That was a bloody expensive flea!

So, at 10:00am Friday the 23^rd January 2009, I dispatched the dogs off to the doggie parlour to be dipped and deflead. The flea people arrived at 10:30, as promised. Well, actually they promised to arrive at 10am, but what’s 30 minutes between friends.  They arrived and I left.  And even though they said it was safe for us to return after two hours, I decided to keep the kids and myself away from the house for a few hours.  The only problem was that I had a meeting at 2:30.  I called Marko and asked whether he could come home early to pick up the kids from the coffee shop where my meeting would be taking place.

I then had two hours to kill while the fleas were being killed, so I asked the kids where they would like to go. “Old Macdonald” they said (meaning McDonalds)  I hate that place.  With a passion. I don’t eat burgers and chips and that stuff, so I inevitably end up settling for something that distantly resembles a healthy meal which always tastes like shit.  And the kids don’t even eat burgers either!  My kids are such crap eaters, they don’t even eat junk food. How depressing is that.  But alas, the lure of the happy meal toy and the play area are strong.  So off we went to eat our crappy meals and climb in the tubes.  60 bucks*, two burgers wrapped in a serviette for the dogs, and two cheap plastic toys later, we went to the coffee shop to order two milkshakes and wait for Marko. Who was running late!  The kids were getting increasingly bored and loud and I was getting increasingly anxious that my meeting would arrive before Marko did.  Very professional to have two clambering four year olds covered in strawberry milkshake.

* Apologies, I should have mentioned that I meant R60, not $60! R10 = $1, so it cost me $6!

Side note:  On the walls of the coffee shop, they have these huge photos / wall paper thingies.  The one picture was of a horse drawn cart and a chap who looked like Charlie Chaplin. Adam says in his very loud voice, across the very quiet coffee shop, “OH LOOK MOM, THERE’S JESUS!”  Perfect.  My kids think Charlie Chaplin is Jesus.  Maybe they should be spending more time with their happy clapping Aunt, Sister Mel.  Hey, at least they have heard about Jesus before (must be from watching TV).

Eventually Marko arrives at 2:29pm and takes the kids off to the play place.  I quickly ask the waitress to clear the strawberry milkshakes, compose myself and mentally shift 475 gears to get ready for meeting.  Meeting arrives, all goes well.

Until I get this text message on my phone from Marko:

“Kate just made a poo in her pants. All over her bum and panties. No wipes, scrubbing with toilet paper. All over my hands. Now have her shitty panties in my pocket smelling like shit. I have been floeking* you. Just my luck. Hurry up”.

* Vloeking means ‘cursing’

I nearly peed in my pants.  HAHAHA!!!  Hilarious!  I can just picture Marko in his smart work clothes, cursing me as he wipes up messy poop. I told him afterwards to throw the damn panties away, but he said I am just wasting money, as usual. So I told him that he could clean them then. He threw the panties away.

Anyway, I went to go rescue him and we all went home.  The carpet people came the next day to steam clean the carpets.  Poor Rose has worked like a demon, washing and cleaning every last thing in the house, even though I told her it would be fine. She was paranoid about the flea poison. 

Between the wasted Happy Meals and the cheap plastic toys, the wasted strawberry milkshakes (even though I actually did finish them off myself – oink), the VERY VERY expensive play place (R26 for two appletizers, are they on drugs!!!), the discarded panties, the doggie parlour, the extermination, the carpet steam clean and the effect on Marko’s nerves, it has been a bloody expensive exercise.  And yes, our lesson has been learnt, we will NEVER EVER not deflea our animals again for such a long time.  (in our defence, in the 10 years we’ve been together and had pets, this is the first time this has ever happened).

But in a small way, it was almost worth it just to picture Marko with the poo emergency, because I can just imagine how he must have been cursing me. Because as you know, stuff that like is obviously all my fault. 

Oh, and just to top it all?  There are still some fleas hopping about.  I want to scream.  The exterminators are coming back on Monday.  

I HATE THESE FARKING FLEAS!!!  Just hurry up and die already.  Asshole fleas.

Comments

[Tamara Landman]

Your post made me check my cats and tadaa :O
I found one flea on 2 of the 3 :@
Thank God for Program though !
But thanks for making me check them like a maniac, cause it definately wouldnt have stayed with 1 flea otherwise :D
Thanks !

[Coral]

First, get the can of spray stuff at P&P - Baygon Flea (?) - spray the skirting boards, a lot - it actually smells quite nice, like Johnson's baby powder. Use at least weekly as the life cycle of a flea and the eggs is really long. Then Spot On, and a flea collar on the dogs. Sorted!

We moved into a rented property once that was infested - what a mission! And we had no pets, so they were eating us!! Yuck.

Good luck, and signing off!!

[Denise]

LMAO @ Jesus!!!!

[Lornagh]

oh gosh......!!!!
Head off to your vet or pharmacy and buy program tablets for your dogs. One tablet given on the same day each month halts fleas in their tracks - it breaks the breeding cycle of the little biting bugger.
It takes about 2 months to be fully effective, but once you're there, it's great. Our dogs have been on it for years (all year) and we're fine. Puppies as young as 6 weeks can go on program according to my vet.

While you're waiting for the tablets to be effective, get flea collars for the dogs - those nice decent smelling ones - not the nasty cheap stuff you buy at Pick 'n Pay. And a monthly dip is very effective too.

Dogs bedding: shove it through the tumble dryer on a regular basis - it fries any fleas.

DiFlea and Doom Fogger - available at any supermarket.
DiFlea for a spot problems like your skirting boards etc.
Doom Fogger - that's a biggie. You have to close the room for 3 hours, air for 30 minutes before going back in. You can do your entire house if you want to. I have.
And do not wash curtains afterwards - the fogger lingering there keeps any renegade fleas at bay.

Good luck

[kristylynne]

LMAO! Hope you are flea-free and financially recovered very soon.

I love it when the poo accidents happen on Daddy's watch. Isn't it funny when they feel the need to call you about it. Maybe next time it happens on your watch, you should call Marko!

[Jackie]

I can't believe McDonalds is SO EXPENSIVE over there! We can get a happy meal for under $5 here! still crap, but at least it's cheap!

[Lisa]

The ONLY thing that will keep fleas out of your home are the pills or the drops on the back shoulders of the pet. If you don't get those on your pets soon.. like the next day or so, this will all have been for naught.

I recommend Program and Sentinal.

Go buy some now.

I, unfortunately, speak from experience. Last year, we had a major flea infestation. I gave all four of my pets a bath but the last one (a cat), scratched the crap out of me and bit me very badly. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days with a serious skin infection. Still had fleas though. We bombed. We had the pets flea dipped (I'm never bathing that cat again). We did flea collars and flea powders and flea sprays. Nada. Finally, we got those pills and the fleas were gone. Scars on my hand are still there though.

[Rachel]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA Ohhh....the poo emergency made me snort out loud. I keep picturing your husband with poo covered panties in his pocket....I can't believe he was actually going to carry them around! So funny.

[Stefanie]

Poor Kate - having her bum scrubbed with toilet paper!

You need Revolution for your dogs. Once a month vial of flea killer you put on the back of their necks. Knock on wood - my dog has never had fleas thanks to that. It also included heart worm meds that you should be doing every month, too.

[Aurelia]

No flea advice, but laughing uproariously about Marko and the poo. I can just imagine if something like that happened to my husband! (He didn't understand why I carried around spare tellytubby underpants in my purse for years after the kids were trained. This would have happened to him for sure!!)

[Rosie]

Tertia -
Sorry about your luck, but do be sure to clean out your vaccum. Those farking little buggers can live in there, too.
Best,
R

[Marthie]

Hi T.

Not sure if I am mistaken, but I remember it happening to my parents once. I know they were told not to clean or wash the carpets in like 4 days because of he pisen ans stuff?! It was a while back, so I suppose it did change. I tried all the different crap on my doggy and nothing seems to work as well as a good dip! Fine they stink for a while and are really dirty, but it does work!

Good luck recovering financially!!

[Natt]

I have completely lost track of your animal situation - but dont you have cats rabbits too? Make sure you get them treated, even if they arent house animals - they could pass them onto the dogs/kids who will just bring them into the house again.

I hate fleas. We found 2 here - from a "friends" house who had asked us to feed their cats whilst on holiday. They managed to survive on my husbands motorbike leathers, on his bike and come into our house! It took me ages to pluck up the courage to ring her and tell her she had fleas - to be told they already knew! I was livid they hadnt warned us! Luckily those 2 didnt survive long, and with laminate floors and no pets here they didnt seem to breed.

and wowsers, Mcds is expensive there - our kiddie meals are still only £2 each

and he he he he - love the poo daddy incidents. Husband had one yesterday morning when he begrudgingly gave me a lie in - hardihar!

[Rachel-G]

The outside. You are doing all the right things for the house and animals, but you haven't said anything about the yard or where ever the dogs hang out. I have had flea problems before and the ONLY way I have ever succeeded fast was treating the house, the pets AND the yard. Over here in the USA they have stuff you attach to your hose or sprinkle over the yard. You would have to keep the pets off of the area for about 8 hours I think but with the total combined attack I have gotten rid of flea problems in a week or two.
OH and the furniture. Get some flea spray for furniture too.

[Emme Bea]

First, OMG, how hilarious is your post? I DO feel your pain, but it doesn't make me not laugh out loud!

So, we had the overnight flea infestation once too. We had an indoor cat, NEVER went outdoors, NEVER had fleas then one day, seemingly in the matter of hours, we noticed one flea, then another, then another, then 5 million of the little f***ers bouncing about on our white carpet. It was like a horror movie. And I am allergic to insect bites. They swell and get a blister and pop and scab and I was freaked the hell out that there were fleas in my house! (Where did they come from? The VET! We had our cat to the vet and she needed some overnight tests done and she came home with fleas! Never again went to that vet.) But I digress...

What worked for US (This was almost 20 years ago before they had the good flea stuff and flea removing companies) was Borax. Do you have that there? Here in the US it's a laundry additive called "20 Mule Team Borax". We heard that you sprinkle it on every furniture and floor surface and leave it for a few hours then vacuum it up. (Empty your vacuum bag after you do this.) Do this every 4 days to get the adult, adolescent, and eggs after they hatch. This in conjuction with weekly kitty baths and washing all the linens in the house got rid of the fleas in about 2 weeks. Seriously. Borax. Works like nothing else and is completely safe for kids and animals (and gestating LN7).

Good luck Tertia!!!

[Katherine]

We also had a flea problem when we moved into our house as the old owners never frontlined/dipped/whatever their dogs and cats. We were told by the fumigators that it takes about a week/10 days for them all to die and not to vacuum for 7 days.

[Lena]

I use frontline on my dogs, it works very well and lasts a long time. One (before frontline) I had fleas in the house. I used Doom-fogger, worked like a charm.

[mamacrab]

OMG, this is bringing it all back! Except with us it was LICE, not fleas!!! I like your last sentence. Asshole fleas. From now on they will forever be referred to as Asshole Lice! Though god FORBID we ever get them again, it was an all-consuming nightmare that last more than a month! (Do you feel better about your fleas yet??)

[Jackie]

lol, I just remembered when my husband and I were babysitting my neice and nephew. While I was upstairs in the shower, my husband was out playing with the kids in the sprinkler. Well suddendly the door to the bathroom flys open, and I have my one year old neice in the shower with me! I guess she pooed in her bathing suit, and that was my husbands solution to cleaning up the mess!

[Heather]

Definitely need one of those once a month treatments, either in tablet or liquid on the back of the neck form. They stop the fleas everywhere by, umm, making them infertile... But they're fleas, you're allowed to torture them :) Much safer, too, no nasty chemicals on the garden, carpets, etc.

[amber]

rendering the fleas infertile would be awesome. how's that for cosmic justice, stupid fleas.

[tess]

i love marko's self righteousness....like you've never dealt with an exploding bottom crisis in your natty work duds!

[Katy]

Actually, if you divide the total cost of fleapocalypse by the approximately 3 million fleas that were living among you, it probably works out to be a bargain at only a fraction of a cent per flea to kill them.

Well worth it I'd say!

[Nattie]

Hey T we use Capstar on our dogs (got 2 Staffies).

Give it to them outside cause the fles instantly jump off the dogs and die.

We did it twice and we have NEVER had another flee on either of them! We usually do it towards the end of winter - to stop the spring breeding and then mid summer.

You can get from the vet - very, very good stuff :)

Good luck

[The unpregnantmother]

We use "Frontline" (get it from Vet's only) about once a year and it works wonders.

(It's also used by mothers of pre- and primary school children for head-lice control!)

[TT]

dear T, From a fellow fighter against fleas in Cape Town: capstar only lasts 24h, kills off only those currently on the pet. So a combination of capstar tabs a few days in a row (you can theoretically give one tab a day, like forever, but it will cost you a fortune!), and frontline PLUS at the same time (repeated once a month, or at least every 6weeks in summer) kills off the fleas currently biting (capstar), the fleas jumping on again (frontline); their eggs (frontline) and ticks (ditto) - but in summer in CT this really only lasts about 4 weeks - and it takes about two applications (ie 2 months) to see the fleas completely dissapear from your pets. The house thing is a problem for me at the moment as I'm worried about having poisonous stuff around with baba putting anything in his mouth. But they sell spray stuff called Fleago at the vet shops and it works well (smells crap though) - it kills off the fleas as well as their eggs. The little buggers are fertile as hell - just another joke of the universe. I sprayed it before we went away in Dec and it seemed to have worked, for now...!

[Heather]

OMG, you poor thing!!!! Although I must admit the thought of my DH dealing with poopy panties would put me in hysterics too! Good luck getting rid of the rest of the buggers.

[griff]

Just take some hair from the dog's brush, mix it up with melamine and leave it outside. They should drop dead like, well, feas?

[victoria]

Wait -- this wasn't the ONLY time Marko's ever cleaned up a child's toileting accident/ changed a diaper/ similar?

[Egg Donor (ret.)]

I'm sure someone posted this in one of your flea posts, but don't you guys have frontline, the liquid you put between their shoulder blades once a month? That keeps them from getting fleas or ticks. It's great stuff and well worth the cost.

[Bee]

Haai. I too had a flea prob a lil while ago. Also got flea ppl in and it was sorted within a day. Put flea stuff on cats and all good. But what they DID tell me is NOT to wash the carpets at least for a week after else you nullify the effects of flea poison. Also hate those damn fleas - was revolting! Love you lank. xx

[Sharon]

Great poopy story. Loved it!

PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL OF THE PESTICIDES! Too many people say pesticides and the like are safe, but they are not. They are made to kill and contain chemicals. They are especially harmful to children and unborn babies. Not trying to freak you out, but would rather pass the info on and let you decide.

Getting rid of fleas is a battle over time. That is why prevention is best. However, remember that giving pets constant doses of pesticides is not always a good idea. We treat our animals in warm weather and taper off in cooler weather.

Rose is a good girl and a smart one as well - better safe than sorry. Clean, clean, clean while pesticides are being used.

[Lisame]

You need to leave the poison alone for at least four days so the hatchlins (sp?) die. They hatch every 24 hours so you have to stop them from hatching and laying. I HATE FLEAS!! HATE HATE HATE HATE!

Poor Kate.

[annie p]

Good for Rose w/ the scrubbing! I'm assuming they did a "fog" kind of treatment that you guys had to leave for? Any/ALL hard surfaces need to be wiped down after that, especially all of your crockery and cutlery. The residue can make the kids v. sick if they ingest it at all.
And ditto the outside-- def. treat the outside garden and grass areas too!
Those little bastards need to DIE!!!!

[Alex]

This would not help with the house-infestation problem, but I use the pills others are mentioning; I think the brand I use is called Comfortis in the US and while they are expensive (about $10 per dog per month, I think -- US $?), they seem to work.

I quit using ... refused to use ... Frontline (or similar put-on-dogs products) when I was pregnant, which caused a major blowup between me and my mother (who does provide some dog care for mine, including in her house, and thus has a right to have an opinion). There's nothing proving the stuff is safe and nothing proving it's not, at least as of 2006 (when I was pregnant). And of course it doesn't stay 100% on the dogs. The pill stuff, in contrast, I am assured goes into the dogs' bloodstream and is then ingested by the fleas ... so short of biting my dogs and sucking their blood, I am probably safe ... ditto my now-toddler. All of which is a long way of saying that with you pregnant and for Adam and Kate the pill stuff may be the way to go (I think it cannot be worse, and may be better, safety-wise, than the squirt-on stuff like Frontline -- and it does work as well, in my experience).

[GaKate]

I haven't laughed like that in a long time! I took my 2yo b/g twins to McD for the first time this week and felt the same way...$10 for milk,apples,and a 3inch dog toy (they wouldn't eat the sponge nuggets and I couldn't blame them!) But it's cold here and the indoor playground tempted us. I really love it when my husband has to deal with any type of bodily excretion - your story had my peeing in my pants. Thanks for this hilarious blog : )