Creepy stalker

How creepy is this!  Just got this note in my inbox:

"I thought I should bring it to your attention that there has been a woman that has been impersonating you on our Parents of Toddler Twins board on Babycentre UK.  She has been using your photos and pretending to be you.  Here are the links for you to see..."

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2266

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2212

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2188

Creepy huh.  All the images she uses are from my Flickr account.  What should I do? 

(BTW, I had to have a good laugh! She claims she is 8 weeks pregnant, and uses a photo of me with the caption "Pregnant fairy" - hahahaha!  Fuck.  Told you I had a sticky out belly! On a more positive note, she claims to be 7 years younger than I am. So I might look permanently pregnant, but at least I look younger than my years)

Comments

[Andrea]

Oh Tertia, that is beyond creepy. What is she trying to achieve? ICK. At the very least I would e-mail this person and let them know you're aware, and threaten to expose her. Maybe she'll slink away in shame.

[Alison]

Oh my gosh, that is creepy. Not just that she would use your children's pictures (that's certainly bad enough), but that she would claim to be you! (BTW, you don't look pregnant at all in that picture. Who calls themselves a "pregnant fairy," anyway?)

I'm not at all sure what you should do, but I'd start with contacting her and demand that she remove all the pictures. Then maybe notify the board administrator?

I have my flickr account private, and now I'm glad. People can be so bizarre, and you never know what is in a crazy's mind.

[stephanie]

OMG!!! That is utterly, utterly disturbing. You need to contact BabyCenter UK ASAP and insist that they remove all those posts with your children's pictures!!! First, I would register for and post on that bulletin board to call her out publicly.

I never post pics of my daughter online because I'm afraid of weirdos and freaks like this.

[N]

I use babycentre, and hate that there are people out there like this. I have actually emailed the editors and community leaders telling them what is going on - I feel more sorry for the poor unsuspecting other users sharing information and photos with someone that is obviously a fraud.

Is there anyway you can protect your online photos with a watermark or something so no one without a password can copy them? I would be really freaked!!

[Anon (because that creepy person is probably reading your site and I don't want her visiting mine!)]

Very creepy ... but also oh so sad. To feel the need to take on someone else's persona and pictures and family. Gives me the shivers.

[chasa]

I would register there and absolutely "out" her publicly and then contact the board admin to bring it to their attention. That's just disgusting and more than a little scary.

[Liz]

That is one thing to impersonate you, another to steal your kids pictures. That is dangerous. I set all photos with my kids in it as private on flickr, only my family and friends can view them. You need to contact babycenter UK right away. That is just sick!

[Nicole]

Oh Tertia. That goes above and beyond creepy!! I'd contact Baby Centre as well as the poster and have all of that removed immediatly!

[stephanie]

Good god. If you do a search on this person's user name, you see that she's got nearly 150 messages with your family's pictures, dating back to at least December 2007.

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?sr=y&msg=1816.1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins

[janet]

oh TOTALLY report it to the babycenter people. in fact there is a specific button to click that says "report violation."

DO IT!!!!!

[Helen]

de-lurking 'cos this has made me feel physically ill! What gets me is how she thinks she can get away with using your pictures given how well-known you are to the internet community. It is quite horrifying. Please do report it asap. You can't force people to be honest on the web, but that goes beyond fantasy weirdness. I hope you get it resolved ASAP.

[Allison]

It is creepy that she is using your photos. But more creepy that she has used them to fabricate her story. She's even got her fake husband acting in the way yours would.
"Recognise any of the brands on the bottles, Jill? There’s a SA shop in Napier where Gerard buys his booze from, as well as the Nick Nacks (in Amina’s hand in the cake photo). Oh, and he meticulously organised the bottles and glasses in neat rows – I was actually surprised that he didn’t put the bottles in alphabetical order"

[Nikki]

OMG!!! I can't believe this!! What a FREAK! I had a look at her profile and she even says that her "husband" is originally from South Africa. How wierd. I would definately "out" her on the babycentre board!! Keep us informed about what you decide to do!

Nikki

[Laura M.]

De-lurking here too. OMG that makes me sick to my stomach too to look at it. Did you see she's saying she's pregnant with identical twins now? Im sure that's a big ole fake too. This woman has some serious problems to be doing this. You need to contact her and the website asap.

[mijk]

Ithink you can report her to flickr too.. And is so stupid I mean she really thinks there are twinmothers out there who don't read yopu?

[JenC]

What kind of person does that? So very creepy. I would definitely out her, and report her to BabyCentre and Flckr. I really feel sick to my stomach right now.

[N]

I think its all out in the open - http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=25&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2266

and then two or three deleted messages. But why they have kept the original messages with your photos is beyond me.

Having a look through all the things shed posted she obivously reads here - she was nicking sentances, phrases and photos like no-ones business. Freaky.

[Laura M.]

De-lurking here too. OMG that makes me sick to my stomach too to look at it. Did you see she's saying she's pregnant with identical twins now? Im sure that's a big ole fake too. This woman has some serious problems to be doing this. You need to contact her and the website asap.

[Jessica]

How do you know she is really in the UK? Could she be right down the street...??? I would contact all parties concerned ASAP.

[Lisa]

That is sooooo f*cked up. WOW. Delurking just to say she's an absolute freak. Get UK Babycenter on the phone ASAP and demand that every image be erased.

Or wait....maybe YOU are the fake?? hahahahah!

[Jessica (a different one)]

Ok it totally freaks me out to see your kids on someone elses site! Fix it!!

[Tanya]

Report her, and out her on that board. Let people know exactly what a fraud she is. Who knows if she is trying to get info about them to use!

[Rosie]

Wrong. So flippin' wrong on so many levels. Report her. I need to shower now.

[Susy]

I went over there and it seems that the site administrators are saying that the issue has been addressed, the stalker has been banned, and you've been contacted. However, the pictures are still up. I'd write them and ask that they be removed. Could be a big job for them, but I'd have thought they'd have caught this awhile ago (apparently this crazy bitch has been posting there for a least a year--I see posts going back that far)!

[Amy]

Wow is that creepy!! I would've created an account and gotten all in her face. I'm hostile like that. :)

[Stephanie]

oh mmmm geee, how scarey and soooo creepy!
I hope you can get the pix taken off that site....ugh.

[Nicki069]

Hi all,
Just wanted to give you the BC toddler twin perspective and assure you we are doing all we can to get this mess sorted. As far as I can see she joined us relatively recently. Many were suspicious from early on but couldn't find any proof. When she posted the scan pic...well they are easier to track. From that moment she was barred from further posts and all members of the board contacted via e-mail but without further proof it was assumed the rest of 'her' life could still be 'ok'. However on request I started to look for any of the other pics and eventually found you. This was passed onto the bc managers and we anticipate the removal of them ASAP. We are a close community and have been outraged as much as everyone here. Goodness knows where this would have ended. Much love to you all, Nicki xxxxxxxx

[Mel]

I think she is rather gorgeous and divine....

[Mel]

And her husband is quite dishy too....

[D]

Wow people are nuts!!! That person must be crazy... lol

[Christy]

Ooh, freaky.

You know, you can go to your flickr picture and click "replace" and upload any thing you want. I'd replace whatever pics she's used with something a little more fun ;) Or, maybe just a block of text that says "some crazy nut stole this picture from Tertia"

[D]

ok... so I didn't really click on the links at 1st cuz I thought it would be weird... but then I gave in and looked... OMG... that is just too weird.... what a wackjob

[Lisa V]

At least she is hot!

A few years ago I was quite active on an adoption board. For two years, five of us hung out daily and were a close little support group within the larger board. One day one of the members was found to be completely fake and lying about nearly all aspects of her life. It broke my heart. I didn't know really the circumstances that she would choose to be someone different. I felt sad for her that she had to have a pretend life.

[Mary]

So god damn weird. Reminds me of those freaks who are obsessed with pregnancies, pretend to be pregnant, then end up murdering pregnant women for their babies. I bet this woman has serious issues.

[GAHH]

Holy buckets of crap. I'm speechless.

I can't even begin to articulate all the wrongs this brought forth.

CREEPY in all caps.

[Lisa]

Wow, that is so creepy!

[Heather Ann]

I know some people put an image across their photos - like a copyright mark - so that the photos cannot be used by anyone else. I don't know how this is done, because I am not a techie - sp? - but I'm sure someone you know can help you.

I was on a list with a woman who made stuff up - and used other people's pictures. We finally "outed" her after he son died of brain cancer and she lost a twin pregnancy...it was unfair to make other people feel for her and her problems when they were fictitious. Of course, her big problem was that she was a whack job.

[Nicole]

I am all for reporting her, HOWEVER it would be way more fun to call her out on it right on the boards, in front of all her friends. Post pics that are not on your flickr account, or a scan of your ID w/ name, referral to your facebook or your book cover, theres a pic on that right? Do something to embarass the freak!!!

[Michelle]

The message above from Nicki069

I do not think that is someone from Baby Centre - no reputable organization would respond in the comments -- that is probably the same person posting on the site. Tertia - I would try to track that comment.

[kristylynne]

Holy effing shite. I would be totally freaking out if I were you. Report her to the board admin immediately. And include a link to your blog and your flicker acct to prove your point.

What's even scarier is that this person (he? she?) is not only using your pics, but making shit up about the birthday party "she" threw for "her" imaginary kids.

[Foster]

That is extra weird to me b/c this past week we just busted someone for faking on my birth club BabyCenter USA message board! She was claiming to be pg w/ twins (wtf is the deal w/ twins here). Well, she posted in the birth announcement thread that the girls were born early but doing fine. Well, someone did an image search for twins in nicu and found the pix of "her girls": twin boys, already toddlers now! Of course she got banned, etc etc.. I just thought the timing of this was interesting.

[heleen]

How on earth did you ever find out?
Makes you seriously worried about posting any pics!!

[Amy]

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParTodTwins&tid=2284

The offender has been banned. I know a lot of people are totally creaped out, I am looking at a different perspective. This is a very sick woman and I hope she gets some help. She has a serious mental illness. Unfortunately, when she stole your photos she didnt realise she was stealing the identity of one of the English languages top bloggers.

[Andrea]

Contact the sources and get her profiles removed. Short of going completely anonymous like some of your original vagina posse, I don't think there is much else you can do. Some people really don't have a life...so they borrow others'! Geez....

[Kris]

Hey, she even has pics of your sister too...

[louise]

Oh how utterly awful. I hope they can get all of your images down asap.

[mare_imbrium]

This has not happened to me (that I know of - I mean knowing some sicko who did this). But it happened to a friend of mine - she may read your blog, actually, and might come tell the story herself later. I don't know much of the details but I remember reading her updates on her research into this fake person she found...that the woman faked her own death and started posting as a friend or something...definitely crazy. Sad thing is that the crazy woman pretending to be you will probably just steal another family's photos, create a new identity and just start posting somewhere else (or maybe even in the same place if she wasn't IP banned or can get around it).

[Adi]

Weirdo deluxe... you have to wonder about a sad sicky mind like that...

[Melanie]

What a freak. I've heard of people pretending to be pregnant and pinching other people's scans...but not pinching their whole lives! Posting a photo of you and saying its her. Taking your husband... and your sister?! (I didn't see that one.)

People are nutso. I've had graphics (not photos) stolen and done what someone else suggested - replaced the pic with an image that says "This image is stolen!" I found it rather entertaining, because what are you going to do then? You can't deny it...

Sorry this happened to you Tertia. At least you found out now instead of months from now. I know a message board where there was a person who pretended to be someone she wasn't for almost a year before they could call her out.

[stephanie]

On the one hand I can understand why the Babycenter UK posters don't want to harp on and on about the situation on their board, but at the same time, Tertia and her family just found out about this, so they (and those who feel upset on their behalf) certainly deserve a little time to get used to the idea...

[Flicka]

Oh Tertia, ew! How scary and creepy and yuck! I have no advice on what to do, just wanted to throw my hat in the ring and say there's no way she could ever come close to being as fab as the real you. How sad that she would even try.

[Sarah]

Wow. People of the internet really are stupid!
Seriously though, I always worry about the posters who use oversize, flashing, glittered letters on their posts.

[Em]

Since everyone has already been all outraged for her, I would like to admire the chicks energy. Wouldn't I love to have the energy and focus to make up fake names, invent a life with stories and details and birthdays and everything. Shit, I can't always make my shoes match.

[Flicka]

Posting again to say that Sarge said he read on Yahoo! news that Flickr reported having security problems about a week ago and that they have been having problems with pictures being lifted. So at a guess, I'd say she saw an opportunity to steal your pics and then just kind of built from there. Don't know if the plan came fully formed or she just made it up as she went along. Ugh. Thinking of you.

[Judy]

Tertia - a sick thing, that's for sure.

[Jo]

There was a very sick person here in Utah who claimed she had a daughter who was dying from brain cancer. She got all kinds of donations and stuff too. Later it was found this woman, didn't have kids herself and the daughter, was actually her niece. The only good news was that the little girl is perfectly healthy. There are some sick people out there!

[Sister Mel]

I absolutely hate this. Now I understand people being so security conscious and questioning our openess. Not happy!

[Gina]

Oh my God...
I cannot believe the chutzpah of this woman!
You are taking this remarkably well T, I would be having an absolute shit-fit!
I really hope they sort this out quickly. I am so sorry that you all have to experience something so ugly.

[caro]

one more thing you might want to do, tertia: change the download permissions on your flickr accout (in the account/permission settings) to anything but "anyone". that way, people can not download fullsize versions of your pics.

[Nicola]

That is some seriously freaky shit...
She probably has a cyber crush on you and wishes she had your life. It sucks for you, but, in a way I feel almost sorry for her because she is probably messed up and desperate. I'm not sure what you can do; that's the thing with cyberspace - it's so accessible and open... Scary!

[taz]

Too bizaar!!!! WHY would people do this?

[Ann Johannesburg, South Africa]

This is so shocking and really freaky.

[Beth]

That is both sick and creepy. I'd be all for sending that woman an e-mail and telling her to KNOCK IT OFF NOW!

[Macca]

Very sick. Contact the Board moderators and explain the situation and ask to have her membership disabled and the posts removed.

[Lesley Richards]

Tabitha is obviously severly disturbed and Babycentre should remove the pics and the posts asap. I think they should contact her though and offer some counselling, she is clearly going through a very bad head-space.

[heatherG]

I'm so embarassed that she's a New Zealander. We're not all nutbars. That is... if she is really a kiwi.

We had an odd one on our babycenter birth club board a long time ago and her name was Tab I recall.

[Maritza]

Get the administrators to remove all posts by this dupe!

Unbelievable!

[Ms Porcelain]

Wow!! That is scary.

I guess it is reallt sad that there is someone out there who will take bits and pieces of your life and claim it as their own. I feel bad for her really. I assure you that there are many more people out there like her.

[Ms Porcelain]

Wow!! That is scary.

I guess it is really sad that there is someone out there who will take bits and pieces of your life and claim it as their own. I feel bad for her really. I assure you that there are many more people out there like her.

[hanlie]

I'm appalled! Tristan and Amina? What kind of a sick person does this?

And do you even get Klipdrift in NZ?

[Ms Porcelain]

sorry for double post- I got a little trigger happy there :)

[Nicki069]

Nicole: I am genuine. I am not a bc manager I am merely a bc parent of toddler twin user. I found the flippin pics in the first place and reported them. I can fully understand the upset but we are as upset as anyone that its on our board. Now we are the ones feeling hounded.Please if people feel the need to respond can they do it via the bc community managers not the actual board. Some people got quite involved with this poster, especially those hoping for the same 'miracle' she claimed to have just had. We have lots of infertility survivors on our boards and they really identified with her. On a positive note if it brings them to this site then it is the one good thing to come from this whole nasty situation.

[Hiedi]

Hi Tertia,

I'm a toddler twins babycentre user and I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I think what 'Tabita' has done is awful and it has really shaken us all. We all have photo's on that site too that for all we know she has taken. We've also shared our personal email addresses and our lives with her. She's been around every day since about the beginning of the year. Some of our members (particularly one of our South African twin mum's) became very close to her and are devastated. Btw Nicki is real, it was her that uncovered it when she found that 'Tabita' had also nicked someone else's id twin scan picture from another site.
So sorry, and you're always welcome to join us for real! btw your children are beautiful.

Hiedix (who is most definitly a real twin mum!)

[Lornagh]

She is obviously a very disturbed person to have gone to all the trouble of "creating" a family. Her possible mental state does not however change the fact that I'm absolutely gobsmacked!

Tertia, if you'd like your online photos watermarked, let me know. I can do it for you.

[Lizelle]

WEIRD! Very disturbing, and yet also very sad indeed.

[Ali]

I can really understand why you would all be upset I am also another twin mum and an infertility survivor from babycentre uk I have posted there for years and I was another to be completely convinced by this person.
I for one would also like to apologise for all the upset this has caused and can assure you that I feel very shocked and saddend by the whole thing we are trying to carry on as usual and really don't wish to offend anyone by not answering any posts on our actual board.
Ali
x

[tess]

we get "Fakers" all the time on various triplet boards i contribute to.

administrators, etc basically say if you have a "family that fascinates" (multiples) and aren't watermarking your photos and are in the public domain, then it is very likely some lonely person (we often get a lot of teenagers during spring break), is going to gratefully grab your pictures and try to take your life.

"tabita" basically outed herself when she declared she was having another set of identicals. that's a red flag for any whack a troll. they always tend to have drama, because that's when they get attention.

so sorry you had this violation, tee.

[Wobs]

She isn't so much a stalker as she's an ID thief! So sorry that it happened to you!

[Fi]

This all seems so sad really. Wierd and sad, but still very sad. One of the strangest parts was the way she 'stole' Marko's personality. I can't help wonder how her own man would feel about this - kind of insignifigant, I guess. Or maybe she is alone, and really wants to be with some-one. Copying a husband's personality seems particually odd to me.
Perhaps she has lost children, perhaps no-one listened to her when she was a kid, or perhaps she is just a wierdo. Whatever the reason, it's sad.