(trying to ignore feelings of extreme terror)
Some pictures for your viewing pleasure.
(might be a little messy but dont have time to line all the pics up properly, must go lie down
The size of my pussy:
My pussy is enormous ;). I have the cat on Iams Light, he never gets scraps etc but he stays huge. And he is always hungry. Marko found him as an abandoned kitten in an industrial warehouse about six years ago and brought him home. He was completely wild, a real terror, but over the years he has mellowed a lot. Ok, having his balls cut off might have also calmed him down a bit. He still thinks he is a dog and will sometimes bite your leg as he walks past, or follow you around the garden. He also comes when you call him. A sweet cat actually, even though he and I fight all the time (he thinks it is HIS house while it is definitely MY house, so we argue). We do love each other though and he likes to be in the same room as me, so he lies on the floor while I am at my desk. His name is Tequila.
I wanted to take a pic of him to show you how big he is, so this is my first shot:
But then I thought there is nothing to compare his size to, so needed something to put next to him as a reference. Not sure if I mentioned this but I am eventually sorting out my study, filing all my papers, doing all my expenses etc. So close by (in the ‘pg/baby stuff to be sorted’ pile) I had one of those hospital bands they put on your wrist for operations. I think it was from retrieval #745. Except that Tequila decided that it needed closer investigation, it couldn’t just lie next to him, it could, after all, be PREY. Notice how small the band is in comparison, and still intact which means it was big enough to slip over my (large) hand when I got home
Now its time to stalk the plastic band by pushing it under the table, pretending it wants to get away from you:
Once you have subdued the prey, look at up your mistress / person who feeds you and act as if to say ‘stop taking pictures, who are you??, have you spoken to my agent?’
That is one big fat pussy.
The pregnant infertile’s ruler:
Part of Operation Organize is to do spreadsheets of all my expense etc for my tax return (4 months outstanding). One of the delightful tasks is to calculate all my medical expenses. I had a long (4 pages) print out from my clinic and needed to enter the dates and amounts etc, but I had no ruler (you do call it a ruler there? Long plastic thing that you use in school?). Searched around on desk for something to line up the numbers, and found the perfect thing lying in the top drawer among the pencils and pens.
If you look carefully you will be able to read the details on the sad list of expenses.
The ‘ruler’ is from this last IVF. Pathetically done the day after a positive beta. For this last cycle I was so convinced that I wasn’t pg that I refused to waste 20 bucks on a HPT. I went for the beta even though I ‘knew’ it was negative. I was sitting in a restaurant drinking and smoking when the call came through to tell me it was positive. In all previous cycles I had phoned the lab every hour from about 12pm pretending to be the nurse to get the results. This time I didn’t even bother phoning the Dr never mind pretending to be the nurse.
I was so pissed that I never saw the two lines on the hpt that I did one the next day any way. Even though I knew the beta was positive. Ok, and because I had this little niggling fear that maybe the lab made a mistake. It’s called HPT’ing after the fact. (and of course you can’t throw these things away can you!)
I am an asshole, yes I am.
My niece
My niece Rebeka is so cute, a real girl, she loves dressing up. She also LOVES her Mimi (my mom) and spends quite a lot of time sleeping over. My mom is a divine grandmother and allows the children to dress up and just be children and have fun.
Here she is in either her ‘fairy dress’ or her ‘happy birthday dress’, I am not sure which one is which, but it is one of her favorites. When she is with my mom she can wear whatever she wants wherever she wants.
And here is a pic of Rebeka and my absolutely amazing, Most Divine Mother in the Whole World.
)
And lastly from the back, how cute is the outfit. You will also notice fat cat Tequila in the pic, and a pic of my dad sorting out my garden. Our garden was a gift from my dad, what a divine gift!
The Scene of the Crime
This is where I spend most of my time, when I am not peeing. Just imagine me lying there with v unattractive old T shirt on, plus comfy granny pants. Like a good girl, lying on my left side (Kate hates this position because it restricts her space, responds with a few well aimed kicks at my v full, v sore bladder,) laptop propped up by pillows, at an angle so can read while lying down, home phone and cell phone next to me and the tiresome bottle of water with me at all times. (bedroom still v bare, next on decorating list).
The Wedding Day
And lastly, a pic of the Sergeant Major, I mean Marko and I on our wedding day. Notice how happy we look. It was obviously BI (Before Infertility). Hence the lack of wrinkles and gray hair, and that naively optimistic look.
Aren’t we a handsome couple! (I do look a little porky in my dress, so please use soft lighting when you look at the pic).
Wait, one last one:
One of these days you are just going to force me to send you cyberhugs, you really are...
Anyway, before I make us both ill, I will also ignore your extreme terror (but, but...)
1. My big pussy could kick your little pussy's ass.
2. I just threw away the last round of positive HPTs ($20! Good Lord!) and I am now regretting it 'cause I could be comparing line-for-line (although Julie says that is actually a waste of time.)
3. Your niece! The dress! The panties! Your garden!
4. Your husband is hot with 3 x's.
Chin up. Keep fighting. Kisses (aw, damn it...)
Posted by: Julia S | 26 October 2004 at 06:48 AM
Yay! Pictures of real life!
Wow, your pussy is HUGE!
(Did you know I have 3 pussies? One momma pussy (now 13), who is the queen of the roost, and 2 baby pussies (now 7) who are part of 4 from a litter that I did foster care for since they were 4 weeks old. I was supposed to return them to the animal shelter, but could not. Instead I divided them up - 2 short hair to my brother, and I kept the 2 long haired pussies for us. The upkeep of three pussies is a MAJOR undertaking, what with the grooming and all.....)
Now I know what I should have done with my BFN test, put them on ebay as rulers, you clever one. PS - I may come visit and do IVF at your prices!
How divine to see your mother, and to put a face with your sentiments.
And Rebeka looks as if she's ready for afternoon tea! Does she know that she's got darling Kate and Adam to look forward to playing dress up with?
I think perhaps my bedroom is getting as much "rest time" as yours is, but simply because I'm a lazy slob at the moment, and as I've said, yours is so much more refined. Mine is not, it is simply my cave....
Ah, your Marko, the one of the MUST HAVE plasma TV and car magazines. He does look the strong, silent type, even in the photo!
Thank you so very much for sharing!!!!
Posted by: Boulder | 26 October 2004 at 11:23 AM
Your niece is absolutely gorgeous. I wonder which parent she gets her looks from!
Posted by: BIL | 26 October 2004 at 11:56 AM
Yay, pictures!
Your neice is adorable. You are so lucky to have a sane family.
My pussy is also large. She will not eat Iam's light; she will eat the smaller cat instead. So, no light cat food for her.
And yes, we call it a ruler as well.
Posted by: Chris | 26 October 2004 at 01:04 PM
Marko is a hunk!!
Posted by: shEENA | 26 October 2004 at 02:19 PM
I will take a picture of my big(gest),fat(test) pussy and email it to you. Your pussy is anorexic compared to mine. I have 6 pussies, 2 of whom are biiiig.
Your mom sounds like my mom in the grandmother dept. "Oh, you set the couch on fire? That's okay, sweetie, want a cookie?" I actually love it and so does my kid.
Your wedding picture is great. You are very beautiful and Marko. . . I almost fell off my chair, he's so good-looking!
Posted by: KellyH | 26 October 2004 at 02:56 PM
I love the wedding picture, you guys are a lovely couple! Your babies will be so adoreable, I can't wait to see them too. :o)
Posted by: shaunacat | 26 October 2004 at 02:56 PM
Mum = gorgeous
Niece = gorgeous
Husband = gorgeous
and of course
Tertia = gorgeous.
Your babies are going to be beautiful. There is just no escaping it - even their cat is adorable:)
Posted by: Jess | 26 October 2004 at 03:02 PM
I LOVE this little glimpse into your life. And these babies are gonna be beautiful! Just look at all the beautiful people in their gene pool. :)
Posted by: Bridgette | 26 October 2004 at 03:12 PM
Holy crap Tertia, that is one BIG pussy!
Your neice is a doll, your "ruler" is hillarious, and your husband... WOW! Looks like he walked right off the cover of a magazine. You are beautiful!!!
Posted by: Kelly | 26 October 2004 at 03:37 PM
Porky? You think you looked porky in your dress? You were the bride everyone else wants to look like. You both are gorgeous!
Posted by: Bridget | 26 October 2004 at 04:20 PM
What fun! I've got a pretty big pussy too, but when I saw the arm band near yours, I had to concede defeat. I thought it was one of those bread twist-ties at first.
Lovely photos of your darling neice and mum.
Love the wedding photo. What a gorgeous couple! My favorite wedding portrait of me and DH is black and white too. It's so romantic!
Posted by: buttercup | 26 October 2004 at 04:24 PM
Loved the pictures. Have to admit my favorite was the back view of your niece's outfit. Too cute.
As for the porky bride.....give me a break. You look like every other bride wants to look...diets, starves, works out until she faints.....and still doesn't look that good. Unfair, really.*GRIN*
Posted by: Mandy | 26 October 2004 at 04:34 PM
You're both gorgeous. Marko has a beautifully shaped head. What lovely babies they will be... :-)
Posted by: Tracy | 26 October 2004 at 05:01 PM
! is everyone in s. africa as hot as you and marko???
Posted by: wix | 26 October 2004 at 05:48 PM
Marko hot.
But my favorite pictures were of your niece and the outfit.
It was good to see what your wonderful mom looks like :)
Posted by: Menita | 26 October 2004 at 06:17 PM
Hi, I've never posted before, I've been lurking here because I like your writing. I'm not infertile (that I know of -- I've never tried to get pregnant). I just found your blog thru hashai.com. Anyway, I feel as though I know you and like you from your writing and your pics. Thank you for the lovely pics and for this blog in general. Rebekah is a doll, your folks are fabulous, Marko is super hot and so are you, and that cat needs gastric bypass surgery. You're going to be a great mom. good luck with the bed rest.
Posted by: victoria | 26 October 2004 at 06:30 PM
Yup, that's a mighty big pussy...cat. We just recently found a stray and got him neutered (he hasn't thanked us for it either, imagine, that!) and we're trying to introduce him to our little family of very big dog and adorable rat. He might have to remain an outdoor cat unless we're home or we're going to have to get him another home because when the rat is on the couch playing, he just follows her back and forth with his eyes. I don't think that it bodes well -- LOL.
Your family is gorgeous and your hubby is quite the hotty!
xxxoooo,
Posted by: Emily | 26 October 2004 at 06:40 PM
Puh-lease! Porky?! You look fantastic and your husband, well, he's very, very handsome. A beautiful infertility free couple - although you still look fantastic.
I got a miscarriage kitten this summer (can't have a baby, might as well get a kitten.) And he is fast on his way to becoming one enormous pussy. Now he has something to aspire to.
Posted by: patricia | 26 October 2004 at 06:55 PM
Yay for pictures! Your niece is such a little cutie. And a hunk for a hubby, you go girl! I really liked that peacock drawing, though. Made me crack up!
Posted by: Carrie Jo | 26 October 2004 at 06:58 PM
Aw, hell. I thought I was really going to see your pussy.
Such a big tease.
But you made up for it with the wedding photo. I'm fanning myself. Expect a stalker on your doorstep soon.
Posted by: Mollie | 26 October 2004 at 07:00 PM
I loved them all!
P.S. Is Marko into polygamy?
Posted by: Andreah | 26 October 2004 at 07:12 PM
You could "stud" out Marko to pay those horrendous medical bills! You know a solicitation to the effect of: Sassy South African adores wife and pussy...I don't know where I'm going with this... STOP. SURVEY SAYS...HOT HUSBAND and GORGEOUS BRIDE and some damn fine looking babies and one "cutily" pudgy pussy! Thanks for sharing; you're a real inspiration.
Posted by: Jaine | 26 October 2004 at 08:37 PM
Is it wrong to admit I made slurping noises when I saw Marko?
Posted by: StacyG | 26 October 2004 at 09:31 PM
1. My pussy is small. I wish my pussy was as big as your pussy. Thanks so much for giving me an excuse to say "pussy" today.
2. Oh, how I wish I took a HPT when I was preggo. Now it's too late. :(
3. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
4. Very cute!! And your hubba ain't bad either.
Posted by: maricar | 26 October 2004 at 09:54 PM
T...
I have 3 pussies...one of which is huge. And a bitch to boot. LOL
You don't look fat girl. My left boob wouldn't fit into that dress.
And yes, you are hot, your hubby is hot, even your pussy is hot....your babies have no choice but to be hot!!!
Posted by: Jen | 26 October 2004 at 10:02 PM
It must be something in the name Tequila. I stayed in a carvan park in Bellingen, Australia and spent heaps of time with this HUGE bat-stalking cat called Tequila....
Posted by: AussieAndrea | 27 October 2004 at 12:31 AM
Wow! I thought my pussy was big, but I think yours takes the cake!!
Your neice is precious and you are beautiful! Marko ain't hard on the eyes either! ;)
Posted by: Becky | 27 October 2004 at 03:09 AM
I know it's been said over and over, but your husband is H. O. T. What an adorable couple you two are!! I can't wait to see these kids!!
Posted by: Amy | 27 October 2004 at 05:02 AM
Tertia-
Great to see the pictures. Your openness is rivaled only by your personal strength.
Hope we haven't heard from you again today simply because you're so cozily camped out in bed, tired out from yesterday's work chasing after the cat with a camera. But. I can't help worrying just a bit. I know tomorrow will be one of the hardest days ever for you. And in my experience, sometimes the anticipation you feel the day before a painful infertility anniversary is almost worse than the day itself.
So. Please know we're thinking of you this week. Be kind to yourself. Kepp your sights focused on next Monday. (And do a better job of sticking to a lighter note than I have!)
-Anne
Posted by: ManhattanAnne | 27 October 2004 at 03:02 PM
Eye candy and pussy galore!
Posted by: vicki | 27 October 2004 at 03:34 PM
Are you OK, Tertia?
News from other parts of the blogosphere must affect you so much, I'm thinking of you, and thinking strong gestationy growing thoughts to Kate and Adam.
Posted by: Expat | 27 October 2004 at 06:45 PM
Oops. Posted to the wrong day. To repeat: Where is today's update? With all the scary stuff going around the IF blog world right now, silence is worrisome :-(
Posted by: Susy | 27 October 2004 at 06:47 PM
Excuse me, but how hot is your husband. He is scorching, baby, scorching hot. The pair of you of together- yow-za! Smokin'.
In other news, I hope you are doing OK. I know how terrifying this time is for you, but we're all here if you want to talk about anything. Anything at all.
Posted by: barren mare | 27 October 2004 at 07:19 PM
You don't know me at all ... but I'm thinking about you & your babies even more than usual today.
Posted by: cressa | 27 October 2004 at 07:38 PM
T-
What can I say that everyone else hasn't already? Ok, so I'll just repeat it...
Niece is adoreable...wanna hook her up w/my equally cute 3yo nephew?
Mom and Dad are awesome!
Marko...OMG, honey, you scored on the hottie lottery w/that one!! He looks like a male model, and your wedding photo looks like something out of a magazine.
Adam and Kate are destined be v.v. adorable babies!!
Hope all is well w/you today...
Much love,
Nat
Posted by: Nat1026 | 27 October 2004 at 07:53 PM