An early New Year's Resolution

After a particularly painful and humiliating experience last week involving a pair of olive green cheap plastic shoes (what is with me and the olive green??) and much pointing and derisive laughter by my so called ‘sister’* (“Oh.My.Word! Tertia, you have outdone yourself, those are THE most revolting shoes I have ever seen in my life. Paul, come look here, aren't these THE most revolting shoes you've ever seen?!”), I have decided that perhaps something does need to be done.  I will grudgingly admit that perhaps the olive green cheap plastic shoes weren't the most attractive shoes ever. But is that a reason to to mock someone??

 

Apparently, according to my so called ‘sister’, comfort and value for money doesn’t make the best style guidelines and in fact, opens one up for soul destroying mockery and derision.

 

So, I will wait another FORTY years until I am PRACTICALLY DEAD before I can wear cheap plastic shoes if I so wish. I will endeavour to find clothes that aren’t (a) olive, (b) plastic and (c) on sale. I will make a concerted effort to wear clothes that match, that aren’t so “comfy” and are at least from the last decade. I can’t promise to wear make up, but I will think about doing something with my hair and perhaps even wear earrings. Maybe. I will also do my best not to wear my pajamas to the shops.

 

Unfortunately, I am unable to do any of this now as I am larger than a double story house and right now, comfort triumphs over form any day. But I will make an effort next year.

 

I have to say that I do not do this with much enthusiasm or excitement, but rather as a way to appease my fickle and shallow sister and to prevent further scathing attacks on my physical appearance.

 

Anyway, thanks to my so called ‘sister’, that is my early New Year’s resolution. I am sure I will stick to it as well as I did last year’s resolution which was to exercise more, which if I can recall, lasted at least until mid Jan.

*I am sure there is something in the Bible that says "Thou shalt not mock your sister" or something like that.  Genesis 3.2, clause 2, sub section (iv). You see!  These Lordy folk just bend the rules when it suits them.

Comments

[Jennifer]

My Darling Tertia,
I don't remember the last time I've written, but I used to say nice things and they made you happy. And I think that you called me your first international reader after I bought your book. Anyhoo, I haven't worn make-up but once in the last year, I don't know what I wear and I don't care (which is a little unusual for a small-town surgeon's wife), but I promise to try to pretend to care if you will pretend to care. For 30 days or so. I still check in daily after all these years and am cautiously thrilled about your pregnancy. You just might inspire me to try for one more. Or not. I love you, stranger-friend.

[Sister Mel]

I need to just add here that shock therapy was needed. Also I asked Miss Comfy-at-all-costs to post a pic and a poll of those shoes but she said she didn't want to expose you to the shoes.
Oh, and even Adam said the shoes were ugly which is probably why he wants to buy his mother a shoe (or two) for her birthday.
Underneath all that baggy olive clothing and stretched out T-shirts with her work logo on from 15 years ago (I kid you not!) coupled with plastic funny shoes, lies my gorgeous sister who at 40, is too young to give up on her appearance and be so frikkin' comfy all the time. Work with me here people!

[c]

Totally off the subject, but I was looking for something to keep the hellions from driving me crazy at my school. *50 bucks is a SMALL price to pay* when I found this site. I thought it may be useful for you.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/hippity-hop-ball.html

[Tripsmom]

Tertia, you can't have new tits & Botox and be all frumpy - DOES NOT GO TOGETHER WELL!! You are going to work at being a Yummy Mummy - you know the ones that ALWAYS look so cool, calm and collected (and of course properly dressed). I HATE THEM!!

[Maritza]

I'm with Tripsmom, why don't we explore psychology behind the combination of designer boobs and crocs. It fumbles with my brain.

[Ellen]

Tertia. Please-oh-please can we have a preggo picture????

[Lindsay]

I'm so with Tripsmom and Maritza!! The boobs and botox and then no effort on the clothes, make up etc? Although everytime I've seen you, you've looked great! It's not uncomfortable to look great and you feel so much better. If you need a shopping buddy, shout. I LOVE IT!!

[Sister Mel again]

Oh the relief, I thought you would all hate me but here you are on the 'save-the-sister' campaign as well. I agree ... good boobies and smooth foreheads are worth dressing up. Thanks ladies!

[Wobs]

Who was it that said... "Sometimes you need to fake it a little to get it going, but the more you practise, the easier it gets...." Fake it, till you make it.

[Bianca W]

Totally off the topic. I assume lbc was fine yesterday. You never mentioned it all, that is why I assume all is well - just like to know, you know, for sure. :-)

[Kim]

Can you post a picture of those ugly shoes so we can have a laugh too - even better if you're in it too wearing those olive sweatpants.

[ruth]

who gives a fkn toss about ugly shoes? you have a BABY in them thar skinfolds . . . when you hit a hundred, you are so not going to care about having once worn ugly shoes - you will be too busy complaining about having to wrap presents for so many goddam great grandchildren . . . .
i suspect the baby doesnt give a rat's behind either!

[Bridgette]

Oh please, please post a pic! ;)

[wyliekat]

That's funny. I've just come to the realization that the muffin top I sport on an almost daily basis must now be confined in pants that have *give* in the waist. Which almost certainly means wearing pants with an elastic waistband. Which means I am officially OLD. I can no longer by any old pants in any old store and expect to look decent. The middle aged paunch will not permit.

Sigh.

[Nadia]

Heh, you are so funny :) Thanks for the laughs.

[Andrea]

MY sister likes to wear shoes with elastic bands (for comfort for the expanding aged foot, I suppose) (she's 37), with "trouser socks" underneath, and "Mom Jeans", high-waisted (2 inches below her practical bra), high-ankled (not on purpose), and a slight camel toe. I deride her for it mercilessly. And we are both "Lordy Folk".

[Dana]

Sister Mel, please, you have to make your sister understand that looking great (or nice, at least) is NOT opposed to comfy!!!!
Just avoid tight clothes without looking like one of those Hare Krishna guys…

[21stCenturyMom]

How nice to have such a loving sister. But never, ever, ever stop buying on sale. It's the only way we have to triumph over evil merchandisers who mark things up 300 percent!

Crocs, though. Never. For shoe comfort you have to expensive like Dansko or Bjorn.

[Marcel Dress]

The New Year brings new beginnings and a chance to start fresh. http://fashion.postedpost.com/2008/11/14/comfort-continues-in-shoes/

[Tine]

Nope. Not jumping on this bandwagon. No way.

The lady is pregnant! Let her be comfy! And cheap!

[Katy]

Sorry Tertia, it is every siblings perogative to mock their other siblings. Bonus points if you can make them cry. I'm sure you can come up with something to tease her about unmercifully...

[Jennifer]

Most of my days consist of comfy, flannel pj's, then transitioning to comfy yoga pants...I do shower between costume changes:)

[ruth]

tertia you NEED at least one pair of these. they are both cool, and COOL, and oh so comfy. you could wear them from now until LN7 is out, and they just expand and contract with the belly. plus, thinking of your sensory issues, they are made from quality soft cotton, and have no elastic to dig into rapidly expanding flesh and irritate the hell out of it. i do yoga and pilates in mine, and when i first bought them wore them 6 days straight, washing them at night so i could put em on the following day. your kids would look super cute in them as well . . .

http://www.tehpants.com.au/index.php

[Kate]

I am all about comfy. In our nearly 9 years I have never ever hell no worn a sexy nighty, or anything sexy. I come home put on my sweats (usually old high school gym sweats), rip off the bra put on an XXL sweatshirt and fuzzy purple slippers (which do not match the GREEN sweats), and that is as sexy as I get. Unless you count when I was breast feeding and had the nifty tank tops and bras that at the flick of a finger flug open. Oh ya those were sooooo sexy!

[stay@homemom]

give us a picture or where them to the party tomorrow night

[Alex]

We want a photo, these sound like they could be uglier than crocs. Unless of course they are crocs - the original ones?

[Midlife Mommy]

Oh Tertia, this poem is for you. It's called "When I am Old, I Shall Wear Purple."

http://labyrinth_3.tripod.com/page59.html