Life
in the Australian Army
Dear Mum
& Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am . But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky
ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew
like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the
city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only
just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
This one
will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for
shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it
don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big
scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta
do is make yourself comfortable and hit
the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges,
they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar
of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes
ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they
break easy - it's not like fighting with
Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and
Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out
I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got,
and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5
and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm
only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other
blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't
complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around
how bloody good it is.
Your
loving daughter,
Sheila















Proud to be Australian!
Posted by: Helen | 23 January 2008 at 06:39 AM
Australians rock!!
Posted by: Meg | 23 January 2008 at 06:42 AM
Heh. Love it.
Posted by: Kirby | 23 January 2008 at 07:04 AM
Good One!
Posted by: Jazz | 23 January 2008 at 07:32 AM
Did you know it is the week of our national holiday? Another proud Aussie who got a laugh from that!
Posted by: Sheridan | 23 January 2008 at 07:51 AM
What, no Vegemite?
Posted by: Orange | 23 January 2008 at 08:31 AM
LOL... that's so funny... sheila darlin you are one tough cookie!
Posted by: Stef | 23 January 2008 at 10:03 AM
And it is Australia Day on Saturday!
Posted by: Veronica | 23 January 2008 at 10:22 AM
ahahahha!
Now that has a twist to it!
Posted by: Sheena | 23 January 2008 at 11:26 AM
So sad to hear the news about Australian, Heath Ledger. :(
Posted by: Bev | 23 January 2008 at 02:04 PM
Thanks for the laugh.
From another Aussie.
Posted by: leigh | 23 January 2008 at 02:10 PM
Oh, that gave me a nice chuckle, and I didn't see that last Sheila bit coming at all.
Posted by: JuliaKB | 23 January 2008 at 06:32 PM
Priceless! I love it.
Posted by: Flicka | 23 January 2008 at 06:53 PM
Another Aussie here. I love it! The twist at the end made me laugh out loud. Which is a problem. It's 3am here.
Posted by: Melissa | 23 January 2008 at 07:31 PM
Come on Aussie come on, come on, come on Aussie come on...
Thanks for thinking of us Tertia!
Posted by: kate | 23 January 2008 at 09:50 PM
I must be having no sense of humour at the moment.
Not even slightly funny, smart or relevant.
Posted by: Sarah | 24 January 2008 at 01:16 AM
Bloody Fantastic Mate
Posted by: Kimbosan | 24 January 2008 at 10:20 AM
Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi
Posted by: Claire | 24 January 2008 at 12:19 PM
Another Aussie chuckling! Good onya, Tertia!
Posted by: serina | 24 January 2008 at 01:19 PM
Hi! I'm an Aussie, and I laughed. See - you got me to delurk with that one.!
Posted by: Tracey | 26 January 2008 at 01:23 PM
It's too true! Thanks!
Posted by: Cathy | 29 January 2008 at 05:10 AM