Preparing myself

I think I might just give in and go to hospital this coming week.  I am getting plenty of BH’s each day (I am actually getting used to them now), and while this might be ‘normal’, I think I might as well be as close to help as I can be.  And yet…..  Being home is so much more relaxing, for me and for my ute, I honestly don’t know what to do.  I think I will see what Monday’s appointment brings.  If my cervix is the same as last week, I will stay home for another week.  If it has started funneling or is shorter, I will go to hospital.  But in all honesty, being at home is best for me on so many levels. 

I have spent the weekend preparing myself, getting things in order so that I feel better about being away from home. 

I have cleaned out the nursery, packed away all the clothes and blankets into appropriate piles, marked clearly what must be washed (kind Mother will do this for me).  I have drawn up a list of what I still need and kind Sister will do my last shopping for me (how sad that I don’t get to enjoy the shopping for baby things thing ##@*&!!!!).  The nursery furniture arrives on Friday, I have shown Marko were I want what, given him instructions to give to the maid to clean the furniture, paid all outstanding accounts, sorted out queries, I think I am ready to go.  I didn’t want to leave Marko with all sorts of things to do, he will have enough on his plate sorting out the pets, the house, food for himself etc. 

The only thing I need is something to wear all day.  I wear old T-shirts to bed or just underpants, but I guess I can’t walk around with my underpants showing there.  Or could I?

Of course the thing that keeps pricking at the back of my mind is that hospital bed rest didn’t stop me from going into pre-term labour last time.  Although this time I know more and will insist on drugs the minute I suspect any thing is amiss.  Last time they dismissed my fears as just an irritable uterus.  Next thing I was 5cm dilated and contracting. In hindsight I am completely pissed off at the nurses because I now know I passed my mucous plug as well, which I showed them and still they said it was nothing.  But there is no point in looking back.

But I don’t want to go, boo hoo.  It’s horrible there and I will have to share a bathroom, maybe.  I hate sharing bathrooms.  I suffer terribly from performance anxiety, I might never make a number 2 again and die from enforced constipation.  What a cruel and torturous death.

BTW, I think I hate Thanksgiving.  What am I supposed to do while you are all being thankful and stuffing your face with turkey?  The Internet is dead!  Stop being thankful, immediately.  You are my source of entertainment and a welcome distraction from the boredom of bed rest, how selfish of you not to be around.

Comments

[Lioness]

You'll do what's best for you and the kids so if you feel that it's time to go to hospital you'll feel better abt being there than at home regardless of comfort and manure-riddance - so overrated anyway, a high level of toxicity, a nice comfy hospital bed (IKEA), all that nonstop excitement, the gourmet food, students sticking their heads God knows where, kind nurses whose only aim is to please and in some cases to try and force you to surrender your knickers but you stand your ground bcs what you broke was a vertebra, not your cooter - anyway, who would NOT wish for that? You big whiner, now I'm disappointed in you. As for Thanksgiving, well, we don't have it - I'm thankful for that, sounds v stressy (and scary: marshmallows everywhere!!!) - and I'm annoyed as well. But I'm not a whiler bcs I bear it w grace and dignity and a full agenda. My activities for the evening: watching 2 CSI episodes; Buffy (I love the show and it's no one's business); CSI on another channel AND a rugby match (All Blacks, YEY!). Try and tell me you're NOT jealous, you un-TV freak. You know you envy my wanton lifestyle.

(The internet is so dead no one has commented yet, I'm a bit scared if you want to know. What is it's an experiment gone wrong?)

[brooke]

hey tertia.. fwiw.. most of us dislike thanksgiving too ;-D

[DMouse007]

I know - where the hell is everyone?! Get back on the computer now!

If I were you, I'd wander round the hospital in my knickers. But I don't have such nice legs, so maybe not.

[Terri]

Yup...enough thanksgivingness.

Sounds like you have everything in order T. I'll be checking in on Monday to see how your appointment went.

What about a pair of Yoga pants (below the belly of course) and a comfy shirt? That is my usual attire. So comfy!!

[JuliaKB]

They don't make you wear ugly hospital gowns in SA? Lucky bums you are... Although, here, if you are v v nice to the nurses, you can get the comfy bottoms and an OK shirt from them... but most times it's those ugly gowns with strings...
If you go to the hospital, can you have a laptop there? I had one from work for my short confinments--made things a lot more bearable.
Oh, and I am not a big fan of thanksgiving either, except for the part where my sister, my mom, and I are all cooking in the kitchen before everyone shows up-- that part's a riot. :)
Good luck on Monday.

[wix]

oh, but tertia, the best part of thanksgiving is yet to come--post-holiday horror stories! undoubtedly at least one blogger will have overindulged and worn a lampshade for a party hat, or similar.

i say wandering around the hospital in your knickers is a-ok. yoga pants are good, too. i wore a hospital johnny and my housecoat from home during my 5-day stay (short short compared to yours, i know). i always thought i'd want to wear my own clothes as soon as i could, but the meds for my preeclampsia made me feel icky.

one last annoying note: you'll have to do plenty of shopping for baby things after adam & kate arrive, even with your piles of lovely gifts :) i understand that you wanted to do it yourself before their arrival, but you won't miss out on the fun completely.

[Boulder]

Your plan sounds well thought out, and very reasonable. You go to the hospital when you think it is wise, and stay home until then.

It is so stressful mentally to try to prepare your home for an extended absence, and I think it completely SUCKS that you can't do the last little bit of shopping that you need for the babies. How wonderful, though, that your dear mother and sister are there to help out and fill in the gaps.

You wear WHATEVER you want to wear at the hospital. It is all about keeping yourself comfy at this point. And, if it were me, I'd pull aside my doctor or the head nurse and tell them that after your experiences earlier this year, you'd appreciate them doing everything possible to keep you roommate-less for as long as they can. Shit, it is the very least they can do.

You make yourself as big a pain in the ass as you must to keep yourself sane, healthy and happy. Demand the care that you deserve - when I don't get what I need in the hospital or someone makes me second guess myself, I remember 1) I'm likely smarter than the person I'm dealing with *blush* 2) it is my body and nobody knows it like I do & 3) nobody will be as good an advocate for my care as I will be.

I'm around all the time, T, feel free to email as often as you like, k? I'm not big on Thanksgiving, so am completely done "celebrating."

xoxo

[Dead Bug]

Sorry, hard to write when you're suffering from Turkey Coma. Takes a few days to regain consciousness.

Hoping you get to stay home as long as possible. Forget the uncomfortable hospital gowns: just imagine the hideous hospital FOOD.

[Queenie]

Does anyone really like Thanksgiving? Seriously, who actually likes the taste of turkey? I say, if you have to go to the hospital, it is definitely fine to wear your little undies or whatever else you like. Because, one, they've seen everything, and two, for the amount you're paying them, they should let you wear nothing but panties and<>/i> give you a complimentary stripper. And can you get a laptop in there so you can do some fun baby shopping online?

[brooke]

i'm just fixing the opened < i > tag.. (or, at least, i hope it works!)

[Danae]

Why not just go naked in the hospital? I'll bet you'll end up with your own bathroom that way.

Thinking of you, sweets.

AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING A LAPTOP!

[Bridgette]

Even during Thanksgiving, I was still able to check in here 10 times or so. I'm never far from my computer. Its my lifeline to you and a few others.

I know I told you I was selfish and wanted you to go to hospital, but I have rethought that a bit. While I would still feel more comfortable with you there, whats more important is what makes YOU comfortable. Do what you feel is right. Hopefull all will be well Monday, and you can buy another week at home. If you do go, please tell me you are taking your laptop. I will be emailing your cell phone non-stop if you don't, and there will be no way for you to respond. :( I feel the panic starting to build already.

You are in the home stretch T. You are doing so well, and I can't even tell you how thrilled I am for you.

Healthy babies in January!

[Susy]

While I am eternally thankful for what I have, it certainly has not taken up so much of my time that I can't pop in for a "chat". In fact, I've popped in everyday pretty much since I found you blog, Thanksgiving day included.

I have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving this year. While I support the concept of being thankful for the wonderful things I have, the holiday was conceived around the deaths of many, many innocents. And now that more innocents are dying at the hands of America, it's well...pretty fucking horrible actually.

I hope you don't have to go to the hospital any sooner than possible. It's one thing to be holed up there when your babies are already born and they're bringing you pain drugs around the clock to keep you happy, it's quite another to be stuck there hugely pregnant with nurses poking and prodding you with non-happy drugs.

[Summer]

Hey, don't knock Thanksgiving just because your country doesn't do it! I think it's great. It's a holiday that's all about what holidays should be about: gathering with the people you love and eating too much. It's a good old-fashioned feast, complete with roast beast, of the sort that we don't have enough of nowadays. It's Christmas that sucks, what with the pressure to put yourself in debt buying gifts and everyone sitting around in sweatpants eating things off paper plates. No, Thanksgiving has it right, sit up at the table and eat pie and drink a lot of wine. Also, turkey tastes good if you brine it. Really.

What? This was supposed to be about you?

I'm thinking good long cervix thoughts for you, so you'll be able to stay at home longer. Bedrest is miserable, and I've only had the experience of it at home with piles of books and 97 channels of cable TV, and no one to complain if I walk to the toilet knickerless. It all comes down to where you feel safest, I think. If you'll feel safer in hospital, go. If you feel fine at home, stay. Either way, I'll do my best to post lots of entries on my blog hoping you'll come and read and be entertained. (I've got a big bitchfest brewing, about holiday plans for Christmas. My in-laws are pissing me off. You'll surely want to read about that, right?)

Stay strong, sista.

[Kim]

T-

I have no opinion whatsoever on the hospital thing. Although, you look great girl wear what you want!

As for Thanksgiving, who doesn't want to sit around for hours listening to odd relatives telling awful stories about you. Sounds great right? I did enjoy the pecan pie with cinnamon ice cream.

Do you think Marko could get the nursery all done up the way you told him and send us a pic?

Lastly, Happy Birthday! 30 weeks is fantastic! Adam and Kate in January or Feb.

[Janis]

Tertia,

I spent a week in the hospital at 32 weeks when I was pregnant with Livia and Caleb.

I thought I was going to go nuts! I was so bored. I had books, I had things to do, but nothing appealed to me except getting home to my own bed.

waaa waaa waaaaa

But that week also helped me get on my meds to control the contractions, get the steroids just in case, as well as finish up last minute plans for my oldest son's wedding.

I got out of the hospital two days before the wedding. I delivered 10 days after the wedding at 35 weeks 6 days. One day short of my 36 week goal.

The way I see it, you do what you think you have to do. What you believe is best for you, Adam and Kate.

I hope your birthday was a happy one!

Much love to you, Marko and the babes!

ps. I agree everyone needs to quit eating and shopping and start blogging!

[Kristin in VA]

Tertia -

Not sure if you remember my story, but I was on hospital bedrest for 11 weeks w/ my b/g twins. To be honest, I felt really happy to be there. I knew that if I started to go into full-blown labor they could help to stop it, whereas if I were at home I might not have made it in time. I did have a private room and the BEST nurses. I still miss them, how pathetic!

I wore drawstring PJ bottoms and t-shirts, forget those stupid hospital gowns. I also had my laptop, which was my lifesaver. And plenty of visitors.

And I know what you mean about missing out on shopping. My poor husband says I've more than made up for lost time, as every time I leave the house I come back with "just a few things" for the kids.

Whatever you decide, I'm sending cervix and BH behave vibes your way.
Kristin (in VA, USA)

[mollyv]

I am with-holding my hospital opinion (GASP) until I read your monday update. I fancy myself an armchair doctor and need more facts as to what I think you should do. Will you have to share a room? What is up wiht the sharing a bathroom thing?? I would never poop as well - that sounds v. distressing to me. I am so tired that a few days in the hospital is actually starting to sound good to me, so I may not give great advice!

As for thanksgiving, it actually is one of my favorite holidays - can't really over commercialize it - just a good day with family and a four day weekend with dh. ahh, the bliss. really, i do like it! Stay off your feet, girlie!

[Stacey]

Being Canadian, I understand the frustration with Thanksgiving. ;)

I hope everything is ok at the appointment, and I hope you get to stay home.

be good uterus!

[Deanna]

You have a maid??? Can I move in with you? Anyway, sounds like you've got all your bases covered whichever way things go. I am sorry you will have to miss out on the shopping for babies. There are ALOT of cute things you can shop for after they are born, though! ;-)

[Toni]

You are doing the right thing...as much pain as the thought may bring.

Take care of yourself...and bring the laptop. Don't know what I would do without hearing about all the nurses and what you are doing!

[Diffy]

Hi Tertia,

I have followed your diaries for quite a few months and think about you a lot when I am not reading them.

No, I am no psychopath, just a normal, educated woman living in Canada who has not been able to get past 5w of pg in 5 years of ttc (endo and who knows what). I have done IVf unsuccessfully and all that crap.

Anyway, I am rooting for you and I feel really confident that you will have 2 healthy kiddos at the end of this pg. Whether you are in hospital or not, it does not really matter. These kids are going to be dandy.

I wanted you to know that I wept (in my office) for your first son, and that I continue to weep when I read many of your entries. I wish sometimes I could feel the emotions that you have felt in your ginormous (sp) words during your struggles. All I have is emptiness. One pg that ended so abruptly that it had barely started. I have nothing to mourn. I am not looking for sympathy for me, just saying that you should not negate the emotions you have felt for your children. They are all so valid and I would like someday to experience them, even if it means I have no live children.

Hugs from frosty Canada,

Diffy

[j]

You should do whatever makes you feel comfortable, obviously, when it comes to the hospital. But I'd want to stay home as long as I could, as long as the hospital was very close, and I could get there quickly, at least to be checked out, any time I suspected any kind of mischief going on. You'll know better what is the best thing to do when you see how your cervix is doing on Monday. But there's a lot to be said for being comfortable and relaxed. And you are getting so far along in your pregnancy, that the babies really are going to be all right, even if you deliver. Not that you want them to be born at 30 weeks, of course, but in a blink of an eye, you will be hitting 32 weeks, 34 weeks, etc., all terrific milestones.

Hope your Monday appt. gives you the answers you need.

[Ann]

help i was wanting to just say hello, and hope every one is having a wounderful day this mothers day weekend well hope to know you are have a wounderful day ladies and other memebers on this page well bye ...

from: Ann Thornton