Adam doing his Buzz Lightyear move:
(on his couch, in his TV room. Just in case you think I let them jump on the furniture reserved for guests and In Laws)
I just realized I owe you some new house pics. I will see if I can persuade Marko to take some pics, he is a better photographer than I am.
As you might remember, Adam has been on a break from his OT sessions since our OT pushed us out the nest a year or so ago. As she was herding me out the door, assuring me that although Adam didn’t need any more OT sessions at the moment, *I* was welcome to keep bringing him if it made me feel better, she told me that although he was done for now, it was quite likely that he would be back every now and then for some maintenance sessions.
About two months ago, I noticed that he was being a little um, what’s the right word? Difficult? Needy? Sensitive? Slightly pain-in-the-ass'ish? All of the above. So back to OT we went, opting for twice a month sessions. Last week the OT said she thinks we should come once a week as his sensory issues seem a little high at the moment. On Monday she said she thinks we should go see a speech therapist as Adam might have mild oral dyspraxia (low muscle tone in his mouth). Sigh.
Isn’t it funny how when someone points something out to you, it all of a sudden becomes very noticeable. Just that morning my mother had asked me whether the OT had remarked on Adam’s lisp. No I said, I hadn’t really noticed.
Last Friday, all the kids were playing a game at school where you do funny actions with your tongue. You know, curl it up between your teeth, roll it around, wag it from side to side. Adam couldn’t do any of it. (BTW, Kate is absolutely brilliant at it. Me? Useless as well)
The OT said that she was just a bit concerned that Adam was drooling a little, and that his tongue sticks out quite a bit. Marko is forever telling him to put his tongue back in his mouth, but I’ve always thought it was kind of cute. You know how some kids stick their tongue out when they concentrate? Adam does that, but perhaps more often than he should.
The OT said it doesn’t seem very serious, but we don’t want the other kids to tease him at school and say ‘Hey Adam, why is your tongue always out!” so off to the speech therapist we go. Obviously Marko thinks it is all a load of bollocks, but I am of the opinion that it can’t harm to get it checked out, and if they can give him some exercises to help, then why not.
I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with Adam, no more than there is with me (one could argue that there is LOTS wrong with me!), he has similar sensory issues to what I have, but if I can help him make his life a bit easier, then I am going to do whatever it takes. He will be fine, whether I take him to OT / speech therapy or not, but while I have the capacity to give him these extra boosts, I will do it.
But I have to say, it does make me feel a little heart sore and a little tired at the thought that any of my children might have to face even the slightest challenge or difficulty in life. We all want our children to have happy, healthy, non-challenging lives. And it does seem that for a sensitive, sensory child like Adam, life can be just a touch more challenging than for a take-no-prisoners child like Kate.
But it also makes me realize how very, very lucky I am that my child’s ‘challenges’ are so mild, when there are those who face FAR more severe challenges than any of us. One of my favourite bloggers in the world has twin girls who were very premature, one of whom faces some of these challenges and I am reminded in times like these of my friend’s grace and strength, as well the grace, strength and beauty of her daughters.
And then, I am also always amazed at how these two children of mine, who shared a womb, the same genetic pool and a very similar upbringing, can be so very different. They shared the same pod, but these two peas are very, very different. And I am grateful for that, because I am not sure what I would do if both of them were the same flavor, whether that flavor was super-sensitive or super-stubborn as it is with the two of them!
(PS Maybe I will strike it lucky and Max will be an obedient, well behaved child who always does as his mother says. But then again, based on previous experience, probably not.)
PPS Adam is wearing his sulky face because I let Kate hold Max first. What a little joy he can be sometimes.
Hello all
I have a feeling I am going to be a errant blogger for the next while. Not so much that my new baby is keeping me busy, but between the baby, the new house and my business, I don't have much time for anything! Business is v v busy (thank goodness), and I am trying to cram a full day's work into the few hours here and there that I have free. Yes, yes, I know - I am supposed to take it easy. I am, kind of. Easy in a Tertia kind of way. Ok, not easy but I am not taking strain, I am fine.
I am fine because baby Max is an absolute sweetheart. I know it is still early, but he really does seem to be a chilled baby. Maybe because he has a million arms waiting to hold him if he just goes 'wah'. I have to physically wrestle him away from Rose and my poor mother doesn't get a look in at all if Rose is around. She is like a mother hen on steroids! My mom has resorted to taking Max to her house so that she can get some alone time with him. Marko is also really sweet with him, but you will remember from long ago that Marko doesn't really do newborns. He loves his children, but prefers the newborns to be in the mother's arms while he coos from a distance. And that works perfectly fine with us as he does the twins at night etc. Win win situation for us all.
The kids are super cute with baby Max. They just adore him. Adam fed him and burped him yesterday (Adam much more maternal than Kate, she was busy helping the gardener at the time).
I am fine. Already driving. Just couldn't wait any longer. My cut feels fine, no pain. I am a little tired, of course. Max still hasn't figured out that night is for sleeping and day is for reading books or watching TV, so we spend quite a lot of time staring into each others eyes at night (when I would far rather be staring into the back of my eyelids) but being tired goes with having a newborn. There isn't much you could do about it except grab the occasional nap (must work on this) and soldier on regardless (am expert in that).
So, all good in the land of the Albertyns. House is coming along slowly but surely. There is still so much that I want to buy and do, but I've resigned myself to the fact that it is going to take time. I know you want photos, but it seems so unfinished still! I am waiting for my new chairs to arrive and the kid's new bedroom furniture. Give me another month or so and then I will post photos.
In the meantime, you'll have to be satisfied with photos of the kids, the big ones, and the newest addition as well:
So, a few of you noticed that Marko had his hand in his pants while he was sleeping?
After I posted that pic and started reading the comments, I suddenly had a "oops, have I over-shared again??" moment, so I called Marko.
Me: So, I posted that pic of you and Adam on my blog this morning
Marko: Ja?
Me: Well, you have your hand in your pants. Are you ok with me posting the pic?
Marko: I have my hand in my pants?
Me: Yes, you know. You know how you always have your hand in your pants when you lie on the couch watching TV?
Marko: No?
Me: Yes you do! You told me it keeps your hand warm?
Marko: Oh, didn't realize I do it. Fine, whatever. But in future, do you think you could ask me BEFORE you post a pic rather than afterwards.
Orange is right, it's his lovey. And it keeps his hand warm. Or whatever. Perhaps if I had some of what he had, I would also want to 'keep my hand warm' with my lovey.
PS it is our ninth wedding anniversary today. I got coffee in bed this morning. I didn't have the heart to point out I haven't had coffee in the morning for the last 8 months. No gifts, obviously. Or cards. As we don't do that stuff. As my husband said to me this morning during our brief but meaningful hug: "nine long years" ;-) He's my lovey. I do love him quite a lot.
At the end of each term, the kids get a book filled with their drawings, projects etc. It is very sweet and the teacher adds little notes. At the end of this term, the teacher suggested that Adam and Kate practiced their fine motor skills with things like colouring in the lines and cutting.
Which we duly did, but while Kate has taken to the colouring in idea with great enthusiasm, Adam has decided he is too tired to colour in. He is apparently too tired for lots of things. He is not, however, too tired to fill his page with crosses (damn that Jesus-on-a-cross Easter story) and letters, specifically the A for Adam and T for Tertia. I despair of that child sometimes!
In fact, it is quite scary to see the difference between the two of them, and how they approach things like drawing, colouring in etc. Adam is just not interested. He wants to play outside and build things. While Adam is physically more advanced than Kate, she is way ahead of him in terms of social, emotional and many other aspects. I am not sure if this is just how boys / girls work, or whether I have lots of extra lessons and OT in my future.
This is Adam at the beach (if you look very carefully and squint through your one eye, you will see a green figure that sort of resembles a person) and Kate at the dinosaur 'buseum' (museum).
Now, I know what you are going to say. You are going to
remind me how completely freaked out I was about sending the kids off to school
for the first time (and how I had to have several sessions with the shrink and
take a nerve pill to prepare) and look how well that went! Now they love school almost as much as I love
sending them there to have my three hours break in the morning. (Even
though Adam cried AGAIN this morning when I dropped him off, despite the fact
that he is almost fully grown and has been going there for about a 100 years – C
R Y B A B Y!!!)
Yesterday I went to enroll my kids in their new
pre-school, Grade R and Grade 0. (in my
day, you just pitched up for Grade 1 and that was that. No preparation
years. And look how well we turned out
*nervous tic* WHO SAID THAT!? Oops,
sorry.)
Seeing as those other fuckers pre-school wouldn’t
accept my kids were full, my choice was pretty limited to the two expensive
private schools in the area. The one, although closer, is apparently very
snobby and I didn’t want that. The other
one is a bit more multi-cultural and seems to have excellent holistic care. It
looks like a great school, very well run, very neat, very caring and lots of extracurricular
activities*.
But it’s BIG and SCARY!
I arrived yesterday and saw all the little kids in their uniforms** and
the school bags lined up outside the classroom and I wanted to cry. My babies! My babies are going to big school! It was a very emotional day. I was telling my
dad how emotional I was and he said “but they are going to have to grow up
someday, you can’t baby them until they are 18”
To which I replied, “well, I don’t about can’t”. He said good-bye and
hung up the phone.
And as if that wasn’t scary enough, they suggested that
we split the kids up in different classes (there are two English classes). Apparently they do this for all twins. SPLIT
THEM UP!!! I wanted to cry some
more. It is scary enough to have to send
them to a new school without having the other one there as a back up support
for each other. Apparently it is better
for their individual development (what do
you guys think about that? I am thinking of consulting a educational
psychologist about it because I am a paranoid asshole like that)
Well, if I am being totally honest, Kate will probably
not care or even notice. She never asks
where Adam is during school time and they don’t play together. Adam wouldn’t be seen DEAD playing with girls
and Kate has her own group of (guy) friends.
But Adam likes to know where Kate is.
It gives him comfort. And now they want to split them up. It kind of makes sense, on a sensible level,
but it makes me anxious. Which isn’t really saying much as everything makes me
anxious, especially scary things like big school!
Anyway, my kids are going to big school. Which makes their mommy very anxious and
emotional. But she will do her best not
to show it. By that time I should be
able to take some Xa n ax, praise the lord.
PS it is a Christian based school, so I guess there is
no escaping now. That Sister Mel must be
clapping her lordy hands in delight.
* They have lots of ‘cultural’ activities like piano,
music, violin. If my kids have inherited
my music abilities, they might not be participating in a lot of those types of
activities.
** The Grade R’s and Grade O’s don’t wear uniforms. But from Grade 1 to grade 12 they do. We wear school uniforms in South Africa
PPS Went for a scan yesterday (33w4d), cervix long and closed (4cm) and baby Max weighing in at 2.4kgs / 5.3 lb). HUGE head. For all the brains. Short legs. Might be midget.
Coming a close second to finger nails on a chalkboard, there are few things more grating than your offspring fighting with each other. Of course, fighting and siblings go together like coffee and carrot cake (my current craving), so I understand that some fighting is inevitable among siblings, but OH MY GOD, the teasing and the resultant whining drive me INSANE.
Of course, with sibling close in age (ie one minute apart), they know exactly which buttons to press to get a reaction out of the other one. And then you have the Tease/Whine reaction.
Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine Tease/Whine WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Until I want to murder both of them.
I never know what to do. Chastise the teaser for teasing, or chastise the whiner for being so fucking whiny. Because OMG, that child can WHINE! Ideally, I suppose, one should leave them alone to sort it out. They are evenly matched in terms of height, weight and annoyance-factor, so I could just wait it out until one murders the other, but to be quite honest, I am not sure I can last that long.
What do you think? Who should get moaned at? The teaser for deliberating annoying / provoking the other, or the whiner for being such a wuss?
No prizes for guessing who the teaser and who the whiner is.
As I
mentioned a few days ago, after 4 years of refusing to wear dresses or anything
‘pretty’, Kate suddenly started asking to wear a ‘beautiful dress’. She has worn a (two sizes too small) dress
every day this week. I have been too
scared to question it, as it is quite nice to have a girl who eventually wants
to wear girl clothes every now and then.
Yesterday
when I picked her up from school, she said she wanted to buy a pair of heart
shaped sunglasses, like Kristen. I said ok and off we went to the store. “Buy
these cute red pair” I suggested. No, they must be blue, just like Kristen’s.
And then
it clicked! Kristen is a new girl at
school and she heads up a group of girls that play together. They are the cool
girls, and always hang out together. It
is obviously a bit of peer pressure!! At
four years old!!! I want to cry. I can’t
believe it is happening already.
The girls
are lovely girls, really sweet and very welcoming towards Kate, but it made me
so sad to realize that there is this outside influence that is affecting what
she wants to wear and do. No longer is
it what mom says or the simple things I feel inside, now it is what the other kids
think and say. AT FOUR YEARS OLD!
It also
made me realize how important the kids are who your kids hang out with. Luckily for Kate this group of girls is made
up of decent, sweet and friendly little girls who love to play dress up, but
what happens in a few years time if it is another group of girls who are less
sweet. But ok, I am getting ahead of
myself.
It was
just a sobering moment to realize that no matter how much we want to baby them
and keep them protected from the Big Bad World outside, we can’t. All we can is hope that we have instilled
enough self-believe, inner strength and good values that will help them
navigate the scary world outside.
On a lighter note, we also bought a pair of fake croc gumboots for winter when we bought the sunglasses, and obviously we had to wear all our new things to school today. Gumboots in a heat wave. Niiiiiice.
PPS Pls excuse Adam's VERY bad hair day. He is getting his hair cut this weekend. It would have been done last weekend but SOMEONE (the child's father) wasn't in the mood to battle with the hair clippers. Hair cutting days are not looked forward to with much pleasure by anyone in this house.
Someone has snuck in the night and swapped my Kate for a child I do not know. After years of being forbidden to mention the P (pretty) or B (beautiful) word in her presence, she now wants to wear dresses! For the last few days she has asked to wear a "beautiful dress" to school.
Of course, none of her dresses fit her properly as they were bought two years ago when I was under the mistaken impression that a girl child would perhaps want to wear a dress. But, we are squeezing ourselves into those dresses.
I am still too nervous to say the B word myself and instead stick to acceptable words like "wow Kate, that dress is gorgeous!" or "Kate, you look fabulous", but it's a giant step forward.
Here is Kate looking beautiful gorgeous this morning:
PS Yes, that's a crocodile in her hand. Kate wouldn't be Kate without some sort of scary animal / monster thing close by.
PPS No shoes. We never wear shoes here in Summer.
