On Monday I start work at my regular job after EIGHT months maternity leave. To say I am feeling a bit anxious about it would be a gross understatement. I am not even sure I remember what to do, never mind remembering all my passwords and log ons. It is going to be hectic balancing all the parts of my life and trying to fit in three full-time roles in one day. We will see what happens.
On Wednesday the kids start at their new school. The start of a new chapter in our lives. They have spent the last two years at Aunty B's playschool which has been absolutely wonderful. I couldn't have asked for a better introduction to school than what they had at Aunty B. It was a small, protected environment and each child was allowed to be what they needed to be. They could have their dummies in their mouths if they needed, they could have their lovies in their hands all day if they needed.
But now big(ish) school starts. No school uniforms yet, but a lot more structured and a lot more rules. No more flitting in at 8:55 (ok, sometimes 9:05). School starts at 8:30 sharp and the kids are expected to be there by 8:15 at least. Plus the school is a good 20 mins further away than the last one. Which means we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') will have to become a lot more organized in the morning. And by 'organized' I mean 'do not spend 45 mins on your computer in the morning catching up on emails while the kids run around playing'.
I am obviously feeling a bit anxious about the new school. Because anxious is what I do. But don't be alarmed, I am going to do my very best not to let the kids see or feel my anxiety. All of their little friends except for one are going to another school, the public school near the old school. But those selfish fuckers didn't have place for my twins because their mother didn't know you had to apply while the children were still in embryonic phase. Not that I am bitter of course. (Note to self: Enroll Max in ass-wipey school TOMORROW)
I have made a big deal about our new school, the kids are very excited and keep asking me how many sleeps they have to go. Lets hope that excitement lasts!
Our new school is a very good school. It is a private one, top education, small classes, cost a fucking fortune etc, but if I could have chosen, I would have sent the kids to the local school that the rest of their mates are going to.
Anyway, I keep remembering how anxious I was when the kids went to school the first time, and how quickly I LOVED that school and how much more I LOVED having a break in the mornings. So it will all be good I am sure.
Aarggh! I can't help but feel anxious about this. I wish I didn't, but I do. And no, telling me to just not be anxious doesn't work. Telling a person who is naturally anxious not to be anxious is like telling a person who stutters to just not stutter. You either are or aren't, or you do or don't. There are things you can do to help, and I will do those things, but anxious is my default setting.
PS I've taken to updating my Flickr photos a little more often, so if you like go there and have a look at a few pics of the kids