I often think that if anyone is ever wavering in their decision as to whether they want to have children or not, they should spend some time at my house. Instant birth control.
Adam: I want a straw
Me: We don't have any straws
Adam: But I want one
Me: We don't have any straws Adam
Adam: I waaant a straw
Me: Adam, we don't have any straws. I am going to have a shower, do not call me.
As I get in the shower..
Adam: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BRING ME A STRAW.
Two minutes later, I am still in shower....
Kate: Mom, come quick - Adam's made a poo, a HUGE one
Me: Tell him to either wipe his own bum, or wait there for me
Kate: He says if you don't come now, he is going to stand up and poop will go all over the floor.
Me: Tell him to wait there, I am coming now. Go talk to him while he is waiting. (I can hear her dawdling off, completely forgetting to pass my message along)
A minute later I get out the shower, still wet and walk over to the kid's bathroom. Adam is now sitting on the chair playing a computer game.
Me: Adam! Did you wipe your bum! Come here so that I can do it.
Adam: Sorry mom, I forgot. Hurry up, the game is finishing. HURRY! HURRYHURRYHURRY! Wahhaaaaaaaa! *sobbing*, you made me miss my game, its all finished now.
Collapses into hysterical crying. (him, not me. Although after waking up at 5:30am thanks to Kate, I feel like collapsing in a heap myself.)
Sigh. My kids are serious birth control. Enough to make ovaries shut down and sperm swim back up again.
On another note, look at these pictures the kids drew for me for my birthday. The difference between the two of them is just, well, different. They are just very different to each other.
PS I think I have told you a year or so before? Adam is obsessed with green. Green is his favourite colour and everything has to be green. The entire drawing is in green.
PPS I think Max might be my favourite child at the moment. There is a lot to be said for the no talking, not moving thing.