So Close

Ouch

Well, if you ask the question publicly, you should expect to receive all sorts of really honest and heartfelt answers.

Thank you to every one who has participated in the circumcision conversation, from both sides of the foreskin fence.  I really appreciate that it was (mostly) done in an unemotional mature way.  Some comments were quite pointed, those ones were the ouch ones.  But that’s okay.  I asked the question.

A few comments in response:

Some people seemed to be upset that I said I was leaving the decision up to Marko.  You should know I am not the passive wallflower type, exact opposite in fact.  I am not sitting here saying ‘oh big strong husband, the leader in our family, I am too thick to make a decision, you do it’.  Believe me I know parenting children requires input from both parents (if there are two involved), it is just that I didn’t feel strongly for or against and he felt strongly for.  If I had felt strongly about the subject in any way, not only would I have insisted on being involved in the decision, but Marko would have listened to my opinion. I am ‘allowing’ him to make the final decision, although even that is not cast in stone, I asked the question after all.  Makes sense? 

Some of you asked whether I was sorry I asked the question.  Not at all.  As you might have noticed I love asking questions and learning.  I am open to various viewpoints and like to make educated decisions.  I am going to be asking and raising lots more controversial view points in the very near future.  Watch out for SAHM’s vs Working moms, styles of parenting, discipline etc.  I embrace diversity, it is what makes us so interesting.  And I love your input, whether it is for or against my beliefs.

I would have loved to have had some more input from men themselves, because after all, it is them that have to bare the consequences of this decision.

As for how common circumcision is here in SA, I don’t really know to be honest.  It is a cultural thing and depends on what culture you belong to.  Remember, we are a country of huge diversity, we have 11 official languages!!  Having said that, all the men in my life are circumcised, it is what I know. 

Another question was:  has the conversation influenced my decision.  It has made me think about it a lot harder than before.  Because circumcision is the norm in my life, I hadn’t really thought about not doing it.  I am now thinking about both sides of the foreskin/coin.  I have to say though, that ferocity of emotion of the non-cutters makes me feel almost too scared to admit that I will / would have it done. 

I have asked Marko to read the comments, I hope he does but I don’t hold out much hope, he is not a big reader I’m afraid.  He reads about as much as he chats. 

I am going to speak to the Dr about it, and ask his advice as well. 

One thing I do agree on, is that I / we need to do what is best for OUR family.  I just hope that we know what that ‘best’ is.

Thanks again to all of you for your input, much appreciated.

Oh, and may all your dreams and wishes come true in 2005!  Two more hours to go here until midnight.

Vodacom SMS to email

Writers block unblocked. Can never stay quiet for too long any way. Did 3 posts this morning. Will post later. Arm tired now.

Silly jokes to pass the time

PREGNANCY Q&A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

PS:  35w today! That's practically overdue for me.  Who would have thought.

2 more sleeps

Two more sleeps till Jan!

Not feeling v chatty, so might not even post tomorrow.  Nothing wrong, just concentrating v hard on keeping babies inside for two more sleeps.

Please don’t worry if you don’t hear from me for a day or two, I PROMISE I will let blog land know if I go into to hospital.  It is as simple as sending a text msg from my cell phone.  I could even do that en route to the hospital.

I have typed up about 20 posts, all waiting to be entered, but somehow they all feel frivolous at the moment.  Bigger things to think about now, KWIM?  To be honest I can’t concentrate on much else at the moment.

Two more sleeps!

*WOW.  Just seen there are 186 comments to the circumcision question, guess it is a big topic among people.  Haven’t read the comments yet.  Might have to be back with further comments today.  Today is a big lying down day, plus it is eventually a big cooler here for a change, I might just find inspiration somewhere.

The Controversial Cut

To cut or not to cut, that is the question….

Well actually not much of a question, more an academic debate because Marko has decided that Adam will be circumcised, and I am letting him make the decision.  He is in charge on penises in our house. 

However I know that this is an issue not without an enormous amount of controversy and very strong feelings from both sides.

If I had to make the decision, I am not sure which way I would go.  I hate the thought of my tiny little baby having to go through pain, yet……I do want him to look like Dad, Grandpa etc. 

I know the current thinking around this issue.  That is not medically necessary, that ‘looking like Dad’ is for some people, not a good enough reason.  That some people consider it mutilation etc.

What are your thoughts?  I want Marko to read them too.

Remember:  Respect each other’s views, please.  And also, not too many horror stories of someone’s aunt’s cousin’s brother’s child with whom the knife slipped and the penis was cut off.  I want to know what you did, and why.

Edited to say:  Our son was born January 07, 2005.  based on all of what you’ve said, we decided not to circumcise him.

Monday / Tuesday Update

Sorry it’s so late, I am feeling quite a lot of pressure and very heavy, so I had to lie down for quite a while when I got back from the Dr.

Gestation:  34w4d.

Babies:  Both babies doing fine, growing nicely and they both appear to be over 2.6 kg’s, or 5.7 lb.  The fluid is less, but the Dr says “something has got to give”.  There is not much space left in there.  The poor babes are extremely squashed.  Placenta also showing signs of calcification. 

The Doppler flows for both babies were good.  Dr says that both babies looking excellent.  Adam’s head is right in my pelvis, so he is not that easy to measure.

Cervix:  Same as last week, still short but closed.  Dr says I am fully effaced?  What ever that means.  Need to look it up.  But he says it is to be expected in a twin pg at this stage.

He asked me when I wanted the C-section and I said Jan 17th.  He said “that sounds reasonable, if you make it that far”.  Nice.  Although I will admit, the way I am feeling, and the size of my belly, I am not sure how much further this old body of mine will last. 

I am feeling particularly huge and heavy.  When I go out people stare and I’ve had more than one person say ‘”get to the hospital NOW, you look like you are about to give birth”.  Walking is extremely difficult, getting up out of a chair – major effort.  This mama is beeeg.

Here are some pics to try and give you an idea of how far forward I am carrying.  And it’s all forward and low, nothing to side.  I am seriously huge, I have gained 55 pounds so far, oops!  But you are supposed to gain a lot of weight in a twin pg, or so they say.  Don’t care anyway, it seems to be working.

Feeling lots of pressure, maybe it is because on the way home from the Dr I popped in at the shops.  I better go lie down, I really don’t want these babies to come in 2004.  Giving birth twice in one year is not something I want to do.

But am feeling a bit relieved, was having terrible DBT’s about Kate

If I am still pg by next Monday, it will be the big fetal being scan on the 3rd. 

Oh, and I packed out the stuff to go into the hospital bag.  Just got to do some laundry tomorrow and then I will be ready.  Thanks for all your tips!

Monday Update on hold

As I mentioned last week, today (Monday) is a holiday here, so my Dr’s appointment is only late tomorrow.

Hovering around cave till then.  No particular reason, just normal nervous stuff.

Card Culture

Apparently, American’s are big on greeting cards, birthday cards, Christmas cards, birth announcements, thank you cards etc.  In SA we hardly send out cards any more. 

Here in SA we send out text messages from our cell phones to each other.  For all sorts of things.  For example, it didn’t even enter my mind to send out the birth announcement notification any other way than via cell phone text messages.  You set up a distribution list, type up your message and voila! Instantly every one knows. 

Today, for Christmas I got plenty of merry Christmas text messages.  I haven’t received one paper card in the mail from any SA person, we just don’t do that any more.  In fact the only cards I got were from my American friends.

I think the reason why we don’t send out cards is as a result of a combination of things.  Firstly, mobile technology and text messaging is massive (and fairly advanced if I may say so myself) here in SA, as it is in Europe (you guys don’t know what you are missing out on, it is so damn handy).  I send 200 text messages a month, and I have to restrict myself to that much.  So handy.  My mother will send me a text message saying, “am at the shop, any thing you need?”  And I will text her back with a list.  I text my brother and sister in the UK for a quick hello.  My sister in law in Tanzania, Lioness in Portugal etc.  Cheaper, better and more convenient that phoning.  I still phone, but for the quick hello’s or to do’s, nothing beats texting.

In fact I must confess to lying on the bed in the bedroom the other day and sending a text message to Marko asking him to bring me something.  His reply:  “pain in the ass”.  But he brought whatever it was I wanted.  Can’t even remember what it was.  Damn handy that texting thing.

The other reasons are probably that cards are so expensive, why pay 20 bucks on a card when you can send a text message for 60c?  Also, what do you do with the card after you have received it?  The cards are so beautiful that you don’t want to throw them away.  So you keep them in your study for a while, never look at them again until your next spring clean when you throw them all away.  Just seems an incredible waste, but then again, I am v v unromantic, and totally not a hoarder.

Lastly, the postal system here is really crap, its slow and unreliable and driven by retired Internet ibex.  Text messaging is instant gratification.

And if it wasn’t for text messaging I would never have been able to ‘chat’ to Julie while she was having her minor little birthing dilemma.

So please forgive me if I don’t send you a card.  Doesn’t mean I am not thinking of you.

However, in honour of this special Christmas day, a photo of the heavy front load I am carrying.  Please forgive the fuzzy hair do, I was lying down on the couch and my sister made me get up for the pic, she thought I looked hysterical.

  Think of this as my Christmas card to you for your amusement and public ridicule.

Merry Ibex

I know all of you have been burning to know the answer to this question:

So what do the ibex do when they are off duty from their daily job of driving connectivity to the Internet?

Well the answer is simple really; they take some time out, hang out with their friends and have a bite to eat.  Simple stuff.

This is the view from my front door.

(V v dry here, stinking hot and a bit of a drought.  Horrible.  V v bad to be enormously pg in the middle of summer heat wave, would say bad planning, but hahahahaha, not big on planning pregnancies around here.)

Oh, and Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate.  Ho ho ho indeed.

Off to have traditional lunch in the sweltering heat. Ridiculous really.  Hang over from our days of being part of the colony. .

Ho Ho Ho!

No, that is not me calling out for Julie, Grrl and Danae, although you would be forgiven making that seemingly obvious assumption.

Instead it is me injecting a little festive cheer into this marvelous day of 34 weeks!!!!

Wooofuckinghooo!

34 weeks.  Who would ever have thought?  What a fantastic Christmas Eve gift.

V v happy today.  I will do my best not think about placenta failure, cord accidents, severely reduced amniotic fluid, dead babies or any other things like that.  Instead I will allow myself special treats that seldom get taken out, like imagining what they will look like.

Ho Ho Ho indeed.