FYI - Being on antidepressants does not mean you are crazy / suicidal / incompetent / dysfunctional

Gah! I know I have posted about this before but I was reminded once again how fucked people's perceptions are of those of us who are on antidepressants.  Yes, yes - I know.  ADs are over prescribed.  Yes, I also know that on the rare occasion they can be dangerous and have a worsening affect (Exhibit A - my sister). And yes, I've heard all about the excellent alternative remedies like exercise, good diet, prayer and just getting on with it.

The truth is, some of us not only benefit from ADs, we thrive on it.  It makes us better mothers / sisters / daughters / citizens / bosses / workers.  

I am an anxious person. This is partly due to genetics (both my parents are anxious people), partly due to my sensory issues (people with SPD can be prone to anxiety) and partly due to my physiological make up.  I don't suffer from panic attacks, I am not severely depressed. I have never wanted to kill myself. (Well besides the time just after my son died. Then I really did want to die but I was mentally ok enough not to do it).  But I am not a terribly nice person when I leave my anxiety untreated. I find it difficult to concentrate, to function optimally.  I am anxious, irritable, worried, stressed and generally not that pleasant to be around.  I have been formally diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).  

I could leave the anxiety untreated, as many, many people do. I could struggle through life, living a sub-optimal life. I could cope.  But I dont want to just 'cope'. Why shouldn't I choose the best possible physical and mental health for myself? I don't want to 'cope', I want to thrive.

I have a multi pronged approach to dealing with this diagnosis which includes exercise, healthy diet, ongoing therapy sessions and antidepressants (aimed specifically at dealing with anxiety).  I choose to be on ADs.  I choose to be proactive about my life.  Without sounding conceited, I consider myself to be quite successful - I have fought a long battle with infertility, I have written a book, got an MBA, started a successful business, maintained a good marriage, invested in a good home and other assets.  I would consider myself a successful, competent, healthy person. 

But my insurance company doesn't see it that way.  Because I am on ADs (specified for anxiety), I was forced to go see my doctor to get a written report that I am not suicidal or mentally incompetent.  I have to take insurance that has a specified exclusion for death or disability for any conditions related to depression, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, other mental health issues.

That is such bullshit.  I get 'punished' for being proactive about my health.  For taking charge and making sure I am highly functional.  There are so many people out there who have serious problems who are too scared / tired / depressed / ignorant / poor to take charge of their mental health but they are ok to be insured.

It pisses me off.  I understand the insurance companies have a standard formula they use, but they should look at the specifics for each case. Look at me as an individual and then decide whether I am a high risk client or not.  

I hate the stigma attached to people who choose to seek out therapy or are on ADs.  I personally feel we should be applauded for taking charge of our lives, rather than considered incompetent / crazy / a risk.

I am on ADs and I am not ashamed to admit it. And just like a diabetic who needs to take insulin for the rest of their lives to be healthy, I will take my ADs for as long as I need to.  Of course I would love to be able to be 100% healthy without medication but I would rather be on ADs and healthy, and be off them and not live the best life I can. And if it means I need to stay on ADs forever, so be it.

Just because someone is on ADs doesn't mean they are crazy / suicidal / incompetent / dysfunctional. And anyway, sane and normal is so last season.  A bit of crazy makes life interesting. 

Comments

[RainbowW]

welcome to the american healthcare system. i'm glad to see it's coming to south africa. you will find it as helpful, hopeful, and wonderful as we do in the states.

[Claire Minnaar]

I agree 100%! Well said from a fellow AD user! :)

[Oliete]

Well written and articulated - I agree!

[Neverendingnavelgazer]

Yes! You know what?! It's the stigma, that leads to concealment that in turn is the killer or in most cases, living just to survive. Screw that! I'm not just here to survive! And I'm not a second-rate citizen!

[Neesie]

Yes!Yes!Yes! The fact that people feel shame for helping themselves, that really upsets me. So much ignorance about this subject...still.

[Invivo]

Having to sign up for insurance with the mentioned exclusions despite getting a letter from the doctor stating mental competence?! Unacceptable!

Reminds me of the speech that Sheri Brynard did at the World Down Syndrome Conference whilst addressing the issue of discrimination, she said that "at least my problem has a name (Down Syndrome)" - stabbing at the many people who stand on the sidelines, high-brow, with their outdated textbook responses, while in reality they are the ones with the real problem, being blinded by their own lack of awareness and lack of understanding of the more subtle, yet salient issues. There should be a DSM-V classification for that kind of mental attitude - Generalised Awareness Disorder, or something of sorts!

Symptom of a cookie cutter society. A sad, sad reality.

[Tine]

That *is* F-ed up. And eerily reminiscent of the F-ed up system we have here in the US.

[Terrie from oz]

They should put this stuff in the water supply! I swear the majority of the population would benefit. Ignorant stone throwers! Continue being your fabulous proactive self x

[Beth]

I couldn't agree more! I've been on AD's long-term, and intend to continue forever if need be... only because it makes me feel "healthy" and "normal." You would think you'd get extra bonus points for that, rather than stigmas and penalties. Really makes me mad that we have to deal with that attitude here (in the U.S.), too. :-(

[Theresa Richards]

Hear hear! I will also take my AD's for the rest of my life if I have to, so that I can live a normal-ish(what is normal these days?), healthy-ish (I have a love affair with food) life. I actually call them my performance enhancing drugs. I have the term happy pills! AD's enhance your performance and allow you to be a normal person without there being blood on the walls (mine and my family's ;))

[Jade Leth]

agree completely.. while there are lots of people sharing their stories and situations in an effort to broaden understanding that these are illnesses that require treatment like any other, we still have a long way to go before we get the same sort of acceptance as purely physical illnesses. thankyou for doing your part!

[abc]

I'm not sure if you're aware, but not once in your list of achievements did you mention your children. Sure, you mentioned infertility, but not once did you mention the kids.

I am one of your biggest fans, Tertia but I sincerely worry where on your list your children come.

I'm all for personal success. I really am. I just worry at whose expense that success comes.

[Erica]

Hi Tertia, I also noticed that you didn't mention good mother as one of your achievements. Of course you are very successful but why didn't you say that you are proud of your kids? You should be.

[Adrianne]

Very well said!! I couldn't agree more. :)

[Vanessa]

Medical Aids are *FULL* of it. I had constant issues with getting my ADHD meds. Aside from the cost of just having the medical aid (which as you know runs to thousands for a family of 4) I was paying about R1700 a month just to get my meds/and the prescriptions. Sorry to wave the expat flag here, but now that we're in the UK? It's all free. I asked the doctor that I saw what it would cost, and he said, "Oh, most prescriptions cost a maximum of £7.65" and I was like, "Yes, but I mean for the medication itself?" and he looked at me liked I'd suddenly sprouted a second head. As it turns out, because I have another chronic medical issue all my prescriptions are free. As in Zero. Nada. *Fiercely waves NHS pom-poms* You get the propaganda here too, about how the NHS is rife with issues and I'm sure it has it's fair share, but our experiences have all been incredible. I went for a routine chest x-ray last week, and had to wait for all of 10 minutes. So shocking. :)

As for the AD's go you. People are stupid about drugs for psychological reasons, but would think nothing of taking a cocktail of them for other problems. The brain is part of the body too, and people should just grow the hell up.

[poseamonkey]

That is completely screwed up. Anxiety is a physical and body-chemical problem, just like diabetes, imagine, as you say, you were discouraged from taking your diabetes meds. The problem is there is still a prevalent attitude that mental health issues are "all in the mind", as if people are just being neurotic,when the thing is, the brain is an organ just like any other and needs medicine when it get sick too.

[peesticksandstones]

Many of your older posts have been a huge comfort to me as I've struggled with whether or not to take anti-depressants (for anxiety, above all else) in the midst of fertility treatment, miscarriage, more fertility treatment, pregnancy, etc, etc. Being back on them for a few months, my only thought is why didn't I start sooner? I could've been such a better/more present mom, human being, etc.

I recall before my son finally came to us, back when we were investigating international adoption, it really crushed me that many countries seemed to disqualify you for taking anti-depressants or even seeking therapy. I don't know why your post made me think of this. But I am still kinda mad about that. How being proactive and trying to be a healthy person living well made you an 'unfit' parent. Bleh.

Anyway, always happy to see a discussion that brings mental health issues out of the dark, cobwebby closet.

[Debbie in the UK]

Well I agree completely and taking AD's in this country (UK) is very frowned on, even by my family. I am on citalopram and feel so much better than I did 18+ months ago and I never want to come off them. They are for anxiety and I am a far better mother/wife whilst I am on them. When I tell people that I take something you can see their faces just change somehow, as though they are looking for the "crazy".