So Close

Calling all dog lovers, geeks and fellow athletes

I hate waste. Part of the reason I am carrying an additional 540 pounds around my middle is because I can't bear the thought of throwing away a half-eaten sandwich / cookie / whatever, so I eat the kid’s leftovers. What made me feel marginally better about the inordinate amount of waste my children generate, is that I could give it to the dog to eat. That was until Marko caught the tail end of a conversation on the radio where they were talking about how bad ‘scraps’ / leftovers were for dogs. He immediately called me (06:45am! Practically at work already. Yes, that is how early he leaves home. Madness!!) to tell me that with immediate effect, Rose and I are to cease all scrap giving to the dog.  No more scraps / leftovers / entire meals that the kids won’t eat. It kills me to scrape platefuls of uneaten meals into the rubbish bin, so I thought I would ask you. Are scraps etc really very bad for dogs? Poor Bruno is distraught about his new, extremely boring, scrap-free diet. Not a leftover sandwich in sight.  Thoughts? Insights? Are there scraps that are ok to give to dogs? Woollies heat n eat kiddies meal, Chicken NoodleDo version? Ok? Not ok?

Then, to all the geeks out there. I need to buy a new printer as my current one (circa 1974) is busy packing up. I am looking for a 4-in1 (fax, copier, printer and scanner) for home use. Any suggestions? Feature packed for practically nothing is what I am after. If it can cook, clean and give blow jobs as well, so much the better. Will free me up for more important tasks at hand. No pun intended.

Lastly, to my fellow high-performance athletes out there, what is a ‘stitch’? (Do you call it that there? That pain you get in your side when you exercise) What causes it? How best to prevent it? Drink more wine and stop any and all exercise completely?

PS If I am ever tempted to cook again, please shoot me. I made roast chicken on Monday night. It was burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. I tried to pass it off as ‘medium-rare, char grilled roast chicken’ but no one seemed terribly excited at the idea. Have I mentioned how much I hate cooking?

Good start, bad ending

I decided on Friday (after your prompting) to give the teacher the info on Adam’s sensory issues and after reading it (printed from my blog) she spent most of Monday doing one on one time with Adam. She did a great job with him. When I came to fetch Adam and Kate from school on Monday, the teacher told me what a good day they both had. Especially Adam. I told them how very proud I was of them and I could see Adam visibly puffing out his chest. He kept telling me the rest of the day what a big boy he is. “Adam is a big, big boy”. Yes he is!

But, I know that not every day will be as good as Monday and so I was prepared for a few tears today, but this morning started amazingly well. As we arrived outside the school gates, Adam said “School is fun. Adam says ‘bye mommy’ and then mommy comes to fetch us later” I said that school was definitely fun and that I would always come fetch them later. And with that, the two of them skipped into school and Adam gave the teacher a big hug when he saw her.

Yay, I thought! I can’t believe how much easier this is going than I expected.

Unfortunately when I came to fetch them today, the teacher said that Adam had bitten another little boy. Quite hard. I felt embarrassed and also very sad for Adam, because I could see how hard he was trying, but the strain of being a ‘big, big boy’ was just too much for him. And so he gave into his frustration and bit. Thank goodness the child he bit was my cousin’s child (hopefully family is more forgiving), coincidentally a bad previous biter himself. But still, biting is not on.

I can see how hard he is trying. It’s been a big few weeks for him. After spending LOADS of one on one time with me over my December break, he has gone straight into me working again, then starting school, and then starting OT again. Lots of changes and transitions, his worst type of things! He is trying hard to control his insides. And so I can’t be too cross with him, but I am going to have to be firm with him.  Biting is not acceptable. End of story.

But, besides the biting incident, they are doing very well, and all in all, I am very pleased and very proud at how well they are doing.

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Right, as for the rest of my hectic life, I am under huge pressure at work, so I haven’t been able to answer all of your emails. Sorry! I will get an update from my sister-in-law re the funds for Masande’s reg fees later today. As for the South Africans who want to help, please email me and I will give you my bank details. I can’t think of another way to do it, to be honest. Such a pain that there isn’t a local version of Paypal. Grrr.

 

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UPDATED:  Thank you!  We have more than enough for the registration fees. Any additional monies will be given to him to pay for books etc. Thank you so very much for your generosity, it is much appreciated. Next step, organizing a grant!!  I think that is going to be an administrative pain in the proverbial, but we can cope with that.  Thanks a million, thanks to you he can register tomorrow and start classes on Monday.  Thank you! (I know I keep saying 'thank you', but it feels so inadequate to express my gratitude.  So, thank you.)  Ok, going to end this now because am feeling really emotional.  xxx

PS:  Thank you.

Update on Harrison Update

Thank you, you are all so very generous.

So, here is the update.  I called the university and found out that Masande can only apply for a grant / financial assistance once he has registered.  And he can only register once he has paid a registration fee of R3100 ($450).  (This is more than double Harrison's monthly income. There is just no way he is going to find that kind of money) R630/$90 of this goes towards University admin fees, the rest of it will count towards his first fee installment.  Once he has registered, he can approach the university for financial assistance with his fees (R13,000/$1850 per annum, excluding books).  Registration closes on Saturday.  Classes start on Monday.  It is not guaranteed he will get financial aid, but the very, very helpful and charming man I spoked to from the university (Ayton) said that if Masande's academic results are satisfactory, and he can prove financial need, he should stand a good chance of getting financial assistance. The 'financial need' part is indisputable. As for the other part....

I called Harrison this evening and asked to speak to Masande. I told him that a bunch of people from across the world were willing to help him, but before I went ahead and accepted their gracious offers of help, I needed to know that he was 100% committed to his studies, and that he was willing to work hard and give it his best.  He said he was. 

Unfortunately Paypal STILL hasn't facilitated South African account holders to receive payments.  However my very generous sister-in-law who lives in London has offered to collect the funds of his behalf.  So, if you are willing to help, please send the donation to martinaloebenberg@gmail.com. She will collect the money and forward it to me.  Thank you.

A very kind, very generous, very beautiful blog reader who lives in Hong Kong kindly offered to pay the full registration fee, but I don't want her to do it all on her own.  If others are willing and able to help, then so much the better.  In the meantime, I paid the money across the university tonight out of my account because we don't have much time between now and Saturday for the funds to clear.  If we collect more than is necessary, I will use the money for books etc.

I still intend pursuing options for grants for him, so please keep the suggestions and contacts coming.  I've also got a commitment from Masande that he will go to the grant office at the University and get all the necessary forms, but any and all ideas in terms of corporate sponsorship etc will be appreciated. I've got some great ones already that I will be following up shortly.

Then, as for Nontobeko, I've asked her to send me her exact qualifications and a mini resume.  I really would like to help her find an internship somewhere.  I am sure there MUST be companies out there who are looking for bright young graduates to join them.  I've got a few initial contacts from the earlier post and will pursue all of them as soon as I have all her details. 

Thank you everyone, for your tips, contacts and wonderful generosity. If anyone ever questions the value of blogging, I will point them to the amazing impact you blog readers have had on the lives of people like Rose, Harrison, Masande and Nontobeko. Lives have been changed because of the wonderful sense of community we share.  It makes me feel humble.

 

Update on Harrison

A few month’s back I told you about Harrison, a guy I used to work with many years ago and who has for the last 7 years been tending to my garden every second Saturday. A whole bunch of you very generously donated some money so that he could have a ceiling and a toilet installed in his house. The toilet isn’t yet complete, but he has had the ceiling installed and he is very grateful to all of you. It makes a huge difference with the extreme heat we get here in Summer. Harrison is extremely proud of his house, the first brick and mortar house he has ever owned. They used to live in a shack before.

I saw Harrison last Saturday and his first words were “how much does it cost for a bucket of ice-cream?”  Huh? A bucket of ice cream he says. I don’t know, I reply, about R25 or so, why? He tells me he is now selling ice-creams from his house, for some extra money. R1 for a scoop of ice-cream in a cone. Way too cheap! I told him that we pay R4.5 for a scoop of ice-cream; he should be charging at least R2.  (1USD = 7ZAR)

I asked him if he was selling ice-creams over the weekend. No, he says, his oldest two children are selling the ice-creams during the week. What! I thought they were at college. His oldest daughter Nontobeko is 22 and is about to graduate with a Food Technology diploma (I think in micro biology) and his 19 year old son, Masande has just finished high school. He has been accepted into the University of the Western Cape to study Chemical Engineering. But none of that matters because his daughter can’t find a job (unemployment is very high in SA. Currently at 40%) and on his indecently (bordering on illegal!) low wage, there is no way Harrison can afford to pay for his son's university fees. It breaks my heart.

I am so proud of his children for what they have achieved, against all odds. Their mother works six days a week as a cleaner, and their father works five days a week in a car wash. Both of them have to leave very early and arrive home very late because they have to walk quite a distance to catch the bus and train.  In spite of having to study in a tiny shack, with a tin roof and no floor; no running water, no toilet, intermittent power; when so many young people drop out of school due to poverty, gangsterism and violence; in spite of that, they still studied damn hard and did really well. And now this.

I want to try and help them. Does anyone have any idea how I could do this? Is there anyone with contacts with companies who might be interested in sponsoring Masande’s university fees? Any food companies who would take Nontobeko as an apprentice? Does anyone have any ideas / contacts / influence?  Surely there must be something I can do for them? Put them in touch with the right people. Any suggestions as to how I should approach this?  I can’t believe that these two young people who have shown such great strength and determination have to spend the rest of their lives selling ice-creams for R1 from their backyard.

Have a nice day!

I am in total shock. Not one tear was shed today!

This morning when we left home, Adam wanted to know where we were going, in what order. He always likes to know what is on our agenda. “First we gonna go to Woolworths, then we gonna go to drop off Daddy’s suit, then we going to go to Mimi’s house”. We go to Woolworths a lot. (If I buy them something, anything, they will exclaim “Wow Mom, where did you get it from? From Woolworths?!”)

So this morning he asked where we were going, and I said we were going to school. He replied that he didn’t actually want to go to school; he would prefer to stay home. I replied that he had no choice as school is what we did on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday and that I would drop him off and be back later to fetch him again. He chose not to reply.

When we stopped outside the school, Kate whooped “Yay!! School!!” (you’d think she’d at least pretend to be a little sad). Adam said nothing but didn’t seem too unhappy.

School rules are that it is fine motor activities until 9am and so when all the kids arrive between 8:15am and 9, they are shepherded inside to do the activities. Adam told me he didn’t want to go inside, he wanted to play in the wooden play house. So I said to him “that’s fine, but I am leaving now”. To which he cheerily replied “bye, have a nice day” and off he went.

‘BYE, HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!’

I couldn’t quite believe it. I practically ran out of there just in case he changed his mind. When I came to pick them up, the teacher said they both had a great day and not a single tear was shed.

I can’t believe he didn’t cry!! I am so proud of my big children!

2008 Bloggies

(will remove annoying reminder when the voting closes on the 31st Jan)

In summary:  Am finalist.  Click here. Vote for me. Please. Thank you.

Vitamins and Minerals – Who is fooling who?

So, how does this vitamin thing work? I am completely confused now. Before I went to my nutritionist, I was under the impression that the levels in most multivitamins were insufficient. For example, even though they have, say 60mg of Vitamin C, which is said to be 100% of RDA, what you should actually be taking is 1000mg of Vitamin C.  I know some things are toxic in high doses, but I was under the impression that more is better. But looking at the multivitamin my nutritionist sold to me (Nutrilite Double X), I see that the levels of vitamins and minerals in there are way lower than the super high doses I’ve been taking. She says that is unnecessary to take such high levels and the levels in the Nutrilite are optimum. So why do people like Solgar sell super high doses of individual vitamins then? Is more not better? 

Apparently I am supposed to supplement with Chromium to assist with blood sugar. Fine. But if I need to take Chromium, how much do I take? Solgar sells a 200ug and 500ug version, and the Nutrilite only has 60ug? Why such a big difference? How much should I be taking? I’ve heard that 1000mg of Vitamin C is what you need, so how can they put only 60mg in the multivitamin? 

People like Solgar say that the multivitamin people are wasting my money because the doses in the mulitvits are too low to be of any effect, and the multivit people are saying people like Solgar are ripping us off because they are giving us way more than we need or can even absorb? How can both be right?

What made it even worse for me is that when handing me the pack of pills (which I bought because I thought I would be saving money by buying an ‘all in one’ solution), the nutritionist said “oh, some people take it twice a day, and others only once. But once is fine.” What? Some people take twice as much as others, and that is ok? There is either an optimum level or not! 

Can anyone shed any light on this? I am feeling as if I am being taken for a ride here, but I am not quire sure who the bad guy is. All I know is that I am feeling distinctly ripped off!

Kid friendly holidays in South Africa

This one is for locals. 

We (Marko, kids and I) want to go away for a week at the end of April. I am looking for a fun, kid friendly holiday place. Somewhere where there are things to do for the kids and that isn’t hugely expensive. Self-catering would obviously be first prize. Any suggestions?

I am not restricting this to the Western Cape, although that is where we will probably go this time, because we might think of going up country for our next holiday.

PS if you have a kid friendly holiday house to rent, please let me know. If it is filled with priceless antiques and cream furniture, then I better pass.

Conversation on our early morning walk

Scene: Me striding briskly up the road, pushing kids in the pram. Dog on lead.

Me: (after having my arm yanked out of my socket as Bruno spots a lamppost he hasn’t yet peed on) Bruno! You are such a pain!

Kate: Mom, that Bruno is a pain in the arse.

Me: *Choking*

Adam: What did you say Sissie?

Kate: I said Bruno is a pain in the arse

Me: *Desperately trying to think of the best way to handle this. Decide that pretending not to have heard is best approach*

Adam: Yes, Bruno is a pain in the arse

Please oh please let them not say that at school! 

Should you tell the teacher your child has ADD?

My sister's son has started a new school year with a new teacher.  He did really well on his meds last year, and his new teacher sounds like a good man.  But my sister has a bit of a dilemma - she wants to tell the teacher about Daniel's ADD so that the teacher gains better insight into Daniel, but on the other hand....

"Then I have my reasons for not telling….. I don’t want him to think I am a lazy parent who makes excuses for my kid and medicates for the wrong reasons....."

When my sister called me this morning, my first instinct was to say 'tell'.  But then I thought about how I haven't yet given the teacher the SID stuff I wrote about Adam because of the same fears.  We don't want to label our children, or make excuses for them (or come across as over neurotic, paranoid mothers), but we also want to make sure our children are helped wherever they can.  It is not an easy one. 

Please would you pop over to my sister's blog and give her your opinion.