The forces; they are against me

My sister’s youngest (the child formerly known as Fifi) is 7 months older than my two and when my two were little, she would send me a message every now and then saying something like ‘6 months is the BEST stage ever’. This went on every few months until about 18 months when she sent me a text messages saying “18 months is NOT the best stage ever”. I laughed nervously because she has been pretty spot on up until then. She was right about 18 months. She also told me that 3 is worse than 2. She was right about that as well.

My kids are being VERY, VERY annoying. Asshole’ish behaviour in the extreme. They clearly get that from their father. They don’t listen, they know better than me about everything and the two of them together are like a bloody tornado. Hard work.

This morning I sent her a text message saying “3.5 years is definitely NOT the best stage ever”.

After I sent the message, I put the phone down on the bed and went to have a shower. After I had washed my bits and put my false teeth in, I went back into my room and took the phone away from Kate, reminding her once again that MOMMY’S PHONE IS NOT A TOY! 

Pick up phone, notice strange instruction on screen.

“Please enter your new PIN”

Pardon? You must be mistaken. Enter the old PIN, the one I’ve had for FOURTEEN YEARS.

“ERROR. Please enter your new PIN”

Stupid phone. Enter old PIN.

“Too many incorrect attempts. Your SIM card has been blocked. Please contact your provider to unblock your phone”

KATE!

In the meantime, while my phone is temporarily disabled because my 3 year old had allocated a new PIN, the fraud division of my credit card company was desperately trying to get hold of me to confirm whether I had indeed just spent 7,000 bucks at an electronics store 2000 kms away from where I live. 

Some underhand lily-livered delinquent had ‘skimmed’ my credit card (I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU LITTLE FUCKER!) and had used a ‘skimmed’ copy of my credit card to spend 7,000 bucks that morning. Thank goodness my bank is on the ball, but it is a huge inconvenience to me. My card has been cancelled and I have to wait five (5) working days to get a new one. I had to buy electricity online today (we have a prepaid electricity meter) and of course, no credit card! 

Of course, I have a theory who did it. It must have happened when I was in Johannesburg last week. And I think I know which slimy bastard did it. I told the bank my theory and they were markedly disinterested in my sleuthing skills. “Yes Mrs Albertyn, we will note that on your file”. Note that on my file???? Why aren’t you dashing out to arrest the bastard WHO STOLE MY MONEY! Ok, not my money as I will get it back, but he STOLE!  What is this world coming to! The culprit should be taken outside and shot at dawn!

The most annoying thing of all is that Marko can now say “I told you so”. Where as I take the ‘most people are trustworthy and divine’ approach to life, Marko takes the ‘everybody is out to get us and you should never, ever trust anyone’ approach. He breaks out into a cold sweat if he has to buy anything online and has been known to triple encrypt various bits of random information. Whereas I hand out my details with gay abandon at every opportunity. And this is how my trust is rewarded!!! This whole business is most annoying. 

And now, I really must go. I’d like to have ended on a wittier note but I am exhausted after my fun filled day and I have to be up early for my podiatrist appointment. Good night all. May the force be with you.

Comments

[Sami]

My hubby won't buy online he, is a nervous wreck when the waiter stays away for longer than 5 seconds with his card and wait for this..... follows the petrol attendand when he pays for fuel!!!!

[Heather]

Sorry to hear about both the phone and the credit card. Are you sure Kate didn't borrow your card online, LOL! Just kidding.

[Melody Brown]

People who wont buy online are far to anal. Thats why we PAY FOR CARD INSURANCE.... so thats why you will get your money back. Dish out your card willy nilly, at least you get the value outta your insurance!

Argh, the machine swallowed my card the other day. The green bank were chronically disinterested in their stuff up and I too, am waiting, 5 forking working days because of their forking ineptitude.

Seriously hope your week gets better. Toodles.

[Jenty]

Oi hectic about the card skimming! It's getting more and more common by the sounds of it!
And as for kids... wait until they're 5!!

[Kimberly]

The people who won't buy online crack me up when they happily hand their credit cards off to restaurant servers, gasoline attendants & cashiers w/o a second though.

[Marcia Francois]

OH MY WORD - I don't even think TWICE about handing over my card details. I am SOOO interested in the behind-the-scenes story of how that happened. please share ...

LOL - sorry, I have to laugh at Kate. I would have FREAKED out.

[21stCenturyMom]

What this world is coming to is that your skimmer is one of a cast of thousands and thousands of asshole thieves and the bank's fraud department is fully booked dealing with the other 11ty billion of them just now. feh. Glad your bank was on the ball.

[Kirsty]

If it's any consolation, I'm currently waiting for a new card for my current account after I accidentally cut up the existing one. In my defence, the bank had sent me a new card, unfortunately it was a new card for my SAVINGS account, not my current account. Moral of the story: check the expiry date on your old card BEFORE you cut it up not after!

[Anna]

well, banks can't arrest people. But if you tell your story to the police they should do something about it...right??

[Orange]

Age 8 is the best age. 7 was okay, too, but 8 is better.

Let us not speak of ages 4, 5, and 6.

[Diana]

I don't know where you've been all my (bloggity) life, but good gawd you crack me up.

[Dani]

You sure have had a craptastic time with things lately. WTF? Did you suddenly come to own your own dark cloud, or something? Just think... It's GOT to get better from here, right? I'm rooting for easier days for you, over here.

As for their age/actions sucking.... It's ALL UP TO YOU to do the right things NOW. Trust me. It's kinda' like doing CIO again but the big difference is they're old enough to understand.

[Nicole]

LMAO at your post - I think your husband and mine must be friends. btw - how the hell did you know I was watching Star Wars????????

[Julia]

Sorry that you are going through all this crap. I just read a beautiful article featuring you (and Adam) with the SPD issues on iol just now. Thank you for trying to educate people on this.

[Tripsmom]

I agree, 3.5 sucks. My 3 girls DONT listen! I am forever shouting at them, I repeat myself 1 million times. They have an answer for EVERYTHING!!!! Spanking does not seem to help, threats don't help. To dress them and get them to eat breakfast is like asking shoving a garden rake up my arse, and then of course bed time is a repeat of breakfast. You have my sympathy.

[me]

You are on IOL today so the forces must be turning around. See http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=79&art_id=vn20080702061238741C569424

[Pia]

Oh, mine is EXACTLY the same about buying online... won't let his card out of his sight. Ever.

Me? sometimes I forget to put it back in my wallet. Then it floats around my bag. I end up thinking I've lost it. But, still, I trust enough not to cancel it... One day it's going to come back and bite me. Hard.

[Alicia]

Love this post! Sorry your cc got skimmed. I always say, if someone wanted to steal my identity, they wouldn't get very far with it!
I'm a nanny, and have worked w/ every age and personally, the age from 12 months to 15 months drives me INSANE! They're mobile, yet can't comprehend yet. So it doesn't matter if you say 'don't eat the dog food', they'll continue to go to the dog food and try to eat it!

[maddy]

Sorry about the credit card thing. That sucks.

Too funny about the Kate & the pin. Eek! (not funny...I meant).

I hate it when I have to take time to handle things like these when I am already busy with normal life. Sigh.

[Heather]

So sorry to hear about the credit card. A year and a half ago someone stole some of my checks and although I knew who did it they did not have security footage of them using the checks so they never charged them.

Even now, a year and a half later, I just got a letter from one of the collection agencies saying we think this check was stolen can you confirm it. Well of course it was stolen idiot. I sent you all of the information a year and a half ago. What did you do with it then?? (It's a good thing I don't throw anything away!!)

[Becky]

Hey, I think "may the force be with you" is pretty witty.
:) Becky
http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

[Wobs]

Möge die Macht mit dir sein!

[Nixgrim]

Oh T - you always make me laugh! Kate is just so funny. J does the same thing. I keep telling her she can't play with my phone because I don't want her calling Australia... now, before she picks up my phone, she always asks me "Can I call Australia? Can I, Mommy?" It's so cute, and I always laugh, which doesn't help when I then have to be firm and say no, and take the phone away from her.

But I would have been spitting fire if that had been me!

To be honest, if someone wants to steal your identity and skim money from you, he or she is going to. It's pointless getting paranoid about it.

And most people are honest, trustworthy people. It's the minority who give the rest of us a bad name!

[Bianca W]

Hey! I just remembered (because I am a sad loser).

You never told us about the Accomodation from Hell story.

[Rosie]

Yes. Olivia put a new security code into my cell 2 years ago. I now have a new phone.

[Kirstyphysio]

I managed to stop MY OWN CREDIT CARD!!! I was so quick to check some transactions with my online banking, that I phoned up the bank and ordered them to immediatly put a stop on my card, as some one had just spent money on my card in America. And clearly I am not in America! It was only after the card had been cancelled, that i realised that I had, in fact just shopped on line. In a shop in America!!! Aaaargh!! So - no one to blame for my 5 working days wait for a new forking card!!!( Which BTW did NOT take 5 forking days!! Feckers!! Took about 2 forking weeks!!)
As for the 3's - they're a breeze. Just wait for the Forking Fours, and then the Feckin Fives!!! I've become rather fond of the F word in this comment!!

[Jeanne]

Oh, if they bring back the death penalty it should be for credit card fraud!!! After a trip to SA in Feb, I got a call from our UK bank to ask (6 weeks after our return) whether we were in SA. I said no, he said, OK, we've cancelled your card due to 'suspicious transactions'. Okeydokey. A month later, the bank sends a letter asing if we have just spent (get this) R25,000 at a Pick n Pay hyper in Joburg. Good God, what do you even get at the Hyper for that? Have they started selling whole Wagyu cows??? We say no and point out that the card which was used was the one they cancelled a month ago, so how can that transaction ever have gone through?? Isn't that the point of the store connecting to the bank via phone to see if you have the funds and, erm, if the card is still valid? Aand then the interrogation starts. "when did you lose the card?" Ummm, we didn't - we kept it till you sent us a new one and then cut it up 3 weeks ago. "are you sure you didn't sign a blank credit card slip?" Ja right. "So I see you are South African - are you sure you didn't leave your card with your family to use later?" What planet do you thin I'm from, dude?? Hillbilly Central??

I was So angry because if this fraud had taken place in, say, France, they wudl never have suggested that it was my scuzzy family defraudung them. It's only because the fraud was in SA and we're from SA. Aaarrrrgh!

So they allowed a R25,000 transaction to go through on a card that THEY cancelled 3 weeks before... but they call because my Typepad subscription which has been coming off my account for 4 years and totals about R40 is "suspicious".

I feel your pain...