It was my 40th birthday party last night, and it was a great success. It was just perfect for me, low key, fun and informal. My father, brother and husband did a sterling job of arranging everything. I will post some pics when I get hold of some. I exposed my rather large porky belly, so you might see a bit of that. (by ‘exposed’ I mean wear a fitted top)
Fun time not withstanding, I must say it felt very weird to be pregnant and sober on my 40th. It was just not how I imagined it would be. I thought I would be fit, tanned, toned, slim, botoxed and rather merry. Not sober, pregnant and feeling very frumpish. I felt weird. It also felt weird because I’ve been holding back on celebrating this pregnancy until next week is over and last night I couldn’t really hold back. Firstly, I look so obviously pregnant and secondly, everyone knew and was asking me things like “when is your due date?” (No idea, I’ve been too scared to work it out in case, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and then I will always have that date stuck in my mind).
Needless to say, Tuesday is on my mind all the time. It’s a big, big thing, as I am sure you can well believe. I feel like I haven’t felt for a long time, not since the big bad scary days of infertility. Scared, anxious and so so tempted to crawl back into the cave. Things will never be as bad as they were then, and I will be ok because no matter what happens because I have my children, but this has reminded of so much of the past pain.
So, I am going to probably be quiet for the next few days. My appointment is at lunchtime on Tuesday. Best case scenario is that the nuchal measurement comes back really great, there are no obvious markers for any abnormalities. I will do the CVS just to make 100% sure. I will go to my mom’s place afterwards to rest for a while and I will get the CVS results back on Friday. Worst case scenario is that Tuesday’s scan shows some pretty serious signs of abnormalities and I leave there in dread, waiting for the CVS results to come back. Either way, next week is a pretty big week.
I will update as soon as I can on Tuesday to let you know what the initial NT scan says. Please keep LN7 in your thoughts and hope for good results next week.
PS I ask that although you might not agree with the decisions I am taking regarding the CVS and the consequences thereof, you respect that it is my decision to make, and that I am making a choice that is right for ME and for MY family. Thanks.