So Close

Calling all bookish bloggers

My NBF Louise is doing a DIY book tour for her latest book and I told her I would get all my friends in the computer to support her because you guys are divine like that and any friend of mine is a friend of yours etc. So, please spread the word!

Are you single, feeling that biological clock ticking and getting a little nervous?

Or perhaps you are married with child, but you know of plenty of women who fit the description above?

Or do you just want to know what the HELL is going on in the minds of the growing number of single women who are becoming moms by using sperm donors?

Louise Sloan, author of the controversial new book Knock Yourself Up--which has been featured in Newsweek, London Times, salon.com and elsewhere--is looking for bloggers interested in reviewing her book (rather than just reporting on the controversy).

Knock Yourself Up is a combo of memoir and reporting, featuring the voices of nearly 50 sperm-donor single moms from across the U.S. and Canada. More info at www.knockyourselfup.com.

Upcoming news hooks include the April 25 U.S. release of the single-mother-by-choice-themed Hollywood comedy Baby Mama (www.babymamamovie.net), and U.S. Mother's Day, May 11th.

If you'd like a review copy, please contact Louise at knockyourselfup@gmail.com. Include your name, blog URL & average traffic, and mailing address.

(Story of how Louise and I became BFF - She sent me her book, which I loved. I then sent her my book, which she loved.  We started emailing back and forth and then I discovered Louise liked wine which made me like her even more. We then we started making videos of our kids for each other. And then we rode off into the sunset together. The End.)

 

‘So Close’ THIS Close

Gah. I have bad news. I haven’t been able to tell you all because I actually can’t bear to admit to myself what absolutely revolting bad luck this is.

One month before the UK release of my book, the publisher has gone into liquidation. ONE MONTH. The deal is off. After being THIS close to eventually getting it released overseas, we are back to square one.

I took the news really badly. So so disappointed. My book is about my incredible bad luck when it came to trying to have a child, and so it seems inordinately unfair that the book should suffer the same fate too.

Oh well, back to square one: cap in hand, looking for another publisher. My agent is going to try again but if any of you have contacts with someone Influential and Important in the publishing world, tell them to PLEASE have a look at my book. Offer to give them a blow job in return. You know I’d do it for you!

Naptime is the New Happy Hour

MotherTalk Book Review:  "Naptime is the new Happy Hour" by Stephanie Wilder-Taylor

I haven't done one of these MotherTalk book reviews for a while. I just haven't had the time recently to read anything for pleasure, all the books I choose are for the 'educational value'.  If it isn't going to teach me something, I don't have time to read it.  Terrible, I know!  What happened to pleasure?  Not quite sure. I think I penciled it in between 13:00 and 14:00.  Co-incidentally when my toddlers have their naptime too!

I started off not liking this book too much, I felt like Stephanie was trying too hard to be funny and irreverent.  But by the end of the book I really liked Stephanie and thought I could quite easily share a glass or two of Chardonnay with her. 

"Picking up where her last book (Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay) left off, Wilder-Taylor takes the reader through life after that hazy first year into a land where parents wonder: “Will refined sugar make my toddler’s head explode? Is it wrong to have a cocktail at two in the afternoon? And what exactly is a Backyardigan?”

From errands and haircuts with toddlers to surviving playdates, Wilder-Taylor will have readers laughing hysterically and nodding empathetically through the second year and beyond."

I must admit I did chuckle to myself along the way and nod my head in recognition at a lot of the book.  It is a light-hearted read that pokes a stick at the Perfect Parents (who are probably also part of the Parenting Police) and who quite often takes themselves far too seriously. 

Going back to my intro, I'm not sure the book 'taught' me anything as such, but it was an entertaining read nonetheless. An unintentional 'for pleasure' book. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.  Now if you'll excuse me, I think the Boeing just flew over*. Time for mommy's Chardonnay.

More info on the book here.  Buy the book here

*Do you use that expression there? I think it is a South African thing actually. No idea where it comes from, but if we use it here to to determine what time of the day it is appropriate to start drinking.  "Oh, I think the Boeing just flew over, time for a drink everyone". 

I love those Aussies plus my book on Amazon

I love the Aussies. Well, actually, I HATE it when we play sport against them, because those bloody Aussies always beat us.  Annoys the shit out of me.  South Africa and Australia are very competitive on the sports field.  Bloody Warne. And Lee.  That Lee bloke is far too cocky.

Anyway, I love Australians.  They have the best sense of humour.  Australians can take a joke and they love taking the piss at themselves.  So considering my fondness for those Aussies, imagine how delighted I was when one of their top bloggers Karen Cheng asked whether she could interview me on her blog!!!  Really, really cool. Check out the interview here.

And even cooler, you will notice that my book is available for pre-order on Amazon - EVENTUALLY!! Unfortunately my US agent wont give up the US rights for the book, so the book is only available on Amazon UK, but I am sure you Americans can get it from there to?  At least it is one step closer. V v exciting!!! (Don' t you just love the new cover??  Love it)

My book is also available from Tesco, Play.com, Waterstones, Blackwell and WHSmith

To end off, I thought I would do a little quiz. A competition of sorts. The winner will get a weekend away with Marko and the kids.  I'll be at home reading books and drinking wine.

How much money do you think you think I've earned from my book to date.  Total amount including any advances, royalties, commission etc, excluding any expenses.  Answer revealed tomorrow.

Knock Yourself Up

I’ve just read the most marvelous book entitled “Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom” by Louise Sloan. It is a fabulous book and an absolute Must Read for anyone who is thinking about becoming a single mom.

“Knock Yourself Up features Louise’s own hilarious and heart-warming story, plus the experiences of other women from all over the U.S. who decided they wouldn’t let being single stand in the way of creating a family. This entertaining and informative book is required reading for any single woman over 30 who thinks she might want kids someday.”

Many single moms by choice (SMC) have to do some type of assisted reproductive procedure, so I could relate to some of that. I loved this book so much, and by the end of it I loved Louise too. She is really funny. I’ve been emailing back and forth with her*.  V G&D.  Such a fabulous insight into this world.

A friend of mine has three children, the first one she raised as a single mom for 6 years until she met her current husband. She says that while there are definite pluses to raising children when in a committed relationship, the six years she spent as a single mom to her son were some of the best times of her life. Even though she battled financially, and had some tough times, there were so many golden moments when it was just the two of them. Louise speaks about that too, and in a way, I am a little envious of that. I wouldn’t give up my husband for the world (ok, so maybe I would consider offers between 500k-1m USD), but sometimes I do fantasize about what it would be like. To be on my own with the kids. Sounds terribly disloyal doesn’t it. I only really have these thoughts when he is being an absolute asshole and it is either leave him or kill him. The thought of never having to share or compromise on the parenting thing does sound rather delicious. Plus as Louise and my friend say, if there is no partner, there is no opportunity for that age old resentment about who does more or whose turn it is; it is always your turn. Which is exactly why being a single mom is both wonderful and exhausting at the same time.

I would love to hear some thoughts from my SMC friends out there.  Especially those who have done both, been in a relationship and done the single mother thing. What has your experience been like? What advice would you give to others? What about those who are choosing to wait for “Mr or Ms Right” before having children? Why aren’t you pursuing single motherhood? V interested to hear your thoughts on this. (BTW, I have two SMC friends who have twins! Now THAT is a tough job.)

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*Louise told me that she received a stack of hate mail from some people, so I asked her why:

"Oh, because I'm a selfish, man-hating, fatherhood-bashing monstrosity who didn't give a moment's thought to how my choice might affect my child, I was too busy thinking about me, me, me; in fact I had him as a lifestyle accessory, like an expensive purse or an espresso maker. "

Can you actually believe there are people like that out there!  Stupid assholes. I couldn't believe it.  But she says that 99% of the feedback has been amazingly positive and I can understand why. Really divine book. For SMC or for anyone else.

Read more here. Buy the book here

Sticking to my knitting

As you know, I am part of the Mother Talk group of bloggers who participate in their cyber books tours. How it works is that the organizers will send out an email with a list of books up for review that month and invite bloggers to choose or book or two to review. 

The books up for review cover a vast range of topics, from fiction to non-fiction – food / babies / health / fashion – you name it. All that they have in common is that they are written by women, for women.

Because the last time I read a book purely for pleasure was 17 million years ago, before I had kids, I usually pick books that have something to do with children. Sleep books / discipline books / child care ‘expert’ books. Which doesn’t really say too much for the books seeing as my kids don’t eat or sleep properly, nor do they listen to me. But that could just be me. I am clearly a slow learner.

So this time, when the list went around, I decided to stray completely out of my current reality and choose a book that had absolutely nothing to do with children. What could be further from poopy diapers and toddler tantrums than Fashion and Style? This month I choose Nina García’s “Little Black Book of Style”

Nina García is apparently the fashion director at Elle magazine and a formidable judge on Bravo’s Project Runway. I say ‘apparently’ because the world of fashion is so totally removed from mine that she could be the next President of the Fashion Empire and I wouldn’t know.

The blurb for Nina’s book went as follows:

“The Little Black Book of Style provides the essential rules for fashion that every woman should know. From pointers on how to create your own sense of style, to uncovering what makes you look and feel good, García offers readers the ultimate guide to dressing their best.”

Sounds fabulous, doesn’t it? And it is. It is a fabulous little book. Beautifully illustrated, appealingly put together in a little black book full of tips and hints and inner secrets from the world of fashion. And all completely useless to me. That world is just too far removed from my own.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a great book and for someone who lives in that kind of world, it would be a really great gift. If you have a girlfriend whose world is made up of dinner parties, little black dresses and matching shoes and bags, then this is a fabulous ‘stocking filler’. But for someone whose bra doesn’t even match her panties, never mind her shoes matching her bag, it was all a bit of a waste of time.

Next time I’ll stick to the stuff that really interests me: the little black book of mommyhood.

(BTW, it really is a lovely book. Rose thoroughly enjoyed it. She is way more stylish than I am)

Read more about the book here    Buy the book here

Blow job and film crews

Have blow job at 8:30 and then TV film crew arriving at 10am to do interview and shoot.  The lifestyle of the poor and almost famous!

Sister Mel was interviewed yesterday for the show and also got a blow job (plus brows) before the filming. Us Loebenberg girls suffer from frizzy-hair-syndrome. V sad. Frizzy hair and big noses. Doesn't sound v attractive, does it.  Thank goodness for our scintillating personalities, sharp wit and devastating charm.   

MUST tell you about new shrink I went to see yesterday. Am feeling so full of hope, for the first time in a long time. Things are moving in the right direction. We have a plan! Will tell all after shoot.

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Sorry! Had to take this post down temporarily while they were filming. They like to take shots of my blog and references to blow jobs as the first post is not exactly 'family viewing' material.

Filming went fine. Hair looked fabulous. More later.

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It is later and I v v tired.  Oddly, I am completely not in the mood for talking. Which is a bit of pain as I have SO much I want to talk about, but it has been a bit of a hectic week and I am feel completely exhausted.  Apologies for being such an excruciating bore lately. Don't what has come over me.  Feeling completely uninspired.  Off to bed. xx

Stage #1

Businesswomen's Association Women of Substance Morning
"A platform for the inspiration and empowerment of women"

Read more here

(Wish me luck dear friends)

Stage - 1, Couch - 0.

Don't ever say I don't listen to you. I agreed to do both the TV show and the talk.  Details to follow shortly.  Eek!

The Couch or the Stage

I got two emails today, both of which make me feel completely anxious. The one is a request for a TV interview (a new show, sounds quite good) and the other is a request to speak at a fairly high profile event. Both ideas make me want to puke. Especially the speaking thing.

My mother always says “write it down”. Write down all the good points and bad points and see how you feel afterwards.  So here goes:

       

The Stage:  Why I should do it

The Couch:  Why I should not do it

It will be good PR for my book It will hopefully lead to more sales and I need my $1.50 per        book It will help build my personal brand, which could lead to… Increased opportunities to do new and exciting things I could meet new people and create more networks I could help other people The TV thing is not that scary I always dread the speaking thing so much but it often ends        up being quite fun The more I speak, the better I will get I could become a professional speaker one day (VOMIT) and        this will help Doing this type of stuff is brave, and I need to be brave “Feel the fear and do it anyway”

I will have to take a day’s leave I will miss a night putting my kids to bed It is easier to stay at home, on the couch It is scary It makes me feel very nervous It makes me want to puke I am tired of being brave I don’t want to do it

I am so torn. Do it because it is the right thing to do. Don’t do it, it is scary and horrible and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I am scared to say yes and I am scared that if I say no, I will be disappointed in myself.

The couch or the stage?

Dammit, I HATE the stage. I hate this kind of stuff.  I’ve never wanted to be in the limelight, I just wanted to chirp from the sidelines.

I was leaning towards no, and then I read my friend Carol’s Facebook profile and her bloody quote is “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. Dammit Carol, all your fault!!!

What should I do?

(PS V cool interview / feature on me in the latest edition of 'My Week', the Western Cape edition, last page <-----  See, that shit I don't mind. Magazine articles.  No stress. The TV shit..., a little more stressful, but manageable. The public speaking thing....Total Freak Out)