think of you.


Keep up the great work! I know it doesn't always feel like you're a success as a mother, but you are, and it's going to get easier every day!

I think the reason we don't remember much about the first 6 weeks is because of the sleep deprivation. It's all kind of a blur.

I remember the late nights, but I'm kind of a late night person so it wasn't as hard on me as it was on my husband. I have a picture in the baby book of him, the baby, and the dog all crashed out asleep in the living room in the middle of the day.

You need one or two of these:
The soothing vibrating bouncy chair. My daughter slept in it until she was 4 months old and then she slept through the night. It is great because you can just bounce them when they are mildly upset but when you really can't take it any more you just switch on the vibrator. It is like magic.

here is a better link. Buy the cheapest seat. They all work the same.


I think I wrote the exact same post on my blog sometime ago. My little guy wouldn't sleep anyhwere else but my arms and during car rides for the first 8 weeks or so. He would wake up and scream as soon as I put him down, no matter how delicately I tried to do it, no matter how much I swaddled him.

It is definitely still fresh in my mind- no haze here! I don't know how you do it with two! Luckily, my mother in law offered to would sleep over one time per week and stay up with my babe to let me get some sleep. At first I said no because I felt like a failure for not being able to handle it on my own, but I soon learned it is OKAY to receive help.

Even though some people were against it, I co-slept with him for a while, so we could both get some sleep. I was kind of against it myself at first but soon realized it was the only way to keep sane. I found out a lot of parents co-sleep, its just not talked about that much because of some judgemental people (including my pediatrician).I kept sane!

I find that giving him a warm bath and then bottle seems to calm him down. I also used to play a sound machine that had sounds of running water/bubbles that helped him sleep but as soon as it ended he would wake up again.

Sometimes he slept in the bouncy chair bit only for about 10 mins at a time.
My boy was 5 weeks premature, but I finally got him sleeping on his own in his crib at nearly 4 months- just a few weeks ago.
Hang in there, you are doing better than you think!

I have 2-year old triplets. If I may be so bold as to offer some unsolicited advice... Some of these things may seem glaringly obvious, but they're what worked for me:

* Keep the lights ON during the day, and OFF at night. Consider "day" to be from 7 or 8 in the morning to 7 or 8 at night, approximately.

* When you feed them during the "night" don't turn the lights on, feed them in the dark or near-dark. This lets them understand that things are different during the night, we don't play and socialize at night, we just do what's necessary and then go back to sleep.

* Keep sounds of all kinds off at night. No conversations, no TV, no music (unless you use music for nighttime white noise...). During the day have sounds at normal volume.

* Unless there's a poopy situation, or an imminent pee-pee diaper leak, don't change diapers at night anymore (during the hours of 10:00-ish or so until "morning"). Use the next size up diaper if need be to prevent pee-pee accidents.

* Make sure that you stimulate the babies sufficiently during their daytime wake periods. Don't OVERstimulate, of course, but they need to have something going on during the day that's interesting. Let us know here if you need ideas on what to do during waketime, okay? I know when you're in the middle of things it's hard to think of what to do.

I think you are 100% right about the amnesia thing. Until I was reading here and thinking about my first few weeks with each of my babies, I had forgotten how truly horrible it was. But all I needed was for you to jog my memory and it all came flooding back! LOL! I think the amnesia also applies to labor pains. OMG that is an ungodly pain. No way any woman would go through it again if she truly remembered the horror of it. So yay for amnesia or we would die out as a human race lol

I'm with tulip. I believe in the power of light and sound. I was downright obsessive about it; still am, truth be told. I've got the light-blocking curtains and the sound machine to prove it. But hey, some kids are just going to be up all night no matter how good you are at taking away various stimuli.

Hope you get my package soon... included is a wetsuit, for the freezing water. Ha.

Hang in there, T. Today's challenges give way to new ones, but none will ever be quite as physically harrowing as what you've got now.

Hi, Tertia,

I live on the US east coast and I'm working on my dissertation. I work until 5am doing research and then sleep until mid-morning. When I talk to people, I tell them that I work on Hawaii time.

Perhaps your babies are living on US east coast time?

It probably won't make you feel any better, but at least they sleep *sometime*. My mom said that even when I was a baby I rarely slept. By the time I was four or five, I was only sleeping 3 hours a night. That has continued until now.

In fact, I've told the people at the fertility clinic that I actually look forward to my egg retrievals because the anesthetic gives me a rare long period of sleep. :)

May I suggest ear plugs while they are within your viewing range? Then you can see them crying, but can't hear them. (I'm sure you will hear the vibration though--they do seem to have amazing lung capacity.)

I once knew a father who had done everything he could to meet his baby's needs, and still the baby cried. So he but the baby down in his crib and said "son, there is no sense in both of us being miserable" and he closed the door and went out and sat on the patio for a while. When he returned, the baby was soundly sleeping. But that's more of a dad thing, don't you think? I mean, we women could never get away with that.

Hang in there -- when is your 6 weeks up?

IT GETS BETTER!!! The biggest thing I wish someone had told me those first few weeks is that every single thing they do will change at least a dozen times, so don't feel like you will never sleep again or it is permanent. I am the last person I thought would ever be in favor of co-sleeping, but seriously I couldn't have survived the first 4 months without it. And now at 8 months old, my daughter sleeps from 7:30-6am in her crib without a fuss. Give yourself any breaks you can!!!

Good luck, and lots of love,


You are so completely normal with all of these feeling and realizations. However, I think that most moms do remember more than you think -- it's just that we know better than to try to explain it to people. Honestly, you are right. If we knew how awful it was, we'd never have had kids in the first place. Take heart in knowing that it gets better and better (but it takes time, sometimes a long time). There is nothing that could adequately describe the horrors of those first six weeks.

Hang in there. If your feelings don't improve a little bit each week, you should definitely assess your risk of PPD. I had it and the treatment made a world of difference for me. Made me enjoy motherhood instead of dreading the trials of each day (and in my mind, the trials of the next 20 years).

You are doing great. Your kids are lucky to have you.


Co sleeping/sleeping in arms = crack cocaine to babies. Easy to offer, impossible to take back.

I swore no co sleeping and caved, and didn't sleep well for 3 celibate (mostly) years of a tossing, sweating, kicking child in bed. NEVER, NEVER AGAIN!!

second kid, I swore no co sleeping all over again. I did move the crib into our bedroom, in the attempt to be fair :). Kid has never slept with us and seems to be v. secure and happy.

Wow - a lot of advice, suggestions, hugs and good thoughts.
One of the most amazing parts of motherhood is looking at the children and wondering where the time went..remembering when...it all goes so fast. This is going to sound absolutely nuts, but even though its hard right now you will look back on it with fondness.
Now stop blogging and take a nap!

Tertia- I have no useful advice, but I do have a little story. I work with a mother of twins, a boy and a girl, ages 14 (a pioneering infert.), and I asked her how she dealt with having two prem. twins in the house. She said she didn't feel like she really dealt with it very well at all, but one day at around twelve weeks she looked in the mirror and said, "ok, I think I can handle this." Before that she said it was seven shades of hell, and that she had never felt so incompetant in her life. This too shall pass. You will hit a point in which you can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of how well you've made it through.

OK, I've been holding back all day.. Can I please give some assvice?? I have a son and twin girls. My son was 4.5 when they were born.

My son never slept when he should. Ever. We let him sleep in our bed till he was 9 mos. We rocked him to sleep, gave him soothers, or put him in his swing to bring on sleep. I NEVER let him cry. We inadvertently made night time feedings 'events'. BIG mistakes.

With the girls I was determined to do things differently.

#1 was putting them together in a small crib next to my bed. Putting them in there tightly swaddled at first and close to each other and awake. If they fussed a bit and cried I decided I could live with it for a few minutes. (This of course when it was bed or nap time and all their needs had been met). And in a few days they didn't. They had learned to go to sleep on their own which was FANTASTIC!

I cannot convey how important it is they learn to go to sleep with no help from you. With my son I did everything under the sun to get him to stop crying or sleep and in hindsight I should have just lied him down and let him cry a bit. Really. I fear I was constantly overstimulating him which led to the crying!

Besides, when other mothers are still rocking their 3 year olds to bed you will be contentedly enjoying some well deserved quiet time~!

All the best to you and your beautiful babies :)

Oh, I forgot to mention my salvation during the early years. The message boards at iVillage used to have a great board for moms with twins. They were divided by age and I made some great friends over there that I still keep in touch with 7 years later. Great support and makes you feel less alone as a mom to twins. We swapped ideas, battle scars and got much needed support and understanding. As difficult as the early days are, TWINS ROCK!

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