It was my
40th birthday party last night, and it was a great success. It was just perfect for me, low key, fun and
informal. My father, brother and husband
did a sterling job of arranging everything. I will post some pics when I get hold of some. I exposed my rather large porky belly, so you
might see a bit of that. (by ‘exposed’ I
mean wear a fitted top)
Fun time
not withstanding, I must say it felt very weird to be pregnant and sober on my
40th. It was just not how I
imagined it would be. I thought I would
be fit, tanned, toned, slim, botoxed and rather merry. Not sober, pregnant and feeling very
frumpish. I felt weird. It also felt weird because I’ve been holding
back on celebrating this pregnancy until next week is over and last night I
couldn’t really hold back. Firstly, I
look so obviously pregnant and secondly, everyone knew and was asking me things
like “when is your due date?” (No idea, I’ve
been too scared to work it out in case, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and
then I will always have that date stuck in my mind).
Needless
to say, Tuesday is on my mind all the time. It’s a big, big thing, as I am sure you can well believe. I feel like I haven’t felt for a long time,
not since the big bad scary days of infertility. Scared, anxious and so so tempted to crawl
back into the cave. Things will never be
as bad as they were then, and I will be ok because no matter what happens
because I have my children, but this has reminded of so much of the past
pain.
So, I am
going to probably be quiet for the next few days. My appointment is at lunchtime on Tuesday. Best case scenario is that the nuchal
measurement comes back really great, there are no obvious markers for any
abnormalities. I will do the CVS just to
make 100% sure. I will go to my mom’s
place afterwards to rest for a while and I will get the CVS results back on
Friday. Worst case scenario is that
Tuesday’s scan shows some pretty serious signs of abnormalities and I leave
there in dread, waiting for the CVS results to come back. Either way, next week is a pretty big week.
I will update
as soon as I can on Tuesday to let you know what the initial NT scan says. Please keep LN7 in your thoughts and hope for
good results next week.
PS I ask
that although you might not agree with the decisions I am taking regarding the
CVS and the consequences thereof, you respect that it is my decision to make,
and that I am making a choice that is right for ME and for MY family. Thanks.
Thinking of you and sending many good thoughts your way. And happy birthday wishes. Lots of 'em.
Posted by: Robin from Israel | 23 November 2008 at 10:01 AM
Happy Birthday, Tertia! I'm sending out as many positive vibes as possible.
I hope all goes well, I will be thinking of you. XXX
Posted by: serina | 23 November 2008 at 10:17 AM
In Israel, we are up and have a normal work day... so here is another Israeli wishing you all the best for your birthday and every single day in your future. I'll be thinking of you so much on Thursday! Much luck and happiness to you and your beautiful family.
(I'm sure you don't look frumpy.)
Posted by: Lila | 23 November 2008 at 11:11 AM
Happy Birthday!
And everything is crossed here for a lovely looking scan and great results.
Posted by: Veronica | 23 November 2008 at 11:19 AM
Happy 40th birthday, Tertia! I wish you all the best for the new decade of your life.
As for this week, you will be in my thoughts. I am trusting with you that all will be well and that you and LN7 will sail through this pregnancy.
Posted by: Hanlie | 23 November 2008 at 11:54 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TERTIA xxxxx
I will also be thinking of you this week with extra love for LN7.
Thankyou for sharing such precious times with us YOU ARE JUST AMAZING!!!
love Antoinette (from down under)
Posted by: antoinette | 23 November 2008 at 12:23 PM
Happy Birthday, T! All the best for the week that lies ahead- you only deserve the best - you are very special. Sending lots of love and happy thoughts.
Posted by: Lindsay | 23 November 2008 at 12:29 PM
Happy birthday and many more. Glad you enjoyed your party.
good luck for tuesday. Thinking only happy thoughts.
xxx
Posted by: JennaB | 23 November 2008 at 01:24 PM
You're in my thoughts and prayers - having a glass of chardonnay in the hope that Wedesnday will be a double celebration for you and Marko!
Posted by: Wobs | 23 November 2008 at 01:26 PM
I think you're fabulous (and not in the least frumpy). 40 looks very good on you.
Am keeping everything crossed that Tuesday's results reveal nothing abnormal xx
Posted by: Terrie from Oz | 23 November 2008 at 01:28 PM
Happy Birthday girl. Am keeping you in my thoughts and know that you have my support during this time, as you do so many of your readers. We care about you and know that you are a thoughtful person and caring person, it comes through in your writing and in your love of all things colored olive and tan!
Posted by: Melissia | 23 November 2008 at 01:45 PM
You will be on my mind.
Oh, and, Happy Birthday dear.
Posted by: blackbird | 23 November 2008 at 02:54 PM
Happy birthday! And of course I will be thinking my fiercest good thoughts for you and LN7.
Posted by: Alexa | 23 November 2008 at 04:00 PM
Just wanted to share some positive numbers-related mojo.
My miracle son was conceived on 07/07/07 (ivf, so yah, we know) after years of trying, treatments, loss, etc. Seven was definitely our lucky number!
I am hoping the best for you and yours.
Posted by: melinus | 23 November 2008 at 04:20 PM
Happy Birthday!
Nothing but positive thoughts and wishes for you and LN7. I know how long this wait is going to be for me, so I don't even want to think about how it feels for you. You will be on my mind all week. Please take care of you.
Posted by: Bridgette | 23 November 2008 at 04:23 PM
Welcome to the 40 club and we'll be sending good thoughts across the ocean for you next week.
Posted by: Amy | 23 November 2008 at 05:22 PM
Happy Birthday!!! I will be thinking happy thoughts for you and belly babe over the next few days....no let's make that weeks. I really do hope everything goes beautifully and you are given the peace of mind you SO deserve.
Posted by: Sarah | 23 November 2008 at 05:25 PM
Happy Birthday Tertia. You, LN7 and your family are in my prayers....
Posted by: kerry | 23 November 2008 at 05:28 PM
Life begins at forty. Really.
No one under 40 cn be expected to understand this!
(Good luck with it all, thinking of you...)
Posted by: L. | 23 November 2008 at 06:40 PM
happy birthday!!!
and best of luck next week. i've been where you are (and have had it turn out both ways on different occasions - one good, one bad). no question in my mind: the waiting and the not knowing is the hardest part. wishing you nothing but easy days and wonderful answers in the coming week.
karen
Posted by: anothe karen | 23 November 2008 at 07:14 PM
Happy Birthday!
The scary place is where I spent most of the last pg. It is what it is. Keeping things crossed for you and LNS on Tuesday, Friday, and on from there.
Posted by: JuliaKB | 23 November 2008 at 07:20 PM
Sending the very best of wishes for your 40th and the healthiest vibes towards LN7.
Keeping you in my thoughts this week, hoping for the best of outcomes.
Posted by: emme bea | 23 November 2008 at 07:28 PM
Happy Birthday, Tertia. Sending postive vibes to you and LN7. And hell yes, it's all about what's best for you and your family.
Posted by: Jana | 23 November 2008 at 07:54 PM
Happy Birthday! Keeping everything crossed for Tuesday.
Hang in there you are doing so great Tertia!
Posted by: Lisa | 23 November 2008 at 08:01 PM
Happy Birthday, T!!
My birthday is Tuesday. And for my birthday wish, I'm wishing (and praying) that all goes perfectly for you and LB7!
Posted by: Stefanie | 23 November 2008 at 08:06 PM