Too scared to Google

I am a big Googler. I Googled my way all through my infertility. In fact, I obtained my Doctorate in Infertility through the University of Google.  There isn't an ailment or affliction I haven't Googled.  My whole family knows that if they need to know the answer to any medical question, just ask me - because I will have Googled the answer before they have even asked the question.

Until now.

My brother asked me what the risks are for my father's bypass surgery and I told him I am too scared to look it up. I don't want to know.  That's how scared I am.

And now I am even more afraid.

As I mentioned yesterday or the day before, my dad had a heart attack on Sunday. Which we found out on Monday.  He had a triple bypass 20 years ago and apparently it is all blocked again.  His heart muscle is also damaged.  On Tuesday night he came home and was scheduled to go into hospital today, to prepare for the bypass surgery scheduled for tomorrow, Friday. Yesterday afternoon my two sisters and all our kids went to my parent's house for a braai.  Dad was walking around, doing his thing.  We laughed, bonded, ate and went home.  Off he went today to hospital to prepare for his operation (to have a balloon put into his heart or arteries to prepare it for the bypass?)  Well, the blood test reveal he had had another heart attack yesterday. While we were all sitting around having a braai.  The bypass has been rescheduled to Sunday and he has to lie completely still in hospital until then. He is not allowed to move anything, he can't even bend his knees. 

I am very afraid.

I feel sick with worry. Suddenly it all seems so much scarier than before. How could he have had a heart attack without him even knowing?  If we don't even know it is happening, how will we know when it might strike next?  I don't know what to think or to do. I feel completely impotent.  And absolutely terrified. 

Comments

[Kathy B.]

I am so sorry.

[Sarah]

Good luck to all of you. Please remember the world-class excellence of your cardiac systems. We will think of you and your Dad.

[Yvonne]

Oh my word I just cold shivers reading that. How incredibly terrifying.
Biggest, biggest hugs to you AND your dad and the rest of your family.
Please keep us posted, I desperately hope that all will be okay.

[Laura]

Tertia,

Heart attack can happen at any moment, and often go unnoticed. This is actually normal and signals the fact that the heart attack was mild, more of a warning if you will. It sounds like your dad is an otherwise healthy man, and should, god willing, make a full recovery. The fact that the doctors have rescheduled his surgery so soon is also a good indication. Yes, he seriously needs the bypass to prevent further injury, but they must believe he and his heart are strong enough, otherwise they would have scheduled it out even further. Take comfort in the rapidity with which they are acting, and leave your faith in God. I know it is no use to ask you not to worry, but take comfort in the fact that all signs point to positive.

[liv]

i'm so incredibly sorry about everything. i hope all goes well for sunday.

[Jess]

My thoughts are with you and your family, no matter how scary it is you will get through it.

[One of Two Mommies]

Thinking of you lots...

[Woody's Girl]

Statistically speaking - and I believe Dr. Google would back me up on this - you are more likely to have a positive outcome if you have survived your "first" heart attack. As Laura mentioned, these must be minor attacks (NOT implying that it's not scary!) or he likely would not have survived the one on Sunday. Many people die from their first heart attack, because they didn't realize they had a heart condition at all, so weren't under the care of a doctor.

Thank goodness that your father is being treated, and has surgery scheduled! I think the "balloon procedure" you are talking about is called an angioplasty?

Please keep us posted on your dear father. I can only imagine how worried your mom must be.

[Irene]

Sweetie,
so sorry you are worried sick and wishing you all a return to normal soon. will be crossing fingers for Sunday.
Ixx

[Jenniferk]

Thinking of you and your family Tertia,
xx
Jennifer

[Laura Dawson]

I been through similar issues with my dad exactly 2 years ago. He had a heart attack when he was 40, and he was 64 when they discovered that he needed quintuple bypass surgery. I've never been so scared in my life, but the surgery went well. Although he had some issues with bleeding due to a medication they gave him when they anticipated he would have balloon angioplasty (before they realized he needed bypass surgery), it all turned out okay. The best place for your dad to be is in the hospital where they can monitor him and respond quickly if he has another heart attack. I know your not into the lordy stuff, but we will keep him in our prayers -- can't hurt, might help. Hang in there.

[Steph]

So sorry your family is in the midst of such scary times. I wish you peace and him wellness.
xoxo
s

[AussieAndrea]

Oh Tertia this must be so hard - in every other area of your life, you are used to putting in the work/research/effort and getting results, but this is one thing you can't do that with... it must be so unsettling!

I really hope that your Dad pulls through it all with flying colours and that your trademark courage and strength carries you through. Wishing your family all the very best, I'll be thinking of you and yours on Sunday, with fingies crossed for a good outcome.

Big smooch!

[Kellie]

I'm so sorry Tertia - that's very scary!

[blackbird]

Surely they will monitor him very carefully - and though you are afraid - he will be safe...in the meantime, prayers from here to there, for your strength and his health.

xo

[paz]

I am sorry and it is scary. I am feeling very hopeful for your dad after hearing how he did not notice that he had another attack. I am thinking about you and your dad...geez, I'll be glad when this is behind you with a good outcome.

[Joey]

Thinking of you & your family! All the best for Sunday!

[bec (and Charlotte)]

It is very scary for you all but at least now he is in the best of hands, it sounds like he is only having minor heart attacks (MUCH better than major).

You are in my thoughts (and prayers if that helps)!!

[Rachel]

Tertia,
I am so very sorry, I know how scared I would be if it were my own dad. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I think it's best not to google anyway. If you are anything like me, I've convinced myself that I have everything under the sun due to Dr. Google.
xoxo

[Egg Donor (ret)]

My gramma has had a couple heart attacks without really knowing it. Now she is too frail to even have the surgery she needs.

My dad also had a heart attack and 6X bypass - every single artery was 90% clogged or more.

That was 8 years ago. He's doing fine, but I still worry all the time about if he's going to die.

In fact, my biggest life regret is not flying home for his surgery. He, mom, brother all told me not to. I wish I had for me, and I'm also resentful at them for acting like I wasn't wanted/needed. It's very very good that you are close and can be there for your mom and siblings.

I wish I could offer you more comfort. It does sound like the doctors are doing everything possible. That's really all that can be done.

[thrice]

Dearest Tertia,

First you have to understand the difference between sudden death (end of heart failure) and a heart attack. Sudden death means that one is DOA. A heart attack "just" means that one's heart is not getting enough oxygen. Less major or more minor of an artery, the less it is noticeable. The more major of an artery, the bigger the problems, including death. So that's why it can go unnoticed.

They have made many advances in cardiocare in the past 20 years. While I know that is all very scary, take some care in that.

Survivor of heart failure(PPCM) for almost 5 years now.

[Flicka]

I am thinking of you all and praying desparately for your dad's health. Keep us updated. Love you.

xxx

[Stephanie]

What scary times. I'm thinking of you and your family! Sounds like he's in the best place right now, where they can help him immediately if needed. Hopefully it will all be over soon and he will be recovering peacefully.

[Kathy]

I wish I knew what to say to ease your mind. This must be terrifying for you as I know you and your parents are so close. I hope his surgery is wildly successful and you have many more years to cherish you dad. Thinking of you and hoping for the best.

[Lisa]

Thinking of you, and your Dad.
xxx

[Aurelia]

Hoping for your family here and thinking about all the people I know who have lived and thrived after multiple bypass surgeries. It's scary now, but after the surgery and the recovery, it will all be like it never happened. Take care hon.

[Melissa]

I'm so sorry Tertia, and I hope it all goes well on Sunday. I like the positive feedback people who have experienced the same with their loved ones, are giving you now. Cling to those thoughts, and know that those of us who lean towards the Lordy ways are praying for you and your family right now :o)

[Heather]

We are praying for your Dad and your family.

[Shaz]

I'm thinking of you, of your dad and sending positive thoughts to your whole family. I've been where you are so my heart goes out to you. He sounds like a wonderful dad, just like mine. Huge Cyberhugs to all of you. Just keep hugging him and telling him how much you love him.

[Amy]

So glad your Dad is in good hands and will soon be having surgery. I mean NOT glad he is having to go through this but glad he knows there is a problem and the problem is to be dealt with ASAP.

My thoughts and prayers (I only pray when I really want something, bad person..) are with you and yours. Keep on thinking and praying for the best. For some reason I just feel it so not his time to go. Smooches to you and yours.

[tiah]

So sorry.

[Yvonne Stokes]

Be strong for him, because right now all he wants is the positive attitude of yours.

You will get through this .

[Dayna]

Praying so hard, thinking of you, sending you love and especially to your dad. xo xo xo

[BlindCripple]

This has become a fairly common procedure these days. They know what they're doing well, so use that to try ease your mind...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[angel]

Oh lawdy T, I am so with you- we just went through almost the same thing with my daddy darling...

[Georgina]

Best wishes for your Dad. I hope that everything goes well for him.

[Janet]

Thinking of you at this time. My FIL was 74 when he had a quadruple bypass. Also unexpected and we were very worried about him. Well, it's 4 years on and he's as bolshy and full of life as he was before, so keep your chin up and stay positive. Sending hugs.

[Stefanie]

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your loved ones and wishing and hoping for a good outcome.

[Sue]

I can't think of a single word that might ease your fears or bring you comfort. I can't think of one! But being that I'm one of those Lordy Folk, I can pray for you, your dad, your whole family. Though sometimes I think those prayers make the pray-ER feel better than the pray-EE. But, I, too, have a dad and I love him dearly, so trying to imagine life in your shoes, I can only say I'm sorry you're scared and I'm sorry your family is going through this. I'll be praying, and waiting for an update. Take care.

[Wendy]

I'm thinking of you and your family. I would be just as terrified if it was my Dad. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[Zola]

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family going through this tough time.

[Heather]

I'm so sorry for your dad's condition. Your family is in my thoughts and I hope his surgery goes through without any problems.

[Bev]

I can't think of any words of comfort that will ease your worry - but here's to a succesful op and that Pops will be back in a flash with his funny comments on your blog. Thinking of you, T!

[Heather Ann]

Tertia, I am very sorry for your troubles. I hope your dad pulls through easily. I also hope that you are okay through all of this. It is an awful lot of stress for one person to deal with. Thank God you have sisters and brothers to lean on and talk to through all this health drama with your parents. You and you dad and mom are in my thoughts.

[Megan]

You and your family will be in my thoughts - so, so sorry about the "interesting times."

[tess]

praying for your family, your dad, the surgeons & surgical staff, and peace for all of you. may time pass quickly for you all between now and the end of the successful surgery.
love tess

[Pamela]

Thinking of you and your family.

[Hanlie]

Thinking of your family! Good luck!

[Laura]

I too am praying desperately for your Dad's health and for your family to have peace and hope.

[Kim]

Does that mean your dad had his first bypass operation at 40 yrs of age. seems quite young. Do you know what his risk factors were or are. Did he smoke ciggies? Hang in there. He is under close observation now. Once the bypass is over he should be OK.

[mommo4.5]

What wonderful internet friends you have! There are so many encouraging words here in the comments. I'm praying for you and yours. May you find comfort in the strength of your family and in the concern of your friends.

[Sharon]

Praying for peace of mind, successful surgery, and a quick recovery.

[sass]

really all i can say is i'm thinking of you and sending you resilience in the face of all this. huge hugs. i'm invoking the universe on your dad's behalf. xxx

[Susy]

Hi Tertia,

I haven't commented in awhile, but I feel I have something to contribute here. My father had a "massive" heart attack followed by quadruple bypass surgery 7 years ago. Here is what I learned:

Heart attacks run the gamut in terms of severity and symptoms. My father's only symptom was back pain, which he began experiencing on a Sunday. On Monday, he felt it was a tad strange, so he made an appointment to see his regular doctor on Wednesday. He saw a nurse practitioner, and on a hunch for which I am eternally grateful, she decided to do an EKG on him, in spite of the fact that back pain alone is not a very common heart attack symptom. Turns out, he'd had what his surgeon later called a "massive" heart attack.

He was immediately hospitalized and within 24 hours he was being prepped for bypass surgery. This included almost total sedation in the ICU. This is done as a precaution prior to the surgery to make sure he is completely rested and ready for the major surgery.

The really good news is that people survive bypass surgery 95-100% of the time. Also, the bypasses are usually "curative"; obviously in your father's case it wasn't 100%, but perhaps this time they'll do a quadruple or quintuple bypass (bypassing the blocked arteries and doing a few extra bypasses) just to make sure it doesn't happen again. They usually do more bypasses than they think they'll need because, as you've now found out, they often DO block back up again. They might have undershot by doing triple the first time.

My father is alive and well 7 years later. He still is overweight and doesn't take good care of himself, but I can't do anything about that. We attribute the fact that he survived a "massive" heart attack to the fact that he has been taking an aspirin tablet a day for the past 30 years or so.

Honestly, I think your instinct to stay off of Google on this is a good one. My experience is that for 10 success stories you find with any particular disease/procedure there's one disaster that ends up hanging with you and just causing major anxiety.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I have faith that your father will pull through this well. The fact that he is hospitalized and staying completely still is distressing, but you can be sure he's in the best possible hands. If anything happens, they'll know it.

[Susy]

P.S. I forgot to mention that even though the heart muscle is damaged, a person can survive and survive WELL and very little heart muscle. I seem to remember my father's cardiologist saying something like 5%, though I may not be remembering correctly.

[kate]

Oh my goodness Tertia, hang in there. That's truly got to be the scariest. Even though that attack may be considered a 'mild' one, it is still VERY scary. Glad to here he is being taken well care of. Thinking you of you all and especially your Dad!xoxo

[Diane]

I worked for cardiac surgeons for a very long time, including compiling surgical statistics.

Your father has an excellent chance of surviving a second bypass, especially because he doesn't sound like he has additional health problems. Also, a bypass lasting 20 years is very, very good. Usually they're only good for 10 - 15. Also, a third time bypass is even possible with only slightly less favorable odds.

So...your dad must be taking care of himself and will do well. It's scary, but for the men and women who actually do heart surgery, it's all in a day's work. Not to minimize the situation, but they're very, very well trained and know what they're doing. The first heart transplant was done in South Africa, so we all know how advanced S. African cardiac surgeons are. :)

My dad had a heart attack three years ago. His blockages are in an area that can't be bypassed. Makes me sad, but he's still doing well.

[Kristin]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[serina]

Love to you all and Mimi. I'm anticipated a good result because they sound as though they are right on top of handling your dad's condition.
Keep us updated because we worry, too!

[Kathleen]

Remind yourself that in his condition, he is in the safest place in the world right now. They've got him on monitors and expert care can be called for in seconds. He is resting up and you need to as well.

I think it's a very good sign that he was feeling so well. That means that the heart attack was mild and that he is in overall good health. I know it's scary but I also know that your family is very close and you will all get through this together.

I'm keeping your Dad in my thoughts...and all of you who love him so.
Kathleen

[kathleen999]

I'm sorry, Tertia. I'll be thinking about your dad. In the meantime, it's good that they have him in the hospital where they can monitor him. After tomorrow he will be doing great again.

[Melissa in TN]

Thinking of you, your dad and the rest of your family. Please keep us updated on him.

[Jeanette]

(((HUGS))) hope he's ok

[laura]

Oh, T, my darling girl, I am so sorry that you and your family are having so much pain and worry. I am praying hard for your dad, that he will have a full recovery. A big hug and lots of love to you all.

Love, Laura

[Rebekah]

So very, very sorry this is happening. Will be thinking of and praying for your Dad and you and your whole family.

[Sarah]

thinking of you and your family.

[Coral]

And... how is your dad, and how are you?

xxxx