My kids go to a private school. This was not initially out of choice, but instead because the school I wanted to send them to was full (bastards rejected my darling children). I wasn't that keen on the private school for three reasons: 1. We didn't know anyone there (silly reason really, the kids made friends so quickly and they LOVE it there now), 2. It is expensive (but I can afford it, at least for now) and 3. It is further away than the other school. Instead of a five minute drive, it is a 15-20 minute drive. Nothing compared to some commutes of course, but a lot more than five minutes. However, instead it being a pain, I actually look forward to the drive. It is an opportunity to chat the kids - something that we don't do often enough.
On Monday, I told them that I had a work meeting that afternoon so they would need to stay home with Rose for a bit. Adam asked me what work I did. My response was the same one we have had since they were old enough to know a little about this thing called 'work': I work on the computer. But then Adam asked, "but what do you actually do?"
YAY!!! I love talking about my work!!
"Well", I said, metaphorically rolling up my sleeves, "Mommy helps people to have babies".
What an absolutely amazing, divine, cool, fantastic, awesome, special job I have! I help people have babies!! Damn, I am lucky.
I explained some more: "Remember Mommy told you that to make a baby, you need a seed and an egg? (And a few hundred thousand bucks if neither of the buggers work) Well some people's eggs don't work so well, so Mommy finds kind ladies called egg donors who give some of their eggs to the people whose eggs don't work. Then the doctor takes those eggs, mixes them with the seed and then the people can have a baby!"
We then had a great conversation about where the eggs are kept in one's body (pointing to my lower tummy area), whether I had eggs inside my tummy (yes), whether it meant I would have another baby (NO!!!) and whether Kate had eggs.
Yes, I said - you do have eggs, but they are not yet ripe. One day when you are bigger and your eggs are ready, you can have a baby.
NOOOOO! says Kate, she doesn't want a baby because she doesn't want someone to make a cut in her tummy, it will be too sore. Well, I replied - some people actually push the baby out their fannies you know (vag = fanny), you dont have to have a cut in your tummy.
NO WAY!! I AM NOT PUSHING A BABY OUT OF MY FANNY!!!
That's ok dear, my feeling was exactly the same as yours.
Just then, I thought the time was right to chat about some of the different versions of family that exist today.
"Do you know, some children don't have a mommy and a daddy, they have just a mommy. Or some children even have two daddies!"
Hmm, they said, nodding their heads seriously, how cool!
And then we spoke about what the children would call the two daddies.
Well, they could call the one dad and the other one daddy.
Kate: Or dad and dada
Adam: Or daddy and pops
Kate: Or papa
Adam: Or popa
Me: Hmm, maybe but I don.....
Adam: Or how about Popeye!
Me: No, probably not Adam.
Its amazing how children so easily accept what some grown ups seem to have such a hard time dealing with.
And now I have to go. But tomorrow I am going to tell you about why I am a HUGE supporter of gay parents and a bit about how I am cyber aunty to many gorgeous babies all over the world. Tomorrow we are going to talk about Papa and Popeye and their right to have children.
PS if you have ever thought about donating your eggs, please (PLEASE!) give it some serious thought - you would make an enormous difference in someone's life. Read about the egg donor program here: (www.nurture.co.za)