So Close

Twitter for dummies

Let it be said I’m a bit of an Internet slut. I’ll try anything once. But most of the stuff on the Net is either too complicated, completely pointless, a waste of time or it has a small willy. And my time is too precious to waste on any of the above. There are however, some things that captivate me and keep me interested long enough to keep coming back for more. Blogging is clearly one of them. Thousands of blogs are started every day but many die out after a while. I’ve been blogging almost daily for the last four years. Clearly blogs and blogging works for me.

Facebook is another thing I’ve taken a shine too. I am not as addicted as I was in the beginning, but I still love Facebook for its amazing ability to connect me to people I haven’t seen in years and years. It is social networking at its best. (PS If you want to add me as a Facebook friend, you are welcome to do so, but please let me know who you are.)

I love Flickr, and I love LinkedIn. MySpace I’ve never really got but perhaps that is because I am Very Old.

My latest ‘thing’ is Twitter. Twitter has been around for ages but I’ve only recently ‘got’ Twitter. What is Twitter, you ask? Twitter is micro-blogging, which is a bit like a combination between Facebook and blogging, combined into an RSS / feeder type thingy. Basically, you sign up for Twitter (VERY easy), and then you post updates (like mini blog entries) whenever the mood grabs you.  People follow your Twitter stream and you can follow the Twitter stream of people you like. Or don’t like. There is apparently certain etiquette about following someone who is following you, but because people sign up with all sorts of pseudonyms, I have no idea who they are. You can set your updates to private if you are paranoid about that type of thing, but if you are, then you probably shouldn’t sign up for Twitter. 

So basically, Twitter allows you can keep up with the lives of all the people who interest you in one single page.

Now, it sounds very boring, which is what I thought in the beginning. Why on earth would I want to follow the updates of someone’s boring life? And yes, why on earth would you, but Twitter is a lot like blogging: there are some bloody awful, boring blogs out there just as there are some pretty boring Twits / Twitters (still trying to work out the lingo) around. I’d advise against following the boring Twits. But some people are really funny in their updates and it is a great way to keep up with where people are at in a single page. 

The thing I love about Twitter is that it gives me a single snapshot in to this diverse world of people who interest me, fellow mommy bloggers, geeks, famous people, not so famous people, all updated in one single page. Love it.

Sign up for Twitter here. You can follow my stream here. For more on info on Twitter, refer to this excellent article.

Happy Twittering!

Best South African Personal Blog for 2008

Thanks to you dudes and dudettes, I am a WINNA!  Yip, I won Best Personal Blog for 2008.  I won a bottle of wine and a tree.  It was the year of the Green Awards.  Thanks to the wonderful organizers, the Very Cool Jon Cherry, the Absolutely Gorgeous and If-Only-I-Was-17-Years-Younger, Rafiq Phillips and the rest of the crew.

Speaking of having one foot in the grave, the event was held at my alma mater, the University of Cape Town, and driving through there, looking at the Oh So Very young students, I felt really old.  I can't believe that I was there TWENTY YEARS ago.  Twenty years!!  How the hell did that happen. 

So, I was about a hundred years older than the average blogger at the Blog Awards ceremony.  Which was particularly unceremonious.  Very low key, making my choice of high heels and cleavage not exactly ideal.  Dinner was pizza and the wine was decanted from a box which may or may not have been there since I was last at University.  Pizza and cheap wine..... flashbacks to my Varsity days. 

It was a great evening and very nice to put faces to names.  Thanks dear Fartbags for voting for me.  You are all invited to my house to share the wine with me. 

Sent to me by a blog reader.  Perfect!!

Blogging no-nos

Poor Sister Mel. She posted a note today about Blogging No-Nos. Being a bloggie newbie of just over a year old, she is clearly still learning the ropes. She was recently called to task after making the fatal error of publicly admitting that, although she loves all animals, yes, even dogs, she would prefer not to have a crotch-sniffer of her own. Shock horror! Melly, you must never, ever admit to not wanting a dog as a pet. People are very sensitive about dogs. And God. And cyclists. And bathing and helmets and getting defensive and all sorts of other things.

When you admitted to being a spanker I nearly choked on my Chardonnay! ARE YOU MAD?? Why don’t you just admit to doing drugs and cheating on your husband?? No, there are certain things one should never admit to on one’s blog. Not if you don’t want to draw furious debate and lots of finger pointing. Plus the occasional troll.

A safe bet is to talk about the organic, homemade meal you lovingly prepared for your family. But make sure you mention that you have NOTHING against those who eat non-organic, store bought meals and how you respect everyone’s right to eat what they want and that you would never judge someone for the food choices they made. Then make sure you donate all your money EQUALLY to both the starving children and the abused animals.

Or you could be like me and blog warts and all, the good bits, the not so good bits and the emotionally defensive over-reactions. And people can either like you for who you are, or they can fuck right off. Simple, really.

Best Friends FOREVA!

Dear Best Friend

You know how you have been wanting to show me for AGES how much you love and adore me, but just haven't found the perfect way to show me how much?

Well, fret no more.  I have the perfect solution, just for you!

Vote for me in the SA Blog Awards and show me how much you care. Or else I will know you hate me with a white hot passion. 

Click on the beautifully crafted handmade (made by someone else's hand) button thingy below and vote for me in the TWO (2) catagories I am a finalist in - Best Weblog of the Year and Best South African Personal Blog. It is the first and last category.  Concentrate! Don't click the wrong darn button and pick someone else. 

Vote now!  Or else the fleas of a 1000 camels will infest your armpits and your bum will grow closed. 

With much fondness,
Your Best Friend FOREVA,
Tertia

PS There is no prize for this competition.  It would just be the satisfaction of having a decrepit old mommy blogger beat those young whippersnapper geeks at their own game. Go Momma Go!

PPS.  You know, I have the rudest friends. I sent a little note to one or two of my friends, and these are the first responses I get back:

"i already voted for you AGES ago, so you can stick your email"

"Ja ok done – you whore"

"Your email is SOOO late. I voted for you about half an hour ago, so stop sending me best friend emails, otherwise I will take back my vote darling ;)"

"You are awful, bee-otch."

"How many donors do you have?"

" Dear Tertia.  It will be an honor to vote for you in the best WebBoobs of the year!"

"I am out of the office until 17th March."

It was the last one that I found most hurtful.

PS Guess which one is from the Divine Dr H (my fertility doctor)?  That man has a one track mind. 

Sad

Goodness!  Please don't post anything on the Baby Center board, the members there have been absolutely wonderful.  I feel more sorry for them than for me.  They are the ones who were betrayed and duped.  This person invaded their personal safe place and took them for a ride.  They were the ones who alerted me.  Thanks to all of you from BC and I am so sorry that this happened.  I hope your 'home' goes back to its lovely warm place again soon.

Sister Mel sms'ed me this morning asking why I wasn't more freaked out.  I am not sure I why I wasn't more freaked out.  I guess because firstly she didn't post anything nasty (she really did seem to love my husband and children and I've always fancied having a second wife around) and secondly, I felt sorry for her.  (I feel sorry for everyone)  I think she must be really lonely and disturbed and so I feel sorry for her. 

However, that was before I found out her real identity.  Even more disturbing than posting the pics (I thought she was some random stranger), I found out this morning that the same person has recently corresponded with me directly via her real name.  She has been commenting on this blog and when I recently asked if anyone could help my sister, she sent me an email offering her help and I put her in touch my sister.  I am really cross about that.  I could have placed my sister in a dangerous situation and that makes me very, very cross.

It makes me cross that I now have to think of things like keeping my pictures private and all sorts of security things that make the world ugly and dark to me. I so badly want to live in a light, good world.

I am also cross that she is a South African (living abroad).  We are supposed to be African sisters, we aren't supposed to do this to each other.

I still feel sorry for her though.  I feel sorry for her because she has been outed and she has lost her community. (She was posting on that board under her real name for the last three years). I think she is really lonely (she is living in a foreign, non-English speaking country) and now she she has lost her online community as well. 

I know she is reading this.  I am sorry about this.  When I posted the note last night I didn't know it was you.  I liked talking to you via email, you seemed so nice. I would have carried on.  Why did you do it? Are you ok?  Do you need someone to talk to? Those girls on the board really cared about you, the real you. Perhaps you could reach out to one of them. 

So, I am not freaked out by this, I actually feel quite sad about it. Call me stupid, but I am worried about her. And her kids. 

(I have got to get over this thing about wanting to rescue the world. Its exhausting.)

Creepy stalker

How creepy is this!  Just got this note in my inbox:

"I thought I should bring it to your attention that there has been a woman that has been impersonating you on our Parents of Toddler Twins board on Babycentre UK.  She has been using your photos and pretending to be you.  Here are the links for you to see..."

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2266

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2212

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2188

Creepy huh.  All the images she uses are from my Flickr account.  What should I do? 

(BTW, I had to have a good laugh! She claims she is 8 weeks pregnant, and uses a photo of me with the caption "Pregnant fairy" - hahahaha!  Fuck.  Told you I had a sticky out belly! On a more positive note, she claims to be 7 years younger than I am. So I might look permanently pregnant, but at least I look younger than my years)

Please nominate me

Apparently today is the last day for nominations for the South African blog awards, so while I am busy carefully wording my update to the emotional well-being post, please pop over and nominate me for many and various awards.  Awards that come with no financial gain but will make me feel all special inside.  Oh, and while you are there, please vote for my sister's blog as well (Best New Blog, Best Social Upliftment etc).  Ta. (Just click on the logo thingy below)

Bloggies 2008: Riding on the coattails of her shameful begging

Grrr.  I just wrote a post up and I lost it. V v annoying. 

So instead I refer you to my NBF, Australian blogger Karen Cheng's post about The Bloggies 2008.  She nominated *me* for best African blog so naturally I am nominating her for best Australian blog.  Because it is not what you know, but who are you BFF with.

If you are bored and in a loving mood, please nominate Karen and me (I?) for your favourite Australian and African blogger respectively.  Because the world needs more bloggers who spell the word 'favourite' correctly.

Copying from Karen's post:

Nominations for The Bloggies 2008

Nomination for The 8th Annual Blog Awards are on!

Every year I wonder how I should approach the “blog awards season”. Sure, they are always such a great way to discover new blogs, support my favourite blogs, and visit blogs that have dropped off my list during the year. But in terms of being nominated and voted for, I’ve learnt that it pays to beg shamefully and promise lots of love and eternal sunshine.

This is just nomination stage, so it’s really exciting to be one of the finalists. So please please nominate me! Thank you! Go to the awards site and fill in the URLs!

You don’t have to register, but you do need to give your email (at the end) to validate the nomination.

You also have to make sure that at least three different blogs in total must be nominated throughout your whole nomination form.

And you have to nominate by Friday, January 11 2008. Quick quick!

Best Australian or New Zealand Weblog
Karen Cheng - www.karencheng.com.au

Best Asian Weblog
Karen Cheng - www.karencheng.com.au

Best African Weblog              <------ That's Karen voting for me!!
Tertia - www.tertia.org

Plus you need one other. I'll let you choose.

I'll be back later to tell you about how my first day on diet went, and whether I managed to (a) not cheat in terms of sweets / chips and (b) not have wine last night.  What do you think?

Welcome to my new look

Blog redesign by the fabulous Mark Forrester.

Now I know people don't like change, but once you get used to it I am sure you will love it as much as I do.

If you are looking for a blog redesign, get hold of Mark.  He was very patient and didn't get irritated once when I asked him for the 100th time if we could just move this or change that. He is very reasonably priced and we did it all via email and Skype.  He lives in London and I live in Cape Town.  Global village and all that.

Thanks Mark, love my new look blog. Hope my boobs turn out just as nicely.