Happy You Day

Although for lots of women today is a celebratory day, there are many women for whom today is at best annoying and at worst, an extremely painful reminder of what they so long for and don’t yet have.

So, in honour of those women, and everyone else, I would like to wish a Happy You Day:

To all the mothers out there: Well done and congratulations for making it through another year without killing your husband or beating your children. You deserve a day at the spa and a bottle of really good wine.

To all the infertiles: Today is a super crap day, I know. Go and do something completely decadent and self indulgent, have a glass of champagne, celebrate your gorgeousness and avoid restaurants, malls and church services like the plague. 

To our wonderful Nurture egg donors: On behalf of all our recipients, thank you to each one of you for this wonderful thing you are doing, you are very special young women indeed

To all the Childless By Choice: Sleep in late, do something spontaneous and book your next fuss free holiday. Like my best friend Mel, I think you might be on to something the rest of us haven’t yet figured out.  

To the women who haven’t even thought about whether they want to be mothers or not: Please see above to guide your decision

To any and all other woman not covered by the list above: Sending you big smooches (no hugs) and lots of love, I hope you have a wonderful You Day.

Comments

[Boulder]

Thanks for doing what even the people who invent holidays for profit haven't managed. Women come in all types, and it is nice to feel & know that we ALL matter.

xoxo

[Kimberly]

Thank you and happy YOU day to you too!

[Cat]

Thank you so much for the post. As a woman of the second category, I've already been crying, and my morning just started. But this does help. I'm going to take your advice. Happy You Day!

[Raggedy Ann]

I'm not a mother's day fan for the following reasons: http://infertile-raggedyann.blogspot.com/2008/05/great-expectations-on-mothers-day.html

[Maria]

Thanks and a Happy You Day to you too.

But don't forget to add to the list: Honor your own mothers, or do something to honor their memories. It doesn't all have to be about us :o)

[kirstyphysio]

Happy You Day. I second what Maria says - lets all remember OUR mothers. Fathers Day always pinches a bit with me - not because of infertility, but because I don't have a Dad to give a card too, or a book, or a tie or socks ... or any boring dad -type gift! :(

[Lindsay]

Thank you, T and same to you! I so remember the pain of this day, so to all the infertiles, I'm thinking of you and I know that nothing makes it's better. To all with infertile friends, do something to honour them and make them feel special- it's a crap day!!

[Janet]

In your usual kind and giving way you have managed to make me feel good about this day, when it had the potential for being otherwise. Being a member of the fourth category, I never considered this my day, but always took great pleasure in honoring the Mothers in my life (i.e., Mom, Grandmoms, Mother-in-Law, and Step-Mother-in-Law. Sadly, this is the first year where all of my Mothers are no longer here. Thanks for including and remembering us all, regardless of our circumstances or individual choices, and happy You Day to you, dear T.

[Rosemary Grace]

Today my Mum said "thanks for making me a mother", I'm the second child, apparently she got funny looks and snarky comments about only having one...she had two miscarriages between my sister and me, I guess I feel a connection to infertility blogs because of my mother's story of secondary infertility.

[D]

You always have the right thing to say. (people who say otherwise are obviously wrong and not G&D)

I'm very thankful to have the best mom in the world who knows how hard this day was for her for over 14 years of trying & failed pregnancy's and a baby who never got to be taken home. She know how it feels, just like you do. It's bittersweet. I'm her only child, I feel so lucky. Not only that, but she lost her mom as a child. I don't think anyone is more deserving of this day than her. She is why I make it through this day every year.

Thanks as always T!

[Andrea]

Well, I have to disagree with avoiding church, and here's why...

Today, my lovely family scampered into our pew (we are quite large and fill the whole thing - sometimes more!) to enjoy the Mother's Day sermon. The pastor asked everyone to crowd around mothers, mothers-to-be and those wishing to be mothers in prayer. I felt so comforted he included those desiring to be mothers in that special prayer.

As we bowed our heads, my mom - a mother to two biological children, several step children and three foster children - noticed a woman sitting by herself. Her and her husband have struggled to conceive, circumstances somewhat similar to what my own husband and I have encountered over the years. One of my sisters, a mere 15 years old, then also noticed this and promptly slipped out of our pew, walked up the main church aisle, sat down, hugged this woman and prayed with her. The tears flowed.

It made that service even more beautiful than it already was.

[Shamelessly Sassy]

Happy Mother's day!

[Kim]

I'm in the other category - I'm not infertile, I am just waiting...waiting to get married, waiting to find the husband so I can even try to have the kids. SO on that note, this mother's day kind of sucked more than others. BUT I was thankful for my mom. SO thankful.

Happy YOU day to you too. ;)

[Laura in L.A.]

Thanks, T. This was a particularly crap Mother's Day-- had DE m/c #3 in January, AND it was the 2-year-anniversary of my emergency D&C for DE m/c #2. My younger fertile sister is a happy clapper like sister Mel, and she insisted we all go to church before brunch. Babies, babies, and baby-bellies everywhere! I took the opportunity during services to privately list my grievances to God. And there were many. Yes, I am thankful for my dear Mom. But gee whiz!

Love to you and your beautiful family.

Love, Laura XOXOXO