Question: What do you expect when you are on to your second, third or more child?
Answer: Not a helluva lot.
When Adam and Kate were born, I scoured the 'milestones' books (Exhibit A: What to Expect: The First Year) to see what they should be achieving when. Each month I would read up about what they should doing. I would puff out my chest in pride when they achieved something early. I would worry that there was something 'wrong' when they didn't quite hit the milestone.
How things have changed.
Max is such an easy baby, but maybe that is because I am so much more relaxed this time around. This morning I was changing Max's nappy, marvelling how big and strong he has got and I thought to myself "I wonder when he is supposed to start rolling over?" In a totally 'whatever, whenever' kind of way. And then I had to have a little laugh at myself. I thought if it had been with Adam and Kate, I would have not only known the exact moment when babies were supposed to be rolling over, I would have already started worrying that they weren't. Old Maxie boy? He will roll over when he feels like rolling over.
Motherhood is sooooo much better this time around, I am enjoying every stage and phase so much. This is how it *should* be.
Couldn't decide which pic to choose, so am posting both of them. Pure gorgeousness.
(Who, thanks to your feedback, is happily drinking when he pleases) PS As much as I would like to believe otherwise, that is not a real smile, yet. We are almost there though, I can sense it. The child is very advanced ;-)
Maxie boy went for his weigh in yesterday and the well-baby
nurse almost platzed on the spot – he has picked up 1kg / 2.2lb in two
weeks!He is now weighing a very sturdy
4.54kg / 10lb.Oink.
The nurse said we are over-feeding him and we need to
stretch him longer between feeds.Up until
now, we’ve been feeding him every three hours or so, but if he feels like a
bottle after 2.5 hours, he gets one.
(Yes, I am bottle
feeding. I am sure this will make some of the more zealous lactation activists
want to tar and feather me, but guess what – I don’t care! My
kids are formula fed and I am absolutely fine with it, so are they.Wish I could breastfeed, but can’t. The End.)
Anyway, back to Max.Who is four weeks old today, and so damn adorable, I want to eat him up,
all 4.54kgs of him.
The nurse says we have to start stretching him to four hours
between feeds.This is NOT going to go
down well with Max.Max is rather fond
of the bottle (gets that from his mother) and seems to have an internal alarm that goes off every three
hours, on the hour. The only way to silence that alarm is with a bottle.I can see we are in for a fun time.
I am much more relaxed with Max that I was with the twins, and
I’ve been feeding him pretty much when he wants to.The Tertia (ie non-granola) version of demand
feeding.And I would continue but as the
nurse reminded me, if I want him to start going longer between feeds at night, I
am going to have to start resetting that internal clock during the day. Hmmm,
that does sound sensible, or does it?
Is it possible to over feed a baby of 4 weeks?He seems very happy with how things are at
the moment, and touch wood, is not a refluxy baby at all.And none of Marko’s family or mine has any
weight issues, so I am not too concerned about that.What do you think?Is it possible to overfeed a baby?More sleep at night does sound v v tempting
Here is a picture of Max taken last week, before the
emergence of his chubby cheeks (which are very, very cute! Must take more
recent pics to show you)
As you might remember, Adam has been on a break from his OT
sessions since our OT pushed us out the nest a year or so ago.As she was herding me out the door, assuring
me that although Adam didn’t need any more OT sessions at the moment, *I* was
welcome to keep bringing him if it made me
feel better, she told me that although he was done for now, it was quite likely
that he would be back every now and then for some maintenance sessions.
About two months ago, I noticed that he was being a little
um, what’s the right word? Difficult? Needy? Sensitive? Slightly pain-in-the-ass'ish? All of the above. So back to OT we went,
opting for twice a month sessions.Last
week the OT said she thinks we should come once a week as his sensory issues
seem a little high at the moment.On
Monday she said she thinks we should go see a speech therapist as Adam might
have mild oral dyspraxia (low muscle tone in his mouth).Sigh.
Isn’t it funny how when someone points something out to you,
it all of a sudden becomes very noticeable.Just that morning my mother had asked me whether the OT had remarked on
Adam’s lisp. No I said, I hadn’t really noticed.
Last Friday, all the kids were playing a game at school
where you do funny actions with your tongue. You know, curl it up between your
teeth, roll it around, wag it from side to side.Adam couldn’t do any of it.(BTW, Kate is absolutely brilliant at it. Me?
Useless as well)
The OT said that she was just a bit concerned that Adam
was drooling a little, and that his tongue sticks out quite a bit.Marko is forever telling him to put his
tongue back in his mouth, but I’ve always thought it was kind of cute. You know
how some kids stick their tongue out when they concentrate?Adam does that, but perhaps more often than
The OT said it doesn’t seem very serious, but we don’t want
the other kids to tease him at school and say ‘Hey Adam, why is your tongue always
out!” so off to the speech therapist we go. Obviously Marko thinks it is all a
load of bollocks, but I am of the opinion that it can’t harm to get it checked
out, and if they can give him some exercises to help, then why not.
I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with Adam, no more
than there is with me (one could argue
that there is LOTS wrong with me!), he has similar sensory issues to what I
have, but if I can help him make his life a bit easier, then I am going to do
whatever it takes.He will be fine,
whether I take him to OT / speech therapy or not, but while I have the capacity
to give him these extra boosts, I will do it.
But I have to say, it does make me feel a little heart sore
and a little tired at the thought that any of my children might have to face even the
slightest challenge or difficulty in life.We all want our children to have happy,
healthy, non-challenging lives. And it does seem that for a sensitive, sensory
child like Adam, life can be just a touch more challenging than for a
take-no-prisoners child like Kate.
But it also makes me realize how very, very lucky I am that
my child’s ‘challenges’ are so mild, when there are those who face FAR more
severe challenges than any of us. One of my favourite bloggers in the world has
twin girls who were very premature, one of whom faces some of these challenges
and I am reminded in times like these of my friend’s grace and strength, as
well the grace, strength and beauty of her daughters.
And then, I am also always amazed at how these two children of mine,
who shared a womb, the same genetic pool and a very similar upbringing, can be
so very different.They shared the same
pod, but these two peas are very, very different.And I am grateful for that, because I am not
sure what I would do if both of them were the same flavor, whether that flavor was
super-sensitive or super-stubborn as it is with the two of them!
(PS Maybe I will strike it lucky and Max will be an
obedient, well behaved child who always does as his mother says.But then again, based on previous experience,
PPS Adam is wearing his sulky face because I let Kate hold Max first. What a little joy he can be sometimes.