Act 4, Scene 3 – In which Hope makes her reappearance after a long absence.
Background: Waiting room, anxious Tertia writing up bad news blog entries in her head, Dr 30 minutes late.
Tertia goes in to consulting room.
Dr: “How are you doing?”
Tertia: “Ask me after the scan.”
Dr: “You really are cautious aren’t you.”
Tertia lies on bed.
Dr scanning.
Tertia: “Just tell me first, can you see the heartbreats.”
Dr looks for heartbeat in first baby – well-behaved child immediately jumps (acrobat!)
Tertia: (huge relief) “ok that ones alive, the other one?”
Dr looks for heartbeat in second baby – equally well-behaved child jumps and waves his arms. Phew!
Suddenly door crashed open and in skips Hope, singing on the top of her voice, la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Tertia: “Where the hell have you been you fickle bitch?”
Hope: (puzzled look) “but you told me to go away and leave you alone?”
Tertia: (grudgingly) “Well, you can hang around for the next day or so. Can’t promise any thing longer than that. Now stop singing so loudly. We are only 10w3d, we have very very long to go.”
So all went well with the scan this morning. I spent a terrible weekend absolutely convinced it would be bad news today. I don’t know why. Just because I am a nervous wreck I suppose.
If stress really is that bad for the babies, I am totally fucked. Because I am permanently stressed out to the max. And please don’t tell me to relax and not to stress, believe me if I knew how to, I would. Suppose a glass of wine or two and a smoke would work but unfortunately that is out of the question.
Next HUGE step is the big level II nuchal translucency scan next Thurs. That is a big point for me, its where I have had very bad news before.
To CVS / amnio or not to CVS / amnio……….
Welcome back HOPE !!! And a big kiss each for the obedient baba's. Tears streaming down my face - no wise words, just very deep down gratitude.
Posted by: eM | 12 July 2004 at 02:06 PM
Welcome back Hope! Enjoy your visit.
I'm smiling from ear to ear knowing your babies were growing well, and were behaving beautifully. Do we get to see pictures?
Posted by: Bridgette | 12 July 2004 at 02:36 PM
So happy to hear about well behaved babies. My hope has offered moral support for yours whenever needed.
Posted by: Mandy | 12 July 2004 at 03:29 PM
Hooray for heartbeats! I can only imagine how stressful this must be for you. One step at a time, my friend. Breathe in, breathe out. Thinking of you. xxx
Posted by: Danae | 12 July 2004 at 03:44 PM
Hope skipped out on me for huge chunks of this weekend, too. That bitch better show up for my next scan on Thursday.
I am oh so pleased to see your two kiddos are jumping around and doing their thing. Oh so pleased.
Posted by: Julia | 12 July 2004 at 03:52 PM
Yay for Hope, yay for babies!
Would it help you relax if we had a smoke and a glass of wine and we told you about it?
Posted by: Lisa | 12 July 2004 at 04:41 PM
One of my friends thinks she had a mellow, easy baby because she was so happy and relaxed during her pregnancy.
On the other hand, I have had two mellow, easy babies even though when I am pregnant I am always sick, tired, and so stressed-out from the hormones that I become a terrible evil bitch and spend all my time either lashing out at my lover or weeping.
I say this in case it helps you at least not worry about whether your worrying is negatively affecting the babies.
I am so glad to hear they're doing well. May it always be so.
Posted by: Su | 12 July 2004 at 05:16 PM
So happy for you, Tertia :-)
Posted by: Whichever | 12 July 2004 at 05:16 PM
wooohooo for well behaved babies!!!! So glad Hope came back:)
Posted by: Kris | 12 July 2004 at 06:03 PM
Yay. Glad you have some Hope back in your life even if her stay is brief. Don't worry about stress. I was a basket case each day of my pregnancy including birth. I just kept imaging the worse case scenario over and over. Both my kids are happy and easygoing. Don't stress the stress.
Posted by: alix | 12 July 2004 at 06:59 PM
I'm glad to hear things are going good so far. I hope that Hope gets permission to stay even longer after the next scan.
Posted by: Christina | 12 July 2004 at 09:37 PM
I wish I could send you a picture of me sitting in front of my computer with my hand curled into a fist and my index finger just below my nose (it is, apparently, how I read edge-of-my-seat types of news). I could not be happier for your two beating hearts (well, three...I'm assuming yours is still going strong). I will be waiting impatiently to hear news about the next scan. Then I will be waiting to hear lots of bitchin' and moanin' in the coming months about how big yer belly's getting.
Posted by: Kristine | 12 July 2004 at 09:49 PM
Yayyy! Enjoy your time with hope because if you are anything like me you'll find a reason to start worrying again and kick her out again. I'm hoping for you that she'll soon start to hang around a lot more.
Posted by: patricia | 12 July 2004 at 09:55 PM
Ah Hope, that bitch, ya gotta lover her!
Posted by: Anne | 12 July 2004 at 10:33 PM
Hope comes and goes as she pleases, doesn't she?
I, too, am 10wks 3days and sometimes it feels like forever since I've seen her. My aunt gave me a mantra and I'm trying to live by it (though its the hardest thing I've ever tried to do) Do not let fear rob you of your joy.
I think Hope and Joy are roommates who go off on holiday together. I hope they come as permanent houseguests for you.
Posted by: Kether | 13 July 2004 at 05:11 AM
Whooohoo for acrobat babies. I WILL have a smoke and cig tonight on your behalf. Sure the osmosis effect will help u relax, after all I AM just down the road n all. Hi Hope, waving and grinning gleefully now.
Posted by: Bee | 13 July 2004 at 08:32 AM
YAY!!!!!!!!
yAY!!!!!!!
Posted by: Sheena | 13 July 2004 at 11:25 AM
Tertia, I completely "get" the sense of dread you have about the proverbial "other shoe dropping." I called my RE 2 days before my beta and said "I just have a sixth sense - it hasn't worked." I can never sort out which comes first the dread that something will go wrong or the realization that something has gone wrong and then looking back at the cues and saying "see, I knew it." Keep your chin up. I went out to the local bookstore to get my very own copy of Town & Country to read becacuse I knew you'd been quoted it in. You were right on. Do the best you can throught these milestones,know that you have people around the world pulling for you (that has to help in a karma-like sense).
I'm so very hopeful for you this time round.
If only we had those blue toenails to help us sort it all out along the way.
:)
Posted by: Boulder | 14 July 2004 at 09:55 AM
I imagine that Hope will be in hiding soon as you contemplate the nuchal scan. I have had bad news at a nuchal scan too so I can imagine how anxious you must be about that. But time stands still for nobody and more will be revealed soon. Really hope that Hope will be in the room smiling at you, following you home and back to play again for lots longer this time...
Posted by: Kim | 14 July 2004 at 11:01 AM