I hate waste. Part of the reason I am carrying an additional 540 pounds around my middle is because I can't bear the thought of throwing away a half-eaten sandwich / cookie / whatever, so I eat the kid’s leftovers. What made me feel marginally better about the inordinate amount of waste my children generate, is that I could give it to the dog to eat. That was until Marko caught the tail end of a conversation on the radio where they were talking about how bad ‘scraps’ / leftovers were for dogs. He immediately called me (06:45am! Practically at work already. Yes, that is how early he leaves home. Madness!!) to tell me that with immediate effect, Rose and I are to cease all scrap giving to the dog. No more scraps / leftovers / entire meals that the kids won’t eat. It kills me to scrape platefuls of uneaten meals into the rubbish bin, so I thought I would ask you. Are scraps etc really very bad for dogs? Poor Bruno is distraught about his new, extremely boring, scrap-free diet. Not a leftover sandwich in sight. Thoughts? Insights? Are there scraps that are ok to give to dogs? Woollies heat n eat kiddies meal, Chicken NoodleDo version? Ok? Not ok?
Then, to all the geeks out there. I need to buy a new printer as my current one (circa 1974) is busy packing up. I am looking for a 4-in1 (fax, copier, printer and scanner) for home use. Any suggestions? Feature packed for practically nothing is what I am after. If it can cook, clean and give blow jobs as well, so much the better. Will free me up for more important tasks at hand. No pun intended.
Lastly, to my fellow high-performance athletes out there, what is a ‘stitch’? (Do you call it that there? That pain you get in your side when you exercise) What causes it? How best to prevent it? Drink more wine and stop any and all exercise completely?
PS If I am ever tempted to cook again, please shoot me. I made roast chicken on Monday night. It was burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. I tried to pass it off as ‘medium-rare, char grilled roast chicken’ but no one seemed terribly excited at the idea. Have I mentioned how much I hate cooking?