My children have iPads - get over it.

Warning: This is going to be a blog post about totally meaningless internet drama (albeit a small drama).  Do not read on if this type of thing bores you.

As you might know, we are a big iPad family. Before the iPad, I never used to be a big Apple fan, not for any particular reason but just because it seemed like all the trendy types had iPhones and Macs and I hate being a slave to any 'trend'. I am anti-trend. But everything about the iPad appealed to me and I decided to treat myself by buying an iPad when it came out two or three years ago.  

I loved the iPad from the minute I got it.  Before it became so popular, people used to ask me if I bought the iPad for business and I used to be honest with them - I couldn't even pretend I bought the iPad for work, it was 100% sheer pleasure.

The kids loved the iPad too, as did Marko. Soon I had to fight to get a chance on my own iPad and so I decided to get the twins their own iPad each. And then Marko wanted one too. And then I upgraded mine and we gave Adam's old one to Max and my old one to Adam.  And just like that we were a five iPad family. And we all absolutely adore our iPads.  The kids watch movies on the iPad plus play the games they each love. Kate has lots of games where you have to collect animals and feed them etc. Adam has games where you race cars. Max has games where you need to find pieces of a puzzle etc.  Plus we have loads of educational games that the kids love too. In fact, Max taught himself the entire Alphabet at two years old due to the iPad.  What I love about iTunes is that you buy the games / movies once and you can either load them all to all of the iPads or choose particular games per iPad.  Apps and movies for the kids are my absolute weakness, I have spent literally thousands on iTunes. Hello my name is Tertia and I am addicted to iTunes.  

Besides our beach bag, swimming costumes and body-boards, our iPads are our main holiday accessory.  When we were away on holiday in December, I posted a picture with a tongue in cheek caption saying: "Essential Albertyn family holiday accompaniment."  Instead of TV in the evenings they all play on their iPads for an hour or so. As do I. 

The picture was a self-depreciating joke as it makes us look like a bunch of geeks. Which we are, maybe. Well, I am. The rest of them are pretty normal.

Within a few minutes someone (who I assumes follows me on Twitter or else how would she have seen the pic?) posted a tweet saying the following:

Really?  You either don't know me at all (because if you did, you would know that my kids spend 90% of their time outside in the garden / on the beach / in the pool - have you seen how tanned they are!) or if you do know me and you still put that out there then you are a bigger troll than I thought. Also, yes that is a cowardly passive-aggressive sub tweet.

The conversation went on:

Addicted? Why would you assume from one picture (assuming you didn't know me - if so, why are you folling me on Twitter?) that my children are addicted? Also, for someone who apparently "hates judging" you are very judgy.   

And in answer to the question "why any kid under 16 (at least)" needs an iPad the answer is: no one *needs* iPad. Not me, not you. Certainly not a child. No child needs an iPad.  They also don't *need* 99% of the toys they have. My children have iPads because that is part of how we like entertaining ourselves. The other parts involve going to the beach, climbing trees, finding bugs, playing cricket and soccer etc.  

I hate how people are so quick to judge things that are not the norm or that are different to their lives. Yes my kids have iPads - why is your first assumption that having an iPad = total addiction? Believe it or not, there is such a thing as moderation and control. I have control over my children and I would not allow them to do anything to excess whether it is iPads or any other activity.

At first I thought it was amusing that someone was misinformed enough to tweet that but then it irritated me.  I suspect there may be an element of jealousy invovled too. But that isn't licence to act like a troll.  "Sub-tweet" - whatever! 

Believe me when I say that I know how fortunate I am that I am able to afford iPads for my kids. I don't take that good fortune lightly. I also know that it gets up some people's noses terribly that my kids each have their own iPad.  I know, and my kids know, how lucky we are.  Don't forget that we all have different priorities and different desires. Your desires might involve holidays / cars / clothes / eating out / whatever.  Our desires involve gadgets and electronics.  And other things too of course, but this is not a post about how much my children love the beach and how good they are at body-boarding and swimming. (they are AWESOME at it! Total beach bums.)

This post has waffled on long enough, even I am bored with it now. The main point I wanted to say (besides that the tweeter above is a total troll) is that do not assume that if a child has an iPad it means that that is all they do to the exclusion of everything else.  That is total rubbish. A child can have his or her own iPad and still spend 90% of their time playing outside.  Even I couldn't spend my whole day on my iPad and I am the biggest iPad lover ever.  A child having an iPad does NOT mean he is addicted to it.  That's just silly to assume that. 

PS if the worst thing I do is allow my kids to have an iPad then I am doing well. I have far greater flaws that could be discussed but we will leave the conversation as is ;)

PPS I don't know the person who did the judgy sub-tweet, someone who knows her sent the image to me. I still don't actually know who she is but she has admitted that she was referring to me. 

Comments

[Corrie206]

I see no problem with kids having ipads, especially if the parents are involved as you are. I remember when households started getting computers, growing up I was lucky to have parent that could afford this luxury item, and some parents had the same arguments about me using computer. But, I have excellent parents and we shared lots of time learning to program the damned machine. :) iPads and other tablets are the future, and will replace print media for kids so quick, rather have then learn and be able to use this from early.

[Anja]

I have the same in my family, but we have iphones. All our old iphones have gone to the kids (age 2 & 4). I put educational games, story books and movies that I feel fit onto them. They have saved me from killing them during long car rides, have helped me get work done at home when I had a tough deadline and my kids know iOS like the back of their hands - even at age 2. I feel extremely proud of this - no shame/no guilt.

and that's that. *shrug*

[Dawn]

I'm pretty sure your kids spend less time on their iPads than my kid spends staring at the tv. Wonder how much time that person's kids spend doing non outdoorsy stuff. Mine chooses educational games way more often than the fun stuff. Win :)

Xx

[Jean]

When I saw the picture of all the Ipads, I knew you would get negative blowback. Tertia, you work so hard, and the reason you can afford to give Ipads to your entire family is because you have EARNED it. And your kids are not electronics zombies, at least no more than anyone else's kids. They are well-rounded, busy bees, who also like to veg out with their Ipad sometimes.

We are all indulgent of our kids in our own ways, and that is yours. I too love my Ipad, and can barely be parted with it, and find it so annoying when my kids swipe it from me. I won't put any of their apps on mine so that they are less motivated to borrow it. They use my husband's, and now since Christmas they have their own Ipod touches (given to them by a generous aunt, not by me), and they have to be content with that, because I won't spend the money on Ipads for them.

I understand why you would feel the need to defend yourself against this troll, but I wish you didn't have to. You have nothing to apologize for about your life.

[Chickenpig]

Yes, there are kids that need Ipads, it's called autism. Also, my High School's entire senior class was provided with Ipads this year because it saves on book costs. Hello, a kid can store a whole library of children's books on a tablet. In small towns like mine where the little town library is limited, my tablet can get my kids any children's book available. My kids are addicted to books, I'm addicted to books. We have many, many, many actual books, but we have many more. I have a Kindle Fire, though, I find the Ipad really expensive, although my son is on a list for one from Autism Speaks. The apps that are available to help kids with communication issues of all kinds are amazing.

Yes, limiting screen time is important, but anyone who has ever read this blog knows your kids live outside. Mine do too. But when my kids want quiet downtime I would rather have them doing something interactive on my tablet than just passively watching TV.

[Amy]

I'm sorry about the troll, there are unfortunately some very jealous people out there. With that said, even I let out a snort of disbelief seeing that picture. I have four kids- 8,6,4 and 1, and my older 3 are always asking for "just 5 minutes" on my iPad. To which I say, "absolutely not". And it has nothing to do with screentime. They can watch TV, they can play Lego games on the computer or Disney Junior games. But the iPad, forget it. That iPad was (and is) expensive. I had misgivings about buying myself one. (As did you! You even stated you "treated" yourself.) I've let them know that if they want one, they can save their money and get one themselves. It's not just the iPad- I had a massive battle with my mother over those "American Girl" dolls. I could not get over that she wanted my daughter to have a $100 doll. I lost the battle (she gave my girl the doll) but won the war- no tea parties at the store, no accessories (like furniture or a horse), and she is not to buy a "friend" for the first.

I suspect the troll's tweet was less about the iPad usage but about that ALL THREE of your young kids have their own iPad. Good for them. Good for you. It's great that you can do that for your kids, and the iPad is wonderful. But you must have known that you'd get a little blowback from posting that picture of conspicuous consumption.

[Miss W]

Don't let it bother you. My 7yo had my old 1st gen iPad when I got 2nd gen...then my husband bought himself the 3rd gen, and for Christmas, my son asked for the mini as he'd held one in the store and said it was a better size for his hands...so Santa brought him one. We take long car rides frequently (as in 8-10 hour car rides). His having an ipad is pretty essential at those times - he watches movies, he READS BOOKS, he plays games... and best of all? He doesn't drive us out of our ever loving minds being cooped up that long. He also has one of our old iPhones (sim card removed so it isn't so much a "phone" anymore) that I can carry in my bag easily for game playing when things like waits for dr visits, my haircut etc. take longer than expected and we didn't have the foresight to bring something entertaining. Meanwhile, this am I offered him some video game time as a reward before school and what did he choose? To set up an elaborate battle spanning the living room with his chess pieces.

Our vacation generally includes a scene like your picture - all the iThings charging in a row. Why people feel the need to judge others' parenting choices I don't know. The only thing that I can think is that there is some element of making themselves feel better at what their children do NOT have by stating that what yours do have is in some way detrimental. Don't think for a moment that if that same person's child was offered, free of charge, their own ipad that she wouldn't take it. Heck, I have a friend who made all those comments...and this Christmas bought one for one of her children. Go figure ;)

[Lisa]

The only thing that bothers me about this post is that you felt the need to respond and justify yourself. I mean, honestly, the woman's "sub-tweet" is just ridiculous and petty and trifling. Tertia, you know what kind of mother you are (obviously G&D and amazing). Own it.

[Juliet]

Hmmmm... the lady doth protest too much.

[Marisol]

same thing here; no issues. We do not turn the TV on until 7 or 8 PM, after that, there is a choice of TV or Ipad for a bit. Ocasionally, half an hour of father-son car racing at the computer, after dinner. That's it. The rest is playing inside-outside, school, reading, cooking, laughing...
My son is 3 1/2 and he has an Ipad since he was 2 years old. Great with it in a matter of minutes! He always takes good care of it too. My only issue is with my daughter (17 months old). She is starting to be interested in it (she wants to do EVERYTHING her brother does) and wants to touch it (normally she gets in the way of my son's Ipad, which is the beginning of a fight). I would not have a problem as I have a few nice baby apps with shapes and easy puzzles, except that she wants to "experiment" with it too: throw it, hammer or write on it. As if it was a doll or her dinner plate. Clearly, she does not get that it is a fine piece of work... When I say no and take it from her, she gets really mad so I opted to hide my Ipad until she is asleep and try to play with her at night where she cannot see Maximiliano's Ipad.
My husband says "let's buy her a used Ipad". I say no, those are expensive too; let's wait until she understand the concept of taking care of something. Maybe at 2 or so.
How young was Max when he got his first Ipad? Did he ever damage it?

[Marisol]

One more thing about remembering when households started to have computers, as one reader said. I remember when people started to have TV in COLOR!!! I am not THAT old (I like to think) but in Argentina, we started in the '80s... I remember how people used to say that they would not buy one because it was bad for the eyes! LOL. Until they became more affordable, of course.

[Betsy]

My kid has a Nook that he uses like a tablet. He's three. We plan to buy him an iPad in the next year or so taking advantage of Apple's discount for homeschooling families. I see nothing wrong with them as entertainment.

[Terrie from oz]

There have been many eloquent responses.. so please let me add mine - bollocks to the troll! She can parent her way and leave you the hell alone. Judgy McTroll.

[Kathleen]

I don't see anything wrong with iPads per se. Seeing a pile of them does say to me that your family must have money. I think most families can't afford an iPad for each person. You are lucky to be able to afford to do that.

[21stcenturyMom]

It's all just jealousy - trust me. I hate you Moms who buy your kids fun toys and don't buy one for ME! Damn you.

ps- did you know you can get water proof cases for the iPads? Just sayin'

[margalit (@margalit)]

We don't have Ipads because we are part of the poor in America. But I don't have any issue with what you have. In our house we have 3 laptops and a desktop computers. My daughter bought me the el-cheapo Kindle and I freaking LOVE it. 1000 books, a bunch of games, what's not to like? If I had excess $$ maybe I'd get myself an Ipad, however I am notoriously stingy and the thaught os spending that amount of money for a toy....not gonna happen. But I'm glad you're making enough $$ to get your kids Ipad. Will you adopt me?

[beck]

My dear Tertia. You (as you know) are utterly gorgeous and divine and so are your lovely iPads. Different stuff works for different folks. Enjoy!

[Stefanie]

Wish I was your kid! I don't even have an Ipad. My 16 year old has in Iphone, I don't.

[Sharon]

So funny how people love to judge! Keep on groovin Tertia! I love my Ipad-they are the best!

[Erica]

I think she's totally jealous. I totally am! You are an awesome mother doing a great job. Ignore the troll xx

[Sara]

It's funny to read this, because a couple of weeks ago my sister expressed concern about the fact that she hasn't gotten ipads for her five-year-old, four-year-old, and two-year-old. Apparently all of the other kids in her neighborhood have them, and she is worried that her kids are getting left behind on the technology train, but at the same time, she also knows that her two oldest would just break them immediately and then confiscate the ipad of the youngest, so she doesn't want to waste the money until they're old enough to be at least somewhat responsible. You just can't win as a mother. Whatever you do, someone out there thinks it's wrong. Sigh.

[Alexicographer]

@Sara's comment made me laugh. This is the important point, to remember that whatever you are doing as a mother: it is wrong! Now, let's all carry on.

[Sarah]

I love the iPad as a tool for children, and both my children used ours since before they were eighteen months old. They don't have their own, and I won't let them use it on a daily basis, but let's be honest here. They've both clocked up a lot of ipad hours.

But both my husband and I are geeks. Similarly, I am a huge bookworm, and my children have a ridiculous amount of books considering they can't read yet (well, my son almost can). Meanwhile, my husband is a biking enthusiast, so we also have a bike trailer and my son has a balance bike, and we watch BMX videos on Youtube for fun. Neither of us are particularly musical, and uncoincidentally the children have never had music lessons.

Families share their own interests, and that's just a fact! I do think actual iPads are better than the Vtech or LeapFrog gadgets, but really it's less about how much screentime your kids are allowed and more about how you share that with them.

[Stephanie]

I think the iPad comment has more to do with money-iPads are pricey, to have 5 in the family does indicate that you have money. But honestly.....so what. It has been apparent over the large, large number of years I have been reading this blog (since before even the twins!) that you have money. You are well off, can afford to treat yourself to nice things and sometimes, when it's worth it to you, you do treat yourself. It's not a zero sum game- your having "more" does not mean others have "less".

As it happens I have 2 iPads -and when my husband upgrades his, there'll be one for the kids. Maybe one for each if they play Grandma right-she has several iPads, kindles, kindle fires ;-)

[Anna in Turin]

Tertia, here in Italy there is pilot project to load school books on tablets. This year my son gota tablet for his birthday and is the only 10 year old amongst his schoolmates and friends to have one. We figured he should get familiar with it so that when the public school system finally gets itself together, he will be ready to go (and we will probably have to upgrade his 70€ generic tablet). We control what our son does on the tablet and he is not allowed to take it with him without our permission. I believe we need to train our kids to live in the 21st century. At this very moment, my son is making a table with excel for his geography class rather than tediously writing it all out; his teacher gave them the option, we taught him the basics of excel and now he is on his own. I love computers, tablets, e-book readers and I am not a computer/techie geek at all. I find the e-book reader saves us lots of space and weight when we travel (as does the portable dvd reader).

[D]

@Chickenpig, YES. My daughter's speech therapist was telling me that for kids with autism, personal communication devices used to cost upwards of 15000 pounds and were clunky and obvious-looking. Now an iPad loaded with a (very expensive, admittedly) communication app provides the same function and has the benefit of blending in--everyone has tablets or smartphones. Bless the iPad; we have come so far with our daughter because of it. They are wonderful.

As for recreational purposes only? Eh. If you can stay ahead of the tech curve, more power to you. That's where the money careers are. Learn it early.

[SheBee]

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE MONEY! THE INTERNET TROLLS MUST H8, IT'S THE LAW.

ps: fuck that trollytroll, who cares what you do as long as your kids are happy, healthy AND HAVE iPADS. U SO BAD. H8 U.

[Do I sound trollish enough?]

xxx

[KatS]

We did it. We bit the bullet and bought our twins iPads. We did this as they are avid readers and our daughter is wearing out the battery of an extinct iPod listening to music. We thought about getting the kid versions of tablets, then determined we wouldn't be able to easily use our extensive iTunes library (most of which we laboriously downloaded from our CD stock). So Walmart (yes, we broke down and shopped there) had a deal we couldn't pass for Black Friday and we go the best deal ever and each twin got their own iPad. And I do not regret it. They read, surf the net for educational information, listen to music... Some games and some tv but they do a lot of reading on there.

[L]

Ok, just to kind of be the dissenting voice - I don't think there's anything wrong with kids having an ipad. However, I didn't see anything particularly trollish in this commentor's tweet. She may have later admitted to it being about you, but based on the screenshot you showed didn't actually put your name in the tweet. If someone hadn't sent it on to you, it would have been a comment that likely her friends would not have connected to anyone in particular. She was expressing an opinion to something she came across on the internet, and I hate that the knee jerk reaction is that she's a troll or jealous. Criticism doesn't always come from being a hater or jealous - it comes from having a dissenting opinion on how things should be done. We all have them. We have all judged at one point or another. Right or wrong, it doesn't make us jealous haters, it makes us human.

And the fact is that while your kids might not be addicted to their technology (and they seem plenty athletic, I'm sure they're not), plenty of parents do just park their kids in front of an ipad or a tv for hours - she may have had a reaction to the photo based on other parents she knows who do that, because as you said, she doesn't actually know you. Which is not to say you don't have a right to feel offended at her comment, but to call her a troll and for the commenters here to pile on seems extreme.

I hope you take this opinion in the spirit it's offered - I just hate to see someone get piled on for what was likely an off-the-cuff opinion.

[Madeleine]

Personally, I think it is completely inappropriate for such young children to be attached to technology. I suppose it is your choice and if you think it's the right thing well, have at it, but I worry for the implications of children who have to be attached to gadgets to be entertained.

My kids earn screen time through their chores and other activities because I don't want them to be addicted. They have ponies and can run around outside and have dogs to play with and friends over ... because I like them to learn from their imaginations and not from a screen!

[renee]

I have to tell you we acquired our first Ipad this December..and although it is essentially Ethan's (Age 8) Ipad, Si and I both have our favourite games on it. I wouldn't go so far as to say any of us are addicted as I'm sure none of you are ;-), its just that it is a pretty outstanding piece of technology and I TOTALLY understand the appeal now that we have one. I personally don't feel it is age specific (Kids from 2 years can ABSOLUTELY benefit from having one, anyone saying otherwise is being intentionally ignorant.) The educational games and problem solving activities are plenty! Ethan actually does alot of his home work on his ipad (he struggles with fine motor skills and so typing 50% of his work has become a life saver, his story writing ability and poetry writing has flourished ever since he took to a keyboard)
Thank heavens for the Ipad is all I can say. I think, it is utterly fantastic for the purpose it was intended for.
APPLE forever :-)

[Liesl]

Looks like some of these women have model children! They never back chat, they always finish their food, they're in bed before you tell them to go, they brush their teeth for 60s 3 times a day and all this because they're not attached to technology. They probably also don't have lights in their house, or alarm systems, or buy food online, or do internet banking. Just imagine if the kids pick up on that! SHOCK and HORROR!!! Think we should condemn these schools that have smart boards and ipads in the classrooms. They must be evil too.
My LO recognises and points out certain letters, can even trace some without a problem and can count to almost 20 without a problem, all because he's got a leappad.