Confessions of a cheater

(Still having a fabulous time on holiday, missing you all madly. Here is a cross post from my Times column, true story. BTW, I have photographic evidence of the terrible results of my unfortunate dalliance, which is ALL YOUR FAULT!!  Pictures below)
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It was a crazy thing to do, stupid. To throw away all those years we had together to chase something new, something different. It wasn’t as if I was unhappy, far from it. It’s just that, well, things had got a little boring, a little ordinary. The same conversations, the same routine. I missed the thrill of the beginning. 

I don’t what I was thinking, how I imagined I wouldn’t be found out. A friend of a friend put us in touch, she thought we’d get on like a house on fire, she was right. Too right. 

It was awkward at first as I took my clothes off and lay down. The room was cold, too cold. I shivered a little, perhaps more from apprehension than from the chill. Everything felt different, smelt different. There was a CD playing in the background, a song I didn’t recognize. Even the music felt strange. 

I’ll just do it this once, no one would have to know, I thought. But the truth always comes out, doesn’t it. God, I feel terrible. Things will never be the same again; there will always be this feeling of mistrust, of betrayal. 

It wasn’t even that great, that’s the worst of it. It was ok, not bad, but not what I know.

All I can hope for is forgiveness. I am not sure whether I can ever forgive myself. I’ve learnt my lesson though, I will never stray again. No one else will ever tint my brows or wax my bikini again. I hope my beautician forgives me.

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Ok, you see this:

See how swollen my eyes are!

That is YOUR FAULT!  You mocked my bushy brows, my usual beauty therapist / beautician person was away and so I went to someone new.  And see what happened!!!  The scabs are busy flaking off now. Not sure how long the scars will remain. Ha! Hope you feel bad now.

PS The fat lady has sung.  Feels good and final. Later dudes. xxx

Comments

[Orange]

Tertia, are there any South Asian or Middle Eastern brow-threaders in your area? I scab from eyebrow waxing too and have sworn never to do it again. Threading isn't exactly fun—when is yanking out hairs en masse ever fun?—but no hot, sticky goop is applied to your skin. It's more like tweezing on steroids, and easier on sensitive skin.

[Isabel]

Oh my goodness - can you rather stay away from doing all those things? Tell the internets to go play on the highway (in the fast lane) next time someone comments on your brows/hair/face/house/whatEVER and don't put yourself through so much pain! ;-)

[Boulder]

I'm sorry the bitch sang, but I'm glad you have your resolution.

And your family, and a holiday.

xoxo

[Melissa]

Fat lady?

[Summer]

Oh, you poor thing, Tertia! I've had the same injury from a careless waxer who slopped wax practically down to my eyelashes. You do have a pair of really big, glamorous sunglasses, right?

As for your PS... damn. I was really hoping for a come-from-behind victory. I'm so sorry.

[Amy]

Good heavens! If she did that to your brows, I don't even want to imagine what she must have done to your "bikini area" (not that I spend a lot of time imagining your bikini, of course).

Yikes. Hope you have some nice, soothing lotion of some kind to put on that.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

[Flicka]

Ouch!! Cheaters never prosper...a hard lesson to learn, especially in the eyebrow department.

Glad the resolution feels good, sorry that it had to be this way. Take good care of yourself, okay?

xxx
(am adopting SA kissing philosophy)

[Kim]

Wow, I never knew that could happen. I think I had a bruise the size of a football between my legs after my first bikini wax. Isn't that perfect for vacation, having what looks like a giant purple/black birthmark protruding from your swimsuit.

[Jenty]

Youch!! That looks painful!!

[Keri]

I second Orange's suggestion on using the threading method to keep your eyebrows trimmed. It's a very simple procedure which takes just a few minutes and doesn't hurt as much as waxing. Since threading is very common in India, you may have to inquire within Indian communities in your area.

[kristylynne]

Ouch. On both the eyebrows and the fat lady. But glad that it is resolved and you are on holiday! Yipee!

I learned the hard way that one should not wax one's eyebrows while using Retin-A cream. Apparently Retin-A makes your skin fragile, even if you don't apply it to your eyebrow area (who knew?), and your skin will rip clean off along with the wax. I actually have a scar on my left eyebrow because of that. Gah.

[One of Two Mommies]

Damn, I thought we were getting pictures of the bikini wax!

[Dani]

Well that just sucks. If I were there I'd give you a cold compress and try very hard not to say, "I told you so."

My eyebrow lady was on leave after brain surgery to remove a tumor and I wouldn't go see anyone else. For a YEAR!!!

Now THAT'S loyalty, for ya'.

xoxo

[Madame Tussard]

It seems that the wax was too hot! Plus it was the first time for your eyebrows. By now without the swelling and scabs you are even more G&D and the next time it won't be so bad. I am sure you are looking like one hot mama.

It is also usually much more painful/sensitive when waxing/threading in the second half of one's cycle. It gets worse the closer to a period one is. The first two weeks (or before ovulation) is the best time to schedule waxes and threading etc.

[minni]

Ouch. I'm so sorry you went through this. A wee suggestion - apply vitamin e oil to heal the skin. it will also help prevent scarring. a small bottle of vitamin e oil will go a loooong way.

[Bianca W]

I am SO sorry. I was really hoping........hope you are okay.

[Wobs]

Hang in there, Mrs A. No pain, no gain....

[Chicago]

Dear Tertia (adopting the SA way, which used to be the way here, too);

I just cringe looking at these pictures. And I want to punch whoever did this to our dear T! That's where I go when I feel someone I know has been wronged. Immediate physical violence (in my imagination!) to the offender.

Love,
Dina
xxxx

[Aurelia]

I'm sorry the Fat Lady sang....crap.

[stayathomemom]

Please don't tell me you went to the 5 star "spa" at Mont for your wax?