Dirty Little Secrets

MotherTalk Book Review:  "Dirty Little Secrets by Otherwise Perfect Moms"  Trishia Ashworth and Amy Nobile

"While Tricia Ashworth and Amy Nobile were researching their earlier book, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, the dirty little secrets started pouring out: the woman who admitted to sneaking cigarettes with her husband in the minivan while the kids watched movies inside the house to the mother who had her children wear their school clothes to bed each night. Hence the creation of this small, sinful read–Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms–that will make you feel good about your parenting skills when you’re having one of those days."

Do you know about the site called Post Secret?  One of the most amazing reads.  I read that site with my hands covering my eyes, peeping through my fingers.  Some of the 'secrets' are really funny, others are quite scandalous, and some are really, really sad.

"Dirty Little Secrets" is like Post Secret, for moms.  The books is a collection of 'secrets' written by moms.  Some of the secrets were really funny, some of them reminded me of myself ("My kids yell because I yell at them"), but the book left me with an underlying sense of sadness.  Because despite its claim to make you feel less alone if you sometimes feel like the 'less than perfect mom', the fact that some of these were considered 'dirty secrets' made me sad.  To me, it just highlights how pervasive the myth of 'perfect parenting' is.

The book is meant to be an entertaining read, a lighthearted look at our various mothering imperfections, but perhaps I am just not in the right head space to appreciate it for what it is meant to be.  I just wish that these didn't have to be 'dirty little secrets' at all, I wish they could just be called 'life'.

So, what's my secret?  Well, considering my penchant for circumspection, there aren't many of my 'secrets' that you don't already know.  Yes, my kids still drink their formula(!) in bottles(!) and still suck on their dummies(!)  But that doesn't worry me at all.  Oh! I do have a secret I haven't told you.  I cut the crusts off my kids sandwiches. Always.  But even that is not so bad.  I cut the crusts off my own bread and look how well I turned out!  I guess my dirty little secret is that I am a yeller, and I am not very proud about that at all. But I never did claim to be anywhere close to being the Perfect Mom.  My dirty little secrets aren't really secrets at all, they are just part of who I am.

But, on a lighter note, it is on the whole, a very lighthearted, entertaining read.  Mother Talk Inc are running a contest inviting readers to enter their 'dirty little secret' and win an Amazon gift voucher.  Read more about it here.

More info on the book here.  Buy the book here.

Comments

[Adi]

I think the pretence of perfect mother-being has done a lot of harm... hallelujah for honesty! We need more of that. Don't be sad. Be proud. Those "perfect" moms need to be bitchslapped until they tell the truth!

[Rosie]

Oh yeah, I'm a yeller too. I hate that I do it, and I hate when I hear myself reflected in my children. I also lie about the treats being gone so I don't have to share them with the kids.

[Kelly]

Our group of friends has a motto, No Perfect People Allowed. It was such a relief to not have to put up a front. Friendship used to require such an effort on my part, so much of an effort it wasn't worth it ands hubs and I because loners. It took years to find a group of couples that shared our views. I

When I think of all that time I wasted being phony surrounded by other fakers, it makes me sad.

[Nicole]

My Dirty Little Secret...my kids are underweight because I am overweight. I don't want them to be fat. Not because I am vain, but becuase I know how cruel this world is to overweight people.

[Jess]

You MUST check out http://www.truemomconfessions.com/

but plan ahead, you will be reading for HOURS....

[bec (and Charlotte)]

I hate crusts too, always cut them off. Complete waste of chewing time as far as I am concerned.

[Kelli Hansen]

My twins are younger than yours (two and 3 months) but they also still drink from bottles. But I don't care. They won't drink milk if I don't let them, so I just figure oh well. They'll grow out of it eventually! I agree, though, about "dirty little secrets". It really is just called life, plain and simple. Our differnces in parenting, even the things that aren't our brightest moments, are what make us unique, and what make our kids unique.

Plus, there's no proof that perfect parents would equal perfect kids, right?

[Cecily]

This damn book and all the reviews is what made me write my post about being a yeller:

http://www.uppercasewoman.com/wastedbirthcontrol/2008/04/one-of-those-an.html

For some reason, I find myself wanting to hear you yell in your South African accent. Because somehow the accent will make it sound so decent. LOL.

[Brenda]

Nevermind, I was a kid raised on crustless bread and I not only survived but turned out pretty well. When it comes to yelling, that doesn't do so much harm. In other cultures, like Africa. It's quite common to yell at its hands, even slap them lightly on the bottom, but they turn out well -- because live also yells at you when you grow up. And it's good to learn how to deal with yelling when you are still a child, because it makes it much easier when you're an adult.
Great review thought!