Foot wrinkles

 I was chatting to Sister Mel on the weekend and we were talking about getting older. Aging, to be more precise. Sister Mel was saying that she wondered at what age / stage do you get to the point where you view the signs of your physical aging as matter of fact rather than with a tinge (or sometimes ‘wave’) of regret.

I said to Sister Mel that I think I am getting there. I am not quite there yet (where the fark did that middle aged spread come from??  Get thee away from me, you evil incarnate!), but I am getting there.  I look at my ageing hands and feet with almost wondrous disbelief. I can’t believe these are my feet. 

You know how when you are younger and you bend your ankle, the skin on your foot squishes up and then when you straighten your foot again, the skin all snaps back into shape without a line or a wrinkle? Well the skin on my foot is starting to look permanently squished. I have foot wrinkles. 

Ageing is a bitch. I don’t like getting older, I don’t like getting squishier, but I am starting to accept that it is inevitable and I might as well get used to it. It doesn’t mean I am going to start wearing oversized floral polyester blouses, but it does mean that I am going to think ‘so bloody what if my waistline is a bit thicker, I am almost bloody 40 you know’. 

I don’t want to be a frumpy middle-aged hausfrau, but even as much as I admire the woman, I can’t see myself working as hard as someone like Madonna does as I get older. I’d rather be a little squishy and have that glass of wine (or two), than be super toned and fabulously fit but living on bean sprouts and watercress.

So the answer to Mel’s question seems to be 39,5 years old. Or there about.

When you see the physical signs of ageing on your body, how do you feel? Would you rather be more hausfrau than Madonna, or are you going to fight the foot wrinkles for as long as you can? And don’t give me the politically correct answer; tell me what you really think. 

(As I had my foot in my sister's face, pointing out my foot wrinkles, my father came past and said that he has no idea what we are talking about as he has perfectly lovely youthful feet.  Thank god the man's eyesight isn't what it used to be because if I have wrinkles, the man has crevices the size of the Grand Canyon. I'm just saying.)
 

Comments

[Em]

I'll tell you something. I go to Weight Watchers now (you must have something similar in SA. I call it fat school. You go to a class where they weigh you and tell you to stop putting french fries in your mouth and you will stop looking like a pig. Then you pay them. Its a little more polished than that but you get the idea). Anyway, at Weight Watchers I see women who are in their 60's, 70's even 80's and I think to myself, no f-ing way. When I am 70, I plan on getting as fat as I get, not worrying about it. Any kind of deprivation has no place in my old age plans.

[Sue at eLuckypacket]

Yes, I think 39.5 is exactly right. Signed, Just a Few Months Past Forty.

[Andrea]

My 70-something Mom swears it really doesn't happen til your late 50's, "But you think it happens earlier." In other words, a line here and there don't really change your overall look for a long time."
I am in my early 40s now and the thing I find interesting about aging, is how I noticed the signs and worried about it at every age, going back to like, 20. I distinctly remember at 26 and then again at 31 thinking I had aged a lot. (This from someone who is quite young looking).
So, I don't know the answer to your question, but I don't think we ever really accept it fully. We accept certain thinks that would have horrified us a few years back, but we fight new things.
When you are in your 70s apparently the sign of aging you fight is shrinking! (puts a few lines in perspective, eh?_

[Eliza]

I exfoliate, use eye cream, moisturize and SPF-20 every day, etc. but I don't think I'll be doing any surgery, botox, etc. I have had so many invasive medical procedures and have such poor healing ability that it just wouldn't be worth it. I think I stopped caring about little things like the beginning of crows' feet or a few gray hairs after I had a chunk of MRSA the size of a NY Strip Steak carved out of my groin...now anything that doesn't require IV Vancomycin or leave a dent the size of my thumb in my funzone is kind of a big "so what," y'know? Recently I dyed my hair back to its natural color and I'm really liking it, gray and all. I think being really ill, having lots of surgeries that leave scars, etc. puts things in perspective in a way that I wouldn't wish on anybody else, but it's working for me.

[Roberta]

That 39.5 is no coincidence. That's when we start needing glasses to see close up - nature designed us to NOT BE ABLE TO SEE THE DECAY!! The rule in my bedroom? "No glasses allowed!" Consequently, my husband thinks I'm gorgeous.

But even if he knew the truth, I really don't care. I'm almost 50, graying hair, boobs somewhere around my knees, and my jowls have jowls.

Curiously, though, no foot wrinkles! Wanna trade? Jowls for foot wrinkles?

[Dani]

This is a timely subject for me. I find myself looking at my hands lately and thinking, "WTF? Whose hands ARE those?? Surely those alligator-y looking things can't be mine!"

I'm definitely not aging gracefully. I intend to fight it off like a rabid dog. I'm just not sure what my weapon of choice will be, yet.

[21stCenturyMom]

I feel totally robbed. I am 40 thirteen and everything on me looks a little past due. My response - I'm training for a half ironman triathlon - HA!

[Jessica]

I know that this is a very personal topic for many women, and I can't tell anyone else how they should feel about their uniquely aging bodies or that the way they've acted is right or wrong. And OK, maybe I'm not qualified to respond about myself since I'm only 24. BUT! I have a wonderful mother who is 59 and I am surrounded by images and messages about aging every single day, so I think I'm semi-qualified to say something, which is this:

Every day I am incensed by the fact that women are not allowed to age (past about age 19, I believe), gain weight, get wrinkly or go gray. And I can see with a certainty that if people weren't making OBSCENE amounts of money off making women feel bad about aging, they wouldn't bother antagonizing us all the time. We would still age, but it wouldn't feel so bad - and it might even have some dignity.

I can buy a product for every conceivable perceived "flaw" - and many I didn't even know I have. But if I decide that I am great the way I am and that I will be acceptable even when I get older - in short, that I will not be in constant need of fixing up, concealing, dying, whitening, etc. - no one profits from that at all. But there are some people who BENEFIT: namely, me. I benefit from spending the time I could be wasting agonizing over my every fatty dimple and facial crease thinking about something more interesting. I benefit from saving the money I could spend on creams and lasers and instead spending it to go on holiday somewhere nice. I benefit from from feeling good, instead of bad all the time. My partner benefits from having someone around who is self-confident, engaging and challenging - and that is sexy. Women around me benefit because they see that not dying your hair can be normal too.

That's what I would hope for myself, anyway - now and when I get older. Time is so easily wasted feeling as though you're not good enough and when I am very old I hope I will be glad that I spent my life (and my money) on other things.

[Sara]

I'm too lazy to fight it. I'd like to claim that I'm like Jessica (above) and it's a philosophical position, but honestly, I just can't be bothered. 39.5 here too.

[Molly]

Tertia--this is gonna sound crazy, but I was walking around in flip-flop shoes today and was looking at my toes and noticing how old my feet looked. It's like my body is 32 and my feet are 58. Ack.

[Brainy girl]

Yup - 39.5 exactly here. Well, that's how old I am now, anyway, and I really couldn't care less about signs of aging - mainly the lines on my face at this point. But I guess I never really did care, couldn't be bothered to spend the time or money on anti-aging crap. Never even washed my face with anything but plain old soap my whole life - and usually in the morning, after sleeping in makeup all night (I know - yuck!). Never bought any sort of lotions or potions designed to make me look "younger" - I seriously doubt if any of them work, but also, what's the point? I've lived my 39.5 years, what am I trying to hide? That's how I think. Or maybe I'm just too damn lazy. Not that I don't want to or try to look decent, but I don't give any thought at all to trying to look "younger."

[Diana]

The sun spots are what get me. I'm 35 and can deal with the leathery looking skin (I live in a dry state), the lines wherever they appear, the extra few pounds. . . because that's what everyone goes through. It's the very dark spots on my face that I can't stand and am trying to fight. I think, if they are this bad now, how will they be when I'm actually 40? I don't see anyone my age with them as bad as mine.

So, thanks for the discussion. At least I know I'm not alone in thinking about it :)

[Judy]

Tertia, I'm 39.5, I have the gray hair, the crow's feet around the eyes, the aging hands and feet, and I love every minute of it. Do I WANT to be 25 again? Not really. I like me and I like who I am...wrinkles and all.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am the QUEEN of moisturizer hand lotion and some goop from Avon that I put around my eyes, but other than that, I just accept the way I am. 39.5 full years - I should have a few battle scars by now!

[Janine]

Sigh. The politically correct answer is that I just don't care about the spread or the foot wrinkles. The honest answer: If I could afford it, I'd nip it, tuck it, liposuction it, .....

[familyvalue]

Thank you for posting! I love reading 'down to earth' posts. I was devasted when part of my back tooth fell out the other day! I was absolutely horrified and had visions of all my teeth falling out!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeek! I'm only 33. Too young for 'falsies'! It was a wake-up call. I'm off to the dentist to counteract the aging. As for 'foot wrinkles', I'm fine with those!

[Nicole]

If wishing could make my body just so - perky, fit, & perfectly G&D - than I'd be all over it. However, the effort part of reality is usually where I get lost. Sadly keeping myself in tip-top condition is not very high on my priority list. In fact, I've just started to notice grey hairs popping up here and there and truthfully I'm a little hopeful; I used to be have fabulous sun-lightened hair in my youth which has gradually become darker and DARKER. I'm kind of hoping the grey might add a lighter and more distinguished look - maybe a bit more character. Because the truth is I just can't commit to maintaining an artificial hair color.

[Coral]

I started to age at 40 - so you have it right there. I think to myself that I can only do so much, and have always moisturised etc.

Another thought is what is the alternative to aging? Death!! Choices, choices!!

[kirstyphysio]

The fact that you seem accepting of the aging process at about age 40 is no coincedence! If we were still cavemen running around, age 40 would be about the time that we died! Personally, from a physio point of view, I also view age 40 as the benchmark for age related problems! The human skeleton was only designed to hold us upright for 40 years - however due to modern medicine, life expectancy has increased, which has made way for modern illnesses such as arthritis! So - add arthritis to your list of aging woes! EVERYONE over the age of 40, will show some form of arthritis on x - ray. It may not be symptomatic, but trust me, it's there! Oh Joy!! xx

[Tripsmom]

I'm 41 this year and have decided not to colour my hair anymore - my hairdresser says I am 75% grey, and very brave. I have decided not to fight the greying process and fortunately I have the support of my husband (who is 5 years my junior). I will still fighty the middle age spread and frumpy clothing. I believe you can be "hip" and grey - hope this is true.

[Bianca W]

Tripsmom - WELL DONE!! My mom is doing exactly the same thing (although is is quite a bit older) and I LOVE her "silver" hair. She has it cut in a beautiful style, she is always well groomed, wears lovely clothes and make-up. For all her 55 years or so, I think she looks fantastic.

I am only 32 and can ALREADY see signs of aging - although I have exceptionally dry skin, so I always knew it would be so. Even so, its muck!!

[FiOnion]

A friend of mine who just turned 42 says that she's on her second round of being 21. ;0
And that saying "youth is wasted on the young"? Damn right! Imagine having a 44-year-old's experience but being in a 19-year-old's body? Haha, a recipe for hedonism and anarchy if ever I saw one.
I dye my hair now simply because I now love the colour I was born with. I hate the idea of losing that red, although I didn't like it as a kid. But getting onto the subject of feet... it's not my feet that are ageing, it's my hands! In fact my hands have been old since I was a kid. I was born with old hands. Going to a beautician and getting a pedicure, I wll be asked why I am not having a manicure. That's when I hold out the hands and ask if they can "fix that??"!! General reply is "um, yes, right..." Although maybe if they've been like this all my life they will look young when I get to 70?

[Ute]

Luckily, my body as such seems to age slowly and gets back in shape easily whenever it's been subjected to some strain like pregnancies, sickness etc. I always quickly fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans again, for instance. The few signs of ageing that I do have (tiny wrinkles around my eyes, older hands, more and more grey hair) don't bother me at all. (Even though I discovered my very first grey hair at 26.) That's just the way it is. As long as I feel healthy, I really couldn't care less. I turned 39 in April, b.t.w.

[Simone]

What I find really annoying is that I (34 y.o) have more facial lines than my husband, who is not only older than I am, but has never used any creams or lotions on his skin. Ever. That said, he did grow up in the U.K, whilst yours truly is a born and bred Aussie. Come to think of it, if premature wrinkles are the price to be paid for a life spent in the sun, it's definitely a price I'm willing to pay! Not that I had any choice in the matter, but still...
Love your blog, Tertia.

[Wobs]

My mind says I want to be hard and lean and fit and sexy like Madonna but the reality is that I'm a soft and squishy hausfrau.... Not fair!!!

[Wyliekat]

Sister, I have white hairs in my crotch. If I can survive that and still think of myself as a sexual being, I can survive anything.

I won't say that I was fine with it. I wasn't. But what the hell am I going to do? I'm not the girl who dyes her crotch hair, and I'm not a shave down to flesh girl, either. So I live with it or I bemoan it and then live with it. What's the point of the middle step?