Apparently I am a monster, inappropriate, vulgar and a psycho

The fact that I did IVF is proof. "Their absolute selfishness is mind-boggling. Why would you kill scores and scores of babies just so you can have that token child that you want to show around so bad?"

But apparently it is not entirely my fault because I am African and like other people in Africa, "these people should be taught not to live like animals and sleep with everyone and everything that moves."

In my next life, I want to come back as good and kind and non-judgemental and Christian like, just like the lovely blogger ZSUZSANNA. I just know she is going to be rewarded in heaven one day.

Edited to add: Am not hurt or cross at all! It is so over the top, that I actually had to laugh.  I feel sorry for her too.  I suppose I should be the better person and not link to her blog.  If only I wasn't a person of such low moral character.  Tsk tsk.  Have I no shame!  I am going outside and shooting myself at dawn. It is the only way.

(for those who can't be bothered to click over to her site, read below for all the loving...)

Monday, July 7, 2008

Did I already mention that I hate IVF?

My sister-in-law sent me a news article today about doctors in Africa trying to perform in-vitro fertilization procedures for as little as $200. The article stated that the infertility rate in Africa is 30%, and that not having children is a great stigma. The reasons behind such a high rate of women who cannot have kids naturally are "unsafe deliveries, abortions or infections". This list is not necessarily given in order of frequency, in fact, my guess is that isn't.

"Infections" is a nice way to say that these women have been rendered infertile by the STDs that run rampant in Africa, diseases that would almost certainly be passed on to the babies created through IVF. Sure, I feel bad that people live in a country where they were probably infected by their own parents, but do we need to continue that cycle of disease through sponsored IVF procedures? Besides, maybe instead of handing out condoms like candy, these people should be taught not to live like animals and sleep with everyone and everything that moves. Statistics have proven over and over that distributing condoms RAISES the incidence of STDs. This is due to the fact that people will fornicate more because they feel safe, when condoms are only effective about 60% of the time because of product failure or incorrect use. In America, New York City has the most aggressive program to combat STDs, and they hand out more condoms than any other city. Yet their per-capita rate of STDs is the highest in the country.

The second reason given was "abortion". Why any humanitarian organization would pay a woman to have IVF who has previously aborted a baby is beyond me. Obviously, she doesn't love kids.

I won't even get started on the "unsafe deliveries" part. It means that deliveries in their hospitals are unsafe because of ancient, dangerous, and dirty equipment. Of course women would fare much safer to just have the baby at home on their own, like millions of women have throughout history. Delivering a baby in Africa is no more dangerous in and of itself than delivering a baby in America. It's the people who are attending the birth and interfering with it that are the danger. There are other factors like a lack of clean water and food that cause greater rates of infant mortality, but these factors don't permanently affect the mothers fertility.

Did you know that our government gives millions upon millions to organizations that supposedly bring humanitarian aid to Africa? Well, our taxes are paying for condoms, vaccines, abortions, and now IVF.

There are many reasons why I despise IVF, and cannot fathom how anyone that understands the procedure can do it with a clear conscience, especially Christians. Their absolute selfishness is mind-boggling. Why would you kill scores and scores of babies just so you can have that token child that you want to show around so bad? But these people will always go out of their way to tell you how humane the procedure really is, and how it's not as bad as people make it out to be.

Well, I stumbled across a blog by a previously "infertile" woman who in her "About Me" page details her IVF history. I would link to her blog to prove I am telling the truth, but I won't because I thought the woman was inappropriate, vulgar, and a psycho. So you'll just have to believe me that I didn't make it up, and all you IVF freaks out there can tell yourself I'm just lying. And I quote:

MY INFERTILITY HISTORY:

 

April 2000 – Got married, went off birth control pills
Nov 2000 – had a lap to check that insides were all ok
Jan 2001 – IUI#1 – negative
Feb 2001 – IUI#2 – negative
April 2001 – IUI#3 – negative
May 2001 – IVF#1 – cancelled, due to poor response
Sep 2001 – IVF#2 – 25 eggs, zero fert, rescue ICSI, negative
Jan 2002 – IVF#3 – 35 eggs, 34 embies, positive, but ectopic
Apr 2002 – IVF#4 – FET, negative
May 2002 – IVF#5 – FET, negative
Jun 2002 – IVF#6 – FET, negative
Nov 2002 – IVF#7 – 28 eggs, 24 embies, positive, vanishing twin, miscarriage at 8w3d, D&C
May 2003 – IVF#8 – 8 eggs, 4 embies, positive, quads, S/R to twins, lost one twin, Luke at 21w
Jan 2004 – Ben born prematurely at 26w, 4 Jan 2004, died 14 Jan 2004
Feb 2003 – lap and HSG
April 2004 – IVF#9 – 20 eggs, 18 embies, positive, twins
Jan 2005 - Adam and Kate born 7 Jan 2005
March 2007 - Surprise pregnancy!  That would be pregnancy number 5.  Not so much of a surprise miscarriage follows.
June 2007 - IVF#10 - FET, negative
April 2008 - Oh look! Another surprise pregnancy! Pregnancy #6! An equally unsurprising miscarriage follows soon thereafter. I really suck at this whole getting and staying pregnant thing.

 

Think I might give it up as a bad job.

Since the woman is 39, it means she was 31 when she got married, and had probably been on hormonal birth control for at least 10 years. Nevertheless, she gets checked out after just 7 months of marriage to see why she "can't" get pregnant, and starts artificial you-know-what after just 9 months of marriage. All three attempts are unsuccessful, so she switches to IVF, which she undergoes a total of 10 times. In all, 116 eggs are harvested in the 5 "successful" IVF procedures, with a total of 80 embryos conceived. For all that, the woman now has 2 living children. In addition, a third baby was lost after being born prematurely at 26 weeks. I wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that this particular pregnancy started out with 4 babies, 2 of which they killed in order to increase the chances of the other two living. One of the remaining two babies died in utero at 21 weeks, the other is the one who was born prematurely and died (see points May 2003 and Jan 2004 above).

And, what a shock, in spite of being a walking hormonal cocktail from years of IVF, this woman was able to naturally conceive at age 38 and again at 39, both of which times she miscarried. Don't you just feel so bad for her? I mean, after all, she has already killed 76 babies, and had 2 more die prematurely.

I think "monster" describes this woman very well, as it does any other woman who would knowingly kill their offspring because they just have to have a baby so bad. After all, it's just like in Africa, where not having babies makes you a social outcast. If it means having to kill a few unborn babies for your peers to like you, then so be it, right?

Comments

[Skippy]

Why wait for heaven - I have a feeling she'll be rewarded with a lovely collection of comments right here on earth.

[goodsandwich]

I know you have a thicker skin than to be too worried by a post like that, even though it is so unkind and you really are sensitive. My heart hurts that someone would attack a person they don't know in such a hateful manner -- I am sorry you are the target. My heart hurts a little for her too, that she is filled with such hate and anger. I just don't know what to say.

[Em]

Wow. I don't know what to say. I know things are about to get really ugly over here so I'm just going to feel sorry for this person for #1 the hate in her heart #2 the fact that she has no idea how lucky she is #3 her obvious confusion, lack of knowlege and ability to form an entire hurtful, hateful monologue based upon them.

God, the things she said hurt my feelings and I am not IF. So wrong.

I'm just going to try to be opposite. I'm going to try to have compassion for this person while still believing that she is so totally totally wrong. What she could have done for you.

[Meg]

Wow.

I wonder what she'd be saying if she wasn't popping out babies left and right and perhaps had the tiniest inkling of what the hell she's talking about instead.

I hope you aren't taking this asshat too seriously, Tertia. This lady is wrong on so many, many levels

[mel]

I find people like that incredibly scary. And the idea that she has produced/is producing at least 5 children who she has a strong influence over is even more scary. Really depressing.

[Type (little) a]

Tersh,

If I may state the obvious for a moment: What this woman said about you is NOT TRUE. You are not a monster and you DID NOT kill 76 babies. I know that you know this, but I also know how I let bad feedback hurt me, so I think you need to hear, loud and clear (it rhymes!) that this idiot is the one in the wrong not you.

Love you.

Michele

[zeghsy]

i'd comment on her post ON HER SITE, except i can't think of anything to say. and how does one articulate vomiting in blog format?

i'm sorry she thinks you're a monster. imo, she's a thing that goes bump in the night. (pregnant with her 5th, obviously bumps often.)

[marni]

wow - she needs to have a shot of Vodka with her Hatorade.

Judge not.... guess she missed that Sunday school lesson.

[G]

Holy smokes! That woman is just batshit crazy!

It really seems like it takes a lot of effort and work to be that mean and nasty. She makes me glad to be an atheist.

Just blow off her comments. She has no clue what she is talking about.

Hugs & Smooches

[electriclady]

Where to begin? The judgmental attitude, the unbelievable racism, the total misinformation...it's sad that people think like this. (Oh, and re:"unsafe deliveries," an obstetric fistula, I would imagine, sure as hell affects fertility.)

[Lila]

A monster, inappropriate, vulgar and a psycho? Huh???? Reading her post, these words seem much more appropriate for someone else...

I'm glad you laugh about it. There is really nothing else to do with a poor intellectual and emotional microbe(no insult to microbes intended!).

[Lila]

PS: She reminds me of the "helmets????" garbage you had here once. The same type of idiot. She must be frantically deleting comments :-P

[Chris]

Type this on her blog page, not sure whether she will publish this or not, but hey, at least you know how I feel :-)

"My name is Chris and I happen to be a very good friend of the lady involved. Being a Christian I was taught from a very early age not to judge others, and to reap what you sow, etc. You have no idea what she is all about, neither have you any idea of the joy, heartache and pain she has endured. She writes what we consider in South Africa to be a very witty tongue and cheek blog with most commentary taken with a glass of wine and a pinch of salt. She writes about her experiences, joys and pain, and best of all, she does not sit behind her laptop judging others, especially those she has never met or for that matter, are sitting 8000miles away on another continent.

I for one consider her to be more of a Christian that others, mainly because she practices what she preaches, is absolutely upfront about everything and has a heart of gold.

Being a Christian myself I will not sit here and judge you for your harsh words. However I will say that any child conceived, whether it be natural or through modern day practices, all count as miracles of God. She had to endure more pain than yourself who had the gift of natural conception and child birth. You were not around when God took her first souls, neither are you there to enjoy her two miracles playing at home today.

I would suggest you use your blog for something more constructive than what you are doing now. Here is hoping you take this to heart and you wake up tomorrow morning with a more positive view on all your neighbours.

Regards

PS, I do hope you publish this, since America is all about free speech and all"

[Lisa]

Wow, that woman is sick! I just left a comment on her blog but since she moderates her comments to probably only present one point of view, I doubt it will be published. She proclaims to be Christian, but, sorry, what she wrote is decidedly un-Christian.

[KLynn]

OOOh. That gets me so steamed up that I'm hardly coherent. That bizatch is not just ignorant, she's intentionally narrow minded and hateful. Like my daddy used to say, ignorance is curable, stupidity is terminal. And oh, does she have a terminal case.

Tertia, don't forget that 99% of the people that read your blog understand that she is/was wrong on so many levels. Much love and support to and for you, Tertia, from my little corner of the U.S.

[JuliaKB]

Not going over there. I think my BP is already through the roof just reading this here dribble. Funny how all her "facts" are wrong. I think I can pretty much guess where she gets them from. My favorite? That our tax dollars are paying for abortions. Hahahahaha. The very first thing our twit of a president signed upon taking office was a GAG ORDER. Our tax dollars can't even go to charities that council women in a way that may result in them having an abortion. To the detriment of health of tens if not hundreds of thousands of women.
Also? Does she know how many "babies" she killed? You know-- her body, her G-d? Cause if only about 50% of embryos implant, she did off about 5 herself, and if all her sex is unprotected, probably more.
Ok, need to back away from the computer. Slowly...

Sorry, T, that this twit has chosen you and the memory of your pain and your heartbreak for this crass display of ignorance and cruelty. I am really sorry.

[Stephanie]

I am so mad I don't even know what to say. It took every bit of self control I had not to leave a comment on her blog. I could have really gone off on her, but I doubt it would change her way of thinking.

[Orange]

I left her a comment, but she's got moderation turned on so I'm pretty confident my comment won't appear on her blog.

I did give her a link to background information from the Fistula Hospital folks, explaining that "unsafe deliveries" are often the home births she praises. I challenge her to safely deliver a breech baby by herself at home, with no access to a skilled midwife or nearby hospital.

Zsuzsanna's so full of shit! And of course she's home-schooling her kids, because heaven forbid they learn, you know, science or different perspectives.

Holy crap, she's an idiot. STDs are passed down to babies through IVF? Wow. I've NEVER heard of that happening, not once.

And she says "obviously she doesn't love kids" about any woman who's ever had an abortion? Again, I call bullshit. A friend of mine terminated at around 18 weeks, after an ultrasound showed anatomical defects inconsistent with life. She loves her son and wants another child, and her goal was to preserve her reproductive health so that she could try again.

I feel I must point out that Zsuzsanna has been "killing babies" too. A fairly high percentage of fertilized eggs don't implant, and are shed in menstruation without the woman ever knowing the egg had been fertilized. If she's never used birth control, she's probably killed more "babies" this way than the average woman who uses birth control!

[Anon]

I just flagged her blog as objectionable, because really, doesn't racism and hate mongering content qualify?

[Orange]

(Cross-posted with JuliaKB, who made the same point about Zsuzsanna's rampant baby-killing!)

[Bethy]

At least she's ugly. You can look in the mirror and see a wonderful G&D human being, she sees a monster, inside and out.

[Auburn]

I just love that she thinks Africa is a country. Priceless.

[B]

That is so unbelievably ignorant I can't even think of anything to say. These kinds of people embarrass me. I really hope other countries don't think Americans are all so rude and assholish.

Where are her sources? Anything you pull out of your ass is not a source.

[Auburn]

I just love that she thinks Africa is a country. Priceless.

[KES]

I'm delurking just to say this --
I hope that you don't think all Christians think of you this way, Tertia. I've been reading for a while, and I've read all the archives from your pregnancy with Adam and Kate, and I don't think you're a monster at all. I don't agree with you on everything, but I admire and respect the love you had for all of your children, even before they were born, that you would go through such a trial to hold them in your arms. It's just mindboggling to me that from what I can see on her blog, this woman and I have the same background and such different perspectives on who you are. Please let people like me and your sister show you what Christianity is really like, and don't listen to people like that.