I think I might be having a mid-life crisis or something. I am having strange urges. Not for fancy sports cars, young lovers or trips to Europe - instead I have urges to tell people how I really feel.
This is huge for me! I am about as anti-confrontational as a __________ (<--insert very extremely anti-confrontational thing here). I would FAR rather keep the peace and count to 10 / accept the situation / give in / suck it up than confront the person or situation. Why? Because I am so scared I will hurt the other person's feelings. Yes, I am that much of a wuss. Even with people I don't really like or who dislike me, I would far rather keep my thoughts to myself than say it as it is and potentially hurt their feelings.
I have a million excuses: it is not that bad / they don't really mean to do it / maybe my expectations are too high / it is not intentional blah blah blah. This wussy, non-confrontational approach has served me well for that last 41 years. If it ain't broke (much), then why fix it? They are happy, I am only mildly and occasionally unhappy - what's the big deal!
Well, it isn't a big deal. Not really. Mostly. Except that lately I have the urge to tidy things up. To sort out the nagging lose ends that exist in my life. To say 'maybe he/she didn't really mean it that way, but actually.... that's not good enough'. That thing you always say / do / don't do, that isn't good enough for me - this is how I really feel.....
Eeeekkk! Anxious feeling - pass the wine!
I had lunch with a friend recently, a man - and I was amazed at how logical he was about having to confront someone he liked about something they had done wrong. I was dying all sorts of deaths thinking about how hurt this person would feel when confronted but my friend simply said 'what the person is doing is wrong, and I need to tell them that'.
I need to be more like that. I think I need to man-up a bit and tell it like it is.
Tuesday. I will start on Tuesday. Tuesday the 01st. Tuesday the 01st of December. Tuesday the 01st of December 2022.
Or maybe a bit sooner, depending on how brave I feel. I might just have a glass of wine instead and wait for the feeling to pass.
PS it isn't you, its me!
PPS can we still be friends?
PPPS pass the wine anyway.
PPPPS To distract you from this outpouring of confrontational mid-life crisis stuff, here is a pic Adam took of Kate and I yesterday.