When (if) you finally have a baby after trying for so long to conceive, there are many wonderful, butterflies-in-the-tummy moments that make you realize how incredibly lucky you are. I am not talking about the traditional 'wonderful' moments like holding your baby in your arms, the first smile, the first step etc. I am talking about ordinary, seemingly insignificant moments that give you that huge rush of joy. Normal parenting moments that fill you with gratitude about what you have. I am talking about tripping over a forgotten toy in the lounge and thinking "omg! I have toys in my lounge! Which means I have a baby!". Moments when you find a forgotten, full-of-old-fluff dummy (pacifier) in your handbag and your heart does a flip: "I have a dummy!! In my handbag! ME! I am a mom!". Ordinary moments like picking up a half-eaten peanut butter sandwich, getting up in the middle of the night to soothe a bad dream, putting 5 bucks in the merry go round. Even though my twins are almost 7, I still get those butterfly-in-the-tummy reminders often. (When I am not thinking murderous thoughts about how naughty they are!)
But you know what the biggest rush is, the biggest thrill, the biggest reminder how incredibly lucky I am? Hand-me-downs.
When you are going through infertility you obviously have some hope that you will one day have a child. If you had no hope, you wouldn't continue trying. But never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would be in the situation where I would use my own hand-me-downs. Succeeding once (with a singleton or more) is what I was hoping for. Succeeding again with a second (third) child, having the opportunity to have hand-me-downs never entered my mind.
When I see Max wearing something Adam wore (or claiming Kate's old pink scooter as his own), I am blown away with how incredibly lucky I am. So lucky, it almost seems greedy. Not only did I have the opportunity to dress a child in that item of clothing, but I had the opportunity to do it AGAIN! It just blows my mind.
Hand me downs are the ultimate cherry on top for any infertile. And ultimate proof that I am lucky beyond my wildest dreams.
PS Because I was convinced I would never have another child, I gave away all of Adam's and Kate's clothes to charity when they were about three. Which means I am only now reaping the rewards of hand-me-downs. I had no baby clothes left when I was pregnant with Max! It was a kind, but expensive gesture on my part. Luckily because he was a second (third) baby, he survived on the bare minimum.
PPS Even though I have three children, because the first two came as a package deal, Max is like a second child. Although, if he was measured on the chaos and mess he causes, one could argue he is like a second, third and fourth child all rolled into one. That child is, um, busy.
Adam and Kate: "Mom! Take a picture of our butts". Such refined children.