Montessori Schooling – Assvice required!

At the beginning of the year, a friend of mine (no names mentioned – RENEE!!) offered to go to the preparatory school to find out more about putting our kids names on the waiting list for 2010. The particular preparatory school is a very good school and the kids will go there for two years before they start big school.

 

My friend (RENEE!) came back and said that there is no waiting list, we need not worry. Unfortunately my friend (RENEE!) went to the WRONG school. The school we want to get into has a long waiting list which I have only just put the kids name on.

 

I am thinking about breaking up with my friend (RENEE!).

 

I am now busy exploring various options (bribing my way in / offering to buy playground equipment / crying and making a scene in the office) and one of the options that has come up is an alternative school which looks really nice.

 

It is a Montessori school and I know very little about how they operate. I have no idea whether this type of school would suit my kids. Montessori seems quite granola, and I am the least granola person around. We add MSG to our fruit to make it taste better here. Cheese chips are considered a food group and ketchup is the only vegetable serving for the day. Will we fit in? Will a Montessori school suit a sensitive child like Adam and a bossy child like Kate?

 

I would appreciate any insights or opinions on Montessori schooling. Share!

Edited to add - this is the school I am talking about - they seem really nice.

Comments

[Egg Donor]

It often depends on the Montessori school, since they are run somewhat independently. The one by me growing up was very unstructured, and this is common. Students choose what they want to do and have a lot of control over when and what they study. This works very well for some kids, and it's argued that gifted children in particular benefit from being able to work at an accelerated pace and more creatively. For other students, including a good friend of mine who went there through 5th grade, it was not at all effective. She was of average intelligence, not particularly self motivated, and came into public schools in 6th grade with a somewhat poor background and difficulty following instruction and keeping attention.

I'd seriously recommend talking to them in depth about how they work with the kids, what a day to day routine is, and get a lot of detail so you can decide if it will work well for both Kate and Adam. My initial instinct from my own experiences is that it may not be the best option for them with the needs you've described, but as I said, it really depends on the individual school

[Kath]

Here in the US, Montessori is like a brand name, but it's more like a franchise like Dairy Queen where the owners buy the name and can do whatever they like to it compared to say McDonald's that mandates all the stores function more or less the same (can you tell it's lunchtime and I'm hungry?) That just means you need to talk to the school to learn more about it as they can vary widely depending on who is running it.

The big thing in education in the US now seems to be the Waldorf School model which is less structured and they claim more nurturing. It can be expensive so we have family that moved to a remote part of California in order to go to a charter Waldorf school. Another friend in Baltimore (which has pretty bad public schools) has three kids in private school and swears her experience with Waldorf has been way better than any of her other experiences.

[beck]

I don't know much about Montessori schools except that I know a family with three kids who have gone (I think all their lives) and the kids are the most polite, well-adjusted, reasonable kids I have ever met. I am VERY impressed with them, but I know it's probably a combo of many things and not just the school. In their case Montessori seems to fit perfectly.

[Shandra]

I agree with the PP that it really depends on the individual school.

My son's Montessori is really great and I recommend it totally. It's small and only does toddler and Casa (ages 3-6).

The Montessori approach isn't about what you eat even if some of the schools are pretty granola (ours is at school and does not care much what you do at home). It is however about a lot of individual work and very concrete activities. For each activity the teacher, or a senior student, 'presents' the activity (shows the child how to do it).

Once the child's been shown how to do it, he or she can choose that activity whenever he or she wants. The activities range from math and language to social studies and what they call "practical life" (housework type stuff that builds up fine motor skills).

Having taught special ed and having worked with kids of different learning styles, I know that no one approach is for everyone.

That said, the Montessori material is some of the best I have ever seen. It's nice stuff to hold and play with; very appealing for the kids, and fun. The teachers are really well aware that kids can't, for example, write easily until they have the fine motor control, so they have a lot of activities to develop that rather than just plunking them down with a pen - tweezer activities, threading beads, etc.

I find Montessori also has a lot of intelligence in building up not just skills like counting or letter sounds but real understanding about math concepts, language concepts, etc. So if learning is something that concerns you (which it may or may not at your kids' age), there's good stuff in a Montessori classroom.

However as the PP said, it is child-directed. The teachers do track what each child is doing and if say a child never picks a math activity the teacher might sit down and see if she can entice the child into it. But mostly it is follow the child's bliss.

So yes, it can be that in a given year someone's kid won't cover everything that they would more traditionally. Our school is pretty good at the enticing part, but my son did spend last year blasting through the math and ignoring the letters. (Not that I cared! He's only 3 now!)

I personally liked this approach for my son because he has a lot of natural curiosity to engage with things. I didn't want a programme where everyone had to do the same thing all together all the time or where he was going to be pushed to read before he was interested.

Montessori is also generally very peaceful and quiet - there is no emphasis on "getting the kids going" (although they do definitely have outdoor/running playtime and soccer and stuff). There is a lot of emphasis on the kids having time to learn concentration. That was important to me too - I kind of hate the "rah rah rah, rush rush rush" days where it's always! sparkly! happy! That's a personal thing.

They actually teach "grace and courtesy" and I have to say that honestly? It's one of my favourite things. My son comes home with great manners and I get the credit. :)

Critics of Montessori tend to be concerned about the lack of "fantasy play." (In the early years.) My own experience with my son is that although he has an active imagination, he still really gravitates towards "doing what mummy and daddy do" and that's what the practical life stuff is and he loves it. His school does have some toys that are more traditional (lego, dress up, etc.) that come out for the two after-school hours.

But, I think it's fair as a criticism goes. Our house has fairies, so in the context of my son's life, it's just not an issue to me right now.

Another criticism is that it is too demanding/robotic in that kids are pretty much expected to use the materials the way they were intended.

This is what I found varied a lot from school to school. At my son's school, as long as the child is not throwing the materials around or disturbing others, they might show him the "right" way again from time to time but generally let it go. I myself think the kids get a lot of self-esteem out of there being a right way and getting it right, but I am glad my school has a pretty mild approach on the days the kids just don't feel like doing the steps a-b-c.

If you are touring Montessoris I think this is a really good question to ask.

[Shandra]

P.S. because the older kids get to be guides for the younger kids I think Kate might really get into it. :) For Adam the quiet and routine might help, but I think here is where you need to be careful about the particular school.

One thing they'll probably tell you is that the three-year cycle is really important. I think that's true in that the third year is the 'payoff year' for the kids to really feel their own mastery. But I don't think it's a cult where you have to stay or else.

I could go on, so post or email if you have more specific questions after you've seen the school!

[sinda]

My kids go to a montessori school that's been around for 40 years - I love it, they love it...it's wonderful.

Our school is accredited by the AMI, International Montessori Association. http://www.montessori-ami.org/

I'd ask the schools you look at how they are accredited, if the teachers are required to be certified by a Montessori organization or not, how closely they follow Maria Montessori's teachings...and also, read about it - read Maria's writings, and also this is a good website http://www.montessori-science.org/.

Here, at least, the program seems to work best when the parents understand the process and believe in it - so I'd make sure it's the right fit for you first.

[Rachel]

I think Montessori Schools are great! They are very child-centered, child-led, etc. I think that both Adam and Kate would do well in this setting. Younger children are guided by older children, which I feel would be a very big plus for both Adam and Kate. I think Kate would enjoy working with older kids and feeling like more of a "big girl" and I think being around older children might bring Adam out of his shell a bit. I also think that the three year cycle might be good for Adam because of less changes, getting to know the teacher better, etc.

[Christy]

Hi there,

The key thing that others have mentioned is that Montessori's are really all different. In general it applies to a style of learning - learn at your own pace; child led; etc. - but the way in which that is implemented depends on the school. My daughter (who is not quite two) is in a Montessori, and I am loving it for her (though I likely will move her to public school for Kindergarten - we are in Canada). The thing I like is the things others have mentioned - they are sort of free to follow what they'd like to do but there is a "point" to what they are doing.

As I said, my daughter Anika is not yet two so it's not like I'm looking for her to do advanced calculus or anything - pretty much if she seems to be having a good time through the day then I'm fine with that. But the things she's picked up are courtesy things; for example, she pushes her chair in whenever she gets down from the table, her manners are good, she'll carry her lunch bag to the kitchen for me, she knows to put her boots on the mat and her coat in the closet (usually on the floor of the closet, but you know, she tries).

I don't know a lot about the education system in SA, so it's hard to really comment on whether this kind of environment would be better for your kids or not. Based on my experience I'd say that I think that a Montessori would be a lot more gentle and accommodating to a child that was more on the sensitive side, but again I'm comparing that to the public school system in Canada so it's maybe not the same for you? Overall I'd agree with Shandra - tour the montessori and ask a lot of questions; see what kind of vibe you get. Questions I asked were about how they handle discipline, how they reward/encourage positive behaviour; what their strategy is for letting us know about anything they are concerned about; etc. Best wishes; you'll make a great decision.

[Tine]

Our son attended Montessori school for 3 yrs. (ages 2.5-5), and he/we loved it. Daughter (age 2.5) will be starting there soon. Commenter Shandra gives a really good description of how real Montessori schools work.

Beware the fake Montessori school. Because the name is not trademarked, anyone can use it. Hence a lot of facilities with "Montessori" in their names are just glorified daycare centers, or are very watered-down versions of the Montessori "way." Good advice from commenter Sinda on investigating the teachers' credentials, visiting the school, and learning about Montessori on your own.

Son attends public kindergarten now, even though our beloved school does offer the elementary grades. The only reason we switched him is b/c we can't afford Montessori tuition for 2 kids. On the bright side: he is thriving in kindy. He was very well prepared skill- and knowledge-wise; and he adjusted to the different way of doing things just fine.

[Kathy B.]

Quick comment -- gotta get back to work.

Daughter went to Montessori pre-school 1.5 years. Went to a "very well-respected kindergarden." She was way ahead of the children in her class who had attended the "very well-respected" school's pre-school program.

So for my child, Montessori worked wonders and gave her an excellent head-start for the rest of her education career. (Now 27 years old and a college graduate.)

I could go into many details (like in first grade she was 'introduced' to a reading program that she had already finished in preschool -- again, a very good private school -- imagine how bored she would have been in public school!)

[Sara]

Both my husband and I grew up in Montessori schools, and I think it made us the creative, curious people that we are. We both see learning as something we do every day - not just inside a school. I think if your kids are bright and into learning, they'd do very well in a montessori school.

[Anna]

Hi Tertia.

I know quite a bit on the matter. I was raised in Rome, Italy, where Maria Montessori started her school, and I went to a wonderful Montessori school until I was 11 years old. I loved it. I was a very independent child, very bossy, and on my first day of school, at age 2, after I looked at my classroom, I told my mom :'you go, I stay'. My Julia is not at all like this, and it looks Adam is not either, so you have to be careful.

First of all, living in the United States and with a preschooler, I found out that Montessori schools in different countries are VERY DIFFERENT. I will describe how I found them different below, but basically I think you really need to find out by asking the right questions what Montessori is like in SA. You have to learn the language of local schools and understand what they mean really.

Second, there are a ton of schools who claim to be Montessori, but only a few actually are, and they have an AMI ( International Montessori Association) certification. I would not trust a school who claims to be Montessori and does not have AMI, because they are just exploiting the Montessori reputation to get enrollments. Usually there is a reason for this, so beware.

In Italy, Montessori schools are very relaxed, everything is play and rules are gently bent to accomodate the child's needs. Everything is on a child's scale, and of course the teaching method and materials are the ones Maria Montessori devised. In the US, Montessori schools are regarded as 'structured', i.e., a bit more rules than other places. So in Italy Montessori schools are more similar to schools that in the US are called 'developmental', rather than 'structured'. You would need to get a sense for this in your country. From reading your blog, I would describe the way you raise your kids as more developmental than structure, but I may be mistaken.

Stupidly assuming that Montessori is the same everywhere, I started Julia on a Montessori preschool in the States, and it was a disaster. She is sensitive,purposely spoilt, needs a lot of affection and has trouble separating from me. In addition, she does not like to follow strict rules, so if you make a point of having a fight for every little rule like folding a napkin, you will have her fighting you all day. Now she goes to a preschool with a slightly more 'developmental' curriculum, i.e., children do things when they are ready to do them. Rules are still there, but not for every little detail,just for important stuff, and teachers improvise quite a bit to fit to the needs of the children. She is very happy to go.

The third thing is that in every Montessori school I have seen (mine in Italy, the ones in the US) there is a bit more individual play rather than group play, i.e., the children do their 'exercises' alone. You have to see how much this is true for SA, and see if this would fit your children's character, especially Adam's. From what you describe, Kate would probably be at ease everywhere.

You can email me if you have questions, but I think you better talk with SA moms.

[Nicola Theron]

My kids go to a Montessori and have since they were 3 months old, it's awesome and thats putting it mildly. I can't even begin to tell you what a wonderful help it was for my son Ben, who had borderline SIDS (sensory integration disorder)...the progress he made at that school was remarkable, so I think it would be PERFECT for Adam. Montessori is all about nuturing young minds whle keeping the spirit free. I don't find ours "unstructured" AT ALL. The children have no constraints on how much they want to learn in areas they show interest but there is a basic curriculum they do follow. I also loved the classrooms ( a true Mont will have 3-6yr olds in same room)A Montessori will install in your child a foundation that evolves into a life-long love of learning.

[Bottonz]

Montessori is great !!! And I think Adam and kate might just benefit from it. I wish we had one close by for my girly.

[Andrea]

If your children need structure, I vote no. In my experience with these schools and children in these schools (I'm in the family and child therapy field), those children who need routine have a very difficult time adjusting. Although some sing the praises of the Montessori layout, when compared to other schooling systems, they are on the looser end of the spectrum. If a child struggles to motivate themselves, to pace themselves, work alone or find meaning apart from basic instruction, this format is typically not the best. For independent learners who are good at pushing themselves, it can be a great way to let them learn at their own pace. Some have called Montessori schools the "Home school that is not at home"...but I suppose that depends on the homeschooler, because I've seen some strict parents!

[Tiah]

Please, feel free to email me if you want to know more of my experience - but I love it. However, a caution, not all are the same.

But myself and my three siblings all went to one, each child with a very different personality, and to this day we say it was the best money my parents ever spent.

I sent my son to one two days a week in England. If I could have figured out how to send him more, I would have. Best money I ever spent. I knew when I signed him up that it was going to be a good experience; yet, still found myself astounded by how much he blossomed there. I wish to heck I could find one in my area of South Africa.

[Stefanie]

I think it depends on the child. My kids need structure - especially my boy. He wouldn't do well in a montessori school at all.

[oliviacw]

I went to a Montessori school from kindergarten through 5th grade, as did my brother and sister. My sister now has her son in a Montessori preschool, and my brother has just enrolled his son in a Waldorf school - so we do all pretty much believe in the approach!

The head of the school I attended actually studied with Maria Montessori, so I think what I experienced was a close to "real" Montessori as you'll find. The emphasis was on individual progress in key skills - physical development, math, reading, writing - with a lot of hands on materials. I attribute my solid understanding of mathematical concepts to the hands-on math materials. When you know what 100 beads looks like, and how it can be broken down into different groups easily - then you never have a problem with basic math skills.

The school I went to also encouraged exploration of the arts. We did a lot of craft and art projects that were tied into other curriculum. We had music time every week. And what I still remember was that in 1st grade we actually went to a production of the opera Aida. Heavy stuff for 1st graders? Maybe, but we spent a lot of time before it listening to music in the classroom, discussing what opera was, and talking about the story (in age-appropriate terms). It was fabulous.

As others have said, it's essential to learn how the specific school approaches the Montessori method. In my experience, it's great for kids who are interested in exploring and working on their own, and for others to learn to do so. For children who really do want to be directed, it can be challenging.

[Lizelle]

My assvice (sorry if it is a repeat of what has already been said - no time to read other comments...) Go on your own and sit in when they are busy working - you will know if it will work for your kids or not. I went and realised that it won't - structure is WAY to important in my son's life (sadly cause I loved the school, the teachers and the way they do things)

[stephanie]

It's interesting that some of you say Montessoris are not structured -- we feel as though our daughter's school (in the US) is almost too structured at times. The schedule is the same every day, and there's a definite structure to the order in which children are taught to use each of the materials and a great deal of persnicketiness about how they use them. We like Montessori a lot but sometimes wish it had more room for imagination and play.

[liesl]

My boys attend an amazing montessori pre school and they are incredibly happy there. I find their approach works for both my boys who are totally different personalities. The headmistress emphasises the importance of building each and every childs self esteem and confidence and makes sure they feel secure and happy. I realise that each school is different but I highly recommend the montessori based teaching method. xx

[Neda Ann]

We recently moved our daughter to a Montessori school. I felt, as you mentioned, that it would be too 'granola' for us. However, our daughter is thriving & loves the school. She has a temperament similar to Kate, she has to be in charge. This has not presented a problem. We have had to explain how there are 'school rules' & 'home rules' in certain situations (I'm sorry, but it is unrealistic to expect a 4 year old to properly wipe their butt with three squares of toilet paper!). However, after 4 months I am glad we made the switch. Good luck on making the decision.

[cooler*doula]

Dude... The preschool campus is on a wine farm... You still have any doubts?

LOL

Seriously - my son is in a Montessori school. You've got some great comments on that so far, so I won't add anything except to say that it's worked out wonderfully for us. And him, most importantly.

[jen]

My son attends a Montessori preschool, and I am heartbroken that I will have to take him out to send him to 'big school' before I think he is ready (but the education system in the UK sucks - my son is forced to go to school when he has only just turned 4. Can you imagine?!). He has been in the preschool for over a year, and the fine motor skills, letter / number familiarity, curiousity and general manners they encourage are outstanding - just as a direct result of the learning approach. I'd say that the one negative is things like dressing up and the imaginative / craft side is slightly lacking - but that is down to the individual school, and the child's (non-)choice of activity (my son looks at me like I am insane when I suggest he dresses up!). Depending on the school, they may or may not be good at encouraging them to attempt very new things. My son never paints at school, but they won't push him to, either. But he does puzzles at an 8yr old's level, which they gently encourage and stretch. Each to their own.

My son is very like Adam (borderline SIDS) and it is a wonderfully calm and peaceful environment and the only one that I found allowed my son to concentrate and 'learn' (I use that very loosely as he is only 3!), as there weren't the distractions of a standard (very noisy) preschool. One could argue that it meant that he didn't learn to 'rough it' and therefore won't be prepared for 'big school' - but my standpoint is that it hasn't scared him off the concept of 'school' by being too overwhelming, and is allowing him to develop his confidence wonderfully, without the distractions normally inherent in preschool (ie other people's overly noisy bratty kids!). They are taught to be kind and considerate, which I feel is paid lip service to in any other environment. I certainly have seen a lot of very worrying and unkind behaviour in all the other preschools that I've seen.

Kate would love the very practical stuff they do. My son volunteers at his art club to sweep up every week - and that's certainly not through my modelling or encouragement, it's all Montessori! She might miss out on the imaginative dressing up stuff, but then she can do that all at home and it sounds like she has that all sorted. She would love being able to 'mother' the younger kids and I think she would really enjoy being able to do her own thing, rather than the set activities favoured by other types of preschool.

Go and sit in and observe a morning's school. Watch how the kids interact with each other, how much attention the staff are paying to kids that aren't directly interacting with them, how they engage the children in new activities, and how the children react to the staff. You might find some of it over-stuffy (some people are appalled that my son shakes hands with his teacher before and after school - I just think it's good manners). They also tend to have a higher staff/student ratio and smaller class sizes, which I find so much more reassuring.

And another possibility - can you do a trial hour / 90 minutes with Adam and Kate? I chose my Montessori preschool after going round various options with my (then) 18 month old. All the other places we saw, my son cowered behind me and would not interact. We went to the Montessori and despite being hungry and tired, my son looked around, walked over to an activity and started playing very naturally with a boy twice his size, who showed him how it worked. Take the kids and see their reactions. You'll know.
Good luck :)

[Tiffan]

I didn't get to read all of the posts, but I thought Shandra's response was spot on with my experience. My above all advise, is to spend time at the school and see how it makes you feel. Then ask if you can bring Adam and Kate in (individually) to meet with a teacher and interact with the space. That will tell you a lot. ANd for what it's worth, I don't find the Montessori school my son goes to, to be unstructured. It's true, the kids are taught to be self directed, but there is guidance and modeling within that. Their day is actually quite structured and routined overall, which my son absolutely needs. I found the play-based pre-schools waaaaaay more unstructured and likely to cause over-excitement or anxiety in my spirited boy.